The Qu brothers' eyes widened in an instant, and several other petty officials were also shocked. They never expected that not only did the emperor come to the Fengyue place, but that the person standing in front of him was actually the famous Prince Yongshi. They were really on their butts tonight.
Look - I'm blind!
"yes!"
Zhao Guanren quickly picked up the banknotes on the ground, stood up and said with a bad smile: "I never lie, there is a mine in my fiefdom, I am not a mine operator, Zhao Bifa is my nickname, hehe~"
'So fucking shameless!!!'
The Qu family brothers scolded their eighteenth generation ancestors in their hearts, but no matter how harsh they scolded, it was of no use. No matter how awesome their Ningguo Mansion was, they couldn't compare to the prince.
"Your Majesty! The Prince Consort is using prostitutes..."
Song Chizhu immediately added insult to injury and said angrily: "Feng Luan, in line with his lust for power, arranged for two official prostitutes to sleep with him. He also registered the official prostitutes and bought a private house for them to enjoy. The minister wanted to take her back."
Let him stop, how could he be so bold as to rush in and injure a lowly minister? It is so lawless!"
"Someone is coming!"
Emperor Shunyao pointed at his consort and shouted: "Take all these foul-smelling things to the Jingdu Guards for interrogation. They dare to act recklessly in front of my eyes. There must be more lawless activities behind them. Tell me every word."
Check it out!"
"Your Majesty, please be merciful! We will immediately raise military pay, and we will definitely satisfy Your Majesty..."
Qu Zheng rolled over and crawled over, but was kicked over by Emperor Shunyao. The guards immediately rushed in and tied them up, but Emperor Shunyao scolded: "Those corrupt officials will be thrown away."
Take away this fat-bellied Feng Luan and banish him immediately after trial!"
"Your Majesty, spare your life! Your Majesty, spare your life..."
Fat Fengluan lay on the ground and kowtowed violently, but he was dragged down anyway. Only a group of geishas were left in the room, kneeling and shivering. The Hu family's mother and daughter also lay on their stomachs and did not dare to move. Maybe even if they were beaten to death, they would not have thought that the emperor would actually
Would come to a place like this.
"Yunxuan! Why haven't you opened your door to see guests these past few days..."
The prince and Prince Duan walked in with enthusiasm. Zhao Guanren took off his black gauze hat to reveal his short hair, pointed at the Tianling Gai and said: "Shave your hair off to worship God. You really don't need to spend money to invite the gods. Burn incense to worship, and the tribute incense table is indispensable!"
"
"Yunxuan! It's really hard on you..."
Emperor Shunyao was touched and held his hand. Zhao Guanren said with a smile: "Everything is for the sake of the people of the world. You guys, please stop kneeling. Hurry up the table and let people serve wine and food. Play the flute."
Get up and dance!"
"Wei Chen will make arrangements. This is my responsibility..."
Song ran out after eating the pig farts. The guards also came in and put the tables and chairs back in place. The geishas quickly got up to play and sing. The Hu family's mother and daughter, under the command of Zhao Guanren, cautiously served tea and water to the four of them.
, Jin Wuming stayed at the window.
"You two close the door and wait inside..."
Emperor Shunyao waved his hand and lay on the table, saying in a low voice: "Yunxuan! There is a rumor among the people that I missed Erlang God when I offered sacrifices to heaven. But we have never seen gods before, and we thought that offering sacrifices to heaven means being filial to everyone.
God, is Erlangshen really unhappy?"
"Pa~"
Zhao Guanren lit a cigarette and said depressedly: "Would you be happy if I put it on you? You don't use bean bags as dry food!"
"Oh, my father! I must have said that right then..."
The prince said anxiously: "Ning Shao has one village and one household! It's like you sent a general to the countryside to suppress bandits, and the villagers paid all their money as tribute to the court. You and the court have made a note of them, but the big brother
The commander didn't get any benefits, how can he not be angry?"
"Your Majesty! This is indeed the truth..."
Jin Wuming turned around and said: "I personally don't care, but my brothers can't run away in vain. That night I felt that Erlang Shen was a little annoyed, so I threw a barking dog and turned around and left, otherwise our hall would not have been bombed.
He raised his hand!"
"I didn't mean it either..."
Emperor Shunyao clapped his legs and said anxiously: "Yunxuan! Is it too late for us to build a temple for Erlang God now so that the incense will continue all year round?"
"The temple cannot be erected, otherwise the Jade Emperor will be unhappy..."
Zhao Guanren waved his hand and said: "Don't worry! I have already paid my respects to Erlang Shen. Even if I have passed this article, the third prince came to me. I originally meant to make a joke about Shi Qi, but I didn't expect that he would really end up with Shi Qi."
Yu, I said Shiqiwu is a good dancer, but it’s not like Rain!"
"..."
The father and son looked at each other, and the prince asked in a low voice: "Are you happy or unhappy?"
"Dragon nature is inherently obscene! You can tell whether he is happy or not, but he can't rain rain randomly..."
Zhao Guanren smoked a cigarette and said: "There are rules in the sky. You cannot have an affair with a mortal, otherwise he will be thrown into the Hualong Pond and skinned and cramped. But in a few days, isn't it a flat peach meeting? I heard what he meant and wanted me to put ten
When Qi brings you to the Heavenly Palace, your soul will no longer be considered a mortal after leaving your body!"
"I can really go to heaven..."
The prince asked eagerly: "Can you come down after going to heaven? Can a dragon child be born if the soul leaves the body?"
"Of course you can't give birth. The soul is just a soul when it leaves the body..."
Zhao Guanren said: "The Jade Emperor gave me a hundred fairy cards and asked me to distribute them to a hundred good people and take them to heaven to eat a peach banquet. The first-class cards were only given to the nine generations of good people. I only have one in my hand. The second-class cards are given to me.
The first-class cards are given to innocent and good people, and the third-class cards are given to repentant and good people!"
"What?"
All four people were shocked. Prince Duan said in disbelief: "You are actually a good person in the ninth generation. How can you be a good person if you are greedy for money and lust?"
"Food and sex! What a bad thing! When did you see me starting to rebel and then giving up, harming the people..."
Zhao Guanren said disdainfully: "Do you know what kind of virtue I accumulated in my previous life? The corpse demon slaughtered only one tenth of the human race. I took the whole family to the battlefield to slay the demon. All mankind praised me as the human emperor. I didn't do anything.
, I came to Dashun to eliminate demons and protect the Tao with my bare buttocks!"
"I know!"
Emperor Shunyao suddenly slapped the table and said: "No wonder you risk your life to cure poison, and you also said you promised an expert to save all mankind from annihilation. This expert should be the Jade Emperor. Your mission should be to eliminate
All corpse poison!"
"That's right! What you said this time is absolutely right..."
Zhao Guanren smiled and said: "Actually, the Heavenly Palace is not in the sky, it is equivalent to another world. They control thousands of small worlds. The rules are not to forcibly interfere with the life and death of all walks of life, so they can only enlighten mortals and let them save themselves.
, it’s illegal for me to invite Shenlong!”
"Yunxuan!"
Emperor Shunyao asked in confusion: "Why should we not interfere with the birth and death of all walks of life? Who should we kill to offer incense to them?"
"Your Majesty! If you control ten thousand countries, each of which is as big as Dashun, and often fight for resources, how can you stop..."
Zhao Guanren said sternly: "A strong country will be bullied if it doesn't steal things, and a weak country doesn't want to be destroyed. You can't help anyone. You can only send a spy over to secretly help the weak country and maintain the balance between the two countries."
, Otherwise, if the powerful countries find out, they won’t rebel?”
"Oh! So that's it, this statement makes sense..."
The father and son suddenly realized. Zhao Guanren took out three gold medals and put them on the table and said: "That's what it means anyway. We mortals can't understand the things that gods fight for. These three gold medals are what I have given to you three."
Prepared!"
"Oh~"
The father and son exclaimed in unison, and Jin Wuming hurried over. The prince asked: "What grade are these? What's the difference?"
"Don't think about it for a while. I only have this piece of my neck, but God will listen..."
Zhao Guanren pulled out the big gold medal from his collar and said: "The second-class medal can travel to the heavenly palace. Go to the Pantaoyuan to participate in the Peach Conference. Not only can you meet the Jade Emperor, but you can also watch the seven fairies dance. The third-class medal can
I can only walk around outside the garden, squat on the ground and eat a peach, then get out!"
"Wandering in the Heavenly Palace! We are second-class, right..."
The father and son all became excited, lying on the table with six eyes shining brightly. Even Jin Wuming coveted: "Prince Zhao! I would like to ask for a third-class card. I don't expect to enter the fairy palace to see fairies. As long as I
I’ll be satisfied if I can squat down and eat a peach!”
Zhao Guanren raised his finger and said with a smile: "You are not stupid, a flat peach increases your life span by a thousand years!"
"What? If you eat a peach, you can live an extra thousand years..."
The four of them clenched their fists excitedly, but Zhao Guanren said again: "You can't become a goblin if you live for a thousand years. The Immortal Palace will give it to you in batches, so that you can live a hundred years in each life, and you will not let you have more flat peaches when you die."
Eat, two for each person is enough!"
"I'm just saying..."
Prince Duan said with some disappointment: "No one can live for a thousand years, but it is not bad to live for a hundred years in every life. Can you give us these three second-class cards?"
"According to the rules, you can't even get a third-class card..."
Zhao Guanren said: "You guys hurry up to Jianshantang and do real good deeds. When the time comes, I will tell you that the Emperor's House will set an example by doing good deeds, and it can lead a large number of good people and good deeds. As long as the four heavenly kings let go, you will pass the assessment."
Lao Jin’s third-class card is guaranteed by me!”
"Yunxuan! We, father and son, are deeply grateful for your great kindness..."
The father and son all stood up and bowed deeply, and Emperor Shunyao said seriously: "We have repented, and we will definitely do good deeds and accumulate virtues in the future, and change our past mistakes!"
"You put away the fairy cards first, but don't tell Shi Qi..."
Zhao Guanren pretended to be helpless and said: "Actually, there is only a thin line between the human world and hell. The human world can only be relatively clean, not absolutely clean. Since you have decided to let Shi Qi supervise the country, she must do some dirty things, otherwise Dashun will never be able to do it.
Day of peace!"
"this……"
The father and son hesitated, but Zhao Guanren waved his hand and said: "Don't worry! Xiao Bailong is still thinking about her. The Peach Club held a meeting and secretly carried her to heaven. When the time comes, I will give her a peach to eat, and she will be able to start and end well. Anyway,
I’ve eaten it twice and it’s still the same!”
"That's good, that's good..."
The father and son breathed a long sigh of relief again, and the prince asked: "By the way! When will the Peach Fair open? Is it too late for us to do good deeds now?"
"One day in the sky and one year on the earth! The gods are used to being lazy and do things very slowly..."
Zhao Guanren smiled bitterly and said: "You only told me a few days before we start eating. Their few days are our years, but you can rest assured that as long as you enshrine the immortal tablets, even if you die in battle, your soul will come to Nantianmen."
Just wait, you can see us in three or two days!"
"Oh! This is so good. I'm afraid I'll die and not be able to catch up..."
The four people were deceived to the point of being completely lame, but Zhao Guanren was not trying to trick them. Leading them to the right path was better than any other policy, but they couldn't be too radical, otherwise they would be in trouble if they took too big a step.
"Hu Lingzhi! Come in..."
Zhao Guanren called over the Hu family's mother and daughter, and said with a smile: "Your Majesty! You can do good deeds at any time. I think you should start with the Amnesty Music School and send them away. Those who are willing to stay are artists from good families, and those who are not willing to
Just send some money and send them back to their place of origin!"
"That's right! I will issue a decree tomorrow to grant amnesty to the world..."
Emperor Shunyao waved his big hand very happily. The Hu family's mother and daughter couldn't believe their ears. They knelt down on the ground in excitement and kowtowed to thank Zhao Guanren three times.
"Your Majesty!"
Jin Wuming suddenly whispered: "I don't think something's right about the singer playing the jade flute in the back. She keeps eavesdropping on our conversation with her ears raised, and the music she plays is out of tune!"
"Haha~"
Zhao Guanren knew that he was talking about the famous prostitute Dong Siyun, so he pretended to be casual and whispered: "I seem to know who she is, just look at my eyes and act!"