Faced with parents’ requests for marriage and blind dates, which are like reminders of death, what is the simplest way?
Find a boyfriend.
What to do if you don’t have a boyfriend? Rent one or borrow one!
This method is very effective, but it is also very dangerous. If you are in love, you need to get married, and if you get married, you need to have children. What is fake cannot be true, and what is true cannot be fake. If it goes wrong, it will be embarrassing.
On May 2nd, while everyone else was traveling or spending time together, Shen Fang was dragged by Shen's mother to a Western restaurant for a blind date.
No matter how Shen Fang stayed in bed this morning, she was eventually taken out of the house by the 'gentle' Mother Shen.
Shen Fang was dressed very casually today, because it was summer. She was wearing a midriff-baring vest, a pair of denim hot pants that couldn't be shorter, and a pair of open-toed sandals.
In order to cope with this blind date, she also dyed her nails colorfully, including her toenails. She had no makeup on her face, but she was carrying an unconventional backpack she bought many years ago. She didn't look like a people's teacher at all. Instead, she looks like a bad girl.
Shen's mother had strong opinions on this. She felt that Shen Fang should dress more formally to leave a good impression on the other party. Unfortunately, in the PK battle between mother and daughter, both parties compromised. Shen Fang Fang agreed to go on a blind date, but Shen's mother allowed Shen Fang to 'abuse' herself like this.
The blind date was set at two o'clock in the afternoon, but they went out early in the morning, first went to various shopping malls, and finally arrived at the Western restaurant half an hour early.
Originally, they thought they had arrived early enough, but unexpectedly, when they arrived, Cao Sizhe and his mother had already arrived early.
Cao Sizhe is very handsome. He is 1.82 meters tall. He wears a white shirt on his upper body, a navy blue suit on the outside, a tie around his neck, a pair of navy blue trousers on his lower body, and a pair of navy blue trousers on his feet. A pair of leather shoes that look very expensive at first glance. The leather shoes are polished to a high shine. His hair is also the most common parting. His hair is meticulously taken care of. He wears a pair of gold-rimmed glasses on the bridge of his nose. He looks like a gentleman at first glance. , However, the prescription of the glasses is a bit high, which gives people a bookish look.
When Shen Fang arrived, Cao Sizhe immediately stood up, greeted them, and helped pull out the chair.
Cao Sizhe first politely called Auntie, then looked at Shen Fang and called Xiaofang. He looked very polite.
Mother Shen was very satisfied, and Mother Cao was also very pleased. However, when Mother Cao saw Shen Fang's fancy dress, she subconsciously raised her eyebrows, but she didn't say anything.
After the two parties met, it was natural to exchange pleasantries for a while.
In fact, Mother Shen and Mother Cao were mainly chattering there, while Shen Fang and Cao Sizhe didn't say much.
After Shen's mother and Cao's mother chatted for a while, they saw that the two young men were silent. They looked at each other and got up knowingly, saying that they wanted to go shopping, so Shen was the only one left at the dining table. Fang and Cao Sizhe are two people.
"Xiao Fang..."
Cao Sizhe spoke first, but before he could finish speaking, he was interrupted by Shen Fang.
"Call me by my full name."
Hearing this, Cao Sizhe shook his head helplessly, with a slight displeasure on his face. However, the displeasure disappeared in a flash, and he still smiled and said: "How have you been doing these years?"
"It's pretty good. I eat well, sleep well, and everything is fine. Thank you for your concern."
Shen Fang didn't look at Cao Sizhe, but just played with her cell phone there, not wanting to talk to Cao Sizhe at all.
"I heard that you were admitted to Normal University back then?"
"OK."
"You could have gone to graduate school or studied abroad, so why didn't you continue your graduate studies? Instead, you became a primary school teacher?"
"I don't want to go to graduate school, and my family situation is not good and I have no money." Shen Fang raised her head, glanced at Cao Sizhe and said lightly.
Cao Sizhe was stunned for a moment, then smiled bitterly and shook his head.
If someone else said that, he would believe it. However, he and Shen Fang have been neighbors since he was a child. He knows the situation of Shen Fang's family very well. Although it is not a wealthy family, it is not the kind of family that does not have money to send its children to school.
, Shen Fang said this, obviously perfunctory to herself.
If you can't refuse the blind date, then you can only think of ways to mess up the blind date, and there are only a few simplest ways.
First, leave a very bad impression on the other party, ask the other party to stay away from you and get out.
Second, to scare the other person away, you can say that you are engaged in a profession that is difficult for ordinary people to accept, or that you are engaged in some high-risk or low-level industries to make the other party lose interest.
Third, constantly ridicule and ridicule the other party to keep the other party from getting off the stage and make them retreat in spite of the difficulties.
Fourth, lie about having a boyfriend, or being divorced, or having a child before marriage, etc.
In short, no matter what it is, it is to prevent the other party from becoming interested and sexual in you.
Shen Fang also insisted on and implemented this theory. She dressed so sluttishly, which gave Cao's mother a bad first impression. As for how Cao Sizhe was doing, Shen Fang was not interested, but she could tell that Cao Sizhe was looking at her.
After getting dressed like this, he obviously frowned, but when Mother Shen walked over, the frown instantly relaxed.
The second point is meaningless to Cao Sizhe and Shen Fang, because the other party knows that she is a primary school teacher. The profession of teacher is neither unacceptable, nor a high-risk profession, nor a lowly profession, so
, Shen Fang decided to try the third method.
However, Shen Fang has not opened the
But Cao Sizhe started first.
"Xiaofang, it's not good for a girl's health to wear such short clothes, especially when she gives birth to a child in the future."
"..."
"Xiaofang, don't wear nail polish. There are many chemical elements in it, which are not good for your health. However, it's good that you didn't wear makeup today. I like it very much. After all, today's cosmetics contain various chemicals.
Medicines are not good for the skin.”
"..."
"You are a graduate of a normal university, how can you be a primary school teacher? I have a friend who is the leader of a high school. I can introduce you to him. How about you teaching in a high school?"
"..."
"You have graduated as an undergraduate, and now adults can also go to graduate school. I suggest you go to graduate school and get a doctorate by the way. I have a double doctorate now. I plan to get a doctorate in two years. You
Come on!"
"..."
"In the future, when we are together, where are you going to settle down? At home or abroad? I am currently working in a Fortune 500 company abroad, and I plan to settle abroad in the future. In this case, you can follow me to live abroad.
."
"..."
"You are a liberal arts student, so you should know a lot about literature. What books have you been reading recently?"
"...."
Ever since Shen's mother and Cao's mother left, Cao Sizhe started to chatter endlessly, just like the Tang Monk in Journey to the West, which made Shen Fang's head hurt. More importantly, this guy seemed to have regarded himself as her boyfriend. , No, he is his fiancé, and he has begun to plan their future, and he also said it so plausibly that Shen Fang was unable to refute, and she even felt that what this guy said was damn right.
As Cao Sizhe's mouth opened and closed, Shen Fang felt that she was garbage. She had lived like a dog for the past thirty years. This made Shen Fang very aggrieved and helpless. She wanted to refute several times, but, Every time she retorted one sentence, the other party could retort her ten sentences, and Shen Fang was about to collapse.
"Cao Sizhe, actually, I have a boyfriend."
"uh-huh?!!!"
Cao Sizhe, who was raising his head and talking endlessly, was stunned when he heard this and was a little surprised. However, he quickly thought of something and shook his head, showing a gentle smile.
"Xiao Fang..."
"Call me by my full name."
"Auntie told me that you haven't had a boyfriend since graduating from college and have been single. You had three when you were in school. I know this, but don't worry, I won't mind. After all, you were still a boy at that time. I can understand being young and ignorant."
"..."
The corner of Shen Fang's mouth twitched, she looked at Cao Sizhe, and said in her heart: [You don't mind, I do, okay? What do you mean by being young and ignorant? It sounds like you are very experienced.]
"I really have a boyfriend." Shen Fang said while maintaining a stiff smile.
In fact, at this time, Shen Fang already had the urge to overturn the table and wanted to throw the untouched glass of red wine in front of her on the face of this proud man. He was still as narcissistic and as handsome as when he was a child. Abominable.
But Cao Sizhe shook his head and said very confidently: "Don't lie to me. Before I came back, I knew you well and knew that you don't have a boyfriend. If you do, it must be a fake."
【It would be a pity if you don’t become a detective.】
Shen Fang thought to herself that she was helpless and desperate now. From the beginning to now, she has been at a disadvantage. Talking about academic qualifications, this guy has a double doctorate. Talking about experience, this guy studied abroad for nearly ten years, and in 500 Working in Qiang Company, we talked about experience and experience. How could she, who had been working as a teacher in an elementary school since graduating from college, compare with this guy?
Seeing Shen Fang's pretty red face, Cao Sizhe had recently evoked a moving arc. He was confident, yes, he was very confident. So, his head was raised again, looking up like he had done many years ago. Looking at the girl in front of him.
Suddenly, Cao Sizhe frowned because he saw Shen Fang smiling, and she was smiling happily. When she smiled, she was so beautiful, so touching, and so addictive, just like when she was standing on the street. It was as if he had gotten the candy he wanted to eat. Unfortunately, Cao Sizhe also discovered that Shen Fang's smile was directed at him, but at someone else. This person was behind him.
Cao Sizhe turned his head following Shen Fang's gaze, and then saw a guy wearing cheap casual clothes, with white hair, a stooped body and a tired look on his face.
[Who is this guy? He looks like he’s forty years old, right? He’s dressed in such a shabby way, and it looks like he doesn’t have much money. He’s good-looking, but he doesn’t feel comfortable no matter what, especially the messy beard on his chin.
of.】
Cao Sizhe looked at the man walking straight towards them, his brows furrowed and he felt increasingly uncomfortable.
"Hello, Teacher Shen!"
Just when Cao Sizhe was focusing all his attention on Xu Lang, a milky girl's voice sounded.
"Hello Yueyue, have you finished your homework?" Shen Fang replied with a smile.
"Ah? Is there any holiday homework? Why didn't I know?" Xiao Yueyue quickly ran to Shen Fang and looked at Shen Fang with an innocent face.
As the class teacher, when Shen Fang heard Xiao Yueyue's words, she subconsciously straightened her face and scolded: "What were you doing during class? Didn't you hear what I said?"
"You're kidding, I've finished my homework a long time ago."
Shen Fang was stunned for a moment, then smiled, stretched out her hand and rubbed Xiao Yueyue's head lovingly. This was the first time she had done this, and it was also Xiao Yueyue's first time.
Not once dodged.
"Ah? Teacher Shen, who is this uncle? Is he your brother?"
Xiao Yueyue seemed to have just seen Cao Sizhe at this time. She turned her head and looked at Cao Sizhe with a childlike expression, and then murmured: "You are not old, but you are too ugly. He looks nothing like Teacher Shen."
Cao Sizhe was stunned for a moment, and then the corners of his mouth began to twitch.
Is Cao Sizhe ugly? Of course not, Cao Sizhe is very handsome. From elementary school to now, there are countless girls pursuing him, both at home and abroad. The love letters he receives can be sold for a lot of money.
How could it be ugly?
Shen Fang was amused by Xiao Yueyue's words and wanted to laugh, but when she saw the twitching corner of Cao Sizhe's mouth, she held it back. Xiao Yueyue was indeed Xiao Yueyue, just like her father, so smart and so smart.
It's annoying.
Xu Lang came over at this time, stood opposite Cao Sizhe, stretched out his hand and said, "Hello, Xu Lang."
Cao Sizhe was very well-educated. He also stood up and stretched out his hand to shake Xu Lang's hand. He found some milky white stuff on Xu Lang's hand. He didn't know what kind of stain it was. This made Cao Sizhe frown.
Cao Sizhe has mysophobia, yes, he has had it since he was a child. He stretched out his hand and simply touched Xu Lang's hand with his fingertips. In less than a second, he retracted and said: "Please sit down."
Originally, Cao Sizhe thought that Xu Lang would sit next to him, or in the position between him and Shen Fang. However, he was wrong. Xu Lang sat directly next to Shen Fang.
Cao Sizhe's brows furrowed even more tightly. He picked up the napkin on the table and wiped his right hand while looking at Xu Lang.
I don't know if it was an illusion, but Cao Sizhe smelled a sour smell on Xu Lang's body, as if he hadn't showered for several days. Moreover, the guy had eye mucus on his face, and his fingernails were dark.
Know what it is.
The more Cao Sizhe looked at it, the more uncomfortable he became. What made Cao Sizhe even more uncomfortable was that since Xu Lang and Xiao Yueyue arrived, Shen Fang had ignored him, as if he didn't exist.
"May......"
Cao Sizhe decided to strike first and spoke, but he forgot Xu Lang's name.
"Xu Lang." Xu Lang reminded.
After Shen's mother and Cao's mother left, the waiter brought Western food. However, Shen Fang seemed to have a bad appetite and didn't eat much, and Cao Sizhe didn't eat much either, because in his opinion, the Western food here was too lousy.
It was nothing like Western food, and there was no way to compare it with foreign food. This made it difficult for Cao Sizhe, who was used to eating authentic Western food, to swallow it.
After Xu Lang sat down, he ignored Cao Sizhe's inspection. He directly picked up Shen Fang's tableware and started to feast. The good steak was turned into barbecue by Xu Lang, and the expensive red wine was treated as a drink by the other party.
After drinking it, the most irritating thing is that after drinking a glass of red wine, Xu Lang muttered: "This stuff tastes so bad. It's so sour that it's not as tasty as Coca-Cola."
Cows chewing peonies is vulgar, so vulgar!
Cao Sizhe finally couldn't bear it anymore and asked in a deep voice: "What kind of job does Mr. Xu do?"
"Police." Xu Lang said without raising his head.
Cao Sizhe was stunned for a moment, and then suddenly realized that he was a policeman, a country bumpkin. No wonder he ate so vulgarly and dressed so vulgarly. With the policeman's pitiful salary, a meal here would probably cost them half a meal.
monthly salary.
"What is the relationship between Mr. Xu and Xiaofang? Are they friends?" Cao Sizhe asked again.
"Ah? Oh, she is my partner."
[Object? What an ancient word.]
"I remember Xiaofang doesn't have a boyfriend. When did you confirm your relationship?"
Cao Sizhe's brows were about to furrow into a Sichuan shape, and he was about to reach the limit of his patience, because the guy opposite drank a bottle of red wine worth more than 2,000 yuan as water.
"Well, let me think about it."
Xu Lang frowned and thought, it seemed that he had forgotten when they were together.
"It was the end of last year, you forgot, Dad."
At this moment, Xiao Yueyue suddenly spoke.
【Nani?Dad?】
Cao Sizhe moved his eyes away from Xu Lang and turned to Xiao Yueyue sitting in Shen Fang's arms.
"she is?"
"Xu Yueyue, my daughter."
Xu Lang finished eating and drinking, and casually threw his fork on the plate. Then, he picked up a napkin and wiped his mouth carelessly. Seeing Cao Sizhe's unbelieving expression, he added: "My own."
"You all have children? Why didn't I know?" Cao Sizhe asked, raising his voice.
Xu Lang did not answer the question. He stood up and said to Shen Fang, "Have you finished eating? I went home after eating. The clothes at home haven't been washed yet. I have nothing to wear."
Shen Fang stood up and said to Cao Sizhe: "Well, I'm sorry, I have something to do and I have to leave first."
After saying that, Shen Fang took Xu Lang's arm, and the three of them left in a swaggering manner, leaving a dull-looking Cao Sizhe in a mess at the scene.
In fact, the other diners at Cao Sizhe's place had seen what was going on. When they saw Xu Lang and the others leaving, they looked at Cao Sizhe with strange eyes. They were looking at the mistress.
Cao Sizhe's face was unusually gloomy. He wanted to lift the table, but before he could get angry, the waiter came over.