Caidou's thoughts were firm, just like her steel-like will that she had developed through her martial arts practice.
Regardless of whether the alliance officials acted with emotion or reason, Caidou remained unmoved during the long tug-of-war discussion that lasted several days.
Caidou really figured out what she wanted during the days she stayed behind closed doors.
What she thought before was right, what she wanted was strength and power.
It is self-progress, the sense of accomplishment of climbing a peak with the elves, and the joy of bathing in glory after defeating a powerful enemy.
Fans are everywhere, being sought after, fans singing their names loudly, cheering for themselves fanatically...
Everything you say and do has a huge influence, and even if you don't have the strength, you can still get generous rewards from it.
How to say...
It looks really great. As long as you have fans, you can make a living and be supported by the league forever.
But in that case, what does all the hard work you have done since you were young count?
I got up early before dawn, and when the morning light emerged, I braved the fog and worked hard on the mountain road to practice my skills, exercise, and strengthen my body.
On a hot noon, while others were enjoying the shade under the trees and eating cold desserts to cool off, she was sweating profusely while training with the elves, and even had tentative battles with them.
How many injuries has Caidou suffered?
She couldn't even remember it herself.
I just remember that at that time, I would sometimes roll up my sleeves and see bruises on my hands and arms. After I got home, I would rub them vigorously with the help of medicinal wine.
Every day, I drag my body back home, and under the strict supervision of my parents, I stick to my daily routine. I also have to strictly demand myself in my studies, and I am not allowed to fall behind at all.
For this reason, Caidou also learned to find her own fun in the hard days that others could not endure. For example, after training with Haoli and the others, she picked wild fruits, dug hard at the dug holes, and thought about it.
To find traces of Brother Tulong.
Others envy their bodies and the muscles that complement their bodies and are just right. They also want to have them.
But every time Caidou shared his training methods, these people who wanted to have them disappeared.
Not everyone can endure the hardship she endured.
Caidou's childhood was different from others. She tried her best and climbed to the top starting at that time.
Then this goal seemed to start to skew.
When did it start?
Thinking about it carefully, it seems that I entered the Galar Alliance's field of vision and was selected by them to start recording my life and posting it online.
At that time, I naively thought that this was the first stage of reward for my efforts and that some people began to recognize me.
Later Caidou discovered that it was not the case.
Those who strive to shout for themselves on the sidelines are not praising themselves for their performance and efforts, but just because they match their aesthetics and have characteristics they like.
When there are more and more people like this, it becomes more and more difficult for her to maintain her original ideas, stick to her heart, and do what she thinks she should do.
Not to mention that the Alliance has been trying to make some of its characteristics disappear and completely become the good baby they hope.
Caidou used to be worried and never thought clearly.
She has always been like this, running blindly towards a goal and not giving up until she reaches the goal. As for those things that use her brain, she only suddenly realizes them after she misses them, and then reluctantly admits that she is a little stupid.
This time it was different, Luther woke him up.
That night, Caidou met a person from another realm for the first time.
Huishi, who came with Luther, is the most terrifying opponent Caidou has seen in these years besides her own father.
He didn't use his knees or elbows to attack. He gave up these two extremely damaging parts from the beginning.
His movements are not subtle. At first glance, his shooting posture is like that of an elderly man who lacks explosive power, slow and weak.
However, only Caidou, who faced Gray Stone, understood that she had met a monster.
He didn't move quickly, but he couldn't avoid it.
You don't use your knees because if you are hit, you will be seriously injured.
Restraining the desire to attack with her elbows was giving way to her.
It's not hidden because this is not a life and death fight.
The veteran Interpol who emphasizes defeating the enemy with one strike used a live lesson to tell her what kind of state a person can eventually reach when he continues to hone himself and impose strict demands on himself for decades.
His tricks are back to nature and can be easily interpreted and taught.
But anyone who wants to imitate him and achieve the same effect is wishful thinking.
Caidou used to be very proud of her achievements, and she was particularly proud of being the leader among her peers.
Now that I think about it, it's really ridiculous for me to have that idea.
Maybe I really stand out among my peers, but what does that mean?
Those who have climbed to the highest peak but always look up will find it ridiculous if they occasionally look down and see their complacent expressions on their small achievements, right?
This is not a difference in age or experience.
This is the difference in realm and mentality.
The person who made Caidou understand how big the gap was was Luther.
The age gap between Luther and Caidou is smaller than that of Gray Stone. Their experience, experience, and realm should be similar.
But when Caidou, who had been defeated in martial arts, stood on the playing field and faced Luther, she was shaken.
The Luther standing on the battlefield and the Luther chatting and laughing with you off the field are completely different people.
The intimidating aura erupting from his body seemed to be able to predict his next move, his eyes were insightful into people's hearts, and he was confident in his movements, which was an invisible disdain for his own strength.
All these combinations become a blow to one's own will.
When she lost the first game, Caidou, who never gave up easily, couldn't help but imagine what would happen after the defeat.
When she lost the second game, she was already trying to convince herself that losing to Luther was not a shame.
During the third match, I felt like I was sleepwalking throughout the whole process. Afterwards, I looked at myself as I was extremely excited and trying hard to make a comeback. When I think about it carefully, I found that I was just responding mechanically due to excessive stress, and there was no spirit at all.
Only at the moment when the game ended, Caidou felt that he had "alive".
Because the pressure Luther put on him suddenly disappeared, he smiled and came over to shake his hand, praised himself for playing well, then kept silent about the battle, and exchanged other topics with himself.
It looked like a boring battle, and he couldn't arouse the slightest interest in the whole process.
He came to fight just because he was matched, it was just a matter of routine.
For him, the outcome was determined from the moment of the match. No matter how much he resisted, he could not escape the fate of losing the game.
"The suffocating pressure of the battle makes me want to vomit."
This is Caidou’s summary of Luther’s momentum after the game.
It's like a duel between two martial arts masters. Just a look from one of them can make the other person sweat like rain, so nervous that his limbs will twitch and his performance will be abnormal.
In one day, Caidou lost two duels that he was proud of. Caidou didn't find anything commendable about himself from these two duels.
How ridiculous…
Is this still the self that once shone on the stage?
Since when have you been unable to find your own shining points through review?
Caidou recalled what Luther said when he and she first met.
"You are not suitable for Galar's operating model."
Caidou slowly opened her eyes, and in front of her was the alliance official who had been insisting that she reconsider.
Her eyes were firm and there was no wavering in her eyes.
"I have made up my mind."
"Caidou, we can continue talking about whatever you want. There is no need to settle the matter so quickly."
Sweat broke out on the foreheads of the alliance officials who were trying to win Caidou's heart.
As a star-level young trainer promoted by Galar, Caidou's influence can be imagined. If she left suddenly, people outside would inevitably have their own thoughts.
There was some turmoil within the league because of the tournament and Luther's affairs. Now, isn't it just adding to the chaos?
"What I want, the alliance can't give me."
Caidou said word for word: "I repeat, I am not a product of the alliance."
"I just want to become stronger."
"Can't we become stronger if we continue to be active?" the alliance official asked hurriedly.
"No." Caidou immediately replied, "Because some of you just want to package me well and treat me as an exhibit. You don't want me to have too many other ideas."
"For more than a year, all I have been doing is cooperating with you and trying my best to be an exhibit. You have never cared about what I really want to do or what I want to gain."