We sympathize with Lao Tan's marriage and even hope that he can live with another woman instead of Lin Yan.
When we think about marriage, we often ignore the family. In addition to two adults, a family also includes children. The adults are adults who have experienced the baptism of love and life, and have rich life experience and life experience.
There is nothing wrong with choosing the life you want.
But what about the children?
Divorce and remarriage are just experiences, ending a relationship that has lost its passion and starting another one.
What should I do?
What to do with the children?
I like and love another woman, and put all my passion into it. The two of them are in love with each other, and their love is sweet and sweet. But life is real, and it does not mean that you will live happily together until you have a relationship.
If this were the case, there would be no mention of divorce—whose first marriage was not to the person they loved?
The question is, do children also like women who are not their biological mothers? On the other hand, do women also like their ex-wife's children as much as they like themselves?
Marriage issues are always the focus of debate and morality. I won’t go into details here. From a personal point of view, they need to be faced rationally.
Of course, if two people really can't live together, it's normal for their relationship to break up, and divorce is the right choice. I'm not against divorce here, but I hope that couples can face family life rationally and not divorce if they feel unsatisfactory.
Leaving aside the children, is the new choice the best?
The reason why a man cheats on his wife is not because there are too many temptations outside, but because he is not respected and considerate at home and has lived under ridicule and indifference for a long time.
I once met a man. Before getting married, I got along very well with him. They were a perfect match. In the eyes of people around him, they were a match made in heaven.
There was also a sweet love after marriage, but it only lasted for half a year.
Half a year later, the woman said nervously: "He has something to do outside, and now he is unwilling to go home. Please designate someone."
Question: "Why don't you want to go home?"
The woman said: "I don't know."
Tell her: "There is only one reason why men don't want to go home, and that is that being happy outside means being miserable when going home."
I met the man by chance and he said: "When I was not married, I thought it was pretty good. He was a nice person, good-looking, and reasonable and considerate. After I got married, I found out that I was not marrying my daughter-in-law at all, but the director of the Discipline Inspection Commission. I don't know.
How did it become like this?"
Men get frightened every day after get off work. They have to check their mobile phones first and delete some messages that could easily cause misunderstandings, including WeChat. In fact, these are normal interactions, but women don’t believe me when they say it, and they always make trouble out of nothing.
From the moment he entered the house, his daughter-in-law was first the head of the pre-trial section, and then the director of the examination room. After passing the pre-trial and examination, he was finally sentenced, which left him mentally exhausted and exhausted. The daughter-in-law who used to be beautiful and gentle in his eyes is still beautiful and gentle now.
But there was no trace.
Seeing my daughter-in-law feeling strange makes me feel resistant and bored.
As a result, the two started to have a cold war after half a year of marriage, separated a year later, and divorced a year and a half later.
After the divorce, the daughter regretted it and told people that she had no intention of getting divorced at all. She only cared about her because of love. If she didn't love her, she wouldn't be suspicious.
This love is a bit deformed.
Although the marriage between Lao Tan and Lin Yan is only in name, their family still exists.
Lin Yan can live without Lao Tan, but she cannot live without her son.
The same is true for Lao Tan.
Although the two of them don't care about each other, they both love this family and their son and give without reservation.
Lin Yan's position in Lao Tan's heart is still very important. Although she has lost the gentleness of the past, she once was the woman who did not mind her poverty and followed him resolutely. After so many years of ups and downs, it is not easy.
When you know your own difficulties, you can think of her difficulties. The two of them are rushing forward and working hard for their family and their children. Although there is no passion and less love, they still have a family.
If marriage and family are treated separately, marriage can exist in name only, but family cannot exist because there are still children.
They have a smart, sensible, independent, and lovely eldest son.
For Lao Tan, not only would he not be able to get through the divorce, but his five sisters at home would also have trouble getting through it, as well as his mother. If the old mother knew that he was getting divorced, she would probably become seriously ill. If the old lady died because of
No matter what, besides regretting it, drinking is the worst sin.
Now the relationship with Lin Yan has eased a lot, and they seem to be a normal couple. But Lin Yan has always been disgusted with the two living together as a couple, and it has become a disease.
For Lao Tan, who is physically normal, life without a couple is obviously torture. He is a normal man with needs, and it is not enough to be without the comfort of love for a long time.
But after more than ten years of doing this, I'm used to it.
It’s a cruel habit to say, but what can be done?
Looking for a young lady? A virgin? A lover?
Even if you look for a young lady, you won’t even accept it.
Chu Tiezi is good, but he is often as weak as the national football team at the last moment and escapes first.
I don't even think about having a lover. If that's the case, I might as well be a virgin.
There is no shortage of women around Lao Tan, some of whom are devoted to him.
It is one thing to fall in love with someone, and it is another thing to get along with them. The two cannot be confused.
Lao Tan knows this very well.
Let's take Zhang Li as an example. Strictly speaking, the two of them are inseparable. So far, they have no relationship. They are close friends and will be friends even when they grow old.
But if there is that kind of relationship, the nature will be different immediately.
Not only will it cause embarrassment, but it will also cause emotions.
Humans are emotional animals. It is because of their emotions that they are different from animals. They live at the top of the food chain. However, emotions are the most tormenting. It makes people unable to deal with it and makes them confused. It is painful and painful.
Often when a family is formed again, it will be accompanied by the pain of the breakup of the first family, as well as a series of problems such as raising children, and few can resolve them satisfactorily.
Marriage and family are usually accompanied by relationships between the sexes. It is often the disharmonious sexual life between husband and wife that leads to emotional cheating, and then personal cheating. Driven by primitive desires, they long for tenderness that is not found in the family, so that the soul and body can be satisfied.
This is what people often call extramarital affairs.
Extramarital affairs are also love. Two people love each other, but cannot be together for the rest of their lives. They care about each other in their respective lives and become a lifelong bitter love.
People live in two worlds.
In the emotional world, you can be beautiful, you can be selfish, you can be wild and unconstrained. But the real world is real, and some things in the emotional world cannot survive in the real world, because people can't just think about themselves in life, and they also have the burden of being a human being on their shoulders.
Children, being a wife, a husband, being a parent -------
We don't want to have a stepmother and stepfather, especially if the biological parents still exist, and the same goes for the children.
From another perspective, a happy family is the cornerstone of a career, that's for sure.
When there is a red light in family life, there must be a problem, and the problem must be solved, not avoided.
The problem is always mutual, especially in family life. There is no right or wrong unless it is a matter of principle. The way to solve the problem is not to distinguish right from wrong and find faults with the other party, but to examine yourself.
If you don't change yourself, the problem will never be solved, it can only be deepened.
Let's go back and examine the marriage between Lao Tan and Lin Yan. Both people are responsible for this situation.
Both of them were born in Kuguadanzi. They had no father since childhood and were raised by their mother. The experience of single-parent families and poverty made them sensible early and shoulder the burden of life.
This resulted in their independent personalities and strong bones, as well as their sensitive inferiority complex and strong self-esteem.
The main reason for this situation is the long period of living in two places after having children.
Lao Tan thinks that as long as he earns money and gives the money to Lin Yan, she and her children will not be hungry, and they will have enough to eat and drink. As for being a bit miserable and tired, it doesn't matter, who is the man?
When Lin Yan was with her son, she subconsciously felt that as long as she had a son, everything else didn't matter. The experience of being without a father since she was a child told her that she couldn't let her son be as fatherless as herself.
Seemingly contradictory, yet very unified.
Sometimes she feels that it is the same whether Lao Tan is here or not, that one person can support her son and raise him well. At this time, she will use her mother as an example. My mother raised her and her two younger brothers by herself.
From the time his son was born to now, she has been almost alone in charge. Lao Tan has not been at home for a few days, and even when he is at home, it is almost as if he is not at home. His work determines how well he takes care of his home and his children.
So Lin Yan subconsciously thought that Lao Tan was different. He just needed to give her the money every month and she would take care of everything.
In addition, there has been no married life for a long time, and all the attention is focused on the children. The psychological changes lead to physical imbalance and boredom in behavior.
Also, she is doing very well in cold chain logistics. She has been promoted from employee to department manager, and her monthly income is no less than that of Lao Tan.
She works smoothly, earns a lot of money, is strong, and always controls the financial power of the family. She has a posture of being above everything else. Of course, this does not mean bullying others, but it strengthens her independence.
The same is true for Lao Tan. They are two identical people. It's just that Lao Tan is five years older than her. In addition, he has always been in management and training, and he is more comprehensive and thoughtful in handling problems.
What Lin Yan is going through is something he has already experienced, so he knows how to deal with it.
Don't argue, don't say much.
As a couple, there is nothing right or wrong.
I don't do as much for my family and children as Lin Yan, so I speak less.
Whenever I think of Lin Yan living alone with her children for six years, and still doing so now, I feel guilty and feel sorry for others. It is normal for others to treat me this way.
Although they signed a divorce agreement in anger four years ago and lived a life where no one cared about anyone else, they were still a family. Moreover, after the agreement was signed, neither of them mentioned it again, as if it didn't happen.
To put it bluntly, it was just a conflict between husband and wife, and the past was over.
Now the two of them have no problem financially, with a monthly income of over 10,000 yuan. The family looks like a family, and it is a good life.
My son is well-behaved and sensible. He is among the best in studies. He has grown taller since he started playing basketball. He is already over 1.6 meters tall and looks like he will grow to 1.8 meters.
Alas, man, I am satisfied.
Life always goes on with a smile and gets better and better.