Asuka, I am not very good at expressing myself.

Super, super bad at it.

When I was in junior high school, every year the school would divide students into classes by taking exams. When they transferred to a new class, students would always have to stand at the front desk one by one to introduce themselves, which was troublesome and trivial. I hated this very much, because once I stood on the podium and looked at the audience

With so many students, I would be so nervous that my brain would go blank and I would not know what to say.

I failed several times. Most of the time I just hurriedly dropped my name and ran back to my seat.

"Asuka is so timid," my mother would laugh at me on the way home from school, a slightly comforting smile, "Even if there are people you don't know, they will be your future classmates, so there is no need to be afraid."

"But, I can't control myself at all." At that time, I was sitting on the back seat of my mother's bicycle, swinging my feet briskly, imagining myself riding on the wind and soaring in the air. Okay, I admit it,

This is indeed a bit difficult. I'm not talking about stepping on the wind, but imagining it.

"Asuka, haven't you made any friends you can go home with?"

"..."

"Asuka?"

"This kind of thing can't be rushed." I muttered, but in fact I didn't make any efforts in this direction.

"That's right."

My mother did not pursue this issue in detail, but asserted in a very gentle tone: "You will definitely encounter Asuka in the future."

"What?"

"A friend who makes you want to get close to you and want to be with you every day. At that time, Feiniao, you have to be more proactive, otherwise you will be snatched away by others soon."

At that time, it was difficult for me to understand that there would be such a person around me, because for me, the person who felt most at ease when I was around was my mother.

Now I may have to add another one. It’s the fifth update.

Apart from my mother, she is the first person who can make me feel a sense of security. Although I have only met her a few times and have not spoken to her for a few words, I am treated with kindness, but surprisingly there is no doubt that she is there.

A sense of distrust about plotting something.

That scarf was like a seal imposed on me, locking all my skepticism and conspiracies deep into my heart, making it impossible to escape.

What kind of magic power does that girl named Wu Geng Shi Xiao have that can create such gentle but profound ripples in people's hearts? I kept thinking about this issue on the way back. I thought about making an order for her.

She was labeled as "The Devil's Girl".

That kind of person must be a natural talent, similar to some kind of talent, which does not even require much training. It suddenly appears at a certain moment and makes waves.

When I got home, my mother naturally asked me about the origin of the scarf around my neck. I answered stumblingly at that time, maybe because I didn’t want to admit that I, who had always been known as the “lonely bird”, would actually do it for such a trivial matter.

I feel so excited inside. It would be too embarrassing to say it out loud.

"Oh ho~" Mom's rather playful expression seemed to see through my heart, which made me feel uncomfortable. Only then did I realize that the guy asked me to go home and tell her that I was safe.

Although I found it troublesome, at least the other party cared about her, and it was really not good to leave her alone like this. So I made a call out of mercy.

"Asuka?"

"Ah... well, I, I'm home!" I almost bit my tongue. The scene when she helped me put on the scarf subconsciously appeared in my mind. I felt as nervous as introducing myself in front of the whole class.

But I have overcome this shortcoming tomorrow morning, and participating in the audition in Nogizaka is the biggest proof.

"That's good." The other person seemed to be relieved.

"That's all I said, I...I'm dead!"

I hung up the phone in a hurry, a little annoyed at my weak attitude. It was just a phone call, why should I be so nervous.

That guy was an enemy. I thought so at the time. He was an enemy who tried to destroy my peaceful state of mind. He was a stumbling block on the way forward in my life, so I had to overcome him. Face difficulties and overcome them. This is my destiny.

life attitude.

After that, by returning scarves and borrowing novels, the relationship with Wu Geng gradually improved, and his attitude became more and more arrogant.

Thinking about it now, maybe I already liked Wu Geng at that time.

Otherwise, how could we come to such a ridiculous conclusion that Wu Geng is an enemy or something like that.

Everyone calls it good, little flying bird, little flying bird, I am like a child, holding on to childish self-esteem and pride, unwilling to compromise with the true feelings in my heart. I obviously want to get close to Wu Geng, but I find such a crappy person.

The reason is like that of elementary school students. If they like each other, they will cause disputes and attract attention.

That should be the happiest period, not aware of one's own thoughts, holding on to ambiguous emotions, just fighting and bickering with each other and feeling happy in the heart.

I like Wu Geng, I like Nishino, I like Nana Min, I like Ikoma, I like Minoru, I like the Gokoma group, I like Ikuta, I like Hika, I like Mai, I like the members, I like everything about Nogizaka. Now.

I can honestly say that.

Is there any difference between these preferences? Who cares about this problem? The same words, the same pronunciation, and even the strokes are the same.

If it hadn't been for Na Jiang's sudden kiss, I wouldn't have known that there would be such a huge difference in the same words applied to different people.

I gradually began to examine my relationship with Wu Geng.

During the recording of the show, I was teased by Nanamin and liked to cling to Wu Geng. I could respond well before, but since that kiss, I occasionally think of some messy things, which seem to be scattered in the room.

Crystals, shining with brilliant illusions, only look beautiful, but they actually cause me a lot of trouble. I'm serious.

I couldn't carry out my determination to regard Wu Geng as my enemy as before, even though it was just deceiving myself. After the show, I hid in the toilet cubicle and tried my best to deny my feelings, but accidentally

I heard Wu Geng say that he likes me.

How can this not make people think too much?

How does Shouwu Geng view me? Is the kind of love she talks about like Na-chan the same kind of love?

I don't know, I can't figure it out.

I think of Hika, the one who vaguely showed a tit-for-tat attitude towards Na-chan on Valentine's Day.

Does Riyaka also like Wu Geng, like Na-chan?

I suddenly envy them because they are so clear about their feelings, know what they want, and what they hope to get. But Asuka and I are still confused.

Therefore, when Na-chan asked me about the information about Wu Geng, I almost didn’t hesitate to tell Na-chan what I knew. When I was in UG, I had a good relationship with Hika, and all the members knew about it.

I didn't speak out about my guesses, but occasionally revealed some information I had gleaned. I also told Na-chan about the first date between Riyaka and Shouwugeng.

I knew it was bad to do this, so I felt a little regretful the moment I said it. What did I want by doing this? I couldn’t even figure out whether I really liked it.

Ikuta taught me that these are not issues that we can interfere with.

This is a matter between the three of us, Hikaru Gogenna-chan. Ikuta probably wanted to express this.

I had a vague feeling of being excluded and lonely.

Now that they understand what they like, they must have left me far behind.

This is so unfair.

Although Ikuta said he was mature, in fact, she was extremely panicked, fearing that Hinaka would be abducted in the middle of the night. Believe me, I can see it. Ikuta is also on the other side, but she hasn't noticed it yet.

I was eager to find out the true nature of this relationship, and kept looking for opportunities. Finally, I asked on location in Kagoshima, but the result was that Hika had given up the fight.

Why, this is a love for someone, not the kind of love that can be said casually, but a deeper and more substantial love. How could Riyaxiang give up like this?

Bird, I want to know, I want to know the reason for all this, I want to know the causes and consequences of all this, I want to know where I will go in the future while my mind is still ambiguous.

But Riyaxiang didn't tell me the answer. She just said that she could solve her own problems by herself. Such irresponsible words.

If it could be solved so easily, I wouldn't care so much about Hikari.

When we were leaving, outside the airport, I was deeply impressed by the look in Nikka's eyes that seemed to have something to say. If I could have understood the specific information contained in that look at that time, maybe I wouldn't be like this now.

situation.

I'm not good at expressing myself.

Therefore, at the moment when he realized his true feelings, he decisively left Wu Geng where he was and fled from the game hall.

I always thought that I was just prone to stage fright, not used to speaking in front of people in formal situations, or that I was not fully prepared for the incident. In fact, this was not the case at all.

I'm just not good at telling the truth to myself.

I want to make friends with everyone. After I stood on the podium, all I had to do was say this, but I hesitated and involuntarily concealed my truest intentions.

That's right.

Asuka, I am not very good at expressing myself. Super, super bad at it.

I am afraid to express my good intentions clearly, and I am afraid of the embarrassment and silence after being rejected. Therefore, before others reject me, I will reject myself first.

This is much simpler and easier. It takes courage to express your feelings, but it only takes a thought to deny yourself.

This may be a misunderstanding. This is not the case. There may be other explanations. Isn't there a possibility of misunderstanding...

However, these are just the growing feathers of a young bird. They are the armor I use to protect myself. They cover my body in layers and have absorbed countless injuries for me so far.

Once this armor is shattered, I will be at a loss what to do and will only use tears and apologies to make the shallowest and most helpless way to make amends.

Because Asuka Saito really likes the night before midnight.
Chapter completed!