I don’t know how long that feeling lasted—difficulty breathing. I couldn’t escape. My eyes were dodging. Only now did I realize that I was still unwilling to accept the facts in front of me. It’s strange that I always wanted to make myself I have become free and easy, I have become able to take things and let them go, but I always thought that I had nothing to do with the past. When I faced it head-on, I felt like a deserter again. I lost the courage I had imagined before and became no longer so brave.

Yuyue and Jingxue, one on the left and the other on the right, listened attentively to my talk about the bad things in the past. Of course, I didn't say much, and every time I deliberately brought the topic into their lives. But they seemed to also There is nothing to say, daily life is very free, and there is a lot of time to arrange by yourself. The sea is vast, whether it floats or sinks, it is completely under your control. In their lives, no one checks whether their quilts are lumps of tofu. Whether the sheets are wrinkled or not, no one forces them to run three kilometers within twelve and a half minutes, no one requires them not to fail the exam, no one collects their mobile phones, no one restricts their going out... It all depends on myself, whether I can be self-disciplined. I even suspect that I am not going to college, but just a high school with more strict requirements.

Then, when the time was almost up, my classmates also came in one after another. After everyone came in, they greeted each other, asked how they were doing, then buried their heads and watched the wonderful world on their mobile phones. .This makes me very unnatural. Maybe I am used to the days without mobile phones. I originally thought that everyone could talk about their lives and look forward to a bright future together, but they seemed not interested in these and were only worried about themselves. I only care about which cinema will release the new blockbuster after I come back. Everyone seems to have become strangers. This gives me the illusion that we haven’t been separated for a long time.

Only Jingxue and Yuyue have been chatting with me. Yes, they are the only ones who talk a lot to me. What about the others? Like I said, they asked me about my life and sympathized with me. From now on, there is nothing more to say.

After a while, I received the news that the teachers couldn't come, which made me very disappointed. I originally thought that this weird atmosphere would be slightly relieved after the teachers came, but now the teachers can't come, so what? The class reunion was meaningless. I had no choice but to tell everyone the news. They seemed a little unhappy, and most of them hurried over because they wanted to see the teacher and save the time to go to school later. Now that the teacher can't come, why are we still here? I understand what the students are thinking, so I can only try my best to hold them back. I decided to go singing together after dinner, which stabilized their emotions.

The menu came, and I asked each of them to order a dish for this party. Some people ordered what they like to eat, and some people ordered what their friends who play well like to eat, and in order to take the overall situation into consideration, I ordered I chose some staple food and drinks that they had not chosen. When the food came, I raised my wine glass, holding a glass full of juice in my hand, stood up, and said a lot of words to my classmates after a long separation, and they also They all stood up like me, and at the end, I suddenly shouted what I shouted when the troops often had dinner together, "One! Two! Three! Do it! Do it!"

Do it!" What's more embarrassing is that I was the only one who yelled like a fool. The others first looked at each other, and then burst into laughter, saying that I was a fool for being a soldier. Did I think I was still in the army? I had no choice but to do it.

I smiled sheepishly, but there was an indescribable sadness and discomfort in my heart.

After sitting down, I tried my best to make the atmosphere at the dinner table less awkward and looked for some interesting topics. But when I opened my mouth, I realized that they didn’t understand what I said, and I didn’t understand what they said.

Di, boom party, I don’t understand what all this means. They don’t understand what bubbling is. When one person is sick and the whole family takes medicine, they don’t understand why I want to buy an MP3 player. They can only be embarrassed and awkward when they don’t understand each other.

Smile politely and nod.

I originally thought it was something to be proud of, but now I can't express it. It seems that each of their lives is more exciting than mine. My life, except shooting, has become nothing to say. It's very difficult.

Soon, the meal was over. I ran to check out and distributed the bill to the class. My classmates also gave me their equal share. Some students didn't like the excitement, so they left with excuses.

There were only a dozen people singing.

When we arrived at the KTV, everyone was still like that, requesting songs one after another, and singing loudly when it was their turn. I, the former KTV barbarian, now changed my position and sat on the side of the sofa. This time, I deliberately talked to Jingxue and the others

Sit down, they are on the other end of the sofa. Just like this, quietly listening to the songs they ordered, my body swaying left and right according to the beat of the music. Now I don’t seem to like to be in the limelight anymore, I just like to be an audience, Ann

Quiet and quiet, never crazy and never disturbing. Listening to their happy voices and seeing their happy faces, I followed the joy and happiness.

Until Jingxue ordered me a song called "My Deskmate" and "Anheqiao", my heart suddenly couldn't calm down. I used the excuse that I had lost my voice while shouting slogans, and singing was no longer my strong point, but I had no choice.

Other students also wanted to hear my singing, but couldn't resist everyone's enthusiasm, so I had no choice but to take over the microphone and transform from an audience member to the lead singer.

The first song "You at the same table".

Will you remember tomorrow

The diary you wrote yesterday

Will you miss me tomorrow?

You used to cry the most

...

Who married you who is sentimental?

Who comforts you who loves to cry?

Who tied up your long hair?

Who made your wedding dress?

I know that this time, I lost again, because every lyric of this song is trying to peel off all the hidden things in my heart layer by layer, and display them bloodyly in front of everyone. I tried my best.

I don’t want to let myself sing so emotionally and vividly, but I just can’t control it.

The second song "Anhe Bridge".

...

Let me have another taste of autumn wine

Keep driving south, it won't take long

Let me listen to the most beautiful line again

You're home, I'm waiting for you

...

I know, those summers

Just like youth, there is no coming back,

Instead of dreaming, we can only do it with difficulty.

I know, this world

There are too many regrets every day

So hello and bye!

So hello, bye, bye...

Sorry, I broke my promise again. Did I promise to act cool? In the end, I wasn’t completely defeated. It was just two songs that made me lose completely. How dare you say that you don’t care? Then why did you sing a song?

Can I cry even when I sing? She knows too much and knows where my weak points are. Even if I am wearing thick armor, she can still find the gaps between my armors and stab the vital part with a knife. My defense is in her

It’s useless in front of you!

The tears that I had originally held back slowly slipped from the corners of my eyes just after the second song ended. For a moment, I didn’t know whether I was singing on the stage two years ago or in a KTV box with the spotlight shining on my face.

The stage was crowded with people, but I couldn't find her figure under the stage. A song sung for her conveyed my desolate and lonely youth.

This time, she was less than two meters away from me, sitting there, listening to the song quietly, from the beginning to the end. I don’t understand why she asked me to sing these, she just sat there

, I couldn’t see her face clearly, I only saw her holding her chin gently with one hand, and putting the other hand on her leg, listening to me sing the last note very calmly. Maybe she didn’t notice.

My expression was like I couldn't see her face clearly either. Under the dim light, the truest emotions in our hearts were covered.

I don't understand, and I don't want to understand. Because no one knows the story of "Anhe Bridge", and no one knows why six-thirty comes. It's like a secret language between us, but I don't want to guess anymore, no matter her

No matter how I think about it, I don't want to put in all the effort. Although I feel uncomfortable, I admit it, but I don't want to let myself go down the same old path again. Those who are self-motivated will definitely fail, and it will be very miserable.

Yes, how much you love it will hurt you in the end. I loved so much that I even forgot to love myself and pay for myself. I wrote and directed a youth drama. It was extremely stupid! This one

It's a big drama, but it doesn't have many viewers or box office, and the protagonist's ending is unresolved. It's really stupid.

But what was my fault? At that time, I was just a boy in love. Just because I had a dream that I shouldn't have, I suddenly had to pay such a heavy price, leaving myself bruised and exhausted both physically and mentally.

That day, Jingxue and the others, as well as Yuyue, left after listening to the two songs.

Later, I received Jingxue's first WeChat message since I went to college, "I heard you sing these two songs, but I didn't give up this time."

I raised my head, smiled slightly, and didn't reply. In fact, I wanted to say that I don't want to dwell on the past anymore. I have shed enough tears for you and have finished them. The tears that crossed the corners of my eyes are now shed for me.

Since no one sheds tears for me, then I will shed tears for myself. I am not afraid of others laughing at me or anything else. At least so far, I have a clear conscience.
Chapter completed!