Here’s the second update. I was really busy at work today and didn’t start until after work, so it’s late. Please give me a pink thumbs up and a recommendation vote.
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Lu Yan threw the lantern in his hand to the ground, grabbed Lin Jinrong's sleeve covering his face, gritted his teeth and said, "What do you really want?"
Lin Jinrong struggled desperately not to let him look at her face, but Lu Yan kept pulling at her, as if she had a deep grudge against the sleeve: "You have a guilty conscience, don't you dare to look at me?"
Even though the disparity in strength was too great, Lin Jinrong still refused to give in. The sleeves were only lightly woven, how could they withstand such tearing, but after just three or two blows, a section of them tore off with a "stab" sound. Both of them were startled.
Stunned, Lu Yan grabbed a sleeve in his hand and felt a little confused. Lin Jinrong was the first to react and turned around to run away. Lu Yan stopped her and hugged her, dragging her into Tingxue Pavilion.
A bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, and large raindrops fell. There was a strong earthy smell in the air. Lin Jinrong's face was wet. She didn't know whether it was rain or tears, and she was picking at it like crazy.
Lu Yan's hand kicked him hard. Lu Yan didn't say a word, and held her tight while gasping for breath.
A loud thunder exploded, and the rain poured down like a pouring water. In an instant, the sky and the earth were filled with vastness. The wind blew the rain and mist, making their clothes wet. Lin Jinrong was no match for Lu Yan after all, and was dragged back by him.
Tingxue Pavilion.
Lu Yan threw himself against the door, not caring to wipe the rain off his face, and said in a hoarse voice: "Let's make it clear today!"
Half of Lin Jinrong's arms were exposed, and her wet clothes stuck to her body. She felt that her whole body was cold and sore, and she was shaking into a ball uncontrollably. Her upper teeth were clicking against her lower teeth, and she couldn't say a word.
There was only one night lamp lit in Tingxue Pavilion. The light was dim and deserted, but it was enough to see people clearly. Lu Yan leaned against the door and looked at Lin Jinrong tiredly. She frowned tightly and her face was as white as paper.
His eyes were fixed on his toes, and his hands were alternately covering his chest. His waist and back were straight, and even his legs were stretched straight. His hair had already been half scattered, and a few strands were hanging down, wet.
It was stuck to her face and neck, and the clothes were still dripping. It was pitiful, hateful, and disgusting.
Lu Yan felt that his whole heart was filled with resentment and sorrow, and he just wanted to vent it out at all costs, asking her loudly, why did she treat him like this? Why did she trample on his sincerity like this? She asked him to say whatever he wanted.
Tell her, how did she treat him? Thinking of the worries and tensions these days, he felt more and more like a joke. He stared at Lin Jinrong desperately, staring until his eyeballs were sore and his eyelids were sore.
He was cramping and stubbornly refused to blink.
Lin Jinrong's mind was in a mess. She knew that Lu Mian was staring at her, but besides standing upright with a firm posture, she couldn't think of anything else, and she didn't know how to deal with it, so she waited in silence.
He spoke.
A window was not closed tightly and was blown open by the wind, making a "pop" sound. Lin Jinrong was shocked. The wind blew out the dim lamp. She shivered in excitement and couldn't control it.
A sneeze.
Lu Yan breathed out gently and moved his sore eyes: "Why?"
Lin Jinrong was blown by the cold wind and gradually calmed down. There were many reasons, but how should she answer? Tell him that she had lost her only child before, and might lose it again? She had once drowned alone in the cold river? Tell him.
Did he never see him when she needed him most? Tell him that she might die unexpectedly one day?
Tell him again, since she was reborn, for more than half a year, she has been struggling between life and death in her dreams every day. Every time she thinks of him, it feels like a sharp knife is stabbing her heart. Countless times of self-denial, countless times of rebuilding confidence, but...
When a new life is about to begin, you are pushed into the quagmire by your family? The saddest thing in life is this. You clearly know the outcome and struggle with all your strength, but you still watch yourself sinking inch by inch.
She tried her best to temporarily strive for a life different from her previous life, but she never dared to forget her previous life - in this life, she used what she knew in her previous life to avoid the disaster and pain of this life. If she
If she doesn't work hard, she will have a miserable ending in her previous life. Mr. Shui told her to think about the good in everything, and she also thought that when it came to other things, it was fine with other people, but with him, she just couldn't get over that threshold.
.
She originally wanted to spend these five years with him peacefully, and it would not matter whether they were dead or alive by then, but things still didn't go as she thought. They still had to break up. Gu Xun was replaced by a purse, and Ning'er's death
It's replaced by elixirs. Anyway, it's either this or that matter. Advance or postpone it. That hurdle will always have to be passed, and it can't be avoided.
"Why don't you say anything?" Lu Yan pressed harder and harder. Since she wouldn't even respond, he had to get an answer today.
Lin Jinrong coughed lightly and whispered: "Because I can't find anything to say. Unless you want to hear lies." There was a sound of wind and rain outside the window. She didn't hear Lu Yan make a sound, so she continued: "Continuous
Heirs are the responsibilities that a wife should fulfill. If I haven't fulfilled it, you can divorce me and I will never complain." At this point, she actually felt a lot more relaxed.
It was deathly silent. It was as if even the sound of wind and rain had disappeared in an instant, and even Lu Mian's breathing was too soft to be heard.
For a long time, Lu Jianfang whispered: "Why? What did I do wrong?"
What did he do wrong? Lin Jinrong felt extremely dizzy, and after a long time he said, "No reason."
But Lu Yan suddenly exploded. He relied on his intuition and accurately found Lin Jinrong in the dark. He grabbed her shoulders tightly, lowered his voice and gritted his teeth and said, "You told me not to hide anything in your heart."
, I did it, why can’t you do it? Tell me clearly! Tell me clearly! Why do you treat me like this? Why? Why am I sorry for you? Am I not good enough to you? What do you want? What do you want to do?
"
Lin Jinrong didn't speak. At this point, she still couldn't say any vicious words.
Lu Yan's hand on her shoulder became tighter and tighter, and his voice was as rough as sandpaper, with a certain kind of madness: "If you don't want to say it, I will say it for you, you have never had me in your heart. You
Marry unwillingly..."
"Yes!" Is he going to slam the shit basin on her head again? Lin Jinrong was forced to have no way out, and all the guilt disappeared, and he simply shouted out: "I just can't bear to marry.
I wish! Look at the life I lived after I got married. There is no good person in your family! Apart from being able to scheme, bully, be greedy for money, domineering, and selfish, what else do you know? Why do you want me to have no complaints?
Will I be a mother to your family without any regrets? I will give my best to you and then die? How good is your family to me? Tell me, please? Give birth, even if you give birth, how can you be as vicious as a wolf and a tiger?
Can you keep it? And you, don’t think I don’t know that you have been suspicious of me and Wu Xiang! Even now, you are still suspicious, right? Don’t deny it! If you are a man, don’t deny it. If you dare to deny it, I despise it.
you!"
Her words were like a sharp knife thrust into Lu Yan's chest, pulling out his deepest and most shameful thoughts.
Lu Yan took a deep breath, and the strength on his hand became lighter. Lin Jinrong slapped his hand away: "I am not as good as others, and if I don't try hard to surpass others, I will only avoid jealousy and suspicion of others all day long. Don't
Tell me you didn't do anything, you are upright, but your thoughts are dirty!"
Seeing that Lu Yan was silent, Lin Jinrong straightened his clothes and prepared to go out. He could stand here as long as he wanted, and she wouldn't accompany him! As soon as he opened the door, the rain and mist was swept by the wind, blowing her away.
She almost lost her breath. After the initial moment of courage, she no longer had the courage to rush into the rain to soak in the rain, so she retreated and looked around for flint to light the lamp. But it was not her place, so she spent a long time looking for it.
She didn't find it either. Instead, she was hit by a chair on her calf bone. The pain made her grimace and she became angrier and kicked the chair.
Lu Yan looked at each other coldly and said nothing.
Lin Jinrong was so angry that he grabbed the chair and sat down.
The rain had subsided a little, and Lychee's shout came from outside: "Grandma? Second Master? Are you still in there? I'll bring you umbrellas and oil coats."
"Lizhi, I'm still here." Lin Jinrong seemed to have seen reinforcements. He stood up and straightened his hair. He planned to go outside. After taking two steps, he felt that his right arm was empty and cold, so he asked Lu Yan
: “Where are my sleeves?”
Lu Yan ignored her.
Lin Jinrong held it in for a while and then said: "I ask where you pulled my sleeves?"
The lights were getting brighter and brighter, and Li Zhi's footsteps were getting closer and closer. Lu Yan snorted coldly: "You dare to do that kind of self-harm, and you want me to divorce you, what else do you want to do with your sleeves? Are you afraid?
What? You should go out like this, so that people know that you are not afraid of anything and dare to do anything. Since I want to divorce you, how can I care whether you are embarrassed or not? "
Lin Jinrong was speechless for a moment and wanted to strangle him to death.
"Grandma?" Lychee knocked on the door gently, Lu Mian stood still, and Lin Jinrong opened the door with a stern face. Standing at the door were Lychee and Dou'er, who were frightened when they saw her embarrassed look.
He exclaimed in his mouth, covered his mouth suddenly, and looked at Lu Mian in fear, full of suspicion and fear.
With a gloomy face, Lu Yan stepped forward to take the oil coat from Dou'er's hand, and strode into the rain without waiting for her master or servant, let alone a lantern.
Lizhi grabbed Lin Jinrong's hand before he could go far and asked anxiously: "Grandma, what's going on?"
"I can't explain it in just a few words." Lin Jinrong smoothed his hair and found that two hairpins were missing. "Take a lantern and go outside to look for it. I'm afraid I might have lost it."
Lychee winked at Dou'er and signaled Dou'er to take the lantern and go outside. She gently supported Lin Jinrong's arm and said carefully with tears in her eyes: "Grandma, did the second master hit you?"
Lin Jinrong shook his head gently: "No. Just let me look for it here, don't let it fall into the hands of others."
--*--nonsense--*--
1700+ in April
My understanding of the character Lin Jinrong is that in the eyes of others, the past life and the future life are two completely different things. To her, she has experienced it personally and is unforgettable. But she has never lost her humanity and taken revenge madly because of hatred, nor has she.
I give up on myself because of this, but I keep working hard. I feel that it is not easy to achieve this.
As for the rest, it requires accumulation and process. Knowing and doing are two different things. People's biggest enemy is often themselves. People will make mistakes because their personalities and visions are different, and the mistakes they make are also different. Love and hate are just a difference in thought.
, she and Lu Mian both need space and opportunities to grow, and need more understanding and tolerance for each other.
If she suddenly forgets the past, lets go of everything, and devotes herself to it, I can't write it, and I think it's inhumane. I want this turn to be more natural. She needs time and needs to broaden her horizons.
Thank you everyone for reading my nonsense and watching the marriage with tolerance. Thank you (To be continued. If you like this work, you are welcome to come to Qidian () to vote for recommendations and monthly votes. Your support is my biggest motivation.)