"I know, this is not an easy task." Ji Shuang put down the cup in her hand and said calmly.
Perhaps in the eyes of ordinary people, saying something does not seem to be difficult, but from the perspective of a patient, this is not the case. The reason why psychological defects can evolve into a morbid disorder is largely due to long-term self-isolation and emotional isolation.
Depressed, excessive lack of communication.
It takes courage to allow a person who has been self-isolated for a long time to expose the sensitivity and fragility that he has buried deep in his heart.
Ji Shuang has been exposed to too many cases like this, and she has also seen too many people like Ye Jin, who seem to be extremely strong and powerful, but are so fragile on the inside.
At the moment, Ji Shuang feels that this is a good opportunity for treatment, because when you face someone you like, you always have more courage and motivation to change.
"Why don't you want to tell her?"
The chat continues.
After a long time, Ye Jin gently opened her lips, "I'm afraid she will be disappointed."
"Afraid that she will be disappointed, afraid that she won't understand you, afraid that she won't get the results you want, right?" Ji Shuang said bit by bit. She knew about the relationship between Ye Jin and Yizhen, and Yizhen had once
Some of the words he said undoubtedly aggravated Ye Jin's closed mentality.
Ye Jin took a deep breath and said, "Yes."
"Do you mind telling me about your affairs?"
"Yeah." Only in Ji Shuang could Ye Jin confess without any burden. She told Ji Shuang some things between her and Xia An.
Due to long-term psychological barriers, Ye Jin had low self-esteem and refused to take the initiative to pursue relationships. After experiencing her relationship with Yizhen, she even decided that she was suitable to live alone.
With this thought, over time, she became accustomed to being alone.
Stop thinking about love and marriage.
Just not thinking about it anymore doesn’t mean you don’t want to, but it’s a passive and helpless compromise when facing reality.
Ye Jin's state of affairs that had been maintained for many years was broken because of Xia An's appearance.
It started with a ridiculous fake marriage, and a girl named Xia An began to enter her life little by little.
Her idea of Xia An may have started from that parent-child activity in the kindergarten. It was like a fake show, she really regarded Xia An as her wife, and she thought Xia An should be the same, because Xia An
An kept holding her hand and calling her "wife" in a natural and serious manner.
So much so that when she got home that night, Ye Jin didn't even come out of that scene. She still remembers that when Xia An acted coquettishly and asked her to carry her on her back, she didn't think about it and just carried Xia An back to her bedroom. That day, she entered
The play is very deep.
Ye Jin admitted that Xia An aroused her long-suppressed desire for love and marriage.
"Such a wonderful girl, no wonder you are attracted to her." Ji Shuang listened to Ye Jin and then reminded her with a smile, "You laughed seven times when you talked about her just now."
"Have it?"
"Yes." Ji Shuang affirmed. She could tell from Ye Jin's micro-expressions when she narrated that Ye Jin was eager for feelings. Because of the long-term lack of feelings and self-repression, she would even be more eager than ordinary people.
But even so, Ye Jin still hesitates when facing the person he likes.
Ji Shuang naturally understands Ye Jin's hesitation. It's like something she has always longed for suddenly appears around her. She naturally wants to possess it, but at the same time she is afraid of losing it.
And even if there is the same result between starting from nothing and starting from nothing, the latter is often more difficult to accept, because the latter will create a gap, just like if you lift a person up and then fall down, it will hurt even more.
Therefore, the hesitation is because the subconscious is afraid of this gap.
Focusing so much on results that the most important process is overlooked.
"Then what do you think is more important between two people, the result or the process?"
Ye Jin had not thought about this issue before. After hearing Ji Shuang ask this question, she thought about it and said, "The latter."
Ji Shuang was very pleased to receive such an answer, "Yes, the process is far more important than the result. It is a process for two people to come together, understand each other, and accompany each other. What really makes you happy is also the process. So, don't you feel that you
Should more attention be paid to the process?”
Ye Jin was thoughtful.
"Are you happy when you are with her?"
Ye Jin thought of their embrace in the snow, and how Xia An shamelessly leaned into her arms more than once on the bed.
Also, when Xia An told her that I had someone I liked, he blushed and secretly held her hand tightly, smiling at her...
Ye Jin's expression softened, and the corners of his mouth slightly raised, "Happy."
"I can feel it when I hear you talking about her."
Ye Jin smiled slightly again, but it was fleeting.
"Let's go back to the previous question. You are afraid that after you confess, the other party will not be able to understand and accept it. But have you ever thought about how you always avoid concealing it, so how can the other party have a chance to understand and accept it?" Ji Shuang asked back,
After a pause, he continued, "Only sincerity can win sincerity, communication is necessary."
Ye Jin also remembered what Xia An said to herself, that two people should be honest when they are together.
"You said you want to wait until your situation improves before you give her an answer. Your willingness to change for her is a good start, and I understand that you don't want to disappoint her. But change takes time, and you can't just say nothing.
Just let her wait for your results. Have you considered her feelings? It is very hard to like someone but not get a response."
"I understand..." Ye Jin also felt that this was unfair to Xia An. She kept asking Xia An to give her time, but never gave the other party a reasonable explanation.
Ye Jin still had concerns in her eyes, and Ji Shuang knew exactly what the source of her concerns was.
"Spiritual fit is more important than physical fit. Although there are things you can't do now, you can at least let her know that you are willing to change for her. This is a good response."
Mental fit is more important than physical fit.
Ye Jin lowered his eyes to look at the tea leaves sinking in the bottom of the cup and murmured, "Should I tell her..."
It seems more like asking myself.
"If you really like someone, you will not only appreciate the other person's advantages, but also be patient and tolerant of the other person's shortcomings. If you think this girl is worthy of your love and want to be with her, you should be more honest with her and treat her as much as possible.
Trust me and let her know you better, no matter your strengths or weaknesses."
Every time I come to Jishuang, Ye Jin has gained more or less, perhaps more clearly.
As a psychiatrist, Ji Shuang can only provide guidance. The final key to success or failure lies with the patient himself. She has taken on many cases, and not all of them were successful.
Just like Ye Jin, Ji Shuang doesn't know when he will be able to help her completely overcome the obstacles in her heart.
She talked a lot to Ye Jin today, and maybe Ye Jin agreed with her a little, but Ji Shuang knew that it would still take time for Ye Jin to really do it.
Psychotherapy is a long and complicated process.
Ye Jin and Ji Shuang talked for a full two hours. When she stood up to leave, Ji Shuang teased her in a relaxed tone, "Don't let her wait too long. Are you willing to make her suffer?"
Ji Shuang just joked, but Ye Jin thought of Xia An's frustrated and aggrieved look, and her heart felt like it was being pulled.
Before taking two steps, Ye Jin only heard Ji Shuang saying loudly behind him,
"Come on, Mr. Ye!"
Ye Jin turned around and smiled, "I know."
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