When Ye Jin walked out of the restaurant, snow started to fall in the sky again.
I always feel that this year's winter is longer than in the past, probably because it is calm and the recurring days are more fleeting, just like the six years before I met Xia An, so long passed without realizing it.
Valentine's Day is coming, and the atmosphere on the street is getting stronger and stronger. The boy is wrapping the girl in a loose coat to keep warm, and the girl is smiling and acting coquettishly with her head raised. For most couples, winter is an ambiguous season.
Ye Jin stood silently on the street, seeing the tender scene, her expression remained unchanged, but her mind wandered far away. Thinking of the night when she went to the dormitory to pick up Xia An home, Xia An also smiled and coquettishly fell into her arms downstairs.
Drill.
Only when recalling these broken details, Ye Jin felt faintly happy.
But it was only a short-term feeling.
Back in the car, Ye Jin leaned her head back on the seat and closed her eyes tightly.
His face was full of fatigue.
She also wants to love someone freely and without any burden, and she also wants to meet someone she likes, and the two of them can live a long and smooth life together. But such seemingly ordinary happiness, Ye Jin feels that it will not belong to her.
She didn't even think about actively pursuing him.
There is no great joy, nor unbearable loneliness. This is the truest portrayal of Ye Jin's life in these years. Can a person be lonely? He can be lonely, but it is not that bad.
Year after year, I have become accustomed to living alone. Ye Jin has always planned love in a dispensable position. For many people, love may be a sweet belonging, but for Ye Jin, love is
It's a disguised form of pressure, sometimes even torture.
Simply don't think about it.
Before meeting Xia An, Ye Jin had almost no expectations for relationships. She even convinced herself that her situation was more suitable for living alone and would have fewer worries, so she firmly insisted on not getting married.
It wasn't until Xia An appeared that her stubborn thoughts for many years were really shaken.
"Ye Jin, I dare to say that no one understands you better than me. After understanding you, you can be willing to wait for you like me." Ye Jin squinted and thought about Yi Zhen's words, but thinking about Xia An's face, she sighed.
I sighed and leaned down on the steering wheel. My heart was so clogged. I didn't drink at all tonight, but I still felt very uncomfortable.
The discomfort was not because of Yi Zhen's words, but because of her subconscious approval of those words.
Six years ago, she didn't love Yizhen but accepted his confession, which was a burden to her; now, she is obviously attracted to Xia An, but she still feels burdened in the face of Xia An's confession.
Regardless of whether she likes it or not, relationships are always depressing and heavy for her, and she feels like she can't breathe. Ye Jin wonders, is it true that she shouldn't have expectations and that a person is more suitable?
Yi Zhen once said that being with someone like her is torture.
Unintentional words are often the truest.
Ye Jin lay muffled on the steering wheel, feeling inferior and sensitive, tired and embarrassed, completely different from her usual arrogant and indifferent appearance. She had never shown this side to anyone.
I stayed alone in the car for who knows how long.
As the night progresses, the number of pedestrians on the street gradually decreases.
The snow was still falling, and when Ye Jin raised his head, the ground was already covered with a layer of white frost.
Ye Jin looked at the windshield. After a while, his embarrassed and tired expression became the same as before, calm and calm, as if he couldn't seem to have any troubles.
She started the engine and drove towards the familiar road.
In the bedroom, Xia An sat at the desk, staring at the computer screen attentively. After typing the last word on the keyboard, he looked at the time and saw that it was almost eleven o'clock.
Ye Jin hasn't come back yet.
The chat history still stopped at the other party's words "I'll call you later", and there was nothing more. Just when Xia An was thinking about calling her, she heard tiny footsteps coming from outside the door.
Xia An got up and walked out of the room.
Ye Jin suddenly saw Xia An opening the door and standing at the door in her pajamas, with her long black hair hanging lazily. She was stunned for a few seconds and then whispered, "Still not sleeping yet?"
Ye Jin didn't go home, and Xia An didn't want to sleep at all. Why did he come back so late? Are you socializing? Have you been drinking? A lot of concern arose in his heart. Xia An also looked at Ye Jin blankly for a while, but
In the end, she just said, "Please calm down the little guy. She has been waiting for you all night and is a little angry."
Xia An is good at hiding her emotions and always has a positive and optimistic attitude to the outside world, but she doesn't know that when in front of Ye Jin, she sometimes doesn't hide it well enough.
Such as now.
There was no joy on his face.
Is the little guy angry? Or are you angry? Ye Jin was also thinking in her mind. She looked at Xia An's face and couldn't help but ask, "Are you waiting for me?"
The atmosphere suddenly fell into silence.
Xia An lowered his eyes and said, "I fell asleep."
Still a lukewarm tone.
Then, there was the sound of the door being gently closed.
Staring at the closed door and seeing Xia An's reaction just now, Ye Jin was a little confused for a moment. Was she still angry, or was her enthusiasm slowly fading... At her age, in her prime, she is full of freshness about everything.
She has feelings and enthusiasm, so it is not difficult to be attracted to someone and say that she likes someone. It is not a question, Ye Jin just thinks that Xia An must not have mature enough considerations when he said that he likes her.
In the corridor, the two people had a few ordinary conversations.
It seems that it is really getting lighter.
Ye Jin stood at the door, stared quietly for a moment, and then returned to his room with a sad expression.
After returning to the room, Xia An continued to chew on the book.
I flipped through several pages and closed them absentmindedly without reading a single word.
When she saw Ye Jin just now, her heart was a little confused. It had been a while, and she still had no answer. How should she face Ye Jin? If she said she was free and easy to let go, she would be reluctant to let go; if she persisted and took the initiative, she would not have the courage; if she was still like
Now, just waiting in silence like this feels like torture to her, and it's not what she wants.
Xia An is a decisive person. She has faced many choices since she was a child, but she has never been indecisive. But now, she feels that she is too indecisive when facing Ye Jin.
Even with escape.
It was after midnight that Xia An lay down on the bed. She stared at the chandelier on the ceiling, still thinking about how to deal with her relationship with Ye Jin.
Xia An thought about it in his heart for a long time...
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and she still wants to take the initiative again.
Either take a step closer or take a step back. She really doesn't want to be like this, being ambiguous and thinking all day long. No matter it's good or bad, she wants to get the answer from Ye Jin. If she still can't get the answer she wants.
, it can only mean that she and Ye Jin are really not suitable for each other.
Even if she was rejected, it wouldn't be a matter of time. Xia An gritted her teeth and comforted herself. She was just facing a problem that most people face: falling in love with someone who doesn't like her.
Although she comforted herself in this way, Xia An still felt a pain in her heart when she thought of Ye Jin.
After all, this is the first time I like someone like this...
Thinking about everything between them, her nose became sore involuntarily, and she closed her eyes tightly before the corners of her eyes became wet.
When it comes to feelings, Xia An is still rational after all. She can't stupidly stick to a wishful relationship. Liking someone doesn't mean losing yourself. Love shouldn't be like this, right?
But plans can't keep up with changes.
On Valentine's Day, Xia An did not confess her love. But she thought that she would never take the initiative towards Ye Jin again...
The author has something to say: The author is autistic