(There was a muffled sound in the sky, and the director made a brilliant appearance - a loud fart does not stink, so it is a muffled sound.
All the audience stood up excitedly and raised their noble hands. The whole world was suddenly drowned by a sound - the sound of rotten goose eggs breaking through the air.
The director said confidently: "Everyone is so enthusiastic, I can't help feeling~~~~~~~~Ah~~~~~~~~YA, who is the one who throws pebbles at me?")
Shot 2: A dark and slippery trail. The entire trail is surprisingly clean. There is no garbage. No, there is one and only garbage on the ground. There is a VCD with a couplet written on it. The first couplet:
Don't look at the evil dragon's way; second line: God has decreed three swords for you; horizontal comment: you have to look at it even if you don't look at it!
(Complaint hotline:
Enthusiastic Audience C [Xiaobo]: “You can’t take photos of pig farts like this!”
Enthusiastic audience member Ding [Dragon Chair]: "That's right, the pig's head is already 160, and it will be 161 if we continue filming!"
The director ignored the above two people: "Guess, why do you need to castrate three times? No prizes for guessing correctly.")
Well, the camera focused sharply on a figure at the end of the trail. Well, to be precise, it should be a figure. Do you know what it means to stand without looking good, or walk without looking good? This person took this sentence to the extreme,
So much so that even I, the wise director of Shenwu, can't be sure whether he is the same [person].
"Huh~~~~~~~~~~ This is such a crazy weather, I'm almost tired of it." The figure walked from the darkness into the light.
(Friendly reminder from the director: Please watch the following scenes with the company of your parents!)
A pair of frayed flip-flops, a pair of oversized beach shorts - not zipped, and the yellow body hair drifted as the person walked; an oversized shirt with all the colors in the world - not buttoned
, the pale and skinny body is so half-covered by the foreskin; a cigar of at least 30cm is desperately burning itself and refreshing others; as for the flowing hair on that end, people can't bear to look at it, for fear that they will "fall in love with you"
My beautiful hair~~~~~~" He kept cursing in his mouth - I don't think it was a greeting to the national football team.
The source of his motivation for walking is the unzipped area. Every time he takes a step, he will push hard first, and then his two legs will move forward slowly and unwillingly - maybe that place
It's where his Dantian Qi Sea is located. What does it mean to be gifted?
He slowly but surely moved from the left to the right of the path.
(A friendly reminder from the director: In the following scene, please prepare tissues for both men and women. Men are ready to wipe nosebleeds, and women are ready to wipe tears.)
"唔唔唔~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" The sound of walking in high-heeled shoes appeared at the other end of the path.
A round of moonlight like a searchlight shined straight down from the sky and hit the owner of the high-heeled shoes hard - the director revealed: "Chang'e and Wu Gang went to see Avatar tonight, so only Zhu Bajie was up there, uh
, you know!”
Low V, high cross-cut, big breasts, perky buttocks, slender waist, long legs, slender hands, red lips, beautiful nose, charming eyes, thin eyebrows, snowy skin, flowing hair, thousands of words can be combined into one sentence: "This is Jingtian
What a disaster!"
She moved quickly and seductively from the right side of the trail to the left.
(Immediate news: Because an audience member did not listen to the director and did not prepare tissues, he is now extremely anemic and was rushed to the hospital for a blood transfusion. Please ask his family to go to the hospital to pay the money as soon as possible. This audience member’s name is: Passerby!)
As if destined, Gan Chai and Li Huo met in the middle of the trail on the left - who is Gan Chai? Who is Li Huo?
(At this time, the beautiful and appropriate background music sounded at the right time - "Leo": "When I am alone, I am Leo, baa~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~")
"Pah!!!" He raised the knife and lowered it. He was coming from the left, but she, who was coming from the right, knocked him down and picked him up with the knife in his hand.
Disappeared into the vast night~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Director’s message: “Many times, men are the victims of sexual harassment!”)
"Chekhov, it's impossible for the two of us."
"No~~~~~~That's not the case!"
"I have whatever I want now, what can you give me?"
"I……"
"Hey, I didn't expect this to be her first time. She is really crazy in bed. Haha, Chekhov, you son of a bitch, do you deserve to have her?"
"Let's go, I have nothing to do with him!"
"Hahahahahaha~~~~~~~~~~Chekov, my poor puppy, I don't mind throwing it to you once when I get tired of playing with it, haha~~~~~~~~~~"
Two screams sounded almost at the same time, on the super large water bed.
Chekov's whole body was shaking non-stop, he was clutching his hair desperately, cold sweat was flowing like water, and there was an abnormal flush on his naked and skinny body.
The woman under him closed her eyes tightly, with a kind smile on her face that only Guanyin Bodhisattva could have. It was so pure and inviolable. When such an expression appeared on such an occasion, it would drive people crazy.
A quarter of an hour later.
Chekov finally stopped shaking, and the woman opened her eyes.
Chekov stood up silently, sat on the edge of the bed, and said in a low voice: "You, let's go, tip."
A black gold bank card shot from his hand to the woman's side.
The woman looked at Chekov quietly, she kept smiling like that.
"If you look at me like this again, I will kill you! Get lost~~~" As he said the last word, all the window glass in a radius of a hundred miles cracked into the smallest particles - the magic thing is: it broke but did not fall apart.
The woman didn't speak, she just put on her clothes silently. Instead of taking the unlimited black gold card, she took out a photo from Chekov's clothes, then turned and left.
Chekov's mouth moved, but in the end he did not stop the woman's behavior. He just scolded in a low voice: "That's my only photo, ha~~~"
Suddenly, a Buddha's name came from a very far away place: "Amitabha~~~~ The poor monk's name is [Happy Guanyin], and the common people call me [Fascinating Guanyin]. This time the poor monk came down for calamity, I have been there
I have been experiencing calamities for more than a hundred thousand years in the world of mortals, but I have been unable to find a destined person who can help me escape. I didn’t expect that person to be you. How good it is, how good it is~~~ The poor monk is about to return to his position. I have left behind the karma between the two of us.
We will meet each other if we are destined, Amitabha~~~~~~~~"
The night sky suddenly seemed like daylight, fleeting.
"Cause and effect? Damn it! The dew couple have their own karma." Chekov fell on the bed as if exhausted, and soon fell asleep.
The moonlight shone softly on his face, and a tear slipped from the corner of his eye.