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The 245th chapter can also feel inferior (5)

Even if Xu Ran acted indifferently, all the colleagues in Group A would not believe it, even though it was true.

Everyone in the project team is the project leader. Everyone has experienced being suddenly transferred from the project in the middle of the project. The pain of not being able to complete the project from beginning to end is a feeling that all project leaders must experience.

The fact that Su Xiaolu could be so uncomfortable and unhappy, and that it took her more than half a month to gradually accept it, already reflects her professionalism, because this is the first time.

But since Xu Ran left professional e-sports, nothing has changed at all. Who can believe that he doesn't care at all?

As an intern, why don't you care?

If Xu Ran was a senior project leader, then colleagues on the project team would not think this way when faced with Han Yike's extreme attitude.

But Xu Ran is not...he is just an intern. Everyone believes that Xu Ran has this ability, but they do not believe that he has the mature professional quality.

Xu Ran was negligent, he was negligent too much...

He ignored his own identity and Han Yike's feelings. There were many things that he could have thought of in advance, but he didn't notice them.

Just because he is too arrogant...

However, now is not the time to think about these things. The most important thing now is to find Han Yike.

And now Xu Ran has roughly figured out where Han Yike will be.

Han Yi didn't go to Han's mother, let alone his home.

If Han Yi can sneak back home in the early morning, Xu Ran cannot possibly not know about it.

Even if Han Yike secretly returns home while he and Zhao Yiyi are at work and school, Zhao Yiyi will run home to take a nap at noon. If Han Yike is really at home, Zhao Yiyi will definitely tell him.

Xu Ran thought about the places Han Yi might go. Changlu Amusement Park was too far away, and the Confucius Temple was also far away. Han Yi could not go very far without a mobile phone or wallet.

So there is basically only one possibility, that is, Han Yike can hide in his rental house.

Since she moved to Xu Ran's rental house, she hasn't been back much. She only came back to pick up some things when she moved to the team base dormitory, and she didn't even return to the rental house.

Xu Ran did not deliberately ask Han Yike to retreat. After all, this was the place where Han Yike had lived alone for three years.

So this is probably where Han Yike can escape, but if she really isn't here, then there's nothing Xu Ran can do.

Then Xu Ran had no idea where Han Yike would go...

When he arrived at Han Yike's previous rental house, he took out the key and opened the door. When he opened the door, he prayed in his heart that Han Yike must be inside...

When the door opened, Xu Ran was the first to smell the faint smell of dust in the room that had not been human for a long time. In this weather, the air conditioner was not turned on, and his heart tightened slightly.

With the sound of the door opening, Xu Ran stepped inside.

The bed was empty, and the computer on the computer desk had long been moved to the team base. Although the back of the gaming chair was facing him, Xu Ran finally breathed a sigh of relief.

Because there was a Raven doll with big eyes and an imposing figure on the originally empty computer table, and a pair of small shoes under the gaming chair, which meant that Han Yi Ke was here.

Then he closed the door, but Xu Ran was also curious, why didn't he turn on the air conditioner in such a hot weather? Why did he stay in the room?

As soon as the door closed, the gaming chair began to move.

I saw the chair spinning on the spot. The back of the gaming chair was originally facing Xu Ran, but now it was facing Xu Ran from the side.

Han Yike sat on the chair holding his knees, looking at her as if he didn't want to look at Xu Ran.

Xu Ran's heart relaxed, followed by uncontrollable anger, but his expression did not change.

Because of Han Yike's willfulness, everyone in the entire team base was panicked, and everyone in the project team was urgently worried.

But the victim was safely in this rental house, sitting in a daze on this chair!

The weather was sultry and hot, and Han Yike's bangs were stuck to his forehead with sweat, and his face was haggard. His originally cute big eyes were bloodshot, his eyelids were a little sunken, and his lips were dry. It was obvious that he had not rested last night.

Xu Ran didn't know how to speak, because he felt that as long as he spoke, it would be like asking her why she did this.

He has too many reasons why he doesn't confess to himself, why he doesn't tell himself about something, why he is angry with himself, why he is willful...

Why are you so irresponsible to yourself!

Xu Ran took a deep breath and exhaled it, pursed her lips, and just looked at Han Yike silently.

Han Yike turned his head and looked at the curtains, his voice a little fragile: "Did they ask you to come to me?"

Xu Ran ignored who 'they' were, and gritted his teeth: "Yes, it's not them. I didn't even know you had the ability to climb through windows and stairs."

"I just learned it yesterday."

Hearing Han Yike's understatement, Xu Ran felt even more angry.

He did not step forward, but stood there and looked at Han Yike: "Do you know that Yue Lian and the others are very worried about you."

"What does it have to do with me?"

"Why doesn't it matter? She takes care of you so much..."

"I didn't ask her to do this."

Xu Ran's eyebrows couldn't help but jump. He thought he could suppress his anger, try to communicate with Han Yike calmly, and coax her to go back.

But the anger could not be suppressed no matter what.

"You...why did you do this?" Xu Ran opened his mouth and took a deep breath, adjusting his emotions again: "Why did you choose this method?"

"No reason, I want to do this."

"What do you mean you want to do this!" Xu Ran finally couldn't hold back anymore, and his tone couldn't help but soared.

The soaring tone of her voice obviously frightened Han Yike, causing her to turn her head away. There were still faint tears on her face, but Xu Ran didn't care anymore.

He felt that he had to educate this stinky girl well, otherwise this stinky girl would not cherish himself and his future so much next time, and would never be responsible for himself!

"Why are you so willful? Why are you so willful! Why are you losing your temper? Why are you losing your temper!" Xu Ran looked at Han Yike's surprised expression, and anger began to well up in his head: "Why, it's

Is it too tiring to play professionally that you can’t hold on anymore? Or are you being criticized by people on the Internet so much that you can’t sleep? Or is it because of me? Because I can’t be responsible for your future career, you just give up on yourself? Han Yike, are you starting?

What a joke!”

Han Yike's originally cute face was also full of anger. She didn't expect that she would be accused and lectured by Xu Ran. Her voice was fragile and loud.

"Whatever I do, I must ask you! I can do whatever I want! I can get angry if I want to!"

"I think you are just scared and timid. You think it is too difficult to live in the outside world, so you fled back to this shabby place that is the only place for you to escape reality, right?!"

Han Yike gritted his teeth: "I don't allow you to say this is a shabby place!"

"What's not to say?" Xu Ran laughed angrily and mocked, "I have seen many people in society who like to let nature take its course to deal with the thorns and bumps encountered on the road of life, but what is the real thing? The real letting nature take its course is

Don’t force yourself after trying your best, instead of just inaction like you! Do you really think that if you hide here, the outside world won’t bother you, and you can continue to live your life with peace of mind?! What a shame!

You still say you are an adult, but you are a shitty adult!"

"What right do you have to say that to me! Why do you say that to me! Do you want to teach me this just because I didn't listen to you? Yes, I just escaped, I just don't want to play professionally, I just don't want to

After I get out, I just want to stay in this small room until I die! What can you do to me?!"

Han Yike seemed to have given up on himself, sitting on the gaming chair and arguing with Xu Ran, and Xu Ran became even more angry when he heard these words.

"Han Yike, if you are willing to stay in this broken cage and be a bird with wings but unable to fly, I, Xu Ran, will not look down on you or hate you. I may sympathize with you, but then

I’m definitely not pitying you!”

Xu Ran pointed at Han Yike angrily: "Because everyone has their own ambitions and their pursuits are different. If the life you want is to be moldy and smelly in this broken cage for the rest of your life, then I don't care...

..But is this the fact? No!!”

"You want to fly out, you want to fly out of this broken cage, but you don't have the chance to fly out! But you don't want to admit that you are afraid of the outside world, you don't accept comfort and encouragement from others, you hate those things, just because

You are afraid that others will understand how sensitive, cowardly, and inferior you really are, how vulnerable you really are, and how fragile you are to the point where you will be heartbroken and shed tears just by someone else's words."

"You want to be brave, so you live in this broken cage, using indifference and disdain to cover up your reluctance and yearning for the outside world, hypnotizing and comforting yourself, saying that you are doing this because of some willful and selfish reason.

You voluntarily gave up the sky that once belonged to you!"

"The sky you thought until now has collapsed and disappeared. Even if you want to fly out of this broken cage in the future, you will not be able to find what you had before! Your willfulness and selfishness will make you

You lose everything you have now!"

"Now you have everything but courage. But before, you had nothing but courage."

Xu Ran angrily lectured Han Yike, but still did not stop talking: "You know what you have is that others may not be able to catch up with your achievements in ten lifetimes! It is that no matter how hard others try, they cannot achieve your results.

!But what about you? You don’t know how to cherish yourself at all! You can’t be responsible for your own life at all, and you abandon your future! Countless people are jealous of your life, and everyone wishes they were you!”

"Do you understand what your future life will be like? Let everyone who once looked down on you look up to you. Let people who once were prejudiced against you look at you squarely. Let people who once sympathized with you

I’m jealous of you...!”

"I don't need it!" Han Yike shouted angrily. She lifted the Raven doll on the computer table and threw it directly at Xu Ran.

The Raven doll hit Xu Ran hard, then rolled to the floor several times before stopping.

The whole room was filled with Han Yike's fragile, angry and crying voice, which directly interrupted Xu Ran's lesson and interrupted his anger.

He looked at the cute face in front of him, which was also full of anger, and was a little stunned.

"Why do you say this place is a broken bird cage? Why do you say this place is a broken bird cage? Why!!"

"Do you know that it is this place that gives me the courage to live? It is the things this place brings that give me the courage to face the world! Anyone can say that this place is a broken bird cage, where I escape from life.

Doghouse! You are the only one who can’t do it, Xu Daoduo, only you can’t do it!!”

Han Yike burst into tears. She shouted angrily. This was the first time Xu Ran had seen her so hysterical. Even after being said like that in the live broadcast room, she had never been so hysterical.

"You said I don't know how to cherish myself, that's because I've never met anyone who can cherish me as much as you do! You won't coax me, you'll lie to me, and you'll even be cruel to me. You've always told me, let me

You want me to cherish myself."

"You said I don't understand what reality is, I do, I understand better than you!"

"Reality is sour, bitter, painful, or sweet! If I no longer feel sour, bitter, or painful, then the sweet feeling in life will also disappear."

"Because I have things I don't like, I know more clearly what I like. You say I don't understand life, but you don't understand, Xu Zhuteng! Life is about bravely accepting the imperfections in reality! Accept the imperfections of yourself and accept me. Because

The perspective and prejudice brought about by disability! Accept all the bad things this world has brought to me!"

"I know that I want to enjoy the beauty of that part of life! I have done it, so why should you accuse me and blame me! You said that I don't understand the future. You are right, I don't understand and I don't want to understand!"

Han Yike's tears couldn't stop flowing down, but she had no intention of wiping them away: "I don't know how long the future will be, and what the happiness and joy I want will look like after that long time. But I know that today, I

I know what kind of happiness and joy I want now, and I know what I want tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow!”

"I know I won't regret this for a long time!"

"Because you don't understand anything, Xu Daundun, that's why I have to be willful and lose my temper!!"

"I'm still very young. I'm only 24 years old. My incomplete life is still very long, so I don't want to regret something that I want to do, am willing to do, and should do in such a long time. If you ask me

Is it worth it? My answer is definitely worth it!"

"If one day in the future I get tired or I grow up and my values ​​​​have changed, and I look back at today's decision, I will still not betray today's decision! Let alone feel guilty! Because I did something that I think is not wrong.

thing!"

Xu Ran gritted his teeth, bent down to pick up the Raven doll, and held the Raven doll tightly in his hand. He cursed loudly enough to make Han Yike stay where he was.

"I don't allow you to say that about yourself! Who says you are incomplete? Who dares to say your life is incomplete?!"

"Do you know, you careless little girl, how much you have done and how much I have paid for you to have the life you have now! I am not saying this to make you grateful to me, not to make you feel for me.

owe!"

"I say this to let you know that you are not inferior to others! Your life is not incomplete! Your current achievements are not even comparable to mine. You are an existence worthy of everyone around you being proud of!!"

In order to make up for the shortcomings in Han Yike's heart, Xu Ran did too much, whether it was family, parents, work or career, it could be said that whatever Han Yike lacked, Xu Ran could only think about making up for it.

Sometimes when I think back, I wonder why I care so much about this girl who basically has nothing to do with her, why do I worry so much about her?

Why?


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