Two hundred and fortieth chapters can also feel inferior (six)
"No matter what you think, this is not an excuse for you to escape. You often say that you are an adult, so show me the attitude of an adult. Even if you are trying to be strong, you must continue to be strong. Everyone around you
, we all hope you can do your best.”
Xu Ran's anger subsided a lot during the quarrel, but she was still dissatisfied with Han Yike's behavior. If there was any problem, she could tell herself, instead of using this method...using this method to hurt everyone around her.
people.
"If you give up playing professionally because of me, then I will feel pain for the rest of my life, not because you are not strong enough, but because I have limited abilities and cannot help you and cannot be responsible for you.
." Xu Ran sighed lightly, "Just tell me if you really don't want to go back to play professionally."
Han Yike pursed her lips tightly, her pupils trembling slightly. She wiped away the tears on her face and turned her head stubbornly.
"No fight! I don't want to fight!"
Xu Ranmeifeng couldn't help but jump, but he did not get angry again, but asked gently: "What about the reason? What is the reason in your heart that you really don't want to play professionally?"
"I...I..." Han Yike muttered several times in succession, and then she couldn't help crying again. She wiped her eyes with her hands, as if she didn't want Xu Ran to see her crying: "You don't like it.
Me, you hate me, so what’s the point of being a professional?! Then I might as well find a place to hide again, so you don’t see me, so as not to upset you!”
"What do you mean I don't like you?" Xu Ran found it a little difficult to understand. "A few days ago, I posted on Weibo saying that I like you. Didn't you see it? Why do I hate you?"
"That's why I said you are a big liar! You know how to lie to others, you are a super liar!!" Han Yike shouted angrily with tears in his eyes, leaving Xu Ran stunned on the spot and unable to understand.
"You said you like me, it's a lie! You said you will always be by my side, that's a lie! You said I can see you anytime I want to, it's a lie!"
Xu Ran couldn't help but smile bitterly. He spread his hands and said, "How could I not like you? Where did I lie to you? If I didn't care about you, would I stand here and tell you this now?"
"You hate me, I know! You want to push me far away so that I don't have the chance to see you. Do you think I don't know?!"
"Okay, I don't have this idea..."
"Then tell me, why have you never come to me for more than a month? Do you know how much I miss you?! I get up every day and think about whether you will show up at the team base today, even if you can't take me
Go play, even if you can't talk to me, even if you can only stand behind me and touch my head like usual, I'll be content!"
Han Yike put his head on his knees: "But you didn't show up at all, and even if I asked you to come, you would pervert me! How much do you hate me, how much don't you want to see me? Why don't you even want to see me once?
?!"
Xu Ran explained helplessly: "I really...can't get through."
"I know, I already knew it yesterday! I know that you are not welcomed by your colleagues, so you won't come. You don't want to make things difficult for your colleagues! But are these things you care about really important? Xu Daodun.
"Han Yike raised his head again and looked at Xu Ran: "I, Han Yike, don't think it is important at all!"
"Xu Daodun, you told me to listen to Yue Lian and the management of the team base, so I will do it! If it weren't for you, I wouldn't come to this profession. I know what I have now
Everything is hard-won, and the value attached to me makes many people envious and jealous, but I don’t care! If I wanted to see you, I would immediately drop everything and run to you, but the biggest obstacle that prevents me from coming to see you is
It's you who made me listen to them!"
Han Yike's eyes turned into beads, and each drop fell on her hand. Xu Ran panicked and wanted to step forward, but Han Yike stopped her.
"Don't come over! I hate you... You never wanted to come over to see me, you treat me as a burden..."
Xu Ran denied loudly: "No, I didn't!"
"Who said no! In your eyes, I am a burden!" Han Yike came over with red eyes, "Why are you so persistent in finding my parents? Why do you have to choose one of them from them! Why do you still have to do it?
Tell me, even if I choose any family, you will not leave me, you will still be by my side!"
"But what is the truth?!"
"It's you who abandoned me. I can't see you again. I'm trapped by the so-called family! You use morality to kidnap yourself, and then you use morality to kidnap me! I hate you! You have never been
Never liked me."
"The important thing is! I believed it..." Han Yike bit his lip, "I believed your nonsense. I really don't understand. What on earth am I in your eyes? I want to play a career for you.
, because I think you need me to do this. If someone asks me if I am happy in my career, I will say that I am very unhappy because I can’t see you every day. But I can accept it because I feel that everything I give is worthwhile.
It’s worth it. When I stand on the competition stage, I’m not fighting for victory or for the team. I’m fighting for you! It’s all for you!”
"But what did you do to me? Find my parents, force me to choose one, and then pretend that you care about your colleagues' opinions, care about my training situation, and don't want to disturb me..."
"Fuck you! You just hate me, you want to push me far away! Push me to a place where you will never see me, but in fact you did it, I really can't see you anymore...
.”
Han Yike shed tears, which contained stories that Xu Ran realized later.
"Do you understand how much I like you... How much I have missed you for more than a month..."
Xu Ran could no longer hold back, holding the Raven doll and hurriedly rushed to the gaming chair and knelt down on one knee. Looking at the girl sitting under the gaming chair crying, he directly took her into his arms with a full expression on her face.
It's self-blame and sadness.
Han Yike's little hands weakly pushed Xu Ran's shoulders, but after pushing a few times, his little lotus-like hands couldn't help but hug Xu Ran's neck, and cried on his shoulders.
Xu Ran felt the wet tears on his chest and listened to the fragile cry beside his ears. He felt very uncomfortable.
"sorry..."
Recalling his previous accusations against Han Yike, he felt extremely guilty and self-blame.
Because in Xu Ran's eyes, he felt that the reason why Han Yike did this was that she was unwilling to face the situation when she was no longer by her side. She knew that she could no longer be responsible for her career. She couldn't face it, so she escaped.
I hid in this rental house.
He thought it was like this...
Turns out it's not...
The reason why Han Yike broke out, got angry, and ran back here was because she discovered that the guy she had always liked had never liked her.
Yes, Xu Ran didn't think he had done anything wrong. He dared to pat his chest and say that everything he did was for Han Yike's good.
He guided Han Yike to work professionally because he wanted her to have a career of her own, and he also thought that if she could become famous professionally, her parents would naturally come back to take her back.
Han Yike's childhood was incomplete... Xu Ran couldn't do much. He felt that as long as Han Yike could return to his family, he might slowly make up for the gaps in family ties and childhood.
In fact, Xu Ran was not wrong.
Han Yike did have expectations for family and family, but Xu Ran never expected that...in her heart, her weight would be so big...
Big enough to overwhelm everything, big enough to cover up family and family ties, big enough to destroy everything he owns.
Xu Ran was really worried when she didn't see Han Yike in front of her. She thought that Han Yike might have a new life after having parents again. However, she was just a good friend of Han Yike and didn't necessarily need to be with him all the time.
Moreover, both of them have their own work. As long as it is not a big problem, he should not disturb Han Yike.
But he found that his thoughts were too selfish.
Han Yike listens to himself very much. No matter what he says or asks for, Han Yike will always be the first to respond.
This also led to Xu Ran always misunderstanding that Han Yike responded so decisively to her suggestions because she liked to do so and she was very satisfied with her suggestions.
Actually not!
It was because he, Xu Daodun, said it that Han Yike accepted it without hesitation. There was no other reason...
Xu Ran felt that he was too selfish. He thought that Han Yike liked to play games, and because she was talented, he thought that she would like to play professionally.
He thought that Han Yike had regrets about her original family, so he felt that she must want to return to her original family.
He thought that Han Yi would have a new lifestyle, with her parents solving her troubles, and she wouldn't need him much in the future...
These were all his wishful thinking, and Han Yike remained silent and did not resist. It was not because she liked the choices Xu Daodong made for herself, but because Xu Daodong made these choices.
Xu Ran never understood before, but now he finally understands.
It turned out that it was his own selfishness that hurt Han Yike.
For more than a month, he was like cutting through a wall to steal the light, digging a hole in Han Yike's heart bit by bit, until the hole got bigger and bigger. He had already hurt Han Yike extremely painfully, and now he only
Completely react!
Xu Ran, you are simply a bastard, why do you ignore the feelings of this girl Han Yike?
Don’t you know that Han Yike likes you? Don’t you know that Han Yike values you very much?
No, you knew it very well, but why did you still ignore it?
The self-righteous person was doing Han Yike a favor, but she never asked Han Yike what she wanted...
Xu Ran gently touched Han Yike's head, and her crying gradually weakened. Until her emotions seemed to have calmed down a little, Xu Ran broke away from the embrace and looked guiltily at the lovely girl covered with tears in front of her.
Face.
He gently wiped away the tear stains with his hand, but found that the tear stains were somewhat difficult to clean.
Han Yike's nose twitched, and she didn't dare to look at Xu Ran after the fuss. She looked at the Ruiwen doll in Xu Ran's hand and quickly took it back. Looking at the dust marks on the doll, she quickly patted it off with her little hands.
Seeing Han Yike cherish this Ruiwen doll so much, Xu Ran felt mixed emotions in her heart.
Han Yike cherished every word he said and everything he gave her, but he couldn't take into account her feelings. He failed too much as a friend.
"I'm sorry." Xu Ran apologized guiltily again.
Han Yike pursed his lips and said weakly: "Aren't you going to scold me?"
"No, I shouldn't lecture you. It's me who's wrong, it's my problem."
Xu Ran gently wiped Han Yike's face. Seeing Xu Ran's cautious look, her mood gradually became complicated.
"I...I don't allow you to say that this is a broken place or a broken bird cage." Han Yike said firmly.
"Well, I won't say anything anymore."
"This house is full of memories of you and me in the past three years."
"Our memories?" Xu Ran was stunned.
"From the time I woke up to the time I lived alone, I stayed here every day. Only when I was with you did I feel happy and every day was meaningful. Although you can't spend too much time with me every day, you can I know that there are always a few hours every day that you belong to me. I wait for you to finish class every day...wait for you to finish get off work, and stay in front of the computer every day, just looking forward to you getting online soon." Han Yike's eyes filled with tears again, " It can be said that in the past three years, I have had no one, you are the only one in my life... You always talk about the future... But if the future does not have you, why do I want this future? The future should not be in my own hands ? Why can't I choose to live with you... Just like before, you only stay with me for a while every day..."
"Xu Naitao, I was so scared yesterday..."
"I beat your colleague and lost my temper, but when I calmed down and thought about it, you can't come to see me, and I can't go out to find you. Thinking of not being able to see you or talk to you for more than a month,
I don’t know how I spent my time without being able to play with you. I support myself and comfort myself every day, saying that you will come to me when you are free. You are busy at work and cannot disturb you. I want to listen to you and listen.
Their words..."
"But yesterday I discovered... It turns out that this terrible life will continue for a long, long time. It turns out that my future life will be like this! In the future, I will listen to their words... to train... to compete.
.”
"It doesn't matter to me! As long as I think it's all worthwhile for you, then I'm willing to do it, but you're not with me anymore... What's the point?"
"Xu Yutong, tell me! What is the meaning of this kind of future and this kind of life? I don't want fame, I don't want to be a professional player, I don't want to be an Internet celebrity! I don't need those false family ties!"
"You said that I am timid, sensitive, and have low self-esteem. You are right. I really don't have the courage to face the outside world, but you are the one who supports me to get out of this birdcage and allows me to go to the outside world."
"All my courage was given by you, have you forgotten? But if you are no longer by my side, my courage will be gone. It will be gone. Do you know?"
"My life is incomplete, but as long as you are here, I feel that I am just as good as anyone else. I am happier and happier than anyone else."
"As long as I can have the same few hours a day as before..."
"real..."
Han Yike was like a timid little girl looking forward to receiving charity. Her eyebrows were slightly knitted together, and her red eyes were silently filled with tears, soaking Xu Ran's fingers.