Xia Fanxing came to the National University of Science and Technology after a series of phone calls from her uncle, appointments, and pressure and pleading.
Following the instructions from the nice and gentle female voice on the phone, I came to the door of her office.
After ringing the doorbell, he saw an extremely young and beautiful girl.
Although the girl is extremely beautiful, her face does not have the arrogance that a great beauty should have. Instead, she looks like the moon, gentle and non-aggressive.
She had a peaceful temperament that he had never seen in ordinary beautiful girls before.
The girl opened the door without even saying hello.
He was silent for a long time, lowered his head and said, "I'm here to see Teacher Ning."
"I am Teacher Ning." When the girl spoke, her voice was exactly the same as the one on the phone.
She is the very powerful psychiatrist that his uncle found for him.
Xia Fanxing was secretly frightened and a little irritated at the same time.
He actually didn't want to go out or see a psychiatrist.
No matter how good-looking the girl across from her is, her aura makes him feel comfortable.
As soon as he heard her identity, he couldn't help but feel repulsed.
Even if you come, you can't just turn around and leave.
Xia Fanxing lowered his head and stopped talking.
Then, he was taken into a room filled with books. There were two chairs and a small wooden desk. There was nothing on the desk except an ultra-thin silver laptop.
She sat down on the chair.
He looked at her for a while and then sat down on one of the chairs.
…
Xia Fanxing lowered his head and remained silent.
He has long been accustomed to people around him talking to him, which is the beginning of a lengthy lecture or teaching.
Each of them is very powerful and seems to know more than him.
Although the person opposite is young and beautiful, according to my uncle's introduction, I heard that he is a genius, a famous psychiatrist and the youngest psychology professor in the history of the National University of Science and Technology.
That's more of a feeling of superiority. I must have spoken in this way when facing someone like him.
He was prepared to be punished, but after waiting for a long time, nothing happened.
There was only silent silence in the office.
The quiet time was too long, and Xia Fanxing gradually felt nervous. He began to feel uncomfortable all over, but the teacher opposite still just looked at him quietly.
He finally couldn't help it anymore and asked depressedly and plaintively: "Aren't you going to ask me something?"
"About what?" Teacher Ning replied good-naturedly.
"Tell me what is right, what is good, what should be done. Uncle asked me to come to you, didn't he just ask you to tell me this?"
Xia Fanxing sneered.
A meaningless smile appeared at the corner of his mouth, but there was a deep sadness in his eyes. He couldn't see it himself, but Ning Youguang across from him could see it clearly.
She asked in a gentle voice: "Do you feel that what you are doing is wrong?"
"Yes, uncle must have told you all about my situation." When he said this, the young man couldn't help but cover his face, and tears fell from his eyes.
It soon flowed from his fingers.
Ning Youguang said nothing and continued to watch silently.
Xia Fanxing, who was opposite her, was even more unbearable.
Anyway, he was already crying, so he broke out completely and released all his unpleasant feelings in front of her.
He cried for a long time.
Ning Youguang still didn't say anything. During this period, she just quietly gave him a box of tissues.
After a long time, Xia Fanxing's crying gradually subsided. He took out a few tissues, wiped his eyes and face randomly, and took a deep breath.
He looked at the girl opposite him with tearful eyes, whose face was calm but as delicate as a jade carving.
Even though she didn't do anything or say anything, he felt a little better.
Then, he said in a frustrated tone: "My uncle asked me to come to you and said that you could help me. Now I have decided to listen to you. Tell me what I should do, and I will do it. I know that my uncle will do it too."
For my own good."
He thought that since he had said this, the teacher opposite would have told him what to do in a long speech, but unexpectedly, she just asked in a calm voice: "Who asked me to do a case? Is it you or your uncle."
"Is there a difference?"
"There is a difference."
"What's the difference?" Xia Fanxing didn't quite understand.
"You see, your uncle thought you had a problem, so he asked me to do a case for you in order to alleviate his worries about you. You want me to help you, but it is because you know that your uncle is doing it for your own good. In this
During the process, I didn't see that you needed my help for any reason of your own, so in my opinion, your uncle is the one who really needs help, isn't he?"
After hearing this, Xia Fanxing became even more confused, with confusion on his face.
Ning Youguang didn't know why the young man opposite him went out today. He cut his hair, shaved his beard, and changed into clean clothes. He looked very different from the sloppy appearance he saw at his house that day.
His face and facial features are clearly exposed in front of people. Although he wears a hat and habitually lowers his head, people can tell at a glance that he is a handsome young man.
It's just that he is too thin, has no flesh on his cheeks, and has some protruding bones, which makes him look a little less good-looking.
His skin is also paler than the average person because he has not been out for many years, and there are bloodshot eyes. He looks gloomy and gloomy.
This is how Ning Youguang opened the door of his office and saw Xia Fanxing.
"Teacher Ning, I've come here, but you tell me that it's not me who's asking you for consultation, so what should I do?" Xia Fanxing's eyes showed sadness.
"This is a good question. Let me tell you that psychological counseling is a spontaneous process. When doing a case, the client and the counselor must be in a voluntary situation, so that the case can proceed normally. This means that only if
Only when you come to me because you need consultation can I help you and our cooperation is established. Once we agree to cooperate, we need to draw up a contract. At the end of the consultation, I will update you on your situation and progress.
Let me tell you, it is clearly written in black and white. This is a very professional case consultation process. We all need to be responsible for it and we need to take it seriously."
Xia Fanxing's mind was running rapidly. Although he had not yet understood the situation, he understood that consulting Teacher Ning had to be of his own free will, and he would also be responsible for the results of the consultation.
This means that no matter what happens after the consultation, he will have to pay for it.
This situation is completely different from what he imagined before coming here to teach and teach quickly.
But Xia Fanxing's rejection of the supposedly powerful psychological counselor in front of him began to loosen.
After a long time, he finally spoke: "I understand, I am willing to accept consultation and cooperate with you. I'm sorry, my attitude was not correct just now. Can we continue the consultation?"
Unexpectedly, Teacher Ning, who had a gentle look across from him, said seriously: "We have already conducted a formal consultation."
Next, she patiently explained to Xia Fanxing what the client and the consultant needed to do when conducting the case.
"We need to interview for one hour every week. The length of this consultation case depends on your specific situation. I suggest that your consultation starts next week, every Wednesday morning from 10 to 11 o'clock. At the end of the case, we
You will continue with the next consultation plan, have you decided?"
Xia Fanxing was about to nod, but then he remembered that he had always made decisions at will without thinking, and even regretted it later, or else he would just do what the elders in the family said.
The result was that he did it reluctantly.
He seems to rarely think twice before making a decision and make decisions based on his own ideas.
The answer to the mouth is shut in the throat.
He looked at the clear but wise eyes of the teacher opposite him and decided to make a good decision for himself.
After a long while, he asked slowly: "Can I go back and think about it for a while before calling you about my decision?"
"Of course." Teacher Ning opposite stood up.
There are no mandatory requirements and no excessive suggestions.
Xia Fanxing felt relieved and sighed softly.
Before leaving Ning Youguang's office.
Xia Fanxing had already gone out, but then turned around and looked at Teacher Ning who was standing by the door to say goodbye.
He hesitated for a moment, then asked in a nagging tone: "Teacher Ning, do you think I will get better?"
Teacher Ning smiled, and for a moment, Xia Fanxing seemed to see the magnolia blooming in the yard outside her home.
Her voice was still gentle, but a little more cheerful than when she just consulted.
"Of course, if I didn't believe that everyone has the ability to get better, I wouldn't do this job. I can't guarantee that you will get better, but I will do my best to accompany you when you come out. At the same time, I
I also hope that you can devote yourself wholeheartedly. If we all work hard towards the same goal, I believe that the light is ahead, but in the final analysis, we must have the same goal, trust each other, and work together well."
Xia Fanxing held his pockets, put on his hat, lowered his head and slowly walked out of the gate of the National University of Science and Technology.
He did not take a taxi home immediately and lock himself up quickly. Instead, he walked aimlessly along the road outside the National University of Science and Technology.
He was thinking about Teacher Ning's words and thinking about what the next consultation would be like.
…
When Xia Fanxing returned home that day, she didn't know why, but she felt like her days were passing very slowly.
He gained some strength in Teacher Ning's office, but it didn't last for a day.
After that, he became listless again, went to bed early, woke up early, and couldn't stop thinking in his mind, often having all kinds of random sad and desperate thoughts.
It was better during the day, but it was even more difficult for him at night.
Most of the time, he feels anxious.
Finally the Wednesday morning agreed with Teacher Ning arrived.
This time, without any pressure from his uncle, he shaved, washed his hair, and went to the National University of Science and Technology.
…
This was the second time Xia Fanxing sat face to face with Teacher Ning in her office.
Silence makes people's pressure soar. When Xia Fanxing felt impatient, Teacher Ning across from him spoke.
"How do you feel today?"
"Very good, thank you." This has been his habit since childhood.
My family taught me this when I was a child, but when I grew up, I said it casually and it became an answer without thinking.
In fact, it has nothing to do with his true inner state.
"Let me ask you again, how do you feel now?" Ning Youguang asked again in a serious tone.
Xia Fanxing had no choice but to take it seriously.
He moved his butt, hesitated for a moment, and asked, "What do you mean by feeling?"
Of course he's not so stupid that he can't even understand the other person's questions.
He is just like many adults who have never consciously expressed their true inner emotions to outsiders.
This habit is difficult to change. He didn't know how to speak for a moment, so he had to ask her back.
Of course Ning Youguang knew the meaning behind his question and understood his psychological changes.
He is unconsciously escaping from self-understanding.
Xia Dong said that his nephew used to be very good at making friends and dealing with people. He didn't know why the child changed and became more and more closed-minded after the death of his eldest brother and sister-in-law.
Ning Youguang understands.
Xia Fanxing was born in a good family and had a good family background. Both of her parents were successful people. There were often many social activities at home.
His parents and family often take him to many social occasions and meet many celebrities. They will train him from an early age on the etiquette of various occasions, as well as how to greet and send him off, and cope with various social situations.
But these are all unintentional.
It's just a trained behavior pattern.
He is like an automated machine that has been entered into various programs by his family and people around him since birth. Each program is a standardized operation used to deal with various interpersonal relationships.
In other words, the so-called sociability of Xia Fanxing in Xia Dong's eyes was not something he was born with, but a behavioral pattern trained in his native family environment.
This model does not have the blessing of talent and wisdom, it does not have any creativity, it cannot impress people, and it is not agile.
In a situation like Xia Fanxing's, if he encounters something he has never experienced before, he will not be able to cope with it well.
He has never analyzed himself and does not know how to describe his state.
"Okay, let me ask you another way." Ning Youguang's mind turned over and over again, but his face remained gentle, "Suppose that everyone's emotions have an equal value, suicidal thoughts are 1, very happy is 10, no
Even if it’s very bad and not very happy, it’s 5. So, if you use a number to describe your feelings, which one would you choose?”
Xia Fanxing was stunned for a moment and said slowly, "It's a little better than 1."
"Okay, then I understand, have you ever had suicidal thoughts?"
"Yes, a month ago, I didn't want to do anything at home. I didn't want to play games or surf the Internet. I couldn't sleep at night. I didn't want to eat during the day. I felt like I was shrouded in darkness. I didn't know what to do. I went there at that time.
On the roof of the building, I wanted to jump off. However, my uncle came to see me at that time, and I no longer had such thoughts." Xia Fanxing took a deep breath and seemed to cheer up, "I don't have such thoughts now either.
idea."
"So, how are you feeling now?"
"I feel like I can't find my own value, I don't know what to do, and I often make a mess of my life." Xia Fanxing had a look of defeat in his eyes again.
Then he started crying again.
Ning Youguang just quietly handed him a box of tissues.
After holding a tissue box and crying happily, Xia Fanxing gradually calmed down.
Ning Youguang then spoke softly: "Have you always felt this way?"
Xia Fanxing sniffed, "Yes, I often feel like this. Sometimes I cheer up when I encounter some good things, but most of the time I fall into huge negative emotions. I don't know what to do.
That’s good.”
"So, what is the reason that made you feel this way this time recently?"
"It's a long story."
"My job is to listen to the client's story."
Xia Fanxing slowly told a few things that happened to him.
At first, he couldn't help but look at the face of Teacher Ning opposite him, fearing that she would make some comments or criticisms. Later, he found that she was really just listening with a calm face, so he started talking.
After telling a few stories about what happened to him, Xia Fanxing slumped back in his chair, "These things don't make me feel so sad. What really makes me sad is that after I got home,
, the way others treat me is horrible."
After saying "It's too terrible", Xia Fanxing's eyes were filled with a mixture of emotions including fear, depression, anger, and grievance.
Ning Youguang, however, kept looking at him calmly until he was sure that his story was really finished, and then slowly asked: "It's because they accused you of being 'embarrassing', 'bragging', and 'being stupid'... so you feel very sad"
It’s uncomfortable, you can’t accept them talking about you like this, can you?”
"Yes."
"So, how did you feel when they said these words?"
"Of course I was very angry at first, because I didn't think I was like this, but then I felt like what they said was right, so I started to deny myself and doubt myself..." Xia Fanxing's eyes
It started to turn red again.
Ning Youguang sat across from him quietly, listening and looking at him.
She didn't speak, but there was a quiet tenderness in her eyes.
As soon as Xia Fanxing saw her eyes, he couldn't help sobbing and burst into tears.
Ning Youguang kept watching him cry quietly without making any movement.
Xia Fanxing cried for a long time before he began to speak, "I will always remember what my father said, 'Although he has a good personality, he is a child with little ability.' At that time, the family was full of people, and everyone was looking at me.
My heart was broken, but I could only put on a fearless face, laughing and eating to cover up my embarrassment. In fact, I felt severely humiliated. For a long time, I didn’t want to see my dad at all.
, and I don’t want to see anyone who was there at the time.”
Xia Fanxing was still thinking about those unhappy past events.
After a while, Ning Youguang asked: "Is there any more?"
"Yes." Xia Fanxing closed his eyes, "There are many, many, but I don't want to talk about them now."
As if a century had passed, he whispered: "Teacher Ning, my back hurts so much. Can I get up and walk?"
"Okay." Ning Youguang nodded.
Xia Fanxing propped up his chair, stood up from his seat, and started walking around Ning Youguang's office with his back bent.
At first he walked very slowly, then gradually he stood up straighter and walked faster.1314
－－－－－－Digression－－－－－
Teacher Ning: Children who grow up under the pressure and criticism of their parents are so pitiful...