On a sunny winter afternoon, a mother and daughter walked into Ning Youguang's office through the introduction of one of her clients.
After a simple opening remarks, Ning Youguang asked the mother and daughter, "What problem do you most want to solve today?"
The mother, who looked sad and tired, looked at her indifferent daughter sitting next to her and said, "I hope my daughter can come home and live there instead of living outside alone."
Ning Youguang also glanced at his daughter who looked impatient, "After you communicated, your daughter is willing to go home and live, right?"
"Yes." The tired mother looked at Ning Youguang and said, "Teacher Ning, I heard that you are good at psychological counseling. I hope you can help me and persuade my baby so that she can go home and live.
, don’t live outside anymore.”
"Okay aunt, don't worry, let's first see why your daughter doesn't want to go home to live, but you still want her to go home?" Ning Youguang asked.
"Her friend told me that she had been followed before and it was too dangerous. I'm afraid she would be in danger if she lived alone outside again." The mother's face was full of panic and fear.
But even though the mother was so worried about her daughter, the daughter still crossed her arms over her chest in a defensive posture with an indifferent look on her face.
This mother-daughter relationship is very problematic.
Ning Youguang asked her mother, "Have you discussed with your daughter why she doesn't want to go home?"
Upon hearing her question, the daughter quickly glanced at her mother.
The mother looked at Ning Youguang, then at her daughter, and said to Ning Youguang with a sad face, "My baby doesn't want to come back because he dislikes the many things in the house. There are a lot of things in the house, but it's all us.
It’s something your family needs, and it won’t interfere with anything.”
She let out a long sigh, as if she couldn't understand why her daughter wouldn't want to live at home because there were too many things at home.
The originally indifferent daughter suddenly changed her expression when she heard her words, "Does our home have more things? There are fewer things in the garbage dump than our home."
Her face was filled with anger and frenzy, "It's so suffocating! I was in a panic and very irritable as soon as I got home."
"It's just a few things. I'll sort them out every time you come back." The mother told her daughter with a distressed look on her face.
The daughter continued to frantically say, "What's the use of just sorting it out?! There aren't that many things. If you don't throw them away if I ask you to, those rags will be your life! Look at whose house is as full as ours.
Why do you insist on me going back to live in a home that is full of garbage and is like a garbage dump?!"
"Where is the garbage? It's all useful." Mom said with a wrinkled face.
When the daughter saw her mother like this, her emotions exploded.
She stood up from the chair frantically, and yelled at her mother with her face flushed, "I don't want to tell you anymore, it doesn't make sense to you at all, so don't even think about me going home to live there. Just give up, I see you."
Out of sight, out of mind, going back will definitely shorten your life by thirty years."
"Bao..." Mom's eyes turned red instantly, and a grief-stricken expression appeared on her face.
The daughter's eyes didn't want to fall on her mother at all. She was probably extremely angry, so she clasped her fingers and said to Ning Youguang, "Teacher Ning, if you can, please help my mother get a good treatment. See what's going on."
She has a problem, or I have a problem."
She said, "I said my house was a garbage dump, but my mother said it wasn't. Now let me tell you what things are piled up in our house."
She counted them one by one, "the floor mats that have been used for ten or twenty years and are so rotten that they cannot be seen in shape, the shoes that have not been worn for four or five years, the shoes that have been left there gathering dust, the shoe boxes and storage bags that were given when I bought clothes and shoes,...
Express packaging boxes, broken umbrellas, expired food and skin care products, ointments, used bags that have been opened for a long time but not used up, moldy seasonings, frozen ingredients that have been stored for several years and are reluctant to be eaten, all kinds of rags
Unused pots and pans, as well as new pots and pans that have not been used for two or three years, various accumulated garbage bags, shopping bags, CDs from decades ago, old books, old newspapers, black paint
Hemp-black towels, all kinds of clothes that have been out of date for decades, and various electronic products that have been replaced...Teacher Ning, what do you think these are if they are not garbage? I told her countless times to throw them away.
, she just won’t throw them away, even if they are said to be useful, I was so angry that I threw them all into the trash can a few times, and she actually ran to the trash can to pick up these broken things again. Do you think she is suffocating or not?!"
She gritted her teeth and continued with a livid face, "There are also the toys and clothes I wore when I was a child. They were all moldy when I took them out of the box. I asked her to throw them away. She said she would keep them for me after I get married.
Children are lucky to wear it! Who of today’s children would want to wear such tacky clothes, not to mention that they are all moldy!!!”
"There are also dead flowers and plants at home, and the soil is dry. They are thrown on the balcony at home, and they are not thrown away or disposed of. I remember that my home used to be very big and transparent, but it was because of these things that she hoarded every year.
, the family has become so difficult to even turn around, I really don’t understand why there are such people!”
Ning Youguang patiently listened to her daughter's complaints and looked at her mother, who had lowered her head after being scolded by her daughter, "Auntie, do you know that you have a 'hoarding disorder'?"
"Hoarding disorder? My baby also told me about it, but is this also a disease?" Mom said timidly, "I am always reluctant to throw away things, and I also like to keep adding new things. Bao always asked me to throw away the things I bought in the past.
, but they can still be used. If I need to use them in the future, do I have to buy them again?! What a waste. My grandma has taught me since I was a child to 'make the best use of everything'. No matter how valuable it is, as long as it is likely to be used in the future.
Keep all your belongings and try not to throw them away. Throwing things around is not acceptable.”
Her daughter said angrily next to her, "My grandma's house also has a lot of things, but it's different from mine. My grandma's house is much more normal than mine."
"That's because your grandma has a small family," her mother retorted.
The daughter was so angry that she no longer wanted to look at her mother.
She could only say to Ning Youguang angrily and helplessly, "Teacher Ning, you see this kind of person obviously has a problem with himself, but he can always come up with 10,000 reasons to say that he is doing the right thing. What else can I do?"
"She always said, 'Maybe it will come in handy later', 'These will come in handy later.'... But in fact, after I have more things in my house, those things that are not commonly used will only be placed in the corners.
It was gathering dust inside and was completely useless. She wouldn't listen to me no matter how much I told her to leave her."
Excessive hoarding of items at home compresses living space and hinders normal life.
The mother feels that the old items are still "useful" and difficult to throw away, but the living area at home becomes crowded, making it impossible to effectively obtain items, interfering with the development of normal life, and causing her daughter's irritability.