Wait for Xiaoshi to carefully write the answer to the first question on the paper.
Ning Youguang then asked a few more questions——
“Second, what negative emotions am I harboring—hatred, trauma, anger, regret, or something else?
Third, who are the people I can never forgive?
Fourth, I want to forgive these people, I want to forgive myself, what do I need to do?”
After Xiao Shi answered them carefully one by one, new questions arose.
"Teacher Ning, I feel like I don't know myself very well. I don't know what all my dark sides are."
Ning Youguang said, "It doesn't matter. You can write as many as you can, but if you really can't, after you go back, you can ask your family, friends and classmates around you, and learn to use their strength to see yourself clearly."
"I'm sorry." Xiaoshi wanted to escape intuitively.
This time she mustered up the courage to come to Teacher Ning for psychological consultation. This was a decision she made after thinking about it for a long time. She really had no way to ask these questions to the people closer to her.
"Accepting and tolerating your true self is the first step to help yourself get out of the pain of life, so that you no longer have to deceive yourself or the whole world." Ning Youguang said, "If you don't even have the courage to face your dark side,
So how do you talk about acceptance?"
Then, she continued to ask Xiaoshi, "How many times do you have to hurt and distort yourself to cater to others and be an excellent person, but don't dare to face yourself and live a hypocritical life of your own choice?
You rationalize your behavior as a 'good person' so you choose to hide and deceive?
Is a person who even distorts and hurts himself a good person?
Do your parents want their lives to continue like yours?
How many times have you been so confident that you were willing to humble yourself and swallow your anger?
How many talents do you dare not use, but are afraid that your brilliance will illuminate the darkness of others?
How many friends do you have who can help you see you and support you in living your life?
Or do they just need you to live hypocritically in their world to satisfy their vanity?
How much willfulness and domineering do you have to construct that you are right, that you are the best, that you are better than others, to attack, control, and accuse others?
You strengthen your own weakness through the tolerance of others and the love and intolerance of others towards you.
Do you really love your parents and yourself?
There is no one else but you outside. Do you understand that all your attacks are attacks on yourself?
You chose to deceive and avoid growing up, at the expense of yourself and your family's happiness. Are you sure this is what you want?"
"I don't need it, I don't need any of this." Xiaoshi shook her head crazily and shouted loudly, "I need to accept myself, like myself, like my parents, my family... I need to live as transparently as possible
I want to live openly and openly."
Ning Youguang continued to help Xiaoshi clean up, "Transparency means truth, truth means opening your heart, returning to nature, returning to your complete, original self. You don't need to pretend, then let all these restrictions prevent you from leading to happiness.
Faith, multiplied by God knows how many times more, destroys and never creates again!”
She spoke these words so sonorously and forcefully that Xiao Shi's whole body felt as if he was being electrocuted, and he began to tremble.
After trembling, she seemed to have lost all her strength. She leaned back on the chair and could no longer speak.
Ning Youguang observed her quietly until he heard Qing Qian's steady breathing, then he gently walked to the cabinet, took out a scarf, and covered Xiao Shi's body.
When Xiaoshi woke up again, it was already half an hour later.
"Teacher Ning." Her voice was hoarse, and she looked blankly at Ning Youguang, who had been quietly by her side, "Am I asleep?"
Ning Youguang smiled softly and said, "Yes, how do you feel?"
Xiao Shi slowly sat up straight, and at the same time grasped the Hermès cashmere scarf covering her body, "I feel very warm all over."
Then, she tried to take a deep breath, and was pleasantly surprised to find——
"My chest is no longer so congested. In the past, I always felt like I couldn't breathe properly, and it felt like there was a stone weighing on my heart. Now I feel that the stone is gone."
"That's good." Ning Youguang smiled.
"Thank you, Teacher Ning." Xiao Shi said naa.
"You're welcome." Ning Youguang said, "Today is still the beginning. When you go back, the belief I implanted in your subconscious through hypnosis will continue to help you clean up your inner trauma. These days, you need to observe your changes carefully.
."
Although Xiaoshi didn't know how much she had changed after today, she knew that the more she asked Teacher Ning for help, the more she would gain.
So, she asked again, "Teacher Ning, do you need me to do anything else?"
Ning Youguang smiled and handed her a few more pieces of paper, "Please make a list of the names of the people who need your forgiveness, and write a short message to each person. If the list is long, you can write a few more.
If you write again next time, you don’t need to send these letters.”
Because time was limited, she asked Xiaoshi to go back and do this.
Then, she handed Xiaoshi another piece of paper and said to her, "Now please carefully record what I said on the paper."
"I am a lovely, noble and caring person.
The world is my friend and lover and will always meet my needs.
No matter where I go, there will be people who love me and like me.
I am very smart and capable, and I can realize my dreams.
…”
Write down the little poem carefully——
"What you are writing now are the beliefs that can inspire your strength." Ning Youguang said, "It takes time to develop new habits. Therefore, when re-constructing your own thinking model, you must put in words that can inspire your strength every day.
Read Faith once, if possible, read it in the morning, otherwise read it at night before going to bed. You can also stick faith notes in your car, on your mobile phone, in your bag, and deepen your connection with them anytime, anywhere. They help
Your role will become greater.”
Xiaoshi nodded obediently and carefully put the paper into her bag.
"Teacher Ning, I will try my best to do what you told me... What if I still fail in the end?"
"All groundbreaking activities follow one truth. When you are fully committed to doing something, you can change your destiny. The door to the world will be opened for you, and courage will bring talent, ability and magical adventures.
."
"What if I want to give up halfway?"
"Then tell yourself, 'No, your mission has not been completed yet, and you have not completely gotten rid of the influence of the shadow.' If you still want to escape, you need to keep asking yourself, my role in this matter."
What's the responsibility? Why would I let something like this happen to me?"
Look at Xiao Shi's indecision.
Ning Youguang added, "Since you are willing to walk into my office, you must come with an urgent desire to change yourself. When people make up their mind to do something, they will definitely overcome inertia and resistance.
, because the power of determination is stronger than the power of pursuing self-deception and self-narcosis.”
Xiaoshi encouraged herself, "I will work hard."
Ning Youguang smiled and said, "You can also use some methods to help yourself strengthen your beliefs."
"In what way?" Xiao Shi asked.
"What do you think nourishes your soul the most?" Ning Youguang asked.
"Flowers, aromatherapy, traveling, eating in a restaurant with a good environment..." Xiaoshi listed a few items carefully.
Ning Youguang said, "Then when you go back, you can always carefully prepare a sumptuous meal for yourself, and light a scented candle of your choice when you get home from work in the evening. If you like flowers, buy yourself flowers. If you like them,
Just play some soothing music for yourself. Or, get dressed up and watch a long-awaited movie, or go to a beautiful restaurant that you have been paying attention to for a long time to enjoy afternoon tea or brunch.”
"Yeah." A smile appeared on Xiaoshi's face, "I feel very happy thinking about this."
Ning Youguang also laughed, "Many times, if you carefully observe the people around you who seem to be high-frequency and high-energy, in fact, they are not always so high-energy. They are just better at nourishing their souls than ordinary people.
"
Xiao Shi thought for a while and said, "You mean, I should learn to nourish my soul in daily life, right?"
Ning Youguang nodded, "Yes, for example, if you make yourself in a good mood in the morning, your mood will be better throughout the day. Treat yourself like a precious guest, and you will become noble. How do you treat yourself?
, the world will treat you the same way; if you care about yourself, respect yourself, and affirm yourself, others will treat you the same way you treat yourself. If you need the love and recognition of others, you must know how to love yourself first and affirm yourself first.
."
The poem is written thoughtfully.
After a while, she asked, "Teacher Ning, is it because I don't love myself that I haven't met anyone who loves me very much since I was a child?"
Ning Youguang said, “This is precisely because of the innate defense mechanism of our souls. Once we deliberately suppress a certain trait, we will attract people who are more likely to show this trait, so that we can see ourselves in them.
Your own image. From a psychological perspective, if a person wants to get the love of others, he must first establish self-love. If he just disguises his appearance and does not pay attention to his heart, then the opposite sex he attracts will also be
People who are used to pretending."
"How should I identify this projected image, and how should I get rid of this vicious cycle?" Xiaoshi felt that this was a problem that had troubled her for a long time, "I want to have a healthy intimate relationship."
"The phenomenon of projection on the self-level is very easy to identify. If we just 'feel' the existence of someone or something, then it will not bring us projection. If we are affected by someone or something,
, then it is very likely to carry our projection. The shortcomings of others in our eyes are almost all projections of the shortcomings in our own hearts." Ning Youguang said, "As long as we admit and accept certain negative traits in our hearts, others will show
This characteristic will not affect us. Only in this way can we get along with others sincerely."
"You mean that all the characteristics we can see in others exist in ourselves." Xiao Shi said, "I usually like to pick on others, but is it actually because I like to pick on myself?"
"Yes." Ning Youguang said with a smile, "Treat others the same way you treat yourself. When you can forgive and accept yourself, you will naturally be able to forgive and accept others. If you are willing to open your heart
If you open the door and are willing to truly look at yourself and accept yourself, you will fall in love with yourself and become calm and peaceful. Moreover, you can also share your love with others. Once this virtuous cycle process starts, your changes will not only
Not just your own life, but by changing the people around you, you will soon find a change in the way you get along with others."
There was an uncontrollable smile on Xiao Shi's face, "So, if I want a healthy intimate relationship, I need to guide my own behavior, neither deliberately suppressing myself nor denying myself, so that I can turn my shortcomings into advantages.
Yes or no?"
"Yes." Ning Youguang praised Xiao Shi, "You understand it very well."
"Ah, I know." Xiaoshi said in surprise, "Just like you said in the book, admitting and accepting your imperfect self is a very important thing for a person to have a complete life.
"
"We must forgive ourselves for our imperfections, because imperfections are part of human nature. When we have a new understanding of the relationship between the inner world and the world around us, we can use this understanding to guide our lives. Re-
Discover those qualities that we can hide." Ning Youguang is very happy that Xiao Shi can understand his meaning well, "Once we burst through the soap bubbles composed of false ideas in our brains, we can recognize the true appearance of our inner world.
, when you can face up to the dark side of your heart and all your shortcomings, you will realize the positive significance of these 'shortcomings', and your life will undergo earth-shaking changes."
The more Xiaoshi listened, the more excited she became, "I must learn to admit myself, accept myself, and be my own friend. No matter how long this process takes!"
In short, she couldn't wait to see her future after transformation.
Time spent communicating with each other goes by very quickly.
On this day, Xiaoshi came to the National University of Science and Technology in the morning, and she reluctantly said goodbye to Ning Youguang until the sun went down.
noon.
Ning Youguang took her to have a light meal at "Xiao Sixi" in the snack street outside the University of Science and Technology of China campus.
"Teacher Ning, thank you for your guidance and help today."
Standing at the door of Ning Youguang's office, Xiaoshi hugged Ning Youguang for the third time.
"You're welcome." Ning Youguang smiled softly, "The most important thing is to thank you for your brave little poem."
Xiao Shi laughed at her words, "I want to thank myself."
When she said this, she still felt uncontrollably shy, but it was undeniable that she was happy.
Her heart told her - "She likes to be loved by herself."
Ning Youguang sent Xiaoshi downstairs thoughtfully.
"I know that after you go back, you will definitely have a hard time adapting to the truly changed life you want, but if you persist, you will definitely succeed. I have helped countless clients like you."
Her warm gaze fell on Xiaoshi's face, "No matter how long this process goes, I will always be with you."
Xiaoshi's eyes turned red again, "I'm so lucky to meet Teacher Ning."
Ning Youguang smiled gently and warned patiently.
"When you get home, remember to stand in front of the mirror every day and tell yourself in the mirror, 'I am...I am...' and repeat each positive trait enough times until you no longer feel it.
Until the emotions fluctuate."
This day, at 8pm, Weibo.
[An ordinary person: The fifth hexagram "Need" in the "Book of Changes" says: "Youfu, Guangheng, Zhenji." It means, "Only when we have enough courage to face the objective truth, we will not
Only when you deceive yourself and are not swayed by illusions can you clearly understand the direction forward, do things smoothly, and get good results." - This is also the true meaning of exploring the shadow of the soul.]
[An ordinary person: If we do not judge ourselves and others, we can naturally usher in peace of mind. Good luck! @七二家客服院: May I ask, teacher, how can we welcome peace of mind in this impetuous era?
What about peace of mind?]
…
This day.
Ming Jinxin asked Ning Youguang to come home for dinner.
As soon as she got out of the elevator and before she reached the door of Ning's house, she heard the lyrical cello sound slowly flowing from the Ning's house - a beautiful and gentle melody, it was "Swan".
Soon, she pressed the doorbell, and the door was opened by workers from inside the house.
At a glance, she saw Ning Youyu wearing a pressed white shirt, black overalls, and a pair of brand new leather shoes, sitting on a chair at the dining table playing the cello like an elegant little prince.
Full sense of ceremony.
Seeing this scene, she was not in a hurry to enter the house. She lazily leaned against the door and picked up her phone to take pictures.
Ning Youguang, who was in the room, raised his head and glanced at her, with a bright smile on his fair and tender face.
The action of playing the piano in his hand is also pretty good.
Ming Jinxin wore a soft outfit and sat on the sofa drinking tea.
"It was a nice day in the morning. It rained when it said it would rain." Seeing Ning Youguang coming, a bright smile appeared on her face, "You didn't get wet, did you?"
"No." Ning Youguang smiled, "I drove here, but there was a bit of traffic on the road."
"Traffic jams are annoying enough." Ming Jinxin said, "Hurry inside, it's cold outside."
Ning Youguang walked in, handed the bag in his hand to the worker, took off his coat, then bent down to take off his black boots, and put on brand new plush pink slippers.
"The new one I bought, doesn't it look good?" Ming Jinxin saw her eyes falling on her feet and asked with a smile.
"It looks good." Ning Youguang felt that the slippers were quite comfortable to wear, "Very comfortable."
"Shall I buy you two more pairs?" Ming Jinxin said.
"No need." Ning Youguang quickly shook his head, "Occupy space."
Ming Jinxin said, "Let's put it in Wu Sheng's study room. You will feel comfortable when you go there." 1314
－－－－－－Digression－－－－－
Today’s update is 20,000, thank you all the little angels for your support~
I wish the angels of the college entrance examination to perform exceptionally~