Chapter 303 Do you want my help?

Author: nest eating little orange

A month goes by in a blink of an eye.

I received unexpected attention in the company. Although I was still very busy, my salary was greatly increased.

Before entering, I would never have imagined that my salary could be increased by one-third in just over two months.

After receiving a salary that was quite generous to me, I felt uneasy... No, I went home excited.

Compared with money, today is a more important day to me.

The one-month agreement ends as soon as it crosses 0 o'clock. In other words, you can meet her.

Really, it was so lonely to only hear voices and see news for a month. I almost couldn't control the thought of looking for her.

To put it bluntly, it is because of her support that I have been able to live in confusion all these years, or that I am able to make practical changes now.

It would be a lie to say that I want to express my gratitude to her urgently. More importantly, I want to make sure that she is still willing to see me.

Um···

Excitement, fear, uneasiness, all kinds of emotions were intertwined in my mind.

It's already 0 o'clock.

I held my cell phone and tried to dial the number several times.

But I still gave up.

By this time, after such a long time, she should have gotten used to living without her, and had fallen asleep long ago.

Although I couldn't hear any dissatisfaction with myself from my words, and I still care about myself, have I actually discovered the fact that I am trash that is not worth mentioning?

Ahhh.

I do have low self-esteem.

But unlike others, I have a real and undissipable inferiority complex because I have indeed lived as garbage until now.

Before today, I had not been able to sleep well for several days in a row, and the same is true today.

I still have illusions.

In other words, I don't want to think about it anymore... If I really lose her, how can I really live independently from now on? Do I have that kind of courage? Will I collapse immediately and fall into the whirlpool again?

Whenever I think that maybe she has noticed that there are more outstanding men than me who are worthy of trust, I shudder. Obviously I know that it is natural, but... it is precisely because it is so natural that I am afraid.

To such an extent.

——

It's already 0 o'clock.

Is Ah Yao sleeping at this time?

Did you have a good dinner?

Is the quilt well covered?

Is it because you are too tired from work that you go home and just sleep without caring about anything?

···

I really want to see you right away.

Na.

It's already 0 o'clock, right?

If I go there now, I won’t be disliked, right?

Na?

What is the relationship between the female colleague next to you and you? She always appears in the background of calls once, twice, three times... countless times.

Na?

Do you already want to break up with me?

Will you say something cruel tomorrow?

Na?

What should I do?

Na?

Why did you leave me?

So scared...

It was obvious that I was so happy before, and my life was so fulfilling before. Why should I give it up so easily?

——

In the end, I still couldn't hold it back.

To be honest, I really can't stand it anymore and don't want to stay in a cramped space and toss and turn.

I want to see my girlfriend.

I want to caress her soft and slender black hair.

I miss her smell.

What I want most urgently is not to use my phone, but to actually touch her and feel the reality of her presence.

Is it because of fear?

Afraid of being eliminated soon.

In other words, I want to break the problem. If she gives me a little more time, I will definitely get better.

I know that I have tried my best to become an ordinary person from a piece of rubbish.

But this is far from enough.

If a person who was originally a worthless trash wants to become an outstanding man who is truly worthy of her, he must drain all his potential, even to the point where his limbs bleed and his body breaks apart - only then can he barely meet the conditions that deserve her.

Bar?

I don't know what I'm thinking about.

I just felt my head was burning, and I couldn't help but pick up the phone and want to make an appointment with her.

【Can I meet you?】

The time is at 0.06.

Message, no reply.

I waited for a long time but no reply.

To be honest, I was shocked for a moment. The scene that was so natural and should not have been the right thing to say back at this time was placed in front of me, and it shocked my inferiority complex to the point of nausea.

What exactly is going to happen?

I am now——

It's not like asking for a hug or begging to rely on her again.

ah.

I gave up.

Anyway, I want to apologize to her.

Yes, it's an apology.

I'm sorry that everything so far has really caused you trouble.

I think, at least I have to convey this sentence to her. Even if she already knows that I am garbage, she starts to want to stuff all the memories that I confused before into the trash can. At some point, she will definitely want to completely let me out of her.

The world disappears.

So——

Before that, I want to apologize.

Is it an apology or an excuse to go see her?

"Patter patter——"

It's raining heavily outside the window.

The sound of the rain makes me bored, even more annoying than my boss forcing me to do more work.

Why?

I didn't want to think about it, so I just got up from the bed uncontrollably, put on my shoes and put my hand on the cold door handle.

“···”
To be continued...