And he got to know Xuanye during this disguised exile
That period of time can be said to be the most absurd period for him
After arriving in Jiacheng and far away from the Deng family, he no longer had to carefully conceal his true nature.
Especially now when we have nothing but money
Some people around him sent beauties, both male and female, and he accepted them all.
He thought he could go back to his old life
Playing songs every night, falling asleep with this stunning person in my arms every day
Later I discovered that sometimes reason really doesn’t help much.
He knew clearly in his heart that the incident that led to his "exile" was not worth thinking about anymore, but he couldn't help but recall those vicious eyes and twisted smile every night.
He began to have insomnia all day long, and his face was even more devoid of human color.
It was under such circumstances that he met Xuan Ye
He still remembers the feeling of his heart suddenly stalling when he saw the figure holding a drink and sipping it after pushing open the door of the club.
He didn't want to go to that party. Those high-ranking disciples in Jia City were trying to establish relationships. He, a man from Cheng City, came to join in the fun!
Although when I left the place where I was born and raised, I had the thought of making the old man at home regret it.
But just thinking about it
His relationship with Deng Yan is not as cold as outsiders think.
Although they are not from the same mother
But he really thinks of him as a younger brother
Although when the child grows up, he will no longer be as well-behaved and intelligent as before, but after so many years of pain, how can he say he doesn't care and stop caring?
Maybe the upper beam is really not straight and the lower beam is crooked
The old man is like that, he is like that, and his younger brother is like that, even worse than them.
He didn't know if that little kid could really gain happiness from playing and singing every night. He only knew that he would feel so empty every time he woke up from a dream.
Even if you are closely entangled with someone late at night, when the morning light appears, what is left is only coldness, a coldness that goes deep into your bones.
And that child grew up before he even noticed it, and was even taller than him
But the price of growth is that people become suspicious. The person who obediently called him "brother" will never be found again.
This made it impossible for him to preach to the other party, especially when he himself was hanging around the flower field every night.
But ignoring is not heartless. He doesn't know what other men would do in his position. Maybe at least they won't choose to escape as weakly as he does.
Even though he has never said it out loud, he still loves this younger brother.
He knew very well what the old man in his family meant, but he never thought of resisting. Maybe this was the reason.
When he came to Jiacheng, he was suddenly far away from everything he had ever cared about. He didn't even know what he should do.
Those grievances, those concerns, those unspoken grievances, when he got off the plane and looked at the sky in Jia City, they suddenly lost their weight.
He didn't know whether this was good or bad, he just felt very tired.
In fact, before coming to this humid city, his dissatisfaction with being "exiled" even gave him the idea of taking over the Deng family.
The complaints against the old man reached a point where they could no longer be suppressed during that incident.
But after I actually boarded the plane to Jacheng, when I looked at the rolling clouds outside, the thought that had been so deeply impressed on my mind could no longer be found.
After all, he still didn't get the old man's "true inheritance". Not to mention his disdain for those illegitimate children, he couldn't really treat him as a stranger to the last straw that broke his mother's spirit - his younger brother.
Then, after being indulged day by day in Jacheng, the thought that once occurred to him was so far away that he even wondered if it had appeared in a dream.
What's wrong with being a dandy? He asked himself this over and over again
Perhaps there is nothing to worry about in his heart. Like a sword without a sheath, his absurdity is even worse than those of those who are unlearned and unskilled and take advantage of the glory of their elders.
Just like this, he quickly became their "good friend"
I was dragged to that party anyway
Then he met that person
That person who seems very out of tune with the noise around him.
Even though it is said to be a high-end club, it is actually just a place dressed in civilized clothes.
This can even be said to be a gathering place for beauties in Jacheng.
Naturally, the people in the room would not feel wronged by themselves. They would hug each other from left to right, and they would be happy!
But the person he unconsciously put in his eyes was drinking. The white wine was swaying slightly in the transparent goblet, exuding an intoxicating smell.
He didn't even think twice before sitting next to this stranger.
The other person didn't even raise his eyelids, he just continued to sip the contents of the cup, as if what he was holding was his world.
From his angle, he could clearly see the other person's wrists exposed from his sleeves due to his raised movements while drinking. They were so fair that they didn't even look like a man's.
When he entered the door, he sat over without letting others introduce him. At this moment, he couldn't help but regret it, and began to think about the identity of the other party.
Because of his original plan, he didn't pay much attention to the people coming to this party.
This made it even more difficult for him to think.
The other party's appearance is very delicate, but his whole temperament is very cold.
From the moment he sat next to the other party, he found that no one came over to say hello, which made him feel strangely happy.
He never knew he was such a possessive person
He couldn't imagine what this person would do if he was held in someone else's arms.
He noticed that the curvature of the other person's eyes had a cold and hard look, and his thin lips were also said to represent ruthlessness and meanness.
But he had such a cold face that could even be called indifferent, but he saw the light in the other person's eyes was like clear water waves, astonishingly soft.
For the first time, he was worried about whether he would leave a bad impression on others. With some apprehension, he went to strike up a conversation with another person, "Hello, I'm Deng Rui, can I make a friend?"
After he opened his mouth, he felt annoyed at his seemingly slutty words.
He thought a lot about the other person's possible reactions, but he never thought that the person would pull him in for a passionate kiss, and then asked him with a smile, "Are you from here?"
He admitted that he didn't care about his image after coming to Jacheng, but he didn't believe that seeing the person who introduced him to the door would cause others to misunderstand that he was one of the club's servers.
Later, I thought that the other person had been drinking with his head down, so maybe he didn’t see who he came in with.
His tone was quite calm, so he replied, "If I were the young master here, would you take care of me?"
"Um"
He still remembered that when the other party nodded, the eyes facing him seemed to have gathered all the starlight, with a soft and soothing brightness.
Although he looks so cold, those eyes are not out of place at all.
And he lost his voice for some reason and just looked at each other blankly
This was the first time they met, and it was only later that he figured out why he fell in love with this person at first sight.
"There is always that one person who makes you feel like you have met a completely different version of yourself." He still remembered what Ji Qinglan said when looking at an old photo of a woman.
During those days in country M, when he was caressing the photos of the two of them over and over again, he understood that sentence
Ayano, just like another self
a completely different self
He has those qualities or attitudes that he wished he had but never got.
Seeing him is like seeing another possible version of myself
He remembered Ji Qinglan's sigh, "If we can't be together, it would be better if we never met."
At that time, looking at the other person's distant eyes as if looking into another world, he just felt that he couldn't understand it.
Until I met Ayano...
Only then did he realize that there is a kind of attraction that is beyond his control. Even if you are afraid in your heart, you still can't look away.
Like a disaster, there is no escape, no avoidance
It was also at that time that he clearly understood why he could withdraw so calmly when the boy he had been with for a long time deceived him and even asked for revenge.
Even some of the resentment was directed at the old man in the family, not the boy.
I only felt a little bit of indescribable guilt towards that boy. When I recalled those vicious eyes in my midnight dream,
He is indeed a selfish person
He was just lonely, so he wanted to tie him up. He gave the boy a lot, but he didn't give him love.
He always thought that it was Ji Qinglan's years of teaching and the bad things at home that made him not believe in the so-called love.
After meeting Xuan Ye, he realized that he just hadn't met that person
The person who seems to make the semicircle of his life complete
He thought that after he understood the feelings he had never understood before, he and Xuanye could be happy
Later I found out that he only encountered love but never learned how to deal with it
He still remembered that after they had sex for the first time, Yanye said softly while stroking his hair, "Be as flamboyant as the sun. I'm really afraid that you will be aroused by others in the future."
"Then treat me well," he remembered answering the other person while stroking his long hair.
At that time, he was thinking about which barber shop was better and he must cut his hair.
But he didn’t think deeply about the other person’s words, even though when he raised his eyes, he clearly saw his dark eyes.
Perhaps, at that time, the other party had already seen him clearly and his "vanity" that he had never noticed.
Now think about it, when the two of them were together, even though he was one year older, the person who took care of him was always the other person.
And he is just hungry, even greedy, enjoying the other person's care or pampering.
What's good about him?
Now he doesn't know why the other party agreed to be with him in the first place
He has a good skin, but the most indispensable thing in their circle is beauty.
He and the other person are very compatible in bed, but he doesn't believe that based on the other person's identity, he can't find someone else who is more compatible with him.
Moreover, his reputation is not good either in Yancheng or Jiacheng. Those behaviors can be considered romantic in their circle, but among ordinary people, they are definitely a gangster.
He really didn't know why Xuanye agreed, even though he was very curious in his heart. Based on an unspeakable uneasiness and secret joy, he never asked
Now it seems that there is probably no chance for me to ask.