He didn't know that the dream had been left behind him, lost somewhere in the vast chaos of the city... - Francis Fitzgerald, "The Great Gatsby"
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There is no doubt that Ruochu was a dream that Rousseau had been having since childhood. In this dream, she became his bride countless times. When she was a child, this bride wore a white princess dress and stood beside her like a doll.
, the shape of that wedding was just like the games we often played when we were children. Although it was a house-like wedding, it was already Rousseau’s greatest imagination of beauty. Later, when he grew up, the shape of this wedding appeared in his dreams.
The dream was constantly enriched, until the recent dream was very close to the real wedding scene prepared for him at home, but Rousseau woke up with a start.
This was the first time that I dreamed of getting married to Ruochu and I woke up. Every other time, I still had unfinished thoughts.
Maybe you will get tired of dreaming about the same content for a long time? Otherwise, what kind of explanation would there be?
Rousseau loved Ruochu, or so he believed.
But whether this love will change with the passage of time and changes in the external environment, Rousseau has not carefully reflected on it. In fact, what he should reflect on most is that from the beginning, he stubbornly believed and always insisted on Ruochu's love.
What is the difference between love and the kind of child who is obsessed with something because he can't get it and his possessiveness cannot be satisfied? If he gets it, will he still yearn for it and cherish it?
Rousseau was competitive. From childhood to adulthood, he had never been satisfied with what he wanted, except for Ruochu, so Ruochu became what he believed to be the most beautiful thing in the world. If this beauty is
It is built on the basis of what cannot be obtained, so once it is obtained, will it still be beautiful?
Ruochu was attracted to her, and he loved Ruochu. From the first time he saw her, she was a condescending little princess, or a fairy who could not eat the fireworks of the world, so he regarded her as his own.
A goal in life, the process of reaching this goal is full of the pleasure of conquest, especially for people like Rousseau who rarely fail to achieve the goal. The more difficult the goal is to achieve, the more pleasure it will be. But now once it is achieved
, he was confused instead.
The goal is achieved, and Ruochu's halo that represents eternal beauty because it is unattainable disappears. Is Ruochu still the same Ruochu in his dream?
In other words, if the dream is beautiful, is it necessary to bring it into reality and secularize it? In this way, he will lose the dream forever. Ruochu also easily turned into a little princess who never eats fireworks around him.
Little woman, he didn't know if this was a good thing.
In fact, Rousseau did not understand love, even more than Ruochu at the beginning. If Ruochu fell in love with his godfather out of blindness, then Rousseau did not love a specific person from the beginning to the end. Perhaps, it was just self-esteem.
To put it bluntly, it is vanity.
In Rousseau's eyes, Xia Tian cannot be compared with Ruo Chu. Just like so many girls who worked tirelessly to send him love letters through various channels, he never thought that one day he would fall in love with them, including Xia Tian.
At first, he paid attention to her just because she was Ruochu's good friend, no, the best friend, the only friend. This had to make her look at her with admiration. After all, it was very useful to have someone of your own next to your girlfriend.
Necessary, so he did not hesitate to lower his worth to please Xia Tian. The original purpose was just to get her to say a few nice words for him in front of Ruochu. This kind of behavior is the most common way for boys to pursue girls.
There is nothing wrong with this trick.
In life, the plot of falling in love with a girlfriend's friend has become so clichéd that it can be seen everywhere. Rousseau was confident that he would not fall into this cliché, but when he saw Xia Tian falling in front of him, he couldn't help but feel pain for no reason in his heart.
Let him face it, does he really not understand his feelings?
Now looking back on every bit of getting along with Xia Tian along the way, Rousseau discovered that he actually ignored a lot of things. Either he was slow or too selfish. With so many hints, if he were a bystander, he would have noticed at a glance that Xia Tian was interested in him.
His feelings and dedication, but he has always enjoyed Xia Tian's contribution unconditionally. He has never thought about the reason for this contribution, and he enjoys it with peace of mind.
She has always been so unknown and inconspicuous, but now she reminds everyone of her existence in such a way, which makes Rousseau have to face it and reflect. It can be said that it is not too late, as long as he can see his feelings clearly, everything
It's not too late.
If Rousseau was willing to think about it calmly, whether he would be happy with Ruochu or with Xia Tian, the answer would be very simple. Unfortunately, he could not use this assumption, or he would not let go easily.
The childhood dream was deeply rooted in his mind, so he could only suffer, contradictory and entangled. No one could escape this process as long as he was in the process of awakening.
But one thing is certain, since Xia Tian fell ill these days, his heart has been entirely in that ward.
No matter when Ruochu came over, she would see Rousseau most of the time. Xia Tian always tried to explain, consciously or unconsciously, that Rousseau had just arrived, or that she asked him to bring her a book and leave immediately.
It seems that she was very afraid that Ruochu would misunderstand her and Rousseau, but Rousseau and Ruochu were very calm about this.
Ruochu can already vaguely feel something now. If Rousseau and Xia Tian can confess this matter to her, she will help them both. However, Xia Tian wants her to treat Rousseau well. However, Xia Tian wants her to not let Rousseau down.
, this makes her unable to fulfill their wishes, because she has already promised to Xia Tian, and she has also made a promise to Rousseau. If she goes back on her word at this time, even if it is for him and Xia Tian, people will mistakenly think that she is for Xia Tian.
Humbert, even for the promise to Rousseau, she did not dare to change the engagement easily.
The three of them seemed calm on the surface, but in fact, they had all fallen into a deep emotional whirlpool, and no one could escape.
With Xia Tian's intelligence and sensitivity, how could she not feel Rousseau's changes in the past few days and Ruochu's doubts? Rousseau's change should have made her happy, but now it made her miserable, just like Ruochu when he decided to marry
After Rousseau heard Xiaochuan's confession, he felt the same pain, but there was a difference. Ruochu felt unwilling to watch happiness pass by, but in Xia Tian, she had never had any extravagant hopes, so she couldn't be called disappointed.
It's just that her thoughts were suddenly responded to in this situation, and she didn't want to hurt Ruochu because of herself. After all, she should be a happy bride-to-be now.
So, while she was lying on the hospital bed for the past few days, she made a decision. It was a decision that was made through struggle and constant denial. This was not easy for her, but she had to do this in order to
Peace of mind.
…
"How about this one?" Ruochu was already wearing her fifth wedding dress. When she stood in front of Rousseau and asked Rousseau for his opinion for the fifth time, there was a hint of impatience in her voice.
Rousseau would take a quick look at each item, and then casually say "very good" or "very good", so Ruochu went to change it again. She wanted to find a set that would amaze him, something that would appeal to her at first glance, but it seemed like this
There is little hope, Rousseau's mind is not here at all.
"That's it." Ruochu said lazily, saying it was really not worth spending time on this.
Qin Nan wanted to order a wedding dress for Ruochu in France, but there was no time at all, and Ruochu didn't have the intention, so he thought that he could solve the matter with Rousseau and save his mother from having to worry about it.
"What are the plans for the afternoon? Shall we go have lunch first?" After coming out of the bridal shop, the two of them got into Ruochu's car. Ruochu asked Rousseau for his opinion.
"Well, there is something unfinished at the website. I don't want to eat yet. Why don't you send me back to the website first?" Rousseau said.
Ruochu started the car without saying anything.
When the car stopped downstairs at Qin's house, "Ruoruo, why don't you go to the restaurant to eat, I can accompany you." Rousseau also felt a little bit regretful that he didn't even have lunch with Ruochu after working hard all morning. Besides,
Qin's also has a restaurant.
"Oh, it's okay. You can go about your business first. I'm not hungry either." Ruochu replied understandingly.
Rousseau smiled and opened the door to get out of the car.
"Rousseau..." Ruochu called him unconsciously.
"Huh?" Rousseau had already pushed open the car door on his side. When he heard Ruochu calling him, he turned around and looked at her with one foot in the door and the other outside.
"Well, it's nothing. You can go." Ruochu hesitated to speak. Rousseau thought for a while, "If you have anything to do, just tell me. If you have anything to hide from me, I'm your husband."
Ruochu gritted his teeth and said, "If you really fall in love with someone, tell me anytime, I will give you freedom and bless you."
Rousseau was startled for a moment, then said a random "hmm" and turned to get out of the car, "Including now." Ruochu added.
Rousseau's movements stopped completely. He could hear there was something in Ruochu's words, "Why do you say that?" and turned his head again.
"Ah, it's nothing. I just want to be fair to you, so go ahead." She couldn't say more deeply. Ruochu was afraid that Rousseau would misunderstand her and wanted to regret it. In fact, she was doing it for his own good. If she got married, she would still look at him now.
In this way, it is better for both of us to be completely liberated.
When I agreed to Rousseau's proposal, I thought he would be happy. It would be good if one of the two people was happy, but if both of them were unhappy, then there would be no need for this marriage.
"Okay, I remember." Rousseau opened the door and got out of the car, without looking back this time. The speaker meant it, but the listener also meant it.
Looking at Rousseau's back, Ruochu let out a long sigh. Why is he living so tiredly at such a young age? Who should be blamed for this? Who should be blamed?