I went to bed very late every day, and when I woke up in the morning, I would feel sick and vomited when I saw food. I couldn't calm down at all, and I felt extremely irritable.
"Ling'er, I want to go outside for a walk, don't follow me."
"Your Majesty, it's no good. Your Majesty has also heard what the Emperor said. If something goes wrong with Your Majesty, I can't bear it." Ling'er on the side replied respectfully, but her words were full of rejection.
"Really? Do you think there is a chance that something could go wrong with me?" In fact, after I came back, there were many palace maids and eunuchs watching me, and there were also a few secret guards watching me secretly. I was afraid that I would drink a few cups of tea a day and walk a lot.
They all know the walking route very well. Otherwise, I would have probably died in the first few days after arriving.
Not wanting to say any more, I walked straight out. Although they didn't quite listen to me, they didn't dare to forcibly stop my freedom.
In fact, it is almost the beginning of spring, and the weather is very good. But I am very confused, and I am walking around irritably. Finally, I walked outside the cold palace again, and the peaceful singing sounded again. I got up, jumped, and flew in the direction of the singing.
go.
I floated softly into a deserted courtyard, fearing to disturb the tranquility of the singing.
In the courtyard, the grass in front of the courtyard is miserable, and the sound of the piano is still melodious, but unfortunately there are fewer people to listen. The singing is peaceful and distant, but how can it relieve all kinds of melancholy.
The woman, dressed in plain clothes, closed her eyes and sang a song, with a happy look on her face.
I can still see her beauty back then through her exquisite facial features - the straight bridge of her nose, the smiling corners of her lips, but the fine lines at the corners of her eyes inadvertently revealed her age.
The pink jade that once was carved and the pearls that once were round and round have all withered in the world of mortals. In the desolate cold palace, wrinkles creep up on the cheeks little by little.
Beauty's old age is always more tragic than that of ordinary women. She understands that she was beautiful in the past, and she had exchanged that beauty for something, but now that her beauty is no longer beautiful, beauty's old age is cruel after all.
But she could be so comfortable and peaceful in the face of such cruelty.
At the end of the song, she turned around and saw me, her eyes a little surprised. But soon, they dimmed again.
"Sorry to bother you. I came with the singing, and the sound of your piano makes people peaceful." After all, it is not good to intrude on other people's places and disturb others.
She moved her lips but didn't say anything. She looked at me for a long time. I thought that a woman in the cold palace must be sensitive. Maybe she had misunderstood something.
I was about to turn around and leave. She asked me to stay. "Mother, please come in and have a cup of tea!"
Her voice was hoarse after experiencing vicissitudes of life, but it was very comfortable to listen to.
"Yeah, okay." I responded and followed her in. I wasn't surprised that she called me empress. You should have understood it by looking at the way I was dressed.
"The cold palace is rough and cold, don't be offended by it," he said apologetically while instructing the old lady to make tea.
"So what if you have fine clothes and good food? If you have a bad mentality, the food will be tasteless and difficult to swallow. What's wrong with the simple food? If you are in a good mood, you can eat whatever you want." I sighed, if there was no crisis of being betrayed, there would be no
There is nothing wrong with the cold words and provocations from others while living in the Akiba Courtyard of the Prime Minister's Mansion.
"What the empress said is that all glory and wealth are just fleeting. If you think about it, it will be the same wherever you go. I didn't expect that the empress would understand this truth at this age." She thought: If she could have been more than ten years earlier.
How wonderful it would be to understand this truth, but it is so lovely that you have to lose it and feel pain to understand it.
I looked at the guzheng on the case, and there were a few words on it that were somewhat mottled. After looking carefully, I recognized them, and couldn't help but whisper: "Shu Fei. Wanyin"
"It's all in the past. I see my empress is also a person who knows how to play the piano. Why are you still attracted to my hoarse and rough voice? No one has been here for a long time. It's been a long time." She looked at the desolate yard,
A look of loneliness on his face.
"It's not the music that attracts me, but God, that kind of peaceful atmosphere. I'm afraid I'll never be able to play it again."
"Is your Majesty worried?"
"Who in this palace doesn't have troubles?"
"The emperor doesn't favor you now? But you can see that your empress is as beautiful as a fairy, and her clothes are gorgeous and noble. It shouldn't be like that." Concubine Shu looked at the woman in front of her. Even if she was in her prime, she was not as good as her by more than three points, and she was wearing the same material.
It is very rare and precious, and it is impossible for ordinary favored concubines to wear it.
"That's not what I want. I would rather just be an ordinary-looking woman, slowly getting old, living a homely life, growing older day by day in a rocking chair. Unfortunately, that can only be a luxury wish. Everything,
It's all destroyed." I looked out the window at the desolate courtyard and said calmly.
At this time, the old mama brought the tea. I looked at the old mama's eyes strangely. She seemed to know me.
"Put those troubles aside for now. If your Majesty doesn't mind, just drink the scented tea I have here." As she said that, she took matters into her own hands.
She used special pliers to clean the white porcelain tea set with boiling water very skillfully. She looked up and said to me with a smile: "This is called White Crane Bathing."
I smiled and understood.
Then, she drained the hot tea set. She took out the tea leaves with a teaspoon and put them into the tea set.
"This is called Guanyin entering the palace. It's a pity that I don't have a good Tieguanyin here." She explained while weighing the amount of tea.
After the amount of tea reaches five-fifths of the capacity of the tea set, she lifts up the kettle with boiling water on one side, raises the boiling water and pours it into the teapot or lid to make the tea leaves rotate; after the water is eight-fifths full, she immediately adds more water.
Lid. "The pot is hanging high and the water is high. Doesn't it look very beautiful? The spring breeze will blow on my face next." As she said that, she gently scraped off the floating white foam with the lid of the pot or the lid of the urn, so focused on the tea.
Pour it into the juxtaposed teacups one after another
"After Guan Gong inspected the city, Han Xin ordered the troops." When the tea was poured a little, she dripped it evenly into each tea cup little by little.
I nodded knowingly, watching her skillful tea ceremony, and secretly admired her.
The floatation of her movements is sometimes high and sometimes low; the strength is sometimes strong and sometimes weak; the speed is sometimes fast and sometimes slow. But everything is so coherent and harmonious, and the coordination with her wholehearted concentration is really like an extremely elegant art.
After tasting the soup, she looked at me, made a gesture of inviting me, and said, "Please, have a sip of the sweet rain."
I took the heat and drank it carefully, smelling the fragrance first, then tasting the taste. I sipped and smelled it, and drank it carefully. Although the amount I drank was not much, it left a fragrance on my teeth and cheeks, a sweet taste in my throat, and made my heart relaxed and happy.
"It's a pity that there is no good tea here. Otherwise, it should be better..." She felt a little regretful, but there was no hint of complaint in her tone.
"It's very good, after the bitterness, it is sweet." Although the tea here is not the best, I have seen the most exquisite art of making tea. There is more aftertaste in it.
"Yes! Tea is bitter in nature, and there is sweetness in the bitterness. How much suffering is there in life? The Buddha believes that there is suffering in life, suffering in old age, suffering in illness, suffering in death, suffering in resentment, suffering in separation from love, suffering in not being able to seek, etc. Human beings
While drinking tea, savor life and understand the "truth of suffering."
"Concubine Shu is a Zen Buddhist? Can you tell me more about her?" Listening to her words, I really got the insights from the Buddhist words. It is really rare. At this time, Buddhism was not very popular, but I could meet someone who understands Buddhism.
No wonder she always seemed quiet and indifferent, not at all as miserable as other courtyards in the cold palace.
"I only know a little bit about it. Every time I make tea, I always think of these things. For example, the tea ceremony emphasizes "harmony, tranquility, and truth," and "quietness" is regarded as the way to achieve the state of mind. Buddhism also advocates tranquility. Sit quietly and meditate."
I listened quietly and tasted the tea in the cup.
"In the final analysis, human suffering is due to "not being able to let go." Therefore, Buddhist practice places special emphasis on "letting go." After letting go of everything, people are naturally very relaxed and can see the world with blue sky and blue sea, beautiful mountains and clear water, beautiful sun, gentle wind, and bright moon.
Tea also emphasizes "letting go", letting go of hatred and jealousy, letting go of pain and suffering, and letting go of the distractions of the day.
Steal half a day of leisure, relax your tense nerves, and relax your imprisoned behavior. Layman Yan Ren has the best poem: Let go and let go, where can you worry? My dear, you can also try to let go and do
If you are a carefree tea person, maybe you won't be so worried." She looked at the sky with floating clouds outside and said calmly.
"It's not that I don't want to let go, it's because there are people who can't let go, so they won't let me let go." How could I not want to? But the provocation and resentful look in his eyes every day, the deviation of body and soul at night, and his pressing step by step
, as well as the unformed child in my belly, they all make me unable to get through it.
"My dear, maybe, everything in front of you is not what you wanted, but no matter what, they all belong to you now. You try to accept it and cherish it. Maybe you don't have to be so sad. Maybe you can still see it.
Hopefully.”
Hope? It’s a very unfamiliar word. Can I really still have it? After listening to her words and feeling her feelings, I suddenly felt disgusted with the call that I had become numb to. “Can you not call me empress? It stands to reason.
Say, you are my elder, so I should address you respectfully. How should I address you?"
"How should I call it?" She also looked confused, "Yes, how should I call it? Your Majesty, please call me Aunt Wan... No, no, please call me Wanyin."
"You are an elder, I should call you Aunt Wan." It can be said that I really don't have any relatives. Calling me like this, maybe I will feel less desperate.
"You call me Aunt Wan. Ha!" She lowered her head, turned to one side, and then turned her head again after a long time. She laughed twice and said, "I am laughing."
"There's no one else here, Aunt Wan, please call me Shi'er." I'm not particularly surprised by her reaction. In the cold palace, people are indifferent. I'm afraid she hasn't heard the title of family member for a long, long time.
"Sui'er, your name is Si'er, which one is Si??"
"Aunt Wan's smile is the passing away. And my surname is Xiao. Isn't it a very strange name?"
"Is your name really Shi'er? You are the current Concubine Tian." She grabbed my hand and confirmed.
"Well, Aunt Wan, she is just the daughter of the guilty minister. Let's not mention that. I also want to drink a pot of tea." I don't want to mention those concubines, especially the word Tianfei.
"Well, okay, Grandma Ye, go and make a pot of tea." She immediately ordered the old grandma who was a little distracted. Then she turned to me and was about to say something. Then she heard a child outside shouting: