'Fanwai' suddenly ruined the spring and autumn 4 I don't want you
."Extra" Suddenly lost several years (4) I don't want you
"It's me!" Xiao Zimo tried hard to calm down and squeezed out two words with difficulty. The hand holding the phone was trembling constantly. He felt as if his throat was on fire and he couldn't utter another word.
Lin Jiu seemed to be relieved and said to himself, "It's great that you are finally willing to call me." This means you don't hate me that much, right?
"Is he here?" Xiao Zimo restrained his excitement and excited soul and spoke concisely.
God knows how much he wants to hear her voice again, but he can't. Some things are difficult to quit once they become addicted, such as drugs——
For example, Lin Jiu.
"He's here, please wait." Lin Jiu said softly, and then she could hear her gentle voice saying over there: "Jiuyue, answer the phone." She seemed to hesitate, and then said: "It's Xiao Zimo.
"
She always calls her by his first name, and only calls him "Jiuyue". Maybe this is the difference.
"I'm Ling Jiuyue, are you okay?" Ling Jiuyue answered the phone and got straight to the point, her voice neither salty nor bland.
"Tun'er Mingzhu and I have returned to China. Come to Beijing." Xiao Zimo's voice was low and cold.
Since Ling Jiuyue doesn't talk in circles, why should she?
"Why did you take them back to China?" Ling Jiuyue frowned. When Shi Tong'er returned home, she didn't call to tell herself, "Xiao Zimo, what are you trying to do?"
"Ha." Xiao Zimo couldn't help but sneer, "You guessed wrong this time, not what I wanted to do, but..."
He looked up at the window, feeling very heavy. He actually felt that those words were so cruel that he couldn't speak them.
Ling Jiuyue didn't ask, holding the phone and patiently listening to what he wanted to say.
"Ling Jiuyue, I know that you have never loved Mu Rutuan'er, and neither have I, so I have no right to accuse you of anything. It's just...just..." Xiao Zimo's faint voice choked for a long time, and he paused for a while.
He said, "I just want to see if you and I can see you again before she dies."
"What did you say?" Ling Jiuyue was stunned, her pupils were dilating, and she quickly asked again: "Xiao Zimo, what on earth are you talking about?"
"Mu Rutong'er is about to die. It's up to you whether you want to see her for the last time or not." Xiao Zimo's harsh voice came out quickly, then he hung up the phone, not wanting to say anything more.
When he raised his head, there was actually a trace of scarlet in the eagle's eyes.
Mu Rutong'er, that's all I can do for you.
As for whether he is willing to come, I cannot guarantee.
You'd better pray that he can come to see you in time...
***
Seeing that something was wrong with his expression, Lin Jiu frowned slightly and said softly: "What happened? What did Xiao Zimo say?"
Ling Jiuyue was stunned for a long time, her fingers were hanging on the Panasonic phone, her voice was almost faint: "He said... said... Tuo'er... is about to die!"
Lin Jiu glanced at her, her gentle eyes flashed with astonishment, and she instinctively said: "How could it be possible? This is impossible..."
"Would Xiao Zimo be so despicable as to curse Juan'er to death to deceive us?" Ling Jiuyue's eyes slowly fell on her face, her heart filled with pain and desolation.
Lin Jiu shook his head gently, "He is not such a person, but...but..."
I choked my voice and couldn't continue speaking...
But how could she die?
"Come to Beijing with me."
After a long silence, Ling Jiuyue said hoarsely, staring at Lin Jiu; Tuo'er was his friend, whether true or not, he wanted to see her when he came back.
"good."
Lin Jiu nodded in agreement without any hesitation.
She doesn't believe it, she doesn't believe that such a good Qu'er will die. God won't be so cruel, right? At this moment, she would rather Xiao Zimo's despicableness is deceiving herself, and she doesn't want this to be true...
***
Tuo'er walked to the kitchen and saw Xiao Zimo standing by the sink washing dishes. His tall figure and cold profile were just as handsome as he had been many years ago. He was the object of fascination for all women.
She had never thought that such a man could still get along like a friend even after she no longer loved him. She could also see him standing in the kitchen of her home washing dishes, clearly holding the bowl with his green finger bones, and the gentle flow of water
Slowly flowing through his palm...
Everything seemed like a dream, and I had slept in this dream for too long, and I was about to wake up.
"Xiao Zimo, can I ask you a favor?" She spoke softly without breaking the silence of the room.
"What's the matter?" Xiao Zimo's eyes fell on the bowl and did not look at her.
"You can take Mingzhu back."
After a long time, Mingzhu spoke in a low voice, her watery eyes staring at his profile. Although she was reluctant to let go, she would eventually let Mingzhu go.
Xiao Zimo paused his fingers and let the water flow around his fingertips. He turned his head to look at her and said in a cold voice: "Why?"
"Mu Rujuan'er, that is your daughter, the daughter you gave birth to. Now why do you want me to take her back and go back? You want her not to recognize me, so I can't recognize her? Mu Rujuan'er, I tell you
You, you don’t want to leave the pearl to me and run away. She is your daughter!!"
She is your life. With her here, how can you let go, how can you... leave.
Tuo'er looked at him quietly, the tears in the corners of her eyes shone with loss, and her whitened lips wriggled slightly, "A few years ago... I also begged Jiuyue. I hope he can take care of Mingzhu. Before I
In my heart, he is more suitable to be a good father than you."
Spring is autumn. "Then you go to him! Why are you talking to me about this? Who am I to you, and why should I help you raise your daughter?" Xiao Zimo said coldly, but his voice was trembling.
"But looking at you in the past few years... I feel that you are different from before." Tuan'er pursed her lips, her voice was hoarse, and tears slowly fell from her eyes, "Jiuyue is a good father, but he is waiting for you.
Father, Mingzhu is following them. I believe that no matter Jiuyue or Lin Jiu, they will not treat Mingzhu badly... just... just..."
He hesitated to speak, his voice filled with helpless sadness, "It's just that Mingzhu really wants to follow Jiuyue, and you have nothing, what should you do?"
Xiao Zimo's heart felt like he had been hit hard by something. The pain dissipated for a moment and spread to his limbs and bones. His eyes turned scarlet and he couldn't speak for a long time.
Mu Rutong'er, I used to treat you like that, and now you still have plans for me. How stupid are you?
Tuo'er blinked, her eyelashes soaked with tears trembled slightly, but a desolate smile flowed on her dry lips, "Xiao Zimo, you won't die if you admit weakness once in a while... No one will laugh at you. You obviously love me very much.
Mingzhu's, isn't it? Don't resist her approach, believe that you can be good to her, believe that you can be a good father, and believe that Mingzhu will accompany you through those long years..."
"Stop talking..." Xiao Zimo suddenly spoke. The faucet was not turned off and the water kept flowing. He strode up to her and fiercely hugged her in his arms. He pressed the back of her head against her chest with his big palm, "
Mu Rutong'er, shut up! Stop talking, stop talking..."
Tuo'er's body was stiff for a long time, and her bones were very painful from being strangled by him, but she didn't frown or push him away. He had never hugged her like this before.
The stiff arms slowly raised, grabbed his clothes, and whispered: "Xiao Zimo, I have loved you for a whole time. But now, I really don't love you anymore... Why, why didn't you look like this back then?
Hold me like this now?"
If at that time, you could hold me like this once, even if it meant death, I would have no regrets.
Xiao Zimo was so distressed that he could only hug her tightly, unable to say a word.
We have all said goodbye to growing up, but we have never truly grown up. The further we go, the more we fear the people around us will leave us, and the more we fear loss and separation.
Until now, he has never loved Qu'er, only the indescribable feeling of knowing and cherishing each other, because she is the mother of his daughter. That feeling is very complicated and cannot be explained.
"If you love me and I fall in love with you at the beginning, what will happen later?" A trace of bitterness flashed across the corner of Xiao Zimo's mouth, and his smile was filled with a hint of hurt.
Tuan'er was startled, but when she realized what she was doing, a faint smile appeared at the corner of her mouth, "Thank you, you don't love me!"
Thank you for not loving me. You gave me scars all over my body when I met Jiuyue.
Even if he doesn't love me, even if we have only been a couple in name only for four years, for me, this time is the most beautiful memory of my life, and I have no regrets...
Xiao Zimo patted her back gently, feeling indescribable bitterness and helplessness...
No one is at fault. If you don't fall in love, who can you blame?
If they had fallen in love with each other from the beginning, how could there have been all the right and wrong that followed...
"Promise me to take good care of Mingzhu. She is the only one you have left...She is the only one left, so you must cherish it...you must!" Tong'er choked with sobs, and his tears quickly soaked through his shirt, and his chest became wet and hot.
"Okay." Xiao Zimo bit his lip and spoke every word as if he was swearing: "I will definitely take good care of our daughter..."
That child is their daughter.
Although there is no love, it cannot be denied that at this moment, they love this daughter with all their hearts.
***
night.
Mingzhu sat at the desk, touching the Braille; Tu'er sat by the bed, folding clothes, looking at her with red eyes from time to time, not knowing how to speak.
"Mingzhu..." After a long time, she suddenly plucked up the courage to speak, "Mommy wants to tell you something."
Mingzhu paused with her fingers, then slowly turned around to face her, "Mommy, tell me, I'll listen."
Tuo'er looked at her carefully. No matter how much she took care of her in the past few years, Mingzhu never smiled happily or cried. Such a daughter made her very depressed.
Not being able to make your children happy is the biggest failure of a mother.
"Mingzhu...you go home with Uncle Xiao tomorrow...tomorrow." Tuo'er said this sentence intermittently, as if she had exhausted all her strength to say it. Her fingers stopped and squeezed her clothes tightly, almost tearing them apart.
it.
Mingzhu was stunned, her palm-sized cheeks turned pale instantly, all the blood disappeared, her eyelashes trembled violently, and she didn't speak for a long time.
The room was as quiet as death.
"Mingzhu, Mommy doesn't want to be with you anymore. Mommy wants to leave you and go very far away..." Tuo'er endured the pain in her heart, pretending to be calm, and said the thing that went against her most.
Sincere words.
If possible, Mommy would like to stay with you forever.
"Is it because I can't see?" Mingzhu said in a low voice, "Because I can't see anything and can't take care of myself, so mommy doesn't want me anymore, right?"
"Yes." Tong'er answered decisively, tears falling silently from the corners of her eyes, "It's too troublesome to take care of you... I'm not in good health, and I don't want to continue to take care of you now!"
"If, Mommy... if I can take care of myself, I can eat, bathe, sleep, and live by myself, and I won't drag you down or become a burden to you, can you... can you please don't leave me behind?
.Mommy, please... okay?"
Tong'er's heart was broken when she heard her words. Mingzhu was her life. Saying these words was like stabbing her own heart with a knife, again and again...
How could she say such cruel words about her own life?
But so what if I don’t say it.
"Taking care of yourself? What do you do to take care of yourself? How can you take care of yourself?" Tong'er raised her sharp tone, "When you pour water, you can't see the depth of the water in the cup. When you eat, you can't even see what's in front of you.
Less than...how on earth can you take care of yourself?"
Tears welled up in her eyes, stubbornly refusing to fall, "So... Mommy is going to leave me to someone else... she doesn't want me anymore..."
"Yes!!" Tuo'er bit the corner of her lip, biting it, and blood slowly flowed down the corner of her mouth, "Xiao Zimo is rich, and with him you can live in a good house and have many people to take care of you.
, I don’t need to worry about you all the time, I don’t need to be by your side 24 hours a day! I can pursue my own happiness!”
Mingzhu secretly retracted her fingers on both sides of her body, turned around slowly, and no longer faced her. The despair in her voice seemed to come from her bones.
"I understand." The voice was very low, as if sinking into the humble ocean.
"Mommy, if you have packed up, go out. If you haven't packed up, you should pack up early tomorrow. I want to rest now."
Tuan'er stood up, tears streaming down her face, and looked at her with blurred vision. She really wanted to hug her again, but... her hands that were stiff on her body didn't have the courage to hug her again.
After standing there for a long time, the surroundings were so cold that Tuo'er felt like he was already dead. He walked out of the room with heavy steps step by step.
Mingzhu's waist was very straight. She was sitting on the chair. When she heard the sound of the door closing gently, the tears in her eyes fell silently in an instant. Her big tears kept falling down. How can I stop them?
I can't stop...
He groped with his fingers on the table and stood up reluctantly. As soon as he took a step, his legs were weak without any strength, and he knelt hard on the ground.
"Wuwu...wuwu...wuwu..." The tears in his eyes overflowed wantonly, and his thin body knelt on the ground, trembling constantly, like a pet that was thrown into the storm and could not find its way back.
The road to home is lonely and no one wants it anymore.
She has worked very hard not to rely on others; she has worked very hard not to cause trouble to others.
Even so, isn't it possible?
Even so, Mommy, you still don’t want the pearl?
Is there still no one who wants the Pearl?!
She lay on the ground, sobbing uncontrollably, not daring to make a loud sound, just whimpering suppressedly, like an injured little monster.
Tuo'er walked out of the room and closed the door. She squatted on the ground and cried uncontrollably. She bit her hand hard and didn't dare to make a sound.
She couldn't cry, she couldn't let Mingzhu know that she was crying...
This is for Mingzhu's own good. I would rather she hate him for abandoning me, I would rather make her hate him forever, than let her know that he is going to leave her completely.
Only in this way will she stay by Xiao Zimo's side obediently...
Only in this way can Xiao Zimo take good care of her.
***
The next day, when Xiao Zimo came to pick up Mingzhu, Mingzhu was sitting on the sofa with the suitcase Tong'er packed for her at her feet.
Xiao Zimo asked the driver to take down the luggage and put it in the car first. His eyes fell on Mingzhu's face and he whispered: "Where is your mommy?"
Mingzhu sat on the sofa and remained silent, as if she didn't hear his voice.
Xiao Zimo couldn't wait for her answer, so he added: "Wait for me here for a while, and I'll go have a few words with your mommy."
Seeing that Mingzhu still didn't respond, she turned around and walked closer to the room.
Tuo'er was sitting by the bed, her face was pale and she was in very bad spirits. She left haggardly, and her breath was still there.
"What did you say to make her leave with me?" Xiao Zimo originally thought Mingzhu would make a big fuss.
"I said... I don't want her anymore..." Tuo'er turned to look at him, with a self-deprecating smile on her lips, "I didn't even believe it myself. I actually said she was a burden. I said I didn't want her anymore.
"
Xiao Zimo frowned and smiled bitterly, "Why do you have to be like this...why?"
Otherwise, how could she be willing to let you go? Tears were shining in Qu'er's eyes, her heartache was incurable, and she couldn't help coughing.
"Let's go. Take her away..."
"Don't look at her anymore?"
"There's nothing to see... let's go... you all go!"
Qu'er's old voice was full of desolation and helplessness. Life would eventually come to an end, and she would be the only one left.
"You have a good rest and settle down Mingzhu, I will come see you again." After Xiao Zimo finished speaking, he couldn't bear to look at her again, turned around and strode out of the room.
With scarlet eyes, his eyes fell on Mingzhu's side, feeling extremely distressed. He walked to her side and put his hand in front of her, "Mingzhu, let's go."
This time, Mingzhu didn't pretend not to hear. She stood up slowly. She didn't reach out to hold his hand, but grabbed the corner of his clothes, just a little bit, without saying anything.
Xiao Zimo's eyes flashed with darkness, and he said softly: "Let's go."
After saying goodbye, I don’t know when we will see each other again.
Or, this farewell, forever.
Mingzhu followed Xiao Zimo downstairs, got into the car, and let him buckle her seat belt. She was as numb as a soulless rag doll, letting others control her.
Can't see, so even if she turns around she can't see anything...
Xiao Zimo looked sideways and did not see Tuo'er. She really did not look at Mingzhu again.
Seeing or seeing is meaningless.
The moment the car started, Tuo'er got up from the bed and ran to the window quickly. When she saw the car starting slowly, she bent over. Bai Xi covered her lips with her fingers and coughed violently.
It seemed like he was about to vomit out all his internal organs, and a bloody smell surged up in his throat. He tried his best to suppress it, but a large amount of warm liquid couldn't stop flowing out...
The hot liquid seeped between the fingers and wrapped around the fingertips. It smelled of blood and was bright red...
His eyes were filled with mist, as he watched the car take away his daughter...
Take me far away from here and never come back.
The scene in front of me became increasingly blurry, the pain was heartbreaking, as if my body was being hollowed out, and my eyelids were so heavy that I could no longer lift them up...
She was too tired from walking in this life, so tired that she really couldn't hold on any longer...
After a sleepless night, my body was weak and exhausted, and I fainted on the ground.
The room fell into desolation and silence, and the smell of blood filled the air.
Death is everywhere.
****
Xiao Zimo's villa was redesigned very early. The stairs and rooms were specially designed for blind people.
Mingzhu's room was later decorated exactly like her room in Australia, even the furniture was the same.
Xiao Zimo took her upstairs, opened the door to the room, and said softly: "This room is exactly the same as your room in Australia, every decoration is the same. You can move around freely, nothing will happen. The environment downstairs is waiting for you.
You'll get familiar with it after a while."
Mingzhu stood there, without speaking for a long time. After hesitating for a long time, she touched the door of the room with her fingers and walked forward slowly. She was counting silently in her mind. As expected, she reached the number she counted. She leaned forward and touched the soft bed. There was no difference at all.
Mingzhu stood up straight, took two steps forward, turned around, moved her fingers forward, and found the desk. There was also a blind book she often read on the desk.
"Hiss." His palm touched the corner of the hard-cover book, and he frowned in pain.
"What's wrong? Are you injured?" Xiao Zimo heard her voice, strode forward and grabbed her hand, "Where are you injured?"
"Why did your hand..." It was hot red.
Mingzhu frowned, took her hand away and hid it behind her back, without saying a word.
"How did you get hurt?" Xiao Zimo asked with a frown. It looked like he was scalded by hot water.
Tuo'er took great care of her, so how could she let the boiling water get scalding?
Mingzhu said nothing.
"You got up and poured water by yourself in the morning and accidentally burned yourself, didn't you?"
Mingzhu still didn't speak, but slowly lowered her head.
In the morning, she got up before her mommy got up. She wanted to tell her mommy that she could pour hot water by herself and take care of herself...
However, when pouring hot water, I accidentally burned my hand and almost broke the cup.
She originally thought that she could do it, and as long as she could do it, she could stay with her mother.
But reality cruelly told her that she couldn't do it...
She must leave Mommy and not be a burden to her.
"Butler, get the burn ointment quickly." Xiao Zimo pressed the internal line and ordered.
After a while, the butler immediately brought the best burn ointment.
"I'll give you medicine." Xiao Zimo slowed down his voice.
Mingzhu stepped back and hid her hands behind her back, unwilling to let him touch her.
Young Master: Today the 6,000-word update has been completed and put into one chapter.