Yes, does it mean that letting her remember the past is to make her endure the pain?
I was so confused by her words that I really didn't know what to say. I was speechless.
She smiled and said with a sneer: "What else can you say? What else can you say?"
Yes, what else should I say, can I get a divorce? No, what can I give her? I can’t give her anything, so why should I ask her? Do I still need to ask all these questions?
"Oh, don't say anything, don't say anything -" She cried, she started to cry, the kind of crying that couldn't be concealed, then she raised her head and looked at me pitifully, her eyes staring at me and said:
"It's in the past, it's all in the past, Xiao Lin, everything is in the past, don't do this again, thank you for treating me like that, thank you for being so kind to me -"
"When did you remember that?"
"I don't know, I don't know anything, don't ask me, don't ask me, okay? Don't ask, I -" She shook her head and said: "I don't remember, and I don't want to remember, I'm just in a bad mood.
, It’s nothing, just go back, don’t follow me anymore, I’m in a bad mood!”
I said, "Don't cry. I won't say anything. I'll take you back. It's only a few steps away. Let me take you back!"
She nodded.
Then we walked to her house without speaking to each other.
We didn't talk until we got her to the door of our house. She said softly: "Go back, thank you, be careful when you go back. Is it okay if you drink? Take a taxi back. Wait, I'll give you a taxi."
!”
As soon as she walked over from me, I hugged her. There was no one around, and there were trees all around, except the road.
After I hugged her, her body was held in my arms. She gasped in surprise against me. I hugged her and stroked her body vigorously. Then I looked at her and kissed her suddenly.
She, she raised her head and did not reject me, or she was intoxicated. I started to kiss her. It felt so exciting. I touched her hair, held her in my arms, and touched her with my body. She was also very passionate.
Feeling, holding me tightly with both hands, biting me hard with your mouth——
But I felt her tears flow down. I hugged her tightly and said, "Baby, don't cry. Be obedient. Don't cry. I will be so sad. Don't cry. Be good and be obedient. I know you remember me."
Yeah, it’s all my fault, it’s my fault——”
"No!" Bai Ling shouted suddenly, and then cried in despair: "I don't blame you, it's not your fault, it's all my fault, my fault, I deserve to die, I'm a bastard, I'm a bastard!"
She was going crazy, about to collapse, and her body was twitching in my arms. I knew that she remembered me and missed me, so she went to find me.
I hugged her hard and said: "Don't be like this, don't cry. I beg you, baby, we don't want to be like this. You listen to me, listen to me. I love you, I love you so much, no matter what happens in the future -
"
"I'm not talking about this, I think, I want to die!" Her body began to tremble, convulsively. I hugged her and was frightened by her and said: "Don't be like this, it doesn't matter if you want to, be good, don't scare me.
"Don't scare me!" I hurt her and pressed my face against hers. She was so excited. This was her before. She thought of all those things, everything I had done for her, and she would never be able to do it again.
I can't bear it anymore.
I was so anxious that she fell into my arms, so excited that she almost went into shock.
She opened her eyes slightly in my arms and said, "Is it you? Xiaolin!"
My tears kept falling. I nodded and said: "Yes, it's me, it's Xiaolin. Be good, it's me. Are you feeling better? Just tell me what you want. Whatever you want, I'll take care of you."
Say everything, don't hold it back, okay?"
She smiled and said: "Nothing, I'm sorry, don't hate me, okay? You know everything is fate, we can't resist-"
"No, don't believe in fate. Those are all fake. We just missed each other. Many people will miss each other. Be good, let's have a good talk tonight, okay?"
"No, you go back, don't make her worry, and obey me!" She looked at me and touched my face with her hand.
"She doesn't go home to live. I've also been staying in the bar these two days. Don't think too much. Let's talk like friends, okay? I have a lot to say to you!"
She shook her head, never taking her eyes off me and said: "No, obedient, we can't do this anymore, what does this mean? We are all adults, that's me, that's my cousin-" She cried again as she spoke
fell down.
I closed my eyes for a moment, then opened them and said, "What's the matter? We used to have such a good time, can't we talk more when we meet now?"
"I can't face you. Every time I look at you now, I feel suffocated. I can't look at you. I can't. I'll go crazy. I might be able to do anything. Don't force me. You hear me.
No? Did you hear that?"
"It's okay, you can do whatever you want, don't think about anything, do what you want, say what you want, don't wrong yourself like this -"
"You are just a little bastard. Is it that easy as you say? Can things be that easy? Don't do this again. Don't force me. If I go crazy again, I will no longer be a human or a ghost. I will eat
Aren't you afraid if it kills you?"
I shook my head and said, "I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of anything. I'm just afraid of hurting you. I'm not afraid of anything else!"
"You are so irresponsible, are you worthy of her? You are already married, why don't you look like a family man?"
I said: "I have it for others, but I really can't have it for you."
"Don't do this. You will regret it later. I don't dare. It would be terrible. I have to meet someone. I don't have the courage to break up. No one cares about it. That's my cousin. Our whole family.
They are relatives. If something happens and they misunderstand, they will not be able to survive. Just leave!"
I knew Bai Ling cared about her family's reputation, so I nodded.
"You go!" she said helplessly.
I looked at her, and as I watched, I suddenly kissed her on the mouth, and then I wanted to kiss her again. She pushed me gently and said, "Stop it, don't make it difficult for me!"
I said fiercely: "If there is really no way, then, what can we do? The big deal -"
"Don't say it, never, you can't do that, otherwise I will die!"
I closed my eyes and nodded and said: "Well, I understand, I will promise you, I will -"
At this time, a voice suddenly came from the side, "Lingling, who are you following? Friend, why don't you come home?" We turned around suddenly and saw our godmother holding a flashlight and shining it on us.
, we were still hugging each other at that time, the light was dazzling, I couldn’t see my godmother’s face, but I think she saw everything.
She must be taught a lesson.
We let go of each other immediately, like an electric shock.
The flashlight was turned off, the godmother looked at us quietly, and we looked at her too.
"Mom, why did you come out?"
"Didn't you call to say you were back? Why are you still not home so late? I came down to take a look. Oh, did Xiaolin send your sister back?"
I nodded, pursed my lips and said, "Well, godmother——"
"Come on, are you in a hurry to go home?" my godmother asked me.
I said: "Oh, no rush!"
"Then come up!" As she said this, the godmother began to walk forward.
Bai Ling shrugged her nose at me and whispered, "Can't you just say you want to go home?"
I said stupidly: "I was just looking at my godmother——"
"Look, she doesn't want to teach you a lesson, why don't you look at her!"
I said, "It's okay. It's already like this. I've seen it even if I don't face it. What else can I do?"
"I asked you not to send me away, but you did it anyway. You are not afraid of my mother, but I am!"
I gently touched her butt with my hand and said, "Are you afraid that your mother will spank you?"
"Don't be like this, you drank too much-"
I said: "Not much, I'm very sober. When did you remember me? In Canada?"
"I won't tell you!" She looked very scared, afraid that her mother would scold her. In fact, I was afraid too, and I didn't know how to face my godmother. I'm already married, so what does this mean?
After going upstairs, my godmother was sitting there, put on her reading glasses and said, "Lingling, Xiaolin, sit down, I have something to tell you!"
After I sat down, I said, "Well, godmother, you tell me!"
"Xiao Lin, it's not my godmother who talks about you, she talks about you as her own son, do you understand?"
I nodded and said, "Yes, I know, mother!"
"Mom, it's not that I'm afraid of what you will do to Lingling. I love my daughter more than my son. No, I just love you, that's why I want to tell you!"
I nodded again.
The godmother then said to Bai Ling: "Lingling, kneel down for me!"
When I heard this, I was frightened. I thought I heard it wrong. My godmother has never been so strict.
I raised my head, looked at my godmother, and then at Bai Ling.
Bai Ling stood there stunned and said pitifully: "Mom, what's wrong?"
"What did you say happened? What did you say happened? Kneel down!" Godmother shouted again. This time, Bai Ling was so obedient that she didn't even notice that I existed. She suddenly knelt down on the ground.
After getting to the ground, she said: "Mom, don't get angry. I beg you, don't be like this. I beg you, mom -" Bai Ling cried, and then I immediately knelt down with Bai Ling, and then said:
"Godmother, if you want to blame, blame me. It's all my fault, it's none of my sister's business!"
"Xiao Lin, get up for me, get up for me!" Godmother said: "You won't get up, right? You put your mother in your eyes, right? I have your sister's reasons for letting me kneel down, so get up!"
Bai Ling pushed me hard and said, "Get up. Get up quickly. Get up. Do you want to make mom angry?"
I got up helplessly and stood there in a daze. Seeing Bai Ling kneeling there, I felt extremely distressed.
My heart is bleeding.
"Lingling, Lingling, how did I educate you when you were a child? How did your father educate you? Are you worthy of your father?"
"Mom, I was wrong. It was all my fault. I was wrong, please forgive me!" Bai Ling's face was filled with tears.
I couldn't help it anymore and said: "Mom, listen to me, it's all my fault. It's indeed my fault. My sister went to give me red dates. I said I wanted to give them to her, but she didn't let me. I insisted on giving them to her.
, it was me just now, I was the one who forced her to hold her like that, and you happened to touch her like that, mother, if you want to scold me, then scold me. If you regard me as your biological son, you should scold me, don't scold me, sister!