As soon as this woman cried, I felt that there was something really wrong with her, so I became completely alert. Needless to say, a female ghost who can move freely in the sun must have a high level of Taoism.
When the woman cried, the goatee who was talking to Huzi was not happy. He came over and pushed the master away and cursed: What do you mean, old man?
Huzi also looked at me angrily and asked: Sanliang, is he deliberately making my happy day unhappy?
My master still stared at the woman and said: Pretend? Keep pretending? Do you really think I couldn't see your face clearly when I almost lost my life? I'm confused now. At that time, that bastard tried every possible means to lure me to poach you.
Tomb, today you are trying so hard to marry a mortal again? What are you trying to do?
The woman cried so hard that she looked up at the master and shook her head and said: Uncle, I really don’t know what you are talking about.
After saying that, she looked at Huzi and cried: If you dislike me and don't want me, just say so, why bother humiliating me like this?
Women are the best aphrodisiacs for men. This is true. When Huzi heard this, his face turned red with anxiety. He didn’t know how to answer this girl. I, I, I, I didn’t say a second word for a long time. He
I can only turn around and say to Master: That's enough for you!
When I saw this situation, I realized that the old man Master was about to offend the public. I quickly went up to smooth things over. I pulled Master and blinked at him desperately and said: Okay, maybe your eyes are dim. If anything happens, can we discuss it later?
After saying that, I turned around and bowed to the crying girl: Sister-in-law, I'm so sorry. My master is old. He fell into a latrine in the toilet when he was a child, and his head was so smoked that it's hard to function. Don't be as knowledgeable as him.
After that, I stretched out my hand and said: Come on, sister-in-law, let’s shake hands. My younger brother Zhao Sanliang and Hu Zi, my close buddies in 1967, have a great friendship.
What I winked at Master just now was to let me come. Now I extend my hand to shake hands with this girl. If she is willing to shake hands, then you can judge whether she is a human or a ghost by whether her hands are hot or cold. If she refuses to shake hands, then it is definitely
It means being a thief with a guilty conscience, wrong, being a ghost with a guilty conscience.
The girl looked at me and slowly stretched out her hand. I was afraid that she would regret it, so I hurriedly held it and said with a smile: Nice to meet you, my sister-in-law will help take care of Huzi more in the future.
There was nothing else to do after that. Goatee said he had other things to do, so he stopped eating. We considered the wedding ceremony complete, and then the two beautiful and panic-stricken girls returned to Huzi's yard.
Master quietly approached me and asked in a low voice: How is it? Is it hot or cold?
I waved my hand and said, "It seems that you have really wronged this girl. That little hand is as soft as a bone." Tsk, tsk, 8,000 yuan is really a fucking profit for my grandma. Oh, don't worry, it's hot, hot.
Wow!
The master asked uncertainly: Are you sure it's really hot?
I nodded and said: It’s 100% correct.
He scratched his head and said to himself: That's weird. I'm absolutely right. After you fainted, I saw a wet corpse in the coffin. I was also shocked, but I still pretended to be
Calmly touching the baby, I stretched out my hand, she opened her eyes and looked at me, and I fainted. And I was very impressed by such a weird thing, how could I miss it?
After saying that, he suddenly became excited and said: "Xiao Sanliang, it's not that simple. I think there is something fishy about Huzi's wedding. Let's just wait until we have dinner and go back to Fujian. I feel really uneasy. I
It's okay for this old bone to be planted here, but you can't.
I'm a good person, and I've noticed it. Not to mention the current era, it's unbelievable that there is still human trafficking. Even if it does exist, is this girl worth only 8,000? I guess this is a trap, waiting for the tiger to take advantage of it.
The master glared at me and said: Just thinking about the girl and waiting for Hu Zi's trap? I don't think so! I'll wait for you!
As soon as he finished speaking, an eerie, low and joking voice sounded around us, saying: Want to leave? It's too late! No one can leave!
I was startled, and turned around to curse, but when I looked back, I found the so-called Mountain Stream King standing behind me, the lunatic with two flat, droopy breasts exposed. She was holding a cane and looking at her faintly.
Holding me. She said that no one could leave, which made me feel angry and cursed: You idiot! Get out of the way.
She smiled at me, showing a mouth full of cavities and yellow teeth, and said: You will come to see me.
I waved my hand and said: Get out of here!
After returning to the yard, I was so panicked by that crazy woman just now. It happened that Huzi was about to set off firecrackers, so I said let me do it. You go greet the bride. After I took the firecrackers, I realized that there were no firecrackers in my pocket.
Huo'er, who was really angry, suddenly heard a pleasant female voice beside him. The sound was intoxicating, and said: Are you looking for this?
I turned around and felt shy. Isn't this the look-alike girl who was next to the bride Xigua just now? I saw her holding a lighter in her hand and looking at me with a smile.
To put it bluntly, I have been an otaku for so long. Apart from the beautiful women on my hard drive, I rarely have contact with girls in real life, let alone beauties of this caliber. This makes me feel a little embarrassed.
I was embarrassed to look at her, so I took the lighter in a panic, and accidentally touched her hand.
The beauty smiled delicately and asked: "Your name is Zhao Sanliang? What a strange name."
I nodded and said, "It's from my parents. When I was a kid, the kids always made fun of me because of this. I was born only weighing 32 pounds. Now that I've grown up, no less than 20 people have asked me the same question."
She seemed to love to laugh, so she smiled again and said: That old man is your master? Did you learn martial arts from him? When I suddenly heard the word master, I thought it was from the world of martial arts, by the way, and,
Did he really fall into the toilet and burn his head when he was a child?
Anyway, as we chatted, I relaxed. This girl seemed to be very good at chatting, and from the chat, I also found out that she was Xigua’s younger sister. If it weren’t for being polite, I would have liked to ask: Your sister is eight thousand,
Would you sell it for ten thousand?
At this time, I didn't feel anything was wrong until Huzi asked me to come into the house to eat. The girl suddenly lowered her head and said to me with a blushing face: Zhao Sanliang, my name is Lan Xin.
I complimented without thinking: Lan Xin, what a good name.
And in order to express my heartfelt praise, I repeatedly chanted: Orchid heart, orchid heart, I have always felt that orchid is the most beautiful flower, orchid heart, orchid heart.
The next moment, I was stunned on the spot, as if I was clicked, and said incoherently: What did you say! Your name is Lan Xin?!
Didn't the female ghost who possessed the girl from Northeast China once say, for the sake of my sister Lan Xin, let you go?!
What's happening here?
She looked back at me, blinked very innocently, and asked: Yes, my name is Lan Xin, what's wrong?
Don't mention my mood at the moment. I don't know whether it was depression or dizziness. I almost lost my balance and was about to fall. She quickly supported me, put her hand on her forehead, and said urgently: Zhao Sanliang, what's wrong with you?
I forced myself to calm down, waved to her and said, "It's okay, maybe I didn't get enough rest. Help me into the house to rest for a while."
Entering the house, they had already started eating. Huzi and his new wife were toasting with the uncle and the others. Only the master had a dark face and said nothing. I walked into the house and ignored their stunned expressions.
I greeted him with concern and rushed directly into Huzi's room. How could I have appetite at this time? Moreover, I was already panicking. The countless series of things had made me unable to take care of so much.
I walked into the room, closed the door, lit a cigarette, and tore my hair hard.
At this moment, I couldn't tell whether I was crazy or whether something was wrong with the world. Because I simply couldn't figure out what happened to me and what happened to all of this.
I smoked three cigarettes in one breath. When Master and others knocked on the door, I excused myself by saying that I needed to take a break. I turned around and saw a freshly opened bottle of medicinal wine on the bedside of Huzi. I was helpless and took a big sip.
The alcohol entered my throat, burning my heart and lungs, and a breath of hot breath penetrated from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. I slapped myself twice and used old sayings to comfort myself and calm down.
Let it be shaken by wind and rain, let it be ups and downs, I will remain unmoved, my heart will be like a rock.
Until I felt that I had almost calmed down, I took out a pen and paper from my backpack and began to list the things I encountered in great detail. I believe that only by putting everything together can I discover the connection between them. If
Now I can't figure out that I am involved in what seems to be a conspiracy, that would be an insult to my intelligence.
I picked up my pen and wrote the following words:
Origin: Six years ago, Huzi returned to his hometown to get married. The bride, Bread, accidentally fell off a cliff and died. Because Huzi felt guilty and Bread’s natal family was strong, Huzi was forced to enter into a secret marriage with Bread, who was in a ghost state.
There is a long love affair between humans and ghosts.
Bread doesn't want to harm Hu Zi due to the intercourse between humans and ghosts, but due to the vindictive turtle's obstruction, he cannot be reincarnated, and the entire Sanlitun is almost full of lonely ghosts.
This year, Bread suddenly said that the time has come to rescue the souls of their entire village, and the rescuer must be me, Zhao Sanliang. And he got my phone number, which is why I came to Sanlitun'er.
Story: Master and I were intercepted by the turtle in the Earth Temple on the way here. It tricked us into opening an ancient red coffin, and inside the coffin was a woman. Master and I almost died because of this.
At night, I had a dream. In the dream, it was the woman in the ancient coffin, half forcing and half seducing me to marry her sister. Remember, in the beginning, this was just a dream.
Later, when I was discussing with the Northeastern uncle about using fire to burn the ancient coffin to rescue my unconscious master, the female ghost in the ancient coffin got into the Northeastern girl's body and said something, for the sake of my sister Lan Xin
For the sake of my face, I will spare you, master and disciple, this time.
This was the first time that dreams and reality overlapped, and it was also the first time that I doubted whether I was dreaming, or whether my soul really entered a special place and got married. The bride’s name is Lan Xin.
Ending: Huzi married an incredibly weird woman. It’s not that this woman is very weird, but the fact that he bought a wife for 8,000 yuan may be believed to be true at first glance. After all, the girl’s life experience is pitiful.
But after meeting her, I realized that this was definitely not a woman that could be bought for eight thousand dollars. Moreover, this woman's sister was well-spoken and not the kind of woman who came from a particularly poor mountainous area.
My master determined that the wife Huzi bought, Xigua, was the woman in the ancient coffin.
However, these two sisters have body temperature and are not afraid of the sun.
The weirdest thing is this sister, her name is Lan Xin.
All the doubts: What can I do to save the souls of the entire village? What is so special about me, a dead bastard?
Did the little turtle intercept us at that time to kill us? Or to push us into a bigger mystery? - Because without that night, there would not have been my erotic dream, let alone the strange life experience of Sister Lan Xin.
, I would normally come to Sanlitun, drink Huzi’s wedding wine, lament his bad luck in finding such a good wife, and I might even pursue this cute and charming girl Lan Xin.
As I write this, I pause for a long time because I feel like I have captured a hint of conspiracy.
The little turtle's conspiracy - it doesn't want Master and I to die, but it wants us both to doubt Sister Lan Xin and Xigua.
This point is based on reverse reasoning - without the little turtle's obstruction, I would not doubt the two sisters.
The little turtle blocked it - now I have doubts.
The result of the matter was the purpose of the little turtle at that time. It was to make me doubt Xigua and Lan Xin.
I crossed out the doubtful points just now. At this time, I had fallen into the same crazy state as when I was writing, and my whole heart was integrated into this situation tailor-made for me.
I wrote a line of big words - The secret of the watermelon Lanxin sisters and what the little turtle is afraid of.
The last doubt - what is the purpose of Xigua and Lan Xin's so-called 8,000-yuan scam?
Hu Zi is broke and broke. Even though I have some savings, I am definitely not worthy of these two beautiful sisters deliberately approaching each other.
And I admit that I am talented, but I am not handsome enough to make Lan Xin design her. In fact, as long as she approaches me in any way, I will not be able to resist her temptation. There is no need to make it so complicated.
So, I added another line - sisters, what are you trying to figure out?
This made my thinking immediately clear. From now on, I will treat this matter as a proof question, solve the questions one by one, and get the truth.
I closed the book, put it in my backpack, put on a natural smile, and went out to join their banquet. Again, I am a very stubborn person. Originally, I wanted to go back to Fujian to stay away from trouble. Now, I
No return.
I need an answer. I asked for this answer, but I believe no one can answer me. I can only get it slowly by pretending to believe them.
After dinner, the uncle and the girl from Northeast China wanted to go home, so we sent them to the entrance of the village. This time, I saw the king of the mountain stream again. She was hiding in the old locust tree at the entrance of the village, looking at us with burning eyes.
The information I got now is that Lan Xin and Xigua are sisters. They have a father who is addicted to gambling. He mortgaged his miserable sister Xigua to pay off gambling debts. Meeting Huzi is the best destination. And the reason why before
My master went over and asked Xigua - do you think I can't recognize you?
At this time, Xigua cried. That was because Xigua had a tragic experience. She thought that this strange old man was a man who had harmed her before, and he recognized her. That's why she panicked.
I didn't express any doubt about this, but I was still secretly observing the abnormalities of the two sisters.
That night, Master and I slept on the floor in the living room, and Lan Xin was in another room. As for the room where the three of us slept together before, it became Hu Zi's new house, which made me feel unrealistic.
This, even if you marry a wife?
How can this make the children in the city feel so embarrassed if the woman doesn’t get married without a car or a house?
Moreover, I listened carefully to what was going on in Huzi's room. It wasn't that I liked listening to the corners - but that I wanted to monitor them.
And I didn't get anything. The whole night in Huzi's room was filled with the kind of gasping sounds that make people blush and their hearts beat. It seemed that Huzi was not completely squeezed dry by the bread, and Lan Xin also felt the same.
He didn't leave the room all night, he just slept in the house.
This night, I stayed up all night, but it was terrifyingly peaceful.
Am I overthinking it? Or are they pretending too well?
The next morning, Huzi still looked refreshed when he woke up, and Watermelon's face was also glowing red after being moisturized. Because Master and I were laying the floor in the living room, we were the first to get up. After all, people bumped into the two big men.
It's not very elegant for men to sleep.
Xigua and Lan Xin went to the kitchen. Although they cooked some porridge or something to fill their stomachs, I suggested that we all go for a walk in the city together and buy some clothes for Huzi, including the two sisters, as my meeting gift.
A man depends on his clothes and a horse relies on his saddle. If these two girls put on the popular and colorful clothes, wouldn't they blind me?
My proposal was unanimously supported by them, and we went out together. However, after opening the door, we found that there was a person hanging in front of the door of Huzi's house.
I fainted all of a sudden, and my head that was pretending to be calm exploded again!
Because this man was the Northeastern uncle! He hanged himself on the door of Huzi's house! His eyes protruded horribly, his tongue stretched out, and his face was filled with fear and unwillingness!
As for the rope, it was tied to the light ring reserved on the eaves of the gate. In this way, the uncle became a human-shaped chandelier!
The master was also frightened and yelled: What are you doing standing there in a daze! Save people quickly!
Only then did I react. Huzi and I hugged the uncle's legs and let him down from the rope. Tears burst into my eyes. The uncle was already cold and stiff!
Although I didn't know him for a long time, this uncle, and the cheerful and helpful character of the older girl, made me very friendly. This sudden death made me completely furious, and I yelled:
Who did it?!
I looked up and saw that the king of the mountain stream was still holding a cane, not far away, looking at us with a sneer.
I subconsciously thought it was her and wanted to rush to kill her, but when she saw me getting up, she laughed and ran away. As she ran, she sang with a smile: Who will be next, who will be next.
I didn't chase him even two steps before my master lazily hugged me and told them not to touch my uncle's body. The master calmly said to me: call the police.
I asked back: Is it useful to call the police?
Because in my mind, I already thought this incident was supernatural, thus I ignored the fact that it was a homicide.
Master said: If you are asked to report, please report quickly!