Chapter 9 Good things don't go out, bad things spread thousands of miles
Xu Minghui's parents used to live in a remote small county in the north. Tiaotiao was sent to live with her grandparents when she was more than one year old. The two old people loved her very much, and could even be said to be pampered. They lived in an old-fashioned alley, that kind of
There are always many children in the alley, and a group of children of similar ages always play together. At that time, Tiaotiao was the king of children there. She only had the right to bully others, and no one else had the right to bully her.
If she is bullied by someone, she will cry all the way home to complain to her grandparents. Then her grandparents will drag Tiaotiao from house to house to find out who bullied her granddaughter. If they find that house
Even if they block the door and prevent them from going out, they still want the parents of that family to come forward and teach their children a lesson to vent their anger on Tiao Tiao.
Under such unprincipled pampering, Tiaotiao grew up to be more naughty and wild than boys when he was four or five years old, and was especially disobedient.
When she first came back to me, she was over four years old. She was like a tomboy. She would watch TV while eating. The more I greeted her to eat, the more she wouldn't come over. When I got tired of greeting her, she would talk back to me. Her big eyes were white and white.
Don't take me seriously.
When Tiao Tiao was eating at her grandparents' house, the two old men would follow her behind with a small bowl to feed her. In this way, the child developed the bad habit of watching TV and eating at the same time.
However, after she comes back to me, I will no longer condone her bad habits. Once the TV remote control is put away, do you want to eat? If you don’t want to eat, just stand against the wall for me! Stand there for an hour and I’ll watch you.
Are you hungry?
Tiaotiao is a very wild child, and she doesn't take my words seriously at all. I get so angry that I hit her on the butt twice. She will fight back, rush up to hit me with her little hands, and sometimes bite me.
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I was really angry and thought to myself, I don’t believe that I can’t take care of you, a little thing? So I rolled her up and pressed her on the bed, hitting her butt and balls hard until she screamed and hit her hard.
Before begging for mercy, I asked her: "Will you talk back to me next time? Do you dare to fight back?"
While she was crying, she replied to me intermittently: "Wuwuwu... I don't dare... I don't dare anymore! Wuwuwu..."
I held her down and asked her loudly: "Will you listen to what I say in the future?"
She wiped the tears on her face with her little hands and replied in a whimpering voice: "Listen!"
Seeing my daughter cry so sadly, I actually feel bad. The child was born after a ten-month pregnancy and is a piece of flesh that fell from my body. How could I not feel sorry for her?
However, I also firmly believe that educating children must adopt the principle of equal emphasis on kindness and power. Blindly pampering and obeying the child's will can be said to be harmful to the child without any benefit, because the child is like a seedling that is growing crookedly.
Someone has to support and correct her (his) growth posture, so that she (he) can grow into a towering tree in the future. Blind obedience and doting will only make it difficult for this seedling to withstand the baptism of wind and rain, and even
He died on the way, so there is a saying that a spoiled child is like killing his own son.
Taking the environment in which I grew up as an example, my father is a rough man and my mother is not very educated. They love their children, but in front of us, they are also a pair of very dignified parents.
We, brothers and sisters, were often beaten when we were young. After all, children are naturally naughty. At that time, our parents were busy all day long and did not have much time to persuade and educate us. Beating is the fastest effective way of education.
, in terms of beatings, the beatings we received when we were young were much more serious than the beatings Tiao Tiao is receiving now.
However, even so, when we grew up, no one resented or blamed our parents. On the contrary, our brothers and sisters were very sensible and precocious, and we knew how to help our parents with the housework very early. After we got married, we were deeply in love with each other.
I am deeply grateful to my parents for their upbringing, and I try my best to be more filial to them.
On the other hand, I have seen many children who have been pampered and raised. When they grow up, instead of being grateful for their parents’ upbringing, they are full of complaints, blaming their parents for not preparing this, and blaming their parents for not providing it.
Well, there are so many things going on, and it’s particularly chilling for parents.
So during my marriage to Xu Minghui, we always adhered to one principle when it came to educating our children, that is, one of us would be a good person, and the other would be a bad person. Of course, the good Bao Gong was me, and the bad person was me.
Cao Cao is of course Xu Minghui.
I have been taking care of Tiaotiao since she was brought back to us. This child was spoiled by her grandparents and had bad habits, such as not washing her hands before meals, not liking to brush her teeth, not liking to take a bath, and sometimes scolding others. Later,
I corrected her little by little. Not only did I correct her bad habits, but I also strictly required her to study. She would not complete her homework and would not allow her to sleep. I would stay with her until she finished.
Operation.
It was under my strict supervision that Tiaotiao's grades in elementary school were always excellent and she was always at the top of her grade group. It can be said that I have always played the role of a strict mother in the family.
Because Xu Minghui is busy with work, he spends very little time with his daughter. Even when he comes back to spend time with his daughter, he talks and laughs with her and rarely scolds her.
When Tiao Tiao was little, he could ride on Xu Minghui's neck. Sometimes Xu Minghui would lie on the floor and let Tiao Tiao ride as a big horse. Tiao Tiao would ride on his back and beat him gently with a small cloth rope.
Xu Minghui's broad back and his small mouth roared happily "Go! Drive!" The father and daughter were enjoying themselves and had a particularly good relationship.
Xu Minghui always brings some fun and delicious food to his daughter every time he comes back from a business trip. Therefore, Xu Minghui has always been a loving father figure in front of his daughter. He rarely restrains his daughter strictly. He has always been quite concerned about my strict education methods.
There are some criticisms, thinking that my way of disciplining my children is too harsh.
Although Tiaotiao has a good relationship with me, she is still a little afraid of me, and at the same time, she is also a little annoyed by me, because I always regulate her behavior, such as some bad habits in life, and teach her how to behave with her at school.
Teachers get along with classmates, so over time, Tiao Tiao always finds me annoying.
But she was not afraid of her father at all, because Xu Minghui spent little time with her and rarely restrained her in these aspects. Therefore, when my marriage with Xu Minghui was about to disintegrate, Tiaotiao finally chose to live with her father.
I know that Xu Minghui has been very busy at work, and he doesn’t have the patience to restrain his daughter’s daily behavior, so once her daughter follows him, she will basically be left alone in the future. If he is too busy or is on a business trip, he may send her to her
She went to live and eat with her grandparents, but in front of the two old people, Tiaotiao had no scruples and was not afraid of anything.
Although I am helpless about this, there is nothing I can do about it. After all, I have to follow my child's wishes.
***
During the days after my divorce, my inner feelings were very complicated. It could be said that I felt a sense of relief and a deep sense of sadness.
The reason why I feel heavy is that I did not expect that my marriage of more than ten years would end like this, nor did I expect that my ten years of hard work for this family would end in such a chilling end.
Although I don't regret leaving Xu Minghui, his attitude still deeply chilled my heart. I can forgive him for cheating, but I still can't forgive his indifferent attitude towards my efforts over the years.
This attitude made me feel that all my efforts over the years were not worth it. This was the main reason why I decided to leave him.
As for me, I feel relaxed because now that I have recognized the true nature of this marriage, it is certainly wise to cut the knot quickly and get out of the way as soon as possible. That is why I would rather give up my savings and insist on divorcing Xu Minghui quickly.
Only then will I start a new life in the future without any sloppiness.
Although I had less than a few thousand yuan in savings when I got divorced, I didn't feel resentful at all because I knew my ability to work and firmly believed that I would get better and better even if I was single in the future.
As the saying goes, good things don't go out, but bad things spread thousands of miles. Although I didn't mention my divorce to anyone in the company, many people in our company soon learned about my divorce.
Moreover, they had vaguely heard that my divorce was due to my ex-husband Xu Minghui's affair. Some even added fuel to the fire and described the scene at that time, saying how Xu Minghui and that woman were having trouble with each other in my house, and I broke in.
They were doing piston exercises at that time, and then how I separated the two of them, and how the woman who had committed adultery with Xu Minghui got into a fight, all came together, as if they were all immersed in it that day.
There are more women in our company, and where there are more women, there will be more disputes. Among them, there are inevitably some talkative women who like to stir up trouble and fear that the world will not be in chaos. Especially, I have always been a vigorous and resolute person. I am still a pillar of the planning department because of my good performance.
I would get more commission every time, which made some people jealous. So, with the jealousy of these gossips, my divorce was soon interpreted into several versions and spread wildly in the company.
Many meddlesome people are still making malicious guesses behind the scenes, saying that it is difficult for a thirty-five-year-old divorced woman like me to find a suitable partner. At the same time, divorced women are relatively more open-minded about sex, so
Eventually many married men will become my targets, making everyone be wary of me.
Although these people did not dare to discuss these gossips in front of me, I clearly felt that the way they looked at me was different from before, and some even had deep hints and mocking in their eyes.
It made me feel very uncomfortable, and I felt like a thorn in my back.
I am a woman with a relatively stubborn personality. I don’t think there is anything bad about an older single woman living her own life. At the same time, I am also a clean and self-sufficient woman. I will not hook up with any married man just because of the emptiness of sex. I don’t know.
Why would someone maliciously speculate behind my back like this?
At that time, I even thought about resigning. It was at this time that my immediate boss, the company CEO Zhou Yaze, had a talk with me.