When I saw this photo album, I could even think of the scene that happened at that time: in the dead of night, my dad was sitting silently by the bed, looking at this photo album, and at the two people in the photo who were no longer young.
He may love this woman very much. As he looked at her, he couldn't help but cry. The tears stayed on the photo album drop by drop, turning into yellow tear stains.
How many people in this world can make him cry?
My heart was beating violently. Who is this woman? Is she my mother?
I immediately wiped the tears from my eyes and came out with the album. Kuang Haige and Li Fusheng were sitting quietly in the living room. I walked to Kuang Haige, pulled out the photo, and asked, "Do you know this woman?"
Maybe it was my emotion and red eyes that made Kuang Haige feel so sudden, but he didn't ask any more questions and took the photo and looked at it. I guess this was the first time he saw this photo.
"I know you." He looked at me twice and nodded to me firmly.
"She...who is she?"
"Her name is Tan Yingying. This is the name on the ID card. In the past, we called her Tan Ying." When Kuang Haige saw the photo, his expression was a little unnatural. He should know this woman and some things about her.
Kuang Haige held the photo, as if he was recalling something. After a long time, he spoke again, and his tone was much lower: "However, she is gone, she has been gone for a long time."
"When was she not here?" I tried my best to find out something about this woman. She was the only woman in the photo album, and the woman who made my dad cry. What was she like? Could she be my mother? [
"It was very early, about ten years ago."
When Kuang Haige saw the woman in this photo, he felt very depressed. Maybe the yellowed photo brought back some memories of the past. I sat across from him and began to listen to what he said slowly.
The first batch of my father's men were brought out from the Xihai River. There were about six or seven people, but this is not all, because some people have died in the Xihai River and will never get out. The names of those who died
There are various causes of death. Some are accidents while performing tasks, and some are abnormal deaths. Speaking of this, Kuang Haige looked at Li Fusheng casually. I know that people who died abnormally may be
It was Sun Wanhua and Li Fusheng who secretly killed him.
Among these people who died abnormally, there was a man named Tan Wei. Looking back now, Kuang Haige couldn’t tell what exactly Tan Wei’s strengths were, but this man had one biggest advantage: he was honest and obedient. At that time, Tan Wei
In his eyes, there is no squad leader, company commander or battalion commander, only my dad. As long as it is something my dad tells me, he will spare no effort to do it. For such a person, my dad has no reason to distrust, so Tan Wei often runs errands for him.
Naturally, in Sun Wanhua's view, Tan Wei is an important confidant of my father.
"Tan Wei seemed to have died in an accident in the end." Kuang Haige turned to ask Li Fusheng: "He fell directly from the fourth platform and was bloody and bloody. But you don't know whether it was an accident, right?
.”
"Yeah." Li Fusheng nodded and sighed.
When Tan Wei died, my dad was in a very bad mood, because only he knew that if someone like Tan Wei asked him to run errands and work hard, it would be okay, but the really important things would not be revealed to him.
Therefore, Tan Wei's death was unjust.
But the person is already dead, and there is nothing that my dad can do if he has other emotions.
"Tan Wei's family is not in good condition. He is a widowed mother and has a younger sister." Kuang Haige held up the photo and said, "Tan Wei's younger sister is her."
After retiring from the army in Xihaihe, my father led others to start his own business. At that time, he already had some capital. In fact, several people have said that my father’s capital was the money that Lao Maozi gave Sun Wanhua for the first time. Yes.
My dad either visited the family members of those who died in Xihaihe or sent people to visit them all, and left some money. Maybe my dad always felt that Tan Wei should not die, so he felt guilty, so he went there in person
Went to Tan Wei's house once.
That time was the first time he and Tan Ying met.
Tan Ying's family was poor, but she was very ambitious. She was one of the few students there who was admitted to Peking University. She was studying in the history department of Peking University. When my father went there, it happened to be the summer vacation of that year. Because he was a student at that time.
He passed there, so no one knows the specific situation. But it is certain that after my dad left, he still had contact with Tan Ying, and the contact was quite frequent and close.
A year later, Tan Ying graduated. During this year, something may have happened that made her completely change her previous goals and choose a path that she felt was right.
"At that time, when No. 1 introduced Tan Ying to everyone, many people's eyes lit up." Kuang Haige narrowed his eyes slightly, as if he was still thinking about the events of the year: "That was a very pure girl.
We are younger and she doesn't like to talk, but she likes to laugh and makes people feel good."
Tan Ying stayed in the team like this. She was the only woman in the team and the only member who graduated from university. She was educated and quite approachable. At that time, several people liked her. However, at that time,
People are reserved about their feelings and are not good at expressing them or are shy about expressing them. Later, those who liked her stopped talking or thinking about her because they could see that Tan Ying was very interesting to my dad.[
Because most people at that time were doing different things in different places and rarely met each other, so Kuang Haige couldn't explain the specific situation clearly, and my father would not tell them that he liked someone, and about his emotions.
, has always been an unknown quantity, unknown to others.
"Tell me, is she...dead? How did she die?"
"I don't know very clearly because I wasn't there at the time. I heard people talk about it later." Kuang Haige said: "Actually, there is no basis for saying that she is dead, because her body has not been found until now. It's just that she is dead.
After so many years, if she was still alive, she would have tried her best to contact No. 1, but she didn't, and never did, so I can only think that she is no longer here."
"What's the specific situation?"
"I only know that she disappeared while on a mission, and it has been more than ten years." Kuang Haige said: "She went to the Northeast, and there were a few people with her, but they didn't come back. Later, we tried to find it more than once, but
no result."
"Northeast...Yuantoushan?!"
The memory in my mind suddenly opened up. Deep in the primitive jungle of Northeast China, there was a notebook sealed in the bark of a tree, and the words in the notebook.
Tell No. 1 that I can't go back and will never see him again. I feel cold, but I feel ashamed of him and ask him to be careful in everything...
The memory immediately turned into a picture in my mind. It was a cold winter many years ago. A woman who was not yet older was sitting under a big tree in the deep forest. She had no food and no money.
No matter how hard she ran, she was trapped here, unable to move forward. She wrote down everything she knew in her notes, and left those words on the last page of her notes.
I think she was crying when she wrote those words.
She can't come back, she really can't come back, her body has been left in the dense forest.
After thinking about it for a while, my mood became extremely heavy. Then, I broke away from my thoughts and asked Kuang Haige when Tan Ying disappeared.
"It was the time when No. 1 summoned us back and told us that he had a son. It was at the end of 1987 or the beginning of 1988, probably after the Spring Festival." Kuang Haige remembered it without much recollection, because he was very fond of Tan Ying.
I was very impressed. After all, there was only one woman in the team. Considering the Chinese New Year, my dad called the team members back from various places and let them rest for a while. It was not until the Spring Festival was over that they resumed their respective tasks.
At this time, Tan Ying and several other people ran to the Northeast and slept there forever.
Is there any problem with the timing of Tan Ying's accident? I was born at the end of 1987, and then at the beginning of 1988, Tan Ying received the mission to go to the Northeast. At this moment, I thought about what she left in the notebook,
She said she felt guilty towards my dad. This word confused me a little bit. What kind of guilt did she mean? Was it something she had done? Or was she guilty because she felt she had not completed the task?
As of now, there are not many people who knew about it back then, but I can tell that Tan Ying was not my father's wife in name at least, because in the words she wrote before she died, she still called my father No. 1.
However, who can guarantee that my father did not lie? He said that he was married, but he only told the people below orally. He said that my mother died due to dystocia when giving birth to me, and he only told others verbally. Apart from these legal judgments,
If it is true, there is no evidence to prove that what he said is true. I can completely guess that after giving birth to me, my mother was sent to other places by my father for various reasons. He probably knew
It would be dangerous to go to this place, but what is more likely is that sending her to a dangerous place was my father's real purpose.
I was so frightened by my own thoughts that I broke into a cold sweat. I don’t know why, but since I got involved in this whirlpool, I feel like my psychology is gradually filled with some conspiracy and darkness.
At that moment, I realized a very important issue. This Tan Ying might not be my mother. But my dad has been deliberately avoiding and hiding this issue since I was sensible. He couldn't even find anything about my mother in the house.
The things left behind, why is this? As a father, why should he hide this from his son?
In the past, I only felt deep regret for my mother, but now it seems that things may not be that simple.