Touch the door gently to isolate the picture inside.
Kato Yusuke took a deep breath and let the cold air flow into the depths of his nasal cavity.
There was no one around in the deserted outdoor area, and the emptiness made it even more chilly, but he didn't care at all.
From just now, his blood flow rate has increased sharply, and his body has become very hot.
The sound of the wind beating on the windows in the cold night and the bustling voices at the station seemed to be far away on the other side of the sky.
He kept taking deep breaths repeatedly, and no other sounds could reach his ears.
My body felt so heavy that it felt like it didn't belong to me.
The inside of my thirsty mouth became sticky.
He wished he could run away home immediately, or go somewhere and get drunk. Exile himself in the depths of the night where he couldn't see his fingers, so as to escape from reality and the feeling of loss.
However, things have become different...
When he thought of the people who were still by his side when he was willing to fall to his own devices, he could no longer indulge himself without letting them down.
Kato Yusuke stretched out his trembling hands and took out his mobile phone from his pocket.
The hands that were hit by the cold wind became cold.
"benefit"
"Eiri Pear"
"Senior Shiyu"
"Little Kano"
「Kosaka Akane」
…
In the list of contacts that had grown unknowingly, he dialed Kano-chano's number.
Toot~
After a short busy tone, the person's gentle voice came from the receiver.
"Kato-kun?"
Kato Yusuke calmed down his mood and said in a relaxed tone as much as possible: "...Good evening, the moonlight is beautiful."
Click, there was some kind of faint knocking sound from the other end of the phone.
Slowly, the woman responded with a softer voice.
"Well, the wind is also gentle~"
"Are you occupied?"
"Fortunately, I'm sorting out the information at home."
"organising materials……?"
"Yeah, I visited several outsourcing companies and got some reference cases and quotations from them. I thought I would show them to you after I sort them out."
"It's so late, don't work too hard."
"It's okay, it's nothing hard~"
Kanoko Hasumi said with a smile: "I started working after I went home, took a comfortable bath and had dinner. This level of intensity is much lower than when I was preparing for lessons before."
Hearing the excitement in the other party's words, Kato Yusuke didn't want to dampen her mood, so he forced himself to continue speaking.
"That's it! Then what did you eat at night?"
"Salad, curry rice, and miso soup. When we got together last time, Xiao Xi said you liked this very much, so I asked her for tips. I'll cook it for you next time~"
"...Xiao Xi has studied in a specialized school, and the difficulty may be very high."
"Well, are you looking down too much on a woman who has been cooking for herself for a long time in order to save money?"
"No problem, I also like the food made by Kano-chan."
Maybe it was because he acted well, but Kanoko Hasumi giggled happily.
"By the way, Teacher Maria and I saw a winter coat when we were shopping yesterday. I bought it because I thought it suited you very well. I will bring it to you later or pick it up when you are free."
"Well, okay. Sorry, I didn't prepare a Christmas gift for you."
"It's okay. I'm very happy that you have this intention. Besides, you still have to participate in the archery competition. Thank you for your hard work."
"Thanks……"
"…………"
Suddenly, their conversation stopped.
"...Kato-kun?"
Hasumi Kanoko asked: "What's wrong with you?"
"No, nothing."
"lie."
Yusuke Kato couldn't help but be startled by the harsh words and fell silent.
'Obviously, I was hiding it well until just now...'
He thought so and responded at the same time.
"...Well, I'm just a little tired after finishing the competition."
"is that so……?"
Hasumi Kanoko asked doubtfully: "Then why did you call me?"
After a brief silence, Kato Yusuke answered her in as cheerful a tone as possible.
"It's nothing, I just want to see what you are doing, nothing else. In short, don't stay up too late for work, and remember to go to bed early."
"Yeah~ I understand, and so do you."
Hasumi Kanoko paused and whispered: "...Also, I miss you too."
…
The two said good night to each other and ended the call.
Kato Yusuke looked at the screen of his mobile phone and was silent for a moment.
He originally wanted to chat with Xiao Kano, but now that he knew that the other party was busy, he couldn't selfishly run to disturb him.
What's more, it doesn't seem appropriate to bring your negative emotions to the people around you without authorization.
There is a bit of loneliness floating in the open space in front of the apartment.
Looking up inadvertently.
The moon, like thin ice, floats in the distant sky.
basically.
Whether it is yesterday, today, tomorrow or even the day after tomorrow, helpless tragedies are happening in the world.
Unfortunately, the hands of the clock do not stop for people's grief.
Even after returning home, I wash my hair and take a shower, eat tasteless food, lie under the quilt and cry again, and spend a sleepless night, the world still goes on as usual.
So people continue to wash their faces, brush their teeth, and start a new day.
He also survived this way.
No one can share it with him.
But in fact——
From the moment he saw Sayu, Kato Yusuke felt a tsunami in his heart. He stood there quietly without letting anyone know.
But no matter how hard he tries to hide it, there is still a deep wound in his heart that opens, and bright red blood gushes out from there.
It's like a unique book stored in memory.
His heart began to waver, whether he should continue reading and see the ending of the story.
Especially when he saw the other person's expression on the verge of tears, he felt that his chest was being grabbed tightly, and he couldn't help but want to look away, but he also wanted to get closer.
after all--
That was the girl he once regarded as his life.
However, he could not become Sayu's favorite Iwanami classmate after all.
Ultimately.
It was just an out-and-out fake, not the real thing he was pursuing and longing for.
Something was twisted, and it was twisted by his own hands. This was the result of his own choice, and he had to digest the bitter fruit alone.
Everything is fine with Sayu now and there is no need to worry about a meaningless past.
——Even if it is a real thing that is very important to him.
so.
He forgot nothing, but some things were just for collection.
You can't talk about it, you can't think about it, but you can't forget it either.
Thinking of this, Kato Yusuke let out a deep breath.
Something rolled and rolled in his chest, causing some spasmodic pain in his stomach, making his face turn pale.
At this moment, a girl's voice suddenly called him from behind.
"...President?"
While talking, the person involved ran up to him.
Kato Yusuke looked sideways.
The light gray casual jacket kept flying, revealing loose trousers of the same color underneath, and a pair of furry snow boots on his feet, which looked very warm.
Needless to say, the person who came was Shintiao Xiang.
"Good evening, President, I have everything ready... eh?"
Seeing the bitterness remaining on his face, the girl stopped mid-sentence and stood there for a moment, wondering and not daring to get closer.
"..."
Kato Yusuke tightened the clothes on her abdomen, focused her eyes on the paper bag in her hand, and asked breathlessly: "...What's in it?"
"Well, I have a new set of pajamas and disposable underwear, shampoo and shower gel, toothbrush and toothpaste, towels and bath towels, and I also got a new facial cleanser... That's about it."
"...I understand, go ahead. If she needs anything, try your best to take care of her."
"Yeah~ I understand."
Shinjoka nodded happily, but she didn't act immediately. Instead, she looked at him with some worry.
"By the way, President, are you okay? Your face looks so bad. Are you feeling uncomfortable somewhere?"
"Nothing, just do what you have to do."
Kato Yusuke's voice was deep and his face was ashen.
Shinjoka hesitated for a moment, then asked: "What about you, president? Where do you plan to go next?"
"...I'm going home, remember to tell me if anything happens, that's it."
Kato Yusuke waved his hand and said, then dragged his heavy body and prepared to leave.
"Ah, please wait a moment, President."
Shinjouxiang ran up quickly and stopped in front of him.
"It means it's still snowing outside, and even the trams are out of service. Are you planning to just walk home like this?"
Kato Yusuke remained silent, waiting for her next words.
"Although this is just my suggestion, President, you should stay here tonight. Room 202 is still vacant anyway."
After a pause, Shintiao Xiang added: "Besides, if something unexpected happens to that girl, I can inform you, the president."
"..."
Kato Yusuke glanced at the apartment behind him and asked thoughtfully: "Where is Xiao Xi..."
"The child went to bed early. After all, she is not good at staying up late."
As Shinjoka spoke, he took out a key from his pocket and handed it to him.
"By the way, this is the key to "202". I took it just in case. President, don't stand here in the cold. It will be more comfortable if you quickly go up and take a hot bath~"
"Then, I'll go see that girl first. See you later~"
As soon as she finished speaking, she quickly ran towards "Room 101".
…
Because of this, Kato Yusuke took the key and came to the room on the second floor.
Take off your shoes that are wet with snow at the door.
He walked into the living room with legs that felt like they were filled with lead.
He didn't turn on the light, so he just sat down on the floor.
The layout of the slightly deserted house is basically the same as that of other rooms.
The room was shrouded in silence. Only the north wind outside made the windows rattle and the indoor temperature dropped very low.
Once he calmed down, his thoughts began to grow like vines in the deep forest, making him inevitably worry about the things downstairs.
As he sat here, Sayu--
Is she still crying?
Was Shinjoka comforting her?
Was his just attitude too hurtful?
The things I want to confirm come one after another.
Even though he couldn't do this, he still couldn't help but care about the other person.
The past events replayed in his mind scene after scene, accompanied by unspeakable guilt and sadness, blaming his heart.
Rationality and sensibility collide with each other, causing the internal organs to feel as if they are being burned.
In order to suppress his runaway emotions, Kato Yusuke struggled to stand up from the ground and decided to take a bath to calm himself down.
He walked into the bathroom and closed the door.
He took off his clothes, which had become clammy, and came under the shower head.
Turn on the faucet.
The shower head fixed at a high place then sprayed cold water.
Kato Yusuke put his hands against the wall and let the cold water pour on his head, chilling his bones.
"……Well."
The sobs that he had managed to suppress in front of Sayu surged into his throat again.
The water flowing down the cheeks flowed into the mouth, and the tip of the tongue suddenly felt a strong salty taste.
even so--
He must also face tomorrow with the guilt of hurting Sayu and the decision to refuse.
Even if it's only a small step, he has to move forward.
If he keeps stagnating, he would be very sorry to the girls who have supported him and saved him.
He thought that this must be the end he could achieve.
Until this moment, he still couldn't face his feelings.
He raised his head and lifted his hair, and the gradually hot water continued to pour on his body.
No matter what, he wanted to pursue the real thing.
…
Since he didn't bring any change of clothes, Kato Yusuke had no choice but to wear a bath towel for the time being.
When he walked out of the bathroom, the room that was supposed to be dark was now lit with lights.
In the living room.
Shinjoka was sitting on her knees in front of the low table with her hands on her chin, and she didn't know when she came.
"Ah, have you finished washing? President."
When he saw him coming out, he stood up naturally and came over with a set of clothes in his arms.
"Sorry, I used the spare key to come in without permission. I don't think the president has any clothes that can be changed. I bought these in advance. Please wear them~"
"..."
Without saying anything, Kato Yusuke lowered his head and took the clothes back to the bathroom to change, and then came to the living room again.
When he came back, there were two more mugs on the table, and white steam was rising from them.
"I'll give you some coffee, President."
Shinjoka smiled and pushed a cup over, "I'm sorry, because Xiao Xi is still sleeping and I couldn't turn on the machine, so I only brewed the instant one. Is that okay?"
Kato Yusuke nodded, reached out to take the cup, and asked: "...How's it going down there?"
A strange color flashed in Shinjooka's eyes, and she muttered "Hmm -".
"As for this, I think it's basically okay~"
"Although the girl was a little emotional at first, she stopped crying immediately after seeing the person."
"When I handed those things to her, she said thank you to me. She is so strong."
As she spoke, she picked up her hot milk, took a sip, and said nonchalantly:
"But, I thought the president just picked up someone randomly on the street, but I didn't expect it to be the girl I met in Chiba Prefecture last time. I was shocked."
"..."
Kato Yusuke lowered his head and drank his coffee without explaining.
After a long while, he spoke.
"...If you are fine, take her to a safer hotel to stay in tomorrow until you confirm her departure."