Durian, this heartless person, I was still praising her in the previous sentence. She actually ran upstairs at such a critical moment. Now, how can I deal with Gao Zijian alone?
"Chen Xiaojia, can't you just listen to my explanation?" Gao Zijian stood in front of me and said angrily with a strong sense of irritation in his voice.
My reason tells me that I need to listen to Gao Zijian's explanation, but no, I can't do it.
Just thinking about him and Liu Meiting teaming up to deceive me and separate me from Shi Lei makes every cell in my body tremble. I can't do it.
"Can we talk about it a few days later?" I raised my head slightly, but I didn't dare to meet Gao Zijian's eyes. I knew that if I took one look, I would definitely fall.
But love is no joke to me, and I can't accept Gao Zijian's joking attitude.
"Since you don't speak, I'll take it as your consent." I turned sideways, raised my feet, and prepared to walk forward, "For now, let's all calm down."
Gao Zijian grabbed my hand and asked, "Does it have to be like this? Chen Xiaojia, do you have to do this to me?"
Listening to Gao Zijian's hoarse voice, I also felt a little sad. I took a breath gently and said, "What about you? In the many days we have been together, have you ever thought about confessing to me?
Gao Zijian, every minute and every second we were together, you had the opportunity to explain the problem to me, but you didn't."
Gao Zijian didn't speak, but he didn't let go of his hand holding my wrist at all. I glared at him and looked at him standing beside me with his head hanging down. My heart suddenly tightened and I felt that I couldn't bear it.
Gao Zijian's performance was so similar that every moment he said he cared and liked it, I took it seriously.
But after the lie was exposed, everything became ironic.
"Chen Xiaojia, I did lie to you, but now, am I not asking for your forgiveness?" Gao Zijian looked at me, raised his voice, and continued: "Any couple will cheat, are you going to catch them?"
Don’t you want to let go of the handle?”
I looked at Gao Zijian in surprise and asked: "So, you still think you are justified, right? Gao Zijian, you think your deception to me is insignificant now, right?"
Gao Zijian also had a look of astonishment on his face, and hurriedly explained: "I don't think I am justified, Chen Xiaojia, the court trial also gives the defendant a chance to argue, don't you think it's a bit unfair to me that you ran away so decisively?
"
"Fairness, Gao Zijian, are you talking to me about fairness now? Let me tell you, I have known it for a long time. There is no fairness in this world at all. If it were true, God would not favor me. Otherwise, I would not be loved by you.
Play around with Liu Meiting!"
Gao Zijian stared at me, his dark eyes sparkling. He took a breath gently and said, "Chen Xiaojia, you are so excited now. Do you feel that Gao Zijian has wronged you by following me? Do you feel that if not?
How could you continue to be with Lei Zi without the interference of Liu Meiting and me? Do you think that if you are so dissatisfied now, do you think that no matter how much I, Gao Zijian, do, he is not even half as good as Lei Zi?"
There was a "pop" sound, Gao Zijian shook his left hand, and an apple flew directly out, fell to the ground, and broke into pieces.
I don’t know how much force he used, but he was able to smash a mobile phone until his face was completely shattered. I’m afraid all the violent elements in Gao Zijian’s body were summoned. I didn’t dare to compete with him, because I knew I would definitely lose.
"You are very irrational now. I'll go up first. Let's calm down for two days before we talk." I glanced at Gao Zijian and said with a trembling voice.
"Chen Xiaojia, is it so difficult for you to forgive me just once? Is Leizi that important to you? No matter how much I do, Gao Zijian, I can't compare to him, right?" Gao Zijian stopped me and looked at me with a low voice.
I said, "Tell me honestly, do you still care about him?"
I didn't expect Gao Zijian to say that at all. If knowing that Gao Zijian and Liu Meiting teamed up to split me and Shi Lei was the first thing that shocked me, then now, Gao Zijian's words really hurt me.
I had a clean break and a clear conscience, but I was met with these words from him. If I remember correctly, he should have said it for the second time, right?
"Gao Zijian, what exactly do you want to say?" I squinted my eyes, letting the tears flow out without leaving a trace, and tried to control my voice.
"Chen Xiaojia, do you know? I feel really tired," Gao Zijian suddenly said after a while: "I have always felt that there is no woman in this world that I can't get, and I have always felt that all women,
When you see me, you will throw yourself into your arms. With you, I was frustrated, but I did not give up. I lost face and self-esteem. These are not important. The most important thing is that I can be with you.
But... now, your reaction makes me feel very hurt. Chen Xiaojia, I also want face and self-respect. You can jump into the moat for Leizi, why can't you give me a chance to explain? I
Is Gao Zijian so worthless to you?"
I looked at Gao Zijian in astonishment, coughed lightly, and said, "Gao Zijian, does liking me make you feel wronged that much?"
Gao Zijian also looked at me. His face was blurred into one piece in my eyes. I couldn't see his expression clearly and couldn't hear his voice. I could only look at this outline and guess what he was thinking at the moment.
.
They say love makes people blind, they say love destroys self-esteem, and they say love, in the end, is very hurtful.
If these are Gao Zijian's sincere words, then I apologize to him.
"Gao Zijian, I'm really sorry." I raised my head slightly to stop the tears from flowing down, and continued: "It's me who cares too much about my own feelings. It's me who made you feel wronged. It's me who was too tough and didn't think about it.
Regarding your feelings, I originally thought that the two of us only had a small problem, but now it seems that I thought it was too simple."
My voice was choked, which I didn't like. I continued: "In this case, I think it is necessary for us to separate from each other for a while."
Gao Zijian suddenly raised his head, stared at me, and said: "Chen Xiaojia, you really regret it, right? Even if Leizi is wearing an engagement ring now, you still feel that you regret it, right?"
I knew that too many words would be useless, so I sighed softly and said: "You can think whatever you like, tall and handsome... I... I... I don't have anything to say now."
Explained.”
My voice was no longer coherent, my legs were shaking constantly, and I didn't know what I was afraid of. It's not like I hadn't said it before, but he didn't believe it.
Trust and tolerance are something neither of us can do.
Instead of saying that we love each other more, we should be honest and tell ourselves that we love ourselves more than the other person.
"Okay, Chen Xiaojia, you are amazing!" Gao Zijian raised his head, shook it gently twice, and said: "I, Gao Zijian, admit it, I really admit it, you are amazing, Leizi is even more amazing! You are all amazing! Just
I’m the grandson! Okay!”
I took a gentle breath, tears already bursting from my eyes, falling drop by drop, sliding to my mouth, tasting it, it was bitter.
"You've talked to me so much and kept saying that we need to calm down. Aren't you just trying to make things clear to me?" Gao Zijian saw that I didn't speak and continued: "Aren't you just complaining that I broke up the couple of you two?
Are you a mandarin duck with a miserable life? Don’t you just want to say that I am a bastard and that I am shameless? Chen Xiaojia, I admit it. From the first time I had sex with you, I had already thought that this day would happen! Okay, I will do everything you do.
I understand, don’t you just…don’t you just…want to tell me…to break up?”
The word "break up" flashed across my heart like a bolt of lightning. I started to panic, but my eyes were already blurry. I hurriedly wiped away the tears on my face and opened my mouth, but my voice was stuck in my throat.
"You don't want to say it," Gao Zijian's voice sounded again, and I heard his inhalation, "I said it for you, and we have talked... After talking for a while... I am satisfied.
…”
It turns out that I am not the one who is tired.
"So... you're here to hang out with me?" I took a deep breath, wiped my nose, and tried to keep my expression natural, at least not to make others look down on me.
"Isn't this what you mean?" Gao Zijian put his hands in his pockets and raised his head very high, saying: "I, Gao Zijian, am willing to admit defeat. Although I am not as good as Lei Zi, I also know that strong melons are not sweet. Chen Xiaojia,
That's it, I won't bother you again."
I coughed lightly and said with a fake smile: "It's not easy for you...it's not..."
Gao Zijian shrugged and said with a smile: "It's okay. I have experienced this kind of thing a lot and my immunity is strong."
I nodded gently and said, "Okay."
I originally wanted to say "goodbye" or "see you", but I found that I couldn't say it at all.
He nodded towards Gao Zijian, pointed to the community building, raised his feet and walked forward.
Gao Zijian didn't call me. He was as determined as me, and he didn't even bother to say a stingy word.
I sighed, lifted my steps, hurriedly rushed to the stairs, and hid on the edge of the corridor, sobbing quietly.
How much I want to be in your life, world, and heart for the rest of my life. But, I don’t have the courage to say it...