There is a saying that illness comes like a mountain, and my mother's condition was like this. When Gao Zijian and his father rushed to the hospital, I could feel relieved a little. My father brought two old doctors from the army.
Explain the surgery tomorrow morning.
Li Shu was waiting for me outside the ward. My father and brother went to guard the ward. My mother spoke in a very low voice. After saying a few words, she came out.
There was a layer of ice on my dad's face, and he had never been more serious. I walked over and apologized to him, but my dad told me not to say anything.
I know, everyone feels tired.
Two old doctors and experts from the hospital held a meeting together and determined that the operation time would be early tomorrow morning. I raised my head and looked at the time on the wall. There were still six hours until morning.
My brother asked me to go back and rest, but I couldn't do it. I could only sit outside the ward and wait, for fear that something big would happen.
This night was the longest night I have ever spent in my life. At the end of the corridor, rain pattered against the glass of the window, and a storm swept across the city.
Li Shu was called out by my brother, but he didn’t let me follow him. In fact, I can also imagine what my brother would say to Li Shu. I understand that now, everything must be put behind, including my mother’s health.
, is the first.
They went out for half an hour. Half an hour later, Li Shu sat next to me, took off his coat, and put it on me.
I felt sad again and again in my heart because I didn’t know how I could talk to Li Shu about my mother’s request.
However, I no longer dare to speak.
Everything will be discussed after my mother's surgery. For now, I'll just pretend to be silent.
The three members of my family were standing guard in front of the ward, fearing that if there was an accident, the person closest to me would leave me.
I thought about the last scene where I had an argument with my mother. I really regretted it, but there is no regret medicine in this world.
I still know about my mother’s health. Because of her poor heart condition, she went to the hospital once during my freshman year of high school. She stayed in the hospital for a long time that time. In order not to affect my studies, she and my father didn’t tell me about her at all.
Her condition was serious, and now, when she had to undergo surgery for the second time, her daughter was so angry that she sent her to the hospital.
What did I do?
That night, I seemed to stay awake until dawn.
The operation lasted for more than three hours, and the sweat on my palms became thicker and thicker every time. I was really scared, I was really scared.
I don't know what my mother would be like inside. Whenever I think of those scenes on TV, I can't help but shed tears.
Li Shu did not go to work and stayed by my side. He was silent. I knew that he must also blame himself.
The chief surgeon finally came out of the operating room, and I stood up in a hurry. Only then did I realize that my legs were weak, and my relatives, the closest people in the world, were all around me.
The operation was successful, and now my mother needs to recuperate.
I finally breathed a sigh of relief.
My dad asked my brother and I to go back and rest, but he stayed by my mother's side.
I didn't want to go back, but I couldn't open my eyes anymore.
It was Li Shu who sent me back.
Aunt Xia prepared food for everyone, but I couldn't eat a bite. Li Shu also went back after sending me home. I fell on the bed and fell asleep for a long time.
I had a lot of dreams again. I thought of myself in my student dormitory in Great Britain, smoking weed and calling my mother to ask her about the plum tree.
That time, I was extremely desperate.
I told my mother to help me find him, otherwise, he would never see me again.
We resent each other.
Then, I woke up from the dream.
I washed my face in a hurry, packed the food, and rushed to the hospital.
It's already past eleven o'clock in the evening.
It was still raining outside, and there were wet drops on the corners of my skirt. I carried my things to the ward and stood at the door, but I didn't dare to go in.
On the hospital bed, my mother was lying there with weak breath, eyebrows furrowed, not knowing what she was thinking.
My dad noticed me, walked straight to the door of the ward, took the things in my hand, and sighed softly.
"Your mother woke up once at noon and asked you if you had done what you promised her? What did you two say?" My father looked at me and asked.
I know, my mother is talking about love letters.
I nodded gently and said, "When she asked again, she said that she had done everything she said."
My father didn't say anything. I handed the food over and called Li Shu.
If my mother had not been hospitalized, maybe I would have done what I wanted as always and would not have thought about anything else. But this time, I suddenly understood that there are many choices in life that I have no way of deciding.
Especially, the person who lets you choose is your mother.
Li Shu's voice on the other end of the phone was still sleepy, and I suddenly felt very unbearable. What should I say and what should I do after seeing him?
If this is fate's decision, what should I say?
Li Shu had already left the door before I could finish what I said. He said it was too late now and asked me to wait for him at the entrance of the hospital.
My father and my brother were responsible for taking care of my mother. I hurried out of the hospital alone and walked slowly along the road that Li Shu might have come from. As I walked, I thought, what should I do?
I can't bear it.
Burning love letters, to me, is a thing that blasphemes the love between us. I can't do it. Once I do this, it's time to say goodbye.
But I promised my mother.
The phone rang twice, and when I turned my head, I saw Li Shu sitting in the car.
I still didn’t think about how to tell Li Shu about the temporary separation. My mother’s intention of asking me to burn the love letters was obvious. I also understood what she meant. But could Li Shu understand? At this moment, I want to temporarily separate from him.
Time...can he understand this?
Li Shu meant to take me for a walk, but at 11 or 2 o'clock, if I was in such a mood, I asked him to take me home.
He noticed that my tone was not good. The car entered the compound and stopped at the door of my house. I took a gentle breath and said, "Li Shu, actually, I have something to tell you..."
The critical moment was finally coming, and it was hard for me to imagine how Li Shu would react after I said those words.
"Say." Li Shu's tone was calm and his face was calm.
"You have also seen my mother's condition. I think we..." I deliberately avoided Li Shu's eyes when I spoke, coughed lightly, and continued: "Can we separate for a while?
"
There was a long silence.
Maybe I had thought of it a long time ago. According to Li Shu's character, his reaction is already well controlled. But what should I do? My mother doesn't agree, and there's nothing I can do about it.
"I mean...for the time being..." I saw that Li Shu was silent and continued.
Li Shu suddenly raised his head, glanced at me meaningfully, and said, "Of course, we have come this far, and Zijian has promised to intercede for me, and we will be together."
"But now my mother is in the hospital..." After listening to Li Shu's words, I said anxiously and irritably.
"I know, this is what none of us want," Li Shu explained: "But there is no need to separate. However, give me some time and I will think of a way..."
"Li Shu..." I interrupted Li Shu and looked at him with a begging expression, "Please..."
"I……"
There was another long silence.
I didn't want to stay any longer, so I opened the car door and went back indoors.
I couldn't tell about the love letter. Even if Li Shu could understand, I couldn't.
I left the plum tree downstairs in my house.
His car never left. I walked in through the window, glanced at the envelope on the bed, and couldn't help but shed tears.
Burned.
Mom, you are forcing me.
I bit my lip, took out the envelope, walked directly to the bathroom, took out the lighter, took out the first envelope, took a gentle breath, and pressed out the flame of the lighter. The warm yellow halo just came close to the letter paper.
, my tears flowed down my cheeks.
Burned. Burned.
During those years, that time of waiting, everything you can't let go of, use it to record everything at that time, burn it.
But who am I competing with? With myself? With my mother, or with the plum tree?
The flames moved little by little along the letter paper, and my heart seemed to be cut open by a knife.
There was a "bang" sound, and I raised my head in surprise and heard Li Shu calling me, and then he entered the bathroom.
He looked at me and I looked at him. There were water droplets on his hair. He looked at me in surprise and said, "Gao Ziran, what are you doing sitting here?"
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I looked at Li Shu and said in a choked voice: "Li Shu, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
Li Shu squatted beside me, looked down my hand, and saw the envelope and lighter in my hand. For a moment, he seemed to understand what I was doing, and his strong arms hugged me tightly the next second.
, said: "Gao Ziran, what are you doing?"
"Li Shu, I can't be with you..." I bit my lip and said this, my whole body was trembling, and continued: "I can't live without my mother..."
"So...you want to burn everything I wrote to you?" Li Shu's voice was cold, and I knew that he must be more sad than me.
But what should I do? I...I can't be with you.
"sorry……"
Li Shu put his hands on my shoulders, looked at me seriously, and said: "Gao Ziran, you look at me, you look at me. Everything you are doing now is forced, right? Can we go as far as
It’s so difficult, do you have to do it?”
I looked at Li Shu with tears in my eyes and said, "I'm sorry, I can't, without my mother..."
"What about me? What if I am the one lying in the hospital? Gao Ziran, will you still be so cruel? Tell me?" Li Shu grabbed me as if he was crazy and asked fiercely.
I raised my head and looked at Li Shu and said: "Li Shu, please separate for a while. Give me some time..."
Li Shu looked at me in surprise, with disappointment in his eyes. He suddenly let go of my hand that he was holding tightly, sneered softly, and said: "Gao Ziran, you...you..."
Li Shu didn't say his last words. He had already stood up, walked past me, and walked out silently.