In fact, everyone's life is a process of pursuing their own dreams. With the environment and life, each of our seemingly innocent souls has different dreams and hobbies, and these dreams and hobbies affect our lives.
Life. Continuous influence, constant change, interactive reincarnation. Life is a wheel. - Ronin Wharf
After returning to the dormitory, everyone was obviously immersed in a kind of excitement with excessive secretion of hormones. Several grown men chatted non-stop like little girls.
"Jing is really beautiful, but she feels a bit far away!" The one who spoke was the fourth child, a healthy baby who likes to play games and football, and a very sunny person.
"Are you mistaken? Far? No matter how far it is, how far is it? It's just like an iceberg. If you want to chase her, you have to go to Antarctica to exercise, otherwise you will have to catch a cold!" Lao Wu commented very interestingly.
He is the kind of person who usually doesn't speak, but when he does speak, he will definitely make people think he is very insightful. Because of this character, he even had a very funny nickname in college. Please excuse me and let's talk about it later.
"It's better to be a bell! It's kind, down-to-earth and beautiful, it feels really good!" The second child lay on the bed in a daze with a look on his face like a nymphomaniac. If there was more drool at the corner of his mouth, he would look like a little gangster.
"Well, well, well!" Several other people nodded hurriedly. It seemed that everyone had noticed Ling.
I don’t know why, but at that time I felt a little sour in my heart.
The boss hasn't said much. I think it's probably because Jingtai didn't give him face just now. Indeed, after holding it in for a long time, he finally felt that he could show off, but he was completely ruined by a beautiful beauty.
For a normal man, this is a big blow. Apart from the fact that the boss doesn’t like to change clothes or take a shower, he is quite like a normal man in other aspects, so we estimate that the blow he received will not be small, everyone.
He was also very obedient and didn't mess with him again. After all, the boss is a burly man with a height of 185cm. He will never be the one who suffers when he is anxious. "Rabbits bite when they are anxious" and "A good man doesn't suffer the consequences in front of him".
"We still understand the truth.
Probably because the bell attracts attention very easily, everyone's conversation started to revolve around the bell.
"Ling must be a very easy-going person. He seems to have a very good personality and a very gentle look." It was the fourth child who said it. He said and I nodded.
"Are you mistaken, Second Brother, you are so lucky to meet such a beautiful fellow countryman. Hey, why don't I have such luck!" As soon as the fifth child finished speaking, he fell on his bed, very a little.
Tossing and turning means.
The second child chuckled: "There is no way, I have this condition! If you can't figure it out, just look in the mirror!" Then he sighed again: "I was stupid and didn't ask her if she had a boyfriend. Alas, failure.
!”
"Don't be ridiculous! She's so beautiful, she must have a boyfriend!" I felt a little bit sour in my heart, so I answered in a neutral voice.
At that time, I was really a little unhappy, because I found that I liked Ling. But Ling was the hometown of Er Er. Based on the first-come, first-served principle of college students, I should have been the one to bless Er Er and then step aside to lick his wounds.
Character. This is really frustrating because for the first time in my life, I feel like I like a girl.
This feeling is so wonderful that it is difficult to describe it in words. I just feel that the voice and smile of Ling are constantly appearing in my mind. For the first time, I even feel that my head can actually support fast forward, slow play, pause and other functions of video recorders and VCDs.
Some functions. I keep thinking about what the girl in this room said a few hours ago, what she did, how she laughed, and when I think of fun things, I even smile involuntarily.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. There seemed to be a faint smell of bell in the air. It made me feel very comfortable.
I stretched out comfortably and lay on the bed. I decided not to think about those annoying things for the time being. After all, the bell is still too far away for me. Although we have met and talked, even I
I still succeeded in making her laugh. But, what does all this mean? I don’t think it means anything. I have a good impression of her, and it can even be said that I like her. But I am not crazy enough to fall in love with her right away.
The level of action. From liking someone to chasing her, the distance between them may be very short for some, even just the blink of an eye. But for me, it is very long.
I am a Scorpio. It may be easy for a Scorpio to like someone, but it is difficult for a Scorpio to fall in love with her. So, I know I like Ling, but do I love her? I don’t think I should use this word.
.
So I just smiled and thought about this girl who broke into my heart for the first time in my life. Then I turned on the Walkman and listened to Xu Meijing's "Border 1999" from the Walkman with one ear:
"The eyes convey a message,
Makes my heart sink,
Farewell to the century when you loved me.
Blockade has your memory,
I also stopped longing for freedom,
The horizon of love and pain..."
At the same time, the other ear did not fall down, listening to the routine sleep talk every night, and occasionally interjecting a few words to prove that he was not asleep.
The topic that started tonight is of course related to those girls. Everyone kept talking about those girls, commenting on them, and acted like a veteran in love, although I am very sure that at least four and a half of the five of us are.
Virgin (the remaining half is the fifth child, he is very handsome, a bit like the school sweetheart, so I am not very sure about his virginity retention), but at least at that moment we all forgot about our love life
So poor and ridiculous. Out of a male animal instinct, everyone was frothing at the mouth discussing the good and bad qualities of those girls, studying the pursuit strategies: direct confession, roundabout sending flowers, collective action, alone
Attack... All kinds of tricks that we can get from movies, TV novels and the guidance of so-called "masters" were all revealed. Everyone became addicted to Zhao Gou's ability to talk on paper. In the end, everyone was very satisfied.
, it seems like I won’t take action, and once I do, I won’t take it easily.
Later, the bullshit got louder and louder, and the few existing mms were obviously not enough to provide us with more room for obscenity and imagination, so naturally, everyone started talking about their own love experiences before college.
"I'm not bragging. There must be at least one girl in my high school who chased after me. It was a nuisance every day after school. There were a bunch of girls waiting to go home from school with you..." The person who said this was obviously the fifth half.
He is a virgin. After all, his appearance, his singing voice and other things can make this cow look very real.
However, it was precisely because of this that the remaining four of us had a very sad feeling at that moment. They all felt that their high school life was too bleak and too pale: let alone there were no girls.
Chasing means chasing girls by yourself, and usually someone gives you a "good guy card" (the good guy card means that when you confess your love to the other person, they shyly say to you: You are a good person, I'm sorry! Then you
will be instantly petrified, imagining what the other person’s specific definition of a good person is).
It was for this reason that before Lao Wu finished what he said, a pile of smelly socks, old dictionaries and the like flew over and hit Ya shut up.
In fact, now that I think about it, this is a typical mentality of hating the rich that "cannot see the poor carrying a big bowl". It is precisely because Lao Wu's external conditions make us feel inferior and unhappy, so his showing off makes us even more depressed and unhappy.
I'm so frustrated. If it was the second person who said that, I guess everyone's reaction would not be as intense as before.
I was in a daze as I talked. In fact, I am a very late bloomer and very childish person. The day before the college entrance examination, I squatted in an Internet cafe and played StarCraft online with my friends instead of reading and studying at home. This can be proved by my playful mind.
To me, the so-called high school life is basically a medieval oil painting with strong male colors, without the tenderness and sweetness of women.
I basically spent my high school years in the game room. Later, I borrowed the inspiration from the famous comic "Basketball Flyer" and played basketball for a few days - a high school life that can be described in just one sentence.
But even so, I still liked a girl named Fang at that time. After struggling for a year in my first year of high school, I finally made up my mind to write a love letter to him in my second year of high school. I think it was sincere and touching.
It was earth-shattering. But someone wrote back and told me: We are still young, and now we should devote our limited energy to unlimited study and life, strive to become talents as soon as possible, and contribute to the socialist modernization of the motherland...
The reply was so long that I fell asleep after reading it.
Many years later Fang and I became very good friends, and it was then that she told me that the real reason was that she thought I was too fat...
I couldn't help but laugh when I thought of this: As an ordinary person, at the age of 18, I have never seemed to have any gains in my love life. My previous life was filled with too many masculine symbols, although occasionally
I have also fantasized about a love that is touching and poignant, but at my core, I am still a rational person who lacks enthusiasm. Whether it is Ling or Fang, I don’t need to think too much about love now.
Now I am just a kid who has just entered college, and love is still a very empty word for me. On the contrary, words such as study, canteen, basketball, and games can show their quality more.
I still don’t understand what love is. I don’t want to understand either. There are still many things for me to do.
As for the so-called love, just let everything happen. At that time, I didn’t want to be the screenwriter of my life, but I was content to be an ordinary actor and an ordinary character. So how should the drama of my life develop?
, what is the ending? I have no choice. All I can do is listen to it and accept it, and then try to find an accurate position for myself in this drama.
That's all.
Just thinking about it, I gradually became sleepy. Then I fell asleep.
When love comes, people tend to be reserved and proud. When they are about to lose it, they snatch it away like a wayward child. Who says he is mature, who says he is rational? When you care about everything, you have become a perceptual animal.
—— Ronin Pier
When I got up the next day, I easily stopped thinking about Ling. I also liked Fang when I was in high school, and even wrote love letters to people, but after all, I never started, so I was more familiar with her.
In fact, it is a feeling called secret love, and I am very used to suppressing this feeling in my heart and using many other things to make myself forget it.
Moreover, Ling is a fellow villager of the second child, so there is no possibility for me to intervene from any standpoint. So when I got up, I stretched a lot, and then started to wash up, preparing to hide Ling in my heart.
I have many other things to do: games, basketball, surfing the Internet, watching movies... Oh, and by the way, there are also classes. After all, I am still a student. Although I am very reluctant, class is still necessary. As for girls, I
You can put the priority of this choice very low.
There is a section of advanced mathematics this morning. It is said that people are going to be arrested, so we have to go. Our advanced mathematics teacher is a very powerful person. Our senior brothers always say in front of us that our advanced mathematics teacher is
What awards have I won and what papers have I published? Of course, these are all legendary deeds and have no more existential significance to me.
The only thing I can see with my own eyes and feel personally is the orchid fingers that he pinches from time to time as an old man in his 40s and his sharp voice that looks like a girl - and it is for this reason that I have always been fascinated by Gao
It's quite disgusting. Even if I had to go there today, I would have brought my novel and my walkman to prepare myself for distractions.
In the class, the two pillars of the class, the eldest and the second child, who were active learning students, ran to the first row and sat down neatly. The fourth and fifth children and I, three unambitious underachievers, ran to the last row without any suspense.
Lie down in a remote corner of the card. According to basketball parlance: the boss is the center and the second is the forward. They take care of all the dirty work inside, while our three guards roam around and cooperate on the outside - the five players in the entire dormitory.
The individual formed a 2-3 formation that focused on defense and front-to-back care.
The class bell rang, and the high school mathematics teacher walked into the classroom with light steps. He looked at the classroom full of people with satisfaction, as if he felt very happy, nodded, and said: "My fellow schoolmate Ming (students)
), now we (we) are starting to call names!”
"Oh, mygod!" When I heard him speak, I groaned and lay down on the table.
After taking care of the roll call, the fourth and fifth boys started chatting about StarCraft in the remaining time, while I lay down on the table and fell asleep without any suspense.
I don’t know why, but I rarely dreamed that day, but I had a lot of dreams. I dreamed about Ling, and her smile, which was very sweet and cute. I even dreamed about Fang, and dreamed about my high school life... That was a
It is a very complicated dream. I watch the life I have experienced as if I were watching a movie, and I add elements of freedom in various thoughts without permission. I am drifting, I am imagining, I am flying...
At this time, Lao Wu kicked me hard. A sharp pain made me wake up. I stared and shouted in a low voice: "Are you crazy?!"
He ignored me and pointed in the direction of the podium.
I was puzzled and looked over where he pointed. Then I saw the dark face of our high school mathematics teacher and his orchid fingers.
"This is terrible." I screamed in my heart.
Because of the reasons mentioned above, or you can also understand that this is an excuse I made for myself. In short, when I am not interested in learning, I will easily find a way for myself not to take the advanced mathematics course. It was an excuse to attend class. So the consequence of frequent absences was that the high school mathematics teacher had a very bad impression of me as a person, and he had already been gearing up to take me down during the final exam.
And now that I was openly distracted in his class, you can imagine how terrifying the anger in his heart was. I even felt that his orchid fingers, which he usually holds very elegantly, began to tremble slightly.
"What's your name?" I'm not surprised at all by his question. For a student who misses eight and a half of ten classes, it's really strange that he needs to know me. All he knows is my name, that A name that is often absent without reason.
"Kang Yi," I am very honest. In this situation where you can extend your head and shrink your head with a knife, being secretive will make you look not kind enough.
"Oh, you are Kang Yi?" He was actually smiling. The smile that appeared on his thin face was undoubtedly terrifying, and I began to feel cold.
"Come to my office after class!" His tone was as proud as a cat catching a mouse. Then he returned to the podium and continued to talk about integrals or functions with great interest.
I sighed and sat down. At this time, Lao Wu smiled at me gloatingly - at least that's what I thought, although he later explained that he smiled to reassure me and express sympathy. But at that time, I just feel that his smile makes me have the urge to cheer him up. (If you don’t understand this sentence, you can look at the logo of joy.)
But I didn’t kick him out in the end, because I knew that my life would not be easy after my name and appearance were compared with each other by the high school math teacher. I had already started to prepare for the supplementary exam fee for high school math: “3 credits , 80 per credit, that’s 240 yuan, my monthly food expenses, holy shit!” I cursed secretly in my heart. Then I found that my more pressing issue now is not to consider the preparation of the supplementary exam fee but to concentrate on it. Thinking about how to leave his office alive later.
It was also because of this that I ignored that the dream I just had was the first time I dreamed of a girl in my adult life. The dream was so real and detailed. The emergence of "advanced numbers" prevented me from realizing the depth of my heart as early as possible. some real thoughts, and just regarded the dream as a very ordinary thing.
Finally, class was over, and I obediently followed "Gao Ma" to his office. He was obviously very proud: a naughty student was finally in his hands, which was undoubtedly a blessing to the peaceful life of a teacher. It was a very interesting extracurricular diversion. He sat down and took a sip of tea to moisten his throat and prepare himself for a long battle.
Then he began to train me, from the traditional way of telling facts and reasoning to citing classics. Looking back on his teaching career in the past decades, he has never encountered me so unbearable, so decadent, so unmotivated, so
I don’t know the so-called student. His sharp words and passionate tone made me wonder if the person sitting in front of me was the one I knew. He pointed his orchid fingers and liked to say: "Advanced mathematics is a very profound subject!"
That teacher. In short, if I hadn’t always been very thick-skinned, I would definitely have cried with embarrassment when he said he was sweating all over my body. But it was precisely because I was not thin-skinned that I faced his endless talk,
Still able to maintain a calm and nonchalant attitude.
Seeing that his earnest persuasion had no obvious effect, and the naughty student in front of him still looked indifferent, the senior mathematics teacher was obviously angry. His reprimands had already reached the lower limit of "teaching"
I don’t know where he went, and he started yelling at me: “I have been teaching for so many years, and this is the first time I have seen a student like you who doesn’t want to make progress! Look at you like this, always skipping classes and occasionally attending classes.
I'm so distracted, how can you find a job after graduation?"
Seeing him getting more and more enthusiastic as he spoke, and seeing how difficult it was to deal with this matter today, I sighed in my heart, lowered my head, and pretended to be frightened, ready to sacrifice myself to satisfy his old man's self-esteem and self-confidence.
So that I can get out of it as soon as possible: "Teacher, I know I was wrong. I will change it in the future! I will definitely study hard, make progress every day, and strive to be a new member of the Fourth Youth League, a labor model, a youth commando, and a March 8th red flag bearer..."
My tone was very sincere, and I even tried hard to squeeze out two tears to match my mood.
"Stop it, stop it, what are you talking about, the March 8th Red Flag Bearer? Where did you take it!" "Gao Shu" saw that I had even pulled out the March 8th Red Flag Bearer, and became even more anxious.
"No, no, wasn't this a slip of the tongue? You see, people make mistakes and horses make mistakes. A wise man will make a mistake after all his considerations. Besides, I'm still a fool. Just give me another chance. I realize it deeply.
My mistake!" My expression became more and more frightened.
Looking at my honest and kind look, "Gao Shu" felt that his more than half an hour of training had finally paid off, and he felt very satisfied. When he saw that it was time for lunch, he felt that he was not interested in fighting, so he waved his hand to let me out.
Already.
I feel very lucky to be able to live in a "high-majority" office. My heart is filled with the momentum of my revolutionary predecessors who "cannot grow up without taking risks" and "everything is easy". I feel that I should do something to celebrate that I am getting better and better.
Thick skin and less and less self-esteem.
So I was going to watch a movie. I was so proud. Then I returned to the podium and continued to talk about integrals or functions with gusto.
I sighed and sat down. At this time, Lao Wu smiled at me gloatingly - at least that's what I thought, although he later explained that he smiled to reassure me and express sympathy. But at that time,
I just feel that his smile makes me have the urge to cheer him up. (If you don’t understand this sentence, you can look at the logo of joy.)
But I didn’t kick him out in the end, because I knew that my life would not be easy after my name and appearance were compared with each other by the high school math teacher. I had already started to prepare for the supplementary exam fee for high school math: “3 credits
, 80 per credit, that’s 240 yuan, my monthly food expenses, holy shit!” I cursed secretly in my heart. Then I found that my more pressing issue now is not to consider the preparation of the supplementary exam fee but to concentrate on it.
Thinking about how to leave his office alive later.
It was also because of this that I ignored that the dream I just had was the first time I dreamed of a girl in my adult life. The dream was so real and detailed. The emergence of "advanced numbers" prevented me from realizing the depth of my heart as early as possible.
some real thoughts, and just regarded the dream as a very ordinary thing.
Finally, class was over, and I obediently followed "Gao Ma" to his office. He was obviously very proud: a naughty student was finally in his hands, which was undoubtedly a blessing to the peaceful life of a teacher.
It was a very interesting extracurricular diversion. He sat down and took a sip of tea to moisten his throat and prepare himself for a long battle.
Then he began to train me, from the traditional way of telling facts and reasoning to citing classics. Looking back on his teaching career in the past decades, he has never encountered me so unbearable, so decadent, so unmotivated, so
I don’t know the so-called student. His sharp words and passionate tone made me wonder if the person sitting in front of me was the one I knew. He pointed his orchid fingers and liked to say: "Advanced mathematics is a very profound subject!"
That teacher. In short, if I hadn’t always been very thick-skinned, I would definitely have cried with embarrassment when he said he was sweating all over my body. But it was precisely because I was not thin-skinned that I faced his endless talk,
Still able to maintain a calm and nonchalant attitude.
Seeing that his earnest persuasion had no obvious effect, and the naughty student in front of him still looked indifferent, the senior mathematics teacher was obviously angry. His reprimands had already reached the lower limit of "teaching"
I don’t know where he went, and he started yelling at me: “I have been teaching for so many years, and this is the first time I have seen a student like you who doesn’t want to make progress! Look at you like this, always skipping classes and occasionally attending classes.
I'm so distracted, how can you find a job after graduation?"
Seeing him getting more and more enthusiastic as he spoke, and seeing how difficult it was to deal with this matter today, I sighed in my heart, lowered my head, and pretended to be frightened, ready to sacrifice myself to satisfy his old man's self-esteem and self-confidence.
So that I can get out of it as soon as possible: "Teacher, I know I was wrong. I will change it in the future! I will definitely study hard, make progress every day, and strive to be a new member of the Fourth Youth League, a labor model, a youth commando, and a March 8th red flag bearer..."
My tone was very sincere, and I even tried hard to squeeze out two tears to match my mood.
"Stop it, stop it, what are you talking about, the March 8th Red Flag Bearer? Where did you take it!" "Gao Shu" saw that I had even pulled out the March 8th Red Flag Bearer, and became even more anxious.
"No, no, wasn't this a slip of the tongue? You see, people make mistakes and horses make mistakes. A wise man will make a mistake after all his considerations. Besides, I'm still a fool. Just give me another chance. I realize it deeply.
My mistake!" My expression became more and more frightened.
Looking at my honest and kind look, "Gao Shu" felt that his more than half an hour of training had finally paid off, and he felt very satisfied. When he saw that it was time for lunch, he felt that he was not interested in fighting, so he waved his hand to let me out.
Already.
I feel very lucky to be able to live in a "high-majority" office. My heart is filled with the momentum of my revolutionary predecessors who "cannot grow up without taking risks" and "everything is easy". I feel that I should do something to celebrate that I am getting better and better.