People at each stage will have a drink that suits them. When they were young, it was milk, when they were older, it was soda and cola, and when they were older, they were coffee and tea. Each drink corresponding to each stage represents the state of mind at that time. When you first arrive in the world,
, emotions and the inner world are simply like a piece of white paper, and white milk is the most suitable; after getting a little older, I have some understanding of myself and some understanding of the world, but "young people don't know what it's like to be sad", with
Carbonated drinks are also most suitable for that age when you are flying and jumping; later, the once ignorant boy began to understand life, learned to love and be loved, and understood the reality and non-romantic side of society, so that kind of straightforwardness
White drinks are no longer suitable for our slightly vicissitudes of life. Coffee and tea taste bitter, but the aftertaste is very fragrant, just like the life we are facing at this time.
I don’t know when I started to fall in love with coffee. At first, I probably just wanted to pretend to be cool and make myself look like an adult. But later, I gradually fell in love with this bitter drink. It’s bitter yet sweet, sweet.
There is bitterness in it - just like love. The story of By Ronin Pier Jing has come to an end temporarily. After she stopped telling, she returned to her carefree and lively look, and she looked at my reaction curiously.
, waiting for me to speak.
But I didn't know what to say. She answered some questions for me, but left me with more questions. I wanted to know more about what happened between Ling and him, everything. Although I knew,
I can't change anything anymore, but knowing about Ling's past and knowing everything about this girl who made my heart aching is extremely important to me. How can you say you love someone if you don't understand them?
"Your story is not finished yet."
"Yes, this story is only half told. There is another half that I didn't tell because I wanted to see your reaction first."
"My reaction?"
"Yes, I want to see if you deserve to hear the other half of the story."
"I also want to know why you know this story about Ling? You probably only met Ling when we were in college, right?" This is my biggest question. When I just told that memory quietly, I felt clearly that Ling was
I am narrating the details. It is impossible for someone who has not experienced it to explain the details so clearly.
"Ling is my best friend."
"Is this your answer?"
"This is the answer I can tell you now. One day you will know why I know so much about Ling's past. But there are some things that I can't say now. But you can guess!" She smiled slyly.
Yes, there is nothing wrong in this world. If anything happens at the right time and in the right place, it will be correct and in line with common sense. I know the truth, but I still can’t let it go. I feel like being
It feels like I have put down my condom. I don’t like this situation where others know things that I don’t know.
"Ok, then let's not discuss this topic. Do you think my current reaction is enough to hear the other half of the story?"
"I have no idea!"
"What, you don't know, aren't you playing with me?"
"Ronin (forgive me for using my English name here, because I am still not used to writing the word "Kangyi", so I will use ronin from now on), you are a very strange man." Jing looked at me seriously.
, speaking word by word. "You have a trait that makes people unable to see through. It's hard to guess what your real thoughts are." She thought about it and came to a conclusion: "You are too good at hiding yourself!
Makes you feel very insecure”
"I..." I was inexplicably slapped with such a big hat. I was a little speechless. But I knew what she said was right. I didn't know where to start. I started to split myself into two people. I
I hope that I will always look that confident in front of others, and my fragile side, my thoughts are kept deep in my heart, waiting to be slowly digested and processed when I am alone. I think this look will
It made me feel safe, but I didn't expect that it would make others think I was insecure. A paradox, isn't it?
"Goodbye..." Jing interrupted me. "The way you are now is really worrying."
"What are you worried about?" I was already stupid.
"Nothing?" Jing realized that she had slipped her words and quickly changed her words: "Whether it's this story or a relationship. Think about it for yourself. Are you ready?"
Am I ready? Do I need to prepare to love someone?
I was stunned for a moment. Jing ignored me and sat down to eliminate the snacks on the table.
Do you need to prepare to love someone? Of course! The world is very fair. When you get some things, you will inevitably lose others. So when facing a relationship that you have longed for, are you really ready to take on the responsibility that belongs to you?
Responsibility, do you want to give up that freedom that didn't seem valuable at the time? Think carefully before you answer "yes".
I have to admit that before Jing said that, I really didn’t think too much about it. I like Ling, her appearance, her character, her past makes me feel distressed, and her smile makes my heart move. I
Want to be with her, that's all. Responsibility? What is that.
Ling is a special girl, not only her character, but also her past is quite special. For a girl under 20 years old, she seems to have experienced too many things that she should not have experienced, admit it
She has put too much pressure on her that she should not bear. Am I ready to face such a girl?
Can I bring her happiness just with a blinding impulse? What Jing said makes sense. If I still face the relationship with Ling with the same mentality as before, then the final result will be
It could be another injury to her.
Thinking of this, I felt like I was breaking out in a cold sweat.
From that moment on, my attitude towards the relationship between Ling and me changed. I was no longer like a willful child who wanted to have her very persistently just because I liked something. To me, Ling was more like
An existence that makes me feel distressed and pity me. I just look forward to her happiness and joy, even if these are not what I can bring her. I don’t know if this is still love, but I know that I matured at that moment.
I learned a lot. All the stories, all the joys, sorrows, and joys later changed because of this decision I made at that moment.
Ling, you are happy, so I am happy.
I am watching you swim on this shore, and I am touched by your strength. You will, and you will be happy one day - Tao Jingying's "Women's Hearts"
The Tripitaka says: "There are ninety moments in one thought, and nine hundred births and deaths in one moment." The second chapter of the Surangama Sutra says: "Contemplate the truth, moment by moment. I cannot stop between thoughts, so I know that my body will never change.
"Destroy." There are sixty moments in a snap of the finger. And the short span of a moment contains all the phenomena of birth, existence, change and death, and it changes impermanently.
The fact is that we make different choices every minute and every second. These seemingly insignificant choices often make major changes in our lives at a time when we least expect it: for a nail, throw away a shoe;
For a shoe, a horse is lost; for a horse, a knight is lost; for a knight, a battle is lost; for a battle, a kingdom is lost.
At that moment, I made a choice: I wanted this girl not to suffer any grievances or have any unhappiness from now on. Then, from that moment on, the story of Ling and I began to change.
To this day, I still often wonder. If I had not made that decision at that time, would the story of Ling and I have been less tortuous? But there is no such thing as "if" in this world, so I
Now we can only tell this story according to the path after this decision.
Ling, you are happy, so I am happy.
When I made this decision, I felt like something sublime enveloped me. I was in a very tragic mood. Those who even gave their lives for the heroine in the novels and TV shows I had read before
Images of men passed before my eyes one by one, and finally, I was going to become one of them!
Although I think it's ridiculous now that I think about it, after all, love is not a one-sided effort but the result of integration and compromise between both parties. But at that moment, I was even moved by my own tragedy and wanted to cry.
So when I raised my head and looked at Jing, my expression was very solemn. It even shocked Jing.
"What’s wrong with you?"
"I want to know the story of Ling. All the stories."
"Why should I tell you?!"
"Because I love her and I want to know everything about her. And I won't become another 'him'."
"You..." Jing was intimidated by my sudden self-confidence, probably because from the time she met me until just now, I have always been a submissive and inactive person in her heart. And this sudden change in my image, even
A good change will also make others feel incredible or even doubtful - human beings are animals that are easily influenced by habits.
"If I remember correctly, this is the first time that you have been left speechless by me. I know this is incredible, but after what you just said, I think it's time for me to make some changes." I said sincerely.
Zhu Jing said, "Ling is the girl I liked for the first time, so I don't know how to love and cherish someone, so I have always kept my feelings for Ling in my heart and dare not express it."
I thought this would make me look less impulsive, and it was true, but it made me look even more childish. Ling is not an ordinary girl. Her past stories have determined her current personality. So if I don’t take the initiative anymore
If I do, I might lose this girl and the first heart-pounding relationship in my life. I think I need to be more mature. Only by understanding her past can I stop her from thinking about it!"
At that time, Jing was completely defeated by me. She suddenly didn't know what to say because of her sharp tongue. I became more and more convinced that what she said to me today was premeditated. Based on a certain purpose,
She told me a story about Ling's past in such detail, and tried to get some feedback from me.
But my reaction was something she didn't expect. She didn't expect that a seemingly rational person like me would be so impulsive, and she underestimated the effect of the bell on me.
So some of the lines and scenes she had arranged in advance were no longer used, and she had to reorganize her defenses at this moment. At that moment, Jing and I stood on the same level, and I didn’t have to worry about being led by her.
Gone.
"Have you thought about it?" I asked her.
"You, you, you... you are very strange."
"Is it strange? I'm just telling you sincerely that I want to know everything about Ling. I love her and I want her to be happy. If this is also called strange, please tell me what is not strange." My word front
Became sharper.
"I, I, I... let me think about it!" After finishing speaking, Jing pushed the table away and left.
I was left unresponsive, with a lot of snack remains and a lot of question marks.
This, what on earth is going on?
I began to speculate that Qijing was abnormal. I even thought that she might have been asked by Ling to test me. I was very excited about this speculation for a while. But I told myself that this was impossible.
Ling knows that I like her, but I don’t know if Ling likes me. For a girl like her, I am very happy that she can accept me and become friends with her. I still dare not expect her recognition and affection.
of.
Maybe one day, she will lie in my arms and smile sweetly. But that is not yet.
What happened between Ling and him? Why did Ling commit suicide again? What was Jing’s purpose in telling me these things? What was my position in Ling’s mind... I felt my head was getting bigger, and I suddenly remembered
A song by Zhou Huajian: A woman like you makes me happy, makes me sad, and adds a lot of sorrow to me...
Ling, what kind of person are you? Ling, do you know how much I love you? Ling, I am thinking of you. Do you know?
It was already very late, I paid the bill and walked out of the store. The night wind was very cool, which gave my overthinking head a brief moment of clarity. I enjoyed the feeling of the cool breeze blowing on my face.
Then he once again wrapped himself up in an indifferent shell, but his heart was as turbulent as a computer spinning at high speed.
My thoughts were very complicated. I thought about the decisions I made, what Ling was doing now, how Ling and I looked together, whether one day I would be moved by Ling, what Jing did when she went back, and what she did when she returned home.
When will Jing tell me the other half of the story? I wonder how I will react after knowing that story. I even thought about the second child. I felt a little proud at that moment. I knew that I had dumped the second half.
In the back.
"Oh, buddy! Do you still remember me?" A voice sounded behind me.