"Then what do you want? Freedom? Ideals? Or wandering around and being a social wanderer?" She raised her head and looked at me ruthlessly with a destructive look. She seemed to tell me that I was not qualified to travel in life.
After a few years of "freedom", your job will be stable and you will have full freedom. "Ideal" is something that is extremely unrealistic, and you will pay a heavy price for it..."
"Isn't that the reward you're referring to that I'm about to pay for this?"
"That's different!"
"Absurd" I was angry. "Mom, I have blood and flesh, and I have more self-esteem! Why do you always destroy my beliefs? Make me mentally poor? What is your solution to the problem? You destroy me.
Will you change my itinerary? You don’t want me to sleep in the open air. That’s because of your selfishness and narrow-mindedness. I want to have an independent space and raise the white sail of life and freedom. Ideals are my whole soul. I refuse you to use sharp tools.
Cutting my poor perfection with a table knife!"
"Han, is this the reason why you exercised your junior power and declared war on me?"
"I have made you uneasy for half your life, but you have made me miserable for the rest of my life. Compared with you, I have lost more than you, haven't I?" A kind of pleasure quietly floated from my heart.
Mom's face changed color, purple or cyan? "Reason will not be influenced by recklessness, childishness is sour fruit, innocence is bitter fruit!"
"If intelligence and reason are what you call wisdom, then I would rather not have them."
She suddenly smiled bitterly. "What example can I give you to help you distinguish the pros and cons?" She sighed slightly: "Can you tell me and assure me that you will have a bright future? Really
Situations often produce strange results and are counterproductive, you will tell me so. I also know that the will to force is not strong, but aren't you now wasting your own future and letting yourself fall into regret? "
"I am definitely not the one who needs to think and be cautious. As a mother, you have already given enough. I don't want to drain away the last 'wisdom' left in you. Rejection is also a kind of power, and I want to exercise this power.
."
"Reject, power?" cried the mother, "Only stupid people would refuse. This surprises me. What monster makes your thoughts disordered and blurs your vision in the chaos?" Tears of melancholy and melancholy are a dramatic step.
We arrive in an instant, like *, regardless of the season...
My brain was squeezed again, and the feeling of impact lingered for a long time, and my mother's trump card showed up again. Others smiled and hid their knives, but my mother was crying and carrying the knives. Unexpectedly,
Sometimes she gave me a fatal blow. She sobbed... My bottom line was completely crushed. I gradually felt tinnitus and dizziness. I thought that from now on, there would no longer be clarity in my blood.
"Your crying has made me tired and scared. I don't want to hear it anymore." I used up my last bit of strength.
"I just want you to be happy. Is this wrong?" She seemed more innocent.
Yes, none of us are wrong, it's just fate. If I were a bird with wings, my wings would be clipped by my mother at this time, and I would not be able to fly. So, the poor misery approached me. My mother was obviously
The winner, she got the contract that bound me and realized the love that paved the way. As for me, I was not moved by my mother's "piety", and the charity of hidden love did not make me feel the slightest pleasure, and even formed a
I can't get rid of the ultimate loneliness, which is the disaster caused by extreme maternal love. Haha, mom, there is sand in my eyes...
I could have left, but I quickly turned around and said to my mother: "You have turned me into an obedient lamb. Are you proud of this? Maybe one day, I will enjoy it alone in the dark and sleepless night.
Helpless and lonely, if I want to cry, I will find a container to hold it and keep it forever. This is your gift. I will show it to you when necessary..." The sarcastic language made me
I felt bursts of pleasure, and my mother's stiff body let me know that my vicious words had worked. I made my mother shed her last tears, and she became angry, leaving traces of those slender fingers on my face...
She beat me as a punishment for my madness. I covered my red and swollen face and squinted at her before saying the last word: "I miss daddy!"
I broke her last psychological defense, and she said incoherently and in a panic: "Does it hurt...?..."
I avoided the trembling hand, stepped back, and then backed away.
She retracted her hand and said weakly: "Han...Mom...I'm sorry..."
I ran away angrily, and she beat me, the first time...
The August day is hot, and I can clearly hear the whirring sound of the electric fan. The house is very small, and the beams and columns of the roof are evenly spaced with wooden boards and tiles, and the slope goes straight up. This is already an "antique"
.It has been seventeen years, and I have been with it day and night. I have never observed it as carefully as I do now. It has carried my ups and downs, joys, sorrows, and joys for seventeen years. Now I am leaving, and I am reluctant to leave.
And Juan Lian, just because you have my childhood figure in your memory...
Yue'er was standing in front of me, and I was vaguely visible in his blurred vision. What is family affection? It is blood relationship, the connection of active red blood cells in the blood. Watching the clouds relax, the flowers blooming and falling, inadvertently, along the way
It is destined that scholars must face the intoxication of dreams and the heartbreak of life.
What happened next left a deep imprint in my memory. The simple lock was shattered, empty and poor. The empty life was like the sleeping sunlight, which lost its dazzlingness and became more quiet. The fragrance of the growing stamens gradually faded.
, more indifference, lost Qingling.
When the old quartz clock on the back wall jingled beside me, my rock-hard heart was hit hard. I had to give up my self-esteem and start to obey. This seemed to be a requirement of work. I have always been very strange.
Where do the maple leaves in winter get their greenish color? Little do they know that they are just particles in the wind and have no ability to change the situation. When the free crimson dreams are asking the honest floating, running and jumping spirits, I ask myself: What am I?
Just petals in a five-color flower! What do I care about? I am struggling in the darkness of the deep cliff. What does my mother care about? Her magic invades my cells like a vine and entangles me deeply. I am not a clown, but
More pathetic than a clown.
After seeing too many tearful parting scenes, I became indifferent. The short parting was staged like a show. I waited for my cousin to take me home...
The black car stopped in front of my house, and I met my cousin for the first time, the woman who wanted to take me home. It was not the first time I met a gorgeous and elegant woman, but I was still attracted to her.
The unique charm of a mature woman is revealed in every gesture. Her long black flowing skirt is in sharp contrast to her mother's coarse shorts and sweatshirt. There is a clear contrast between her white and bright face and her dry and dull face.
She stepped to the ground, and the little boy in her arms looked around in panic. It was a beautiful little boy, as beautiful as her mother. I like his eyes, spotless and holy. He is a one-year-old child, but he is as beautiful as his mother.
With the wisdom of an overage child, he looked at me timidly and hugged her mother's neck tightly...
I laugh...
My mother met her cousin, my cousin, and we shared our long-lost thoughts with each other. I saw the tears and was actually moved.
She put down her child and touched my head: "Han'er, right? You must be a sensible child." She said with a slight smile on her lips.
I admire her art of speaking. She is an elegant woman. Even her smile is so gentle.
She held the beautiful little boy's hand, and her mother led them into the house.
It is natural to be polite, but the woman politely pushed her back. The mother hugged the little boy and teased him. He was very naughty and just stared at his mother.
"Yier, are uncle and aunt okay?" Mom asked
"Well, they are all in good health." The woman replied.
"I haven't seen them in two years!"
"Yes, they haven't seen you for a long time, and they always nag you no matter what happens!" the woman said with a smile as if sighing.
Mom smiled: "How is your work with Yu Sen?"
"It's okay, I'm just a little busy."
"This is always the case in administration!"
"Yeah. Yes, I'm always busy." "How are you doing, sister?" Another polite word.
"As the children grow older, life will become easier." After my mother said this, she looked at me.
The woman smiled at me again: "Han has grown up. She was as big as Jing'er when we first met her! She has grown up to be such a big girl in a blink of an eye." She said and looked at the little one. Then I knew,
That little brother's name is Yu Jing. A little kid I will be with for several years...
Sometimes separation is just a form, a more complete process, a kind of termination and relief. I brought a change of clothes, hugged the unfamiliar Yu Jing and sat in the car. Outside the car were my thin mother and brother.
There were also the faces of familiar villagers. The car started and took me away from my home and drove to another country...
"Sleepless Rain":
Above the wilderness, the strings of the piano were moved,
The sky is dimmed, the wind is blowing,
Be arrogant and arrogant, welcome the rain proudly,
Cold as snow, my heart is as cold as ice,
The soul is also confused, how can it leave traces?
There is no limit to the retraction and release, so I am speechless!
The first time we met came back like a shadow. After so many years, I still remember the scene of those big and warm hands holding my little hand and walking on the city streets. He smiled at me and asked: "Girl, do you like it?"
Here?"
"Is dad here?" The sun shone on me, my eyes narrowed into a thin line and I looked up and asked.
"Girl, your answer is wrong!" He glared at me pretendingly.
"Oh" I lowered my head, "I like..." My voice was very low. Then I raised my head and asked loudly: "Dad, don't you want a girl anymore?" I still remember that he just took me to see a woman, and that woman was wearing
Beautiful clothes, speaking fluent and pure Mandarin. She told me that she was very rich and would buy me a lot of things that I liked, just to get me to call her: "Auntie!" Is that really the case?
?I don’t believe it! I’m not young anymore! I’m seven years old!! But why do you ask me to call her aunt? When she saw me, she kept hugging me and even wanted to pick me up, but I broke away.
The woman was very tall, almost as tall as my father, and very thin. She wore a floor-length blue dress and was very beautiful. "You are prettier than my mother, so I will call you aunt?" I yelled at her.
My dissatisfaction. I shrank in his arms, hugged his thigh, and peeked at her warily. He just put one arm around my petite body, and said to the woman in embarrassment: "The child is still young.
!" Then he sighed.
The woman was very disappointed. Yes, I saw the tears shining faintly in her eyes. Those eyes seemed familiar...
"Han'er is cute! Just like you!... She just has a stubborn temper!! You have to treat her well!! Don't let her get hurt, okay?" She seemed to be begging for something, her voice was a little hoarse...
He smiled at the woman and did not answer...
"Are you okay?" the woman asked suddenly.
"Well, what about you?"
The woman looked at me longingly and said mockingly: "Without her, everything would be bad."
"What do you mean without me?" I was disgusted with that woman.
"Let's go, Dad." I wanted to pull him away.
The woman sighed and laughed: "Everything is fate. Let's go. I wonder when we will meet again?"
"You will meet one day, believe in yourself!" Dad said.
The woman smiled and said no more, and let me pull my father out of the luxurious restaurant. The wind blew the pink dress that my father bought for me. But I left that woman behind...
"Girl, you like it here, don't you?" His voice became gentle. He knelt down and said into my eyes.
I bit my finger, said nothing, and looked at him timidly, with tears in my eyes...
"Why were you so rude just now? Is that what a girl should have?"
"Who asked her to let me call her aunt? I don't like her!" I defended.
"Why? She likes you very much!"
"It's her business that she likes me! I just don't like her!!" Tears flowed down my cheeks and dripped on my pink dress, which was a chest-length suspender dress with a hem.
I embroidered a beautiful bunny, and there were seven-color smurfs embroidered on the skirt. I bought it in the mall next door before I met that woman. When I put it on, I walked around my dad ten times. I
I was so happy, that was the only dress I liked. I also asked: "Dad, is it beautiful?"
"Well, of course, my girl will always be beautiful!"
I giggled...
I look petite and exquisite in the mirror.
I am not beautiful, but my father exaggerated. I don’t have my mother’s beautiful and charming eyes, my father’s straight and handsome nose, and I don’t even have the perfect figure of the little girl of the same age as me whom I saw on the road.
…
But dad still said I was beautiful...
"Are you going to give me away?" I shouted. "You ring!!!" "I'm not beautiful, why does she like me?" I cried. I grabbed his hand and bit it hard, crying.
Then I ran towards the road, my skirt flew up, the long flaps flew up, and my person also flew up...
He panicked. "Han...han...stop...there's a car..." When he got up, I had already run two meters away. I ignored him. I wanted to cross the road. I thought and did it.
…
"Han..." I heard that he was so frightened that he couldn't make a sound. I saw that the car was almost flying to my side. I was afraid: "Dad..." I felt that I had no vision and hearing... the car
Speeding by, I'm still there...
I was so frightened. He hugged my girl and screamed, he hugged me tightly: "Dad will never give my girl away. No, never!!!" He swore to me, I drilled
In his arms, I burst into tears...
My hunch was right, he really wanted to give me away. But after that time, he never asked me to see that annoying woman again, and took me away from this city forever...
clear lake water/
Ripples are caused by you/
lonely back/
Take pity on my tired longing/
Hold up the old dream/
The sky held up is green/
Looking and knowing each other/
The love flower in the blue sea fades and blooms/
Tears of no end of the world/
There are traces of lovesickness/
Feeling confused on the way back/
Meeting a stranger is heartless/
"At that time..." This was written by my father after my father and I met that woman. I remembered this poem, so when I was older, I already knew that she was my father's lover. And I would always think about it countless nights.
When I arrived, I saw that woman in my dream. After I woke up, I was covered in cold sweat. I didn’t tell my mother. This was my guilt for my mother, and I begged her to forgive me from the bottom of my heart!
Dad left, and I never came to this city again, let alone saw that woman. I knew that as long as I didn't tell, no one would know this secret.
Yes, to this day, no one knows this secret! No one will ever know! I hope I am never allowed to see that woman again, ever!!!
My cousin drove the car into a family community like a fish swimming, and parked the car in front of the garage in front of the building. "We're here!" he said to me gently, and helped me untie the safety belt tied to my body.
The little child was sitting in my arms. He was not used to me holding him yet. He broke away from my arms and stretched out his arms towards his mother.
"Mom, give me a hug!" A very childish voice.
After hearing this, I felt sour in my heart. I often said this to my father...
She took her child from my arms, put her little pink face on her mother's face, and sweetly called: "Mom"
He called me mom, and I was also thinking about my mom. My nose was sore, but there were still no tears.
Strange, strange world, strange city, strange home, strange people, everything starts from the strange...
"Hey, it's so boring!"
In the back garden of the Imperial Academy, Zheng Shayu held her chin in her hands and said depressedly.
"Second sister, why do you complain that you are bored every day?" Zheng Yanchen frowned.
"Chen'er, you don't understand the loneliness of a person like me. My psychology is so mature, but I have to be wronged in this child's body and can't use my fists. It's so regretful and depressing." Zheng
Shayu looked helplessly at her hands and feet.
Zheng Yanchen's face trembled, "Second sister, don't you know that you are the second young prince who was called a loser by Taoist Qingling? You actually claim that you are mentally mature so brazenly, but your current body makes you feel wronged... God
Ah! Second sister, is your head broken?"
Zheng Shayu glared at her, "You stinky girl, don't you want to hang out anymore!" What a loser, these children's tricks are enough to fool these children. Her skills are completely comparable in this ancient time.
She is a master, but she is just too lazy to move. She is a senior agent of the Military Intelligence Agency in the 21st century, with eighteen martial arts skills and omnipotence. How can it be difficult to defeat her with just this child's tricks?
Zamabu and Sanquan are such boring things. Do you want her to repeat how she went through her childhood in the 21st century?
So she simply was too lazy to move, but the wise old man always thought that she was a stupid child who could not learn no matter how much he was taught. He often called her "waste wood" because he hated that iron could not become steel.
She was too lazy to explain, so over time, Master Qing Ling stopped caring about her. However, she was extremely interested in Qing Gong and always practiced it in private.
The Imperial Academy is an aristocratic academy in the Snow Kingdom, specializing in recruiting children with excellent qualifications from the royal family. Ordinary children are unable to enter and study.
Despite this, Zheng Shayu, a good-for-nothing, is still thriving in the Imperial Academy because she has the most noble status of being the second daughter of His Majesty the Empress.
Although she is a loser, she is extremely popular.
Just as she sighed, her eyes suddenly lit up and she said to the four younger sisters beside her, "I heard that the academy won't let us go home in the next three days?"
"Well, I heard from Taoist Priest Qingling that he wanted to test us, so he allowed us to stay overnight." Zheng Jiechun said very seriously. She is Zheng Shayu's fourth sister.
"Well, do you know where the boys will stay overnight?" Zheng Shayu's eyes lit up.
"It seems to be in the north yard, second sister, what's wrong?" Zheng Jiujiu asked strangely. She is the youngest, Xiaoliu.
"Second sister, why do I smell a conspiracy?" Zheng Xinyuan glanced at Zheng Shayu strangely, who was smiling like a feline cat.