563. Chapter 563 Temporary fascination and intoxication
A moment of confusion and intoxication,
A brief moment of clarity,
A word of gentle care,
Plant with my tenderness,
Use your tenacity to protect,
Will it still wither in this sleepless night?
My mother was so shocked by my bastard's passionate words that she couldn't speak. She opened her mouth to speak, but her throat seemed to be closed and she couldn't make any small sound. At this time, the muscles of her face moved against me.
It seemed to be even more important. Her face experienced a brief spasm, and I suddenly felt a sense of fear: "Mom," I yelled in panic...
The gloomy air mixed with my nervousness, my mother's waist bent down, like a bow, an aging bow, and her batter-stained hands were put back into the white basin...
"What can I do to help you now? What can I do so that you don't feel guilty in your heart? I am a gifted speaker, right? Mom, and I am talking to my own mother... Haha, I am not good at expressing myself.
, you know this. I also know that you understand my feelings now. Mom, you understand everything I say, right?! Well, now there is no better way than me going out to work, don’t you think?
"
I am really a gifted speaker. I made my mother shed tears that she had just stopped. In my opinion, my mother's tears are very destructive to me and are the most powerful weapon to defeat me.
"No weapon can hurt you, except me and Yue'er, right?!"
"Really? Then I should be lucky that I have a smart daughter, right?" This sentence came out of the mother's tightly closed lips.
"Have I ever made you happy? Mom"
"Stupid question!"
"I am your burden, am I annoying you?!"
"boring question"
"Bored? Mom, let me ask you the last question now: "Am I the supporter of your life?"
"Funny question, if I transfer my soul to you and make you another substitute for me, wouldn't you feel tired?"
I did not continue to ask. In this world of active creatures, the vast universe arouses our desire to explore. At this time, my mother is my universe, and she stimulates my curiosity. I am fascinated by the magic of the creator.
She enables the proliferating human beings to release the energy of family affection in the instinct of love, which is the sustaining thing attached to the human soul. It is an eternal topic that has been sung by literati and poets throughout the ages. Love is due to family affection, and it is even more due to instinct!
"Did I ask a question I shouldn't have asked?"
"You asked questions you shouldn't ask and said things you shouldn't say." When she said this, I knew she was hiding herself. She seemed to use these words to vent her pent-up sorrow. I looked at my mother quietly.
, she is like an angry, sad goddess. The sound of collision between bones and iliac bones makes people restless, as if she is experiencing the suffocating cry of a tragic war...
My head hurt from being penetrated by the vicious penis during that period. I couldn't continue to treat my mother cruelly with my thoughts. I didn't like this feeling. It was the feeling I had when I was ten years old, and it came again.
Already...
The sunlight reflected on the mud wall stung my eyes. I shed tears, but I didn’t cry...
Yue'er is back. Yue'er is my younger brother, a boy two years younger than me. Yue'er, who is two and fifteen years younger than me, is God's favorite. His tall and strong body and rough and clear facial features are not like mine.
My father is not like my mother. He is smart, diligent, conceited and arrogant.
Mom obviously heard Yue'er's footsteps. The desolate look in her eyes was fading little by little, and the speed of her limbs was also slowly accelerating...
"What's wrong with you?" He is very sensitive. Yes, there is no way for people living in this family to be insensitive.
"Haha, it's okay." I replied.
"Where is mom cooking?" He glanced at his mother.
"Yeah." I replied.
"Did you get the book back?" he asked me as he walked.
"Um"
"How was the exam?"
"What do you mean?"
He glanced at me with his bright black eyes and walked to his room, so I followed him. He put down the books and backpack in his hands.
"Good or bad has nothing to do with me now!"
His peaceful eyes had turned into shock at this time.
"This is not what I want to hear." His young face faced me.
"I understand, but please don't look at me like this. I haven't changed, I'm still the same person. Let me enjoy all the unsupervised freedom!"
"Is this reality? Sister!" He shouted to me, and the dancing muscles on his face stretched out towards me like a monster with teeth and claws. I didn't feel afraid. On the contrary, I felt a trace of warmth. Haha, family affection!
I didn't want to say anything more and turned around to go back to my room. But the stubborn boy followed closely. I stopped in front of the dim window and he stood opposite me.
"Is this what you call 'generous'? Do you want me to feel guilty for you??" he shouted to me. After saying that, he squatted down beside my bed, making my bed tremble.
He made a squeaking sound of pain. His maturity made me uneasy and moved.
"Haha, I have the right to pursue freedom! Don't think that I have deviated from the normal track of light, or even deeper, that I have begun to fall. The truth is not as bad as you think. Maybe, when you are older, you will understand what I am now
The mood..."
"Really?" His sideways glance at me actually made me feel pain in my heart. Yue'er, who are you, so beautiful, that you make me feel so sad for you? Well, my father's son, my brother!
"The current result is not surprising, it is also inevitable in my life. We are on the same level, it is just tempting to let me go ashore in advance. Don't wake up my sweet dream and make yourself suffer. This is normal, isn't it?
"
I couldn't bear to look at his blurred and mesmerized eyes. "Poor and suffering people cannot escape the tricks of reality, but I am willing. You should understand that you are my mother's hard work and dominate the rise and fall of my family..."
"How do you think I should express your noble feelings? My dear sister?" He took a breath and shed tears. "If I tell you now that I am about to stop breathing, it is entirely your fault.
The result. Your so-called humility to me makes me feel sad. She is like a bug.
Bite my heart and make me feel sorry for you. The look in your eyes gave me a deeper understanding of the greatest family relationship in the world and the true meaning of 'blood is thicker than water'. But, sister
, my heart aches..." He rushed out of my room. Then, I saw those shining eyes.
I closed my eyes, and my body almost collapsed. I groped back to the bed, my limbs gradually feeling weak, and I didn't want to do anything with the last remaining strength. Yue'er's emotional pain was exposed.
It comforted me, but the guilt shown by him and his mother broke my heart. I became the savior, but am I?...
When the night is quiet, the suffocating breath, cold words, and deliberate silence follow the lingering night into the next century at midnight...
The days passed in a dull way, and my mother was silently paying attention to my future trends. At that time, I could see my mother's helplessness, and I was sure that my mother's mentality had begun to grow old and windy.
He brushed her temples mercilessly, making them extremely sparkling...
In the years to come, I felt that my mother at that time was older than my mother at that time...
"You don't owe me anything, Mom."
"But, Han, I can always see your eyes when I close my eyes, and those eyes always make me heartache..."
"Everything is illusion, isn't it? Mom!"
"I can no longer control myself and stop my brain from thinking. I can't turn a deaf ear to the current situation in front of me, let alone turn a blind eye. I am more afraid than an ant on a hot pot. Moreover, I am your mother, I
I have an unshirkable responsibility for you. I don’t want you to encounter difficulties when you first enter the society, and I don’t want you to have to start from scratch after several years of hard work. No matter what kind of career you want to pursue, this
I can't tolerate any of this."
"Why do you always think about others your whole life? Is this what maternal love is?"
"I often tell myself that I want to give you and Yue'er happiness, but in fact I haven't been able to do it. Mom is tired, but she will persist..."
“How nice would it be not to feel guilty?!”
"I hope I can do it, but in fact I can't! Child, mother..." My mother cried again. I hated those tears, but I was moved.
"I know you care about my feelings, but now that you have given me your full self, you are already showing me mercy."
"Do you know how much I want to influence your future?"
"Then should I tell you my thoughts before your final decision? I know, I am naive, but there is nothing wrong with my naivety! Mom, I also have dreams. I am tired of this kind of life, and I want to transcend reality.
One step. I dream of going to a prosperous city and becoming an ordinary child struggling for my dream. The perfection in my imagination is the goal I chase. I want to fly, fly freely. I don’t want restraint, I don’t want pressure, I just want to be free...
"
"Do you really want to be like your dad when you were young?"
"Why do I always feel heartache when talking about my father?" I asked myself. "Is there any better idea than this?"
"Han, Lu Yao, how difficult it is!!!"
"For me, nothing is a problem." I don't know what my mother is going to say next. I can only guess what she is thinking. Oh, it's not that I'm using my mind, I just don't want to live in the world that my mother knitted with my own hands.
In the garden with the strong and gloomy fragrance of flowers. What's more, my mother doesn't have that ability. If she did, how would it be different from sending me to the grave? No! Then the self-esteem caused by respect will be stimulated and expressed strongly.
When I came out, my heart was obviously turbulent, but I had to force myself to smile. It was really depressing! I wanted to live in a voluntary peace. However, once family affection occupied the position of "heart path", the illusion of joyful coping was interpreted by the owner.
If they do something outrageous based on this, they won't think it's too much. Everything is done because of love, and ruthlessness is more like affection. I don't want my mother to influence my thoughts or even my future. But I am afraid.
Those tears like a river...
"Oh, I'm incompetent!" My mother smiled bitterly.
"No, Mom, you should learn to let go. Times have changed, and concepts have also changed. The greatness of maternal love does not lie in whether the stones have been laid, marked, and prepared for the children in front of them... Be a supervisor,
Mom, 'Ideological Liberation' can relax you more than 'Ideological Rights Protection'."
"Han, how can you say that?" My mother looked surprised. This was something I had never seen before. A humorous light flashed in her eyes, which seemed to be caused by fright. Her body was leaning on the half-old wooden red sofa.
Looking at me in surprise...
"Oh, did I make you angry? Mom" I started to feel uneasy, or maybe I was scared.
"Yes, I was irritated. In my eyes, my coldness should be regarded as supreme and attached to my embrace like a sheep, instead of trying to push me away in every possible way, reject my embrace from a distance, and use coldness to
words to hurt me. Don't you think you are now cruel to the point of being intolerable? I am your mother, and I cannot tolerate any 'weird' thoughts that can make you divorced from reality. I don't want my daughter to shine in front of others.
Glory, that kind of glory with blood dripping from behind..."
I said that I was not good, so I confronted my mother: "According to your meaning, I should understand that I cannot show any 'confusion'. Does it stimulate your old thoughts? To make her change,
Do I have to wait a few years?" There is no sun outside, and the sky is so dark that I almost want to squeeze out some tears at a certain moment to lubricate the dryness of the air.
"I heard your complaints..." Her voice was hoarse.
"No" I defended, but I didn't dare to look into her eyes. My heart felt like it was electrocuted, numb and painful. I think I was too selfish. I ignored my mother's feelings and stayed completely in my own.
In the world, I am no longer sure whether the ideal dream has been realized, but the only thing I can be sure of is that the war between me and my mother has already begun in the era without gunpowder smoke. From then on, the knot in my heart was ruthlessly locked and reappeared.
Estrangement, when the dispute is fruitless at this moment, silence is the end...
Continue to think, continue to prepare for the war, to see who can win the final victory. In the subsequent verbal battles, countless sleepless and lonely nights were passed.
When I am bored, I often walk alone on the country roads, looking at the boundless wilderness, and the feeling of deja vu penetrates my heart again...
Occasionally I will find a piece of pure land in a deserted forest, sit down, raise my obsessed eyes, and look at the blue sky. That is my loneliness, and no one can reach the bottom of my heart. There are many things growing in the forest.
With patches of sycamores and poplars crisscrossing each other, groups of different sizes stood facing the sun. The late summer sunshine left dappled light spots through the cascading leaves, which were chaotic and disorderly. The gentle wind came and blew the trees.
The spots of light also stirred my thoughts...
When the body gradually ages, from toddler to return to nature, will the many obstacles in the world be brought to another peaceful and harmonious country? If people have spirituality and gears on their feet, then the soul will
Where does it go? I exile myself in the rich beauty of the world and read my soul. People who wander in reality have very few real moments of their own, but the ordinaryness of the body is the main body that the soul is attached to. Maybe in
Under any social conditions, people always seek something that is perfect, so their souls rest on wisdom and virtue, and they always remain rational.
My mother has to go to work most of the time, and she only has free time on Saturdays and Sundays. Naturally, my younger brother also goes to school. I can no longer ignore the coldness. I hate the days of loneliness and indifference, and the ordinary and ordinary life of doing nothing.
Vulgar. Too many years
The picture of Wei's life unfolded to me in a flat form, and I could not imagine that the lost "now" had become the past. History has become a memory, and my steps became the vicissitudes of the past. My hands were wrinkled, and the years invaded me.
In my youth, I was surrounded by ignorance...
My self in the mirror is already afraid of mediocrity...
It was rare that it was Sunday again. After breakfast, my mother searched through all the clothes that had not been washed for a week, and some of them actually formed the shape of a hill. She sat on a small bamboo stool and started. Put water in the basin and put it in.
Washing powder, rub clothes, this
The shortcut program is a program that I have been accustomed to since I was a child, but I have never experienced it. It is not that I am spoiled, but the best explanation is that my mother loves me. In the countryside, a girl grew up
When I was seventeen, I actually learned about washing clothes
The concept is so vague that it doesn’t make people believe it. It’s even a bit funny. I feel like I’m like a grain of dust in the sea. Anyone is so small that I can turn a blind eye. I’m completely unfamiliar with the instinctive skills, and I’m extra attached to them.
I was too shy to take action, and I didn’t understand the exquisite skills at all, which had no value in itself. It even seemed a bit redundant and could be thrown away with the scraps. My strong self-esteem was humiliated at that moment, forcing me to implement my plan in advance.
.I stood opposite my mother.
My mother glanced at me and said, "I can't understand your silent expression." After saying that, she continued to rub her clothes.
"Well, Mom" I was a little tongue-tied, but I still said it.
"My words will make you feel unhappy!"
"I don't like word games, and I don't like beating around the bush. I want to hear your short and wise words." My mother said this.
"What are short and wise words, Mom?" I was a little sad, and my voice was twice as loud: "Is it just the change of pot in your mouth, with a smile on your face?" I shouted
"You understand, you'll get paid!"
"Remuneration? What is the reward? Is it a so-called job that I endured hardships and succumbed to hard work at my young age in exchange for a so-called job?"
Walking out of the hustle and bustle, the surroundings have become pitch black, but I have been isolated from this nature for a long time, and I find that such a night scene is still beautiful and natural.
I slowly stood up from sitting on the ground.
"Where are you going?" he asked me. I almost couldn't remember the last time he spoke.
"Go drink water."
"Don't move, I'll go." He also stood up, patted the dust on his body, and then helped me sit down. I didn't expect that this kid could be kind sometimes.
"Why is it so good today?" I asked him.
"I've always been this good. You just didn't notice."
"Oh? Really?"
"Believe it or not!"
He just took a few steps and then came back. He put his right hand into his pocket as if to pick up something.
"This is for you, just in case," he said, handing the ring to me, "I told you to lend it to you!"
Cut! Give it to me and I don’t want it anymore. Who do you think you are?
A person was lying alone on the soft lawn, and a figure appeared not far away. Although the light was not enough to see the person's appearance clearly, judging from the figure, it should be a man. But I dare 10,000%
I was sure that that person was not Meng Tianze. He was getting closer and closer to me. I quickly stood up to see clearly who this person was.
As I got closer, I realized that I knew this person, or had seen him before. He was wearing a light blue cloak, a pair of black boots, and a white robe and trousers.
"How can you be here?" he asked me curiously, as if I couldn't be here.
"Isn't it possible?"
"Do you know how dangerous it is here?"
"I know, but it's more boring in the city."
"Are you from the Water Tribe?"
"I..." I hesitated because I didn't know and couldn't understand what he meant by "water tribe".
"It shouldn't be wrong." He glanced at me and immediately turned his gaze to the ground.
"Then why do you say that? Is it just a guess?" "Based on your physical condition."
"Physical condition?" I became even more puzzled, and there were more and more question marks in my mind.
"Yes, the crystal blue is lost, and the people in the water tribe here are just like you." His eyes were a little confused and lost, as if he had encountered some problem.
"Like me? Trouble breathing?"
"yes."
"But why?"
"Crystal Blue has been hiding in the water. I really don't understand how it could disappear for no reason."
"Then you are..."
"Oh, I almost forgot," he smiled, and then stretched out a hand, "I am Shui Yuetian, the clan leader here."
I shook his hand gently.
"Then, can Crystal Blue be recovered?"
"I don't know. If not, most of the people here will die."
"most?"
"Yes, our boundaries are not very clear. People from other races often come and go here, so they will not be affected by Crystal Blue."
"Then why did you..."
"Oh, that's because I have the moonstone."
"Moonstone?"
He took off the pendant hanging from his neck and showed it to me. It was a beautiful stone, curved and ice-cold. You could feel its refreshing feeling when you held it in your hand.
"This was left to me by my mother. I heard that it is in the shape of a crescent moon. It is a kind of spiritual creature between heaven, earth and the universe. It has experienced the baptism of wind, frost, rain and snow, and it is still so bright and clear."
"Crescent?" I don't know much about this shape.
"Well, the 'moon' is one of the celestial bodies in the universe. It is far away from us and I have never seen it."
"But have you seen your mother?"
"She just read it in some books."
"Oh, that's it..." I felt a little tired, so I sat down, and he followed suit. He turned his head and looked at me carefully, frowning, as if he was thinking about something.
"Have we...have we met somewhere?" His thinking finally came up with some results. This man's memory is really bad!
"Of course, at the gate of that manor!" I finally couldn't help it anymore and these words came out.
These words seemed to hit his memory nerve that was about to be broken, and the man suddenly became enlightened. Then he scratched his head and smiled stupidly.
"Let me tell you, why do you look so familiar? That's not a manor, that's my home."
"Your home? It's very beautiful!"
"Haha, patriarch, I have to eat, live and handle official business there."
"What kind of material is that house made of? It's so special."
"Oh, that one is the result of Crystal Blue. That one is called 'Crystal Castle'. But now that Crystal Blue is lost, the house doesn't look so bright." His eyes became much dim again. I really didn't know it was me.
If I can’t forgive him, it’s because he can’t forgive me.
If I am sorry for him, it should be because I mentioned so many things about Crystal Blue, which made him, a boy who should be happy and carefree, so depressed. If he is sorry for me, it should be him.
I was not optimistic about the crystal blue and lost it, which made me gasp for breath and have to be restricted by others.
"So how did your job as patriarch go smoothly?" I deliberately changed the topic. In fact, I felt ashamed for asking such an idiotic question, but before that kid came back, I couldn't think of anything to talk about.
Topic.
"It should be pretty good, but now the age of inheritance of the clan chiefs is decreasing. Some people say this is a precursor to progress, and some say it is a precursor to decline. I think what they say is unfounded. This matter is probably just
It can be decided by the actual situation, and no one can make the decision."
"Oh? Then wouldn't all the previous clan leaders be grandfathers and grandmothers in their 60s?" I couldn't help laughing, my face turned red, and he laughed too.
"I can't say yes, but it's almost the same. Let's just say five years ago. There has never been a time when I was seventeen and inherited the clan leader. The exception is my year."
"You succeeded as the patriarch of the clan when you were seventeen years old? How long have you been doing this?"
"Two and a half years!"
"Fifty wave period? So long?"
"This will be a long time. You will be the leader of the clan for most of your life."
"Ah? Wouldn't that mean we would lose a lot of free time?"
"No, it's just that I've seen a few more things."
"That's right. If I could live in such a beautiful house and do boring things all my life, it would be worth it."
"Otherwise, you can go there with me for two days. It smells like crystal blue, and you should feel better."
"Okay!" I was extremely excited, but immediately became unhappy, "No..."
"Why not?"
"I have to wait for my friend."
"Oh, that's it. Then I'll wait with you."
"It's not okay, you have so many things to do."
"The clan leader also needs to rest, just think of me as having a day off today."
Please...does this "beautiful person" like the patriarch have a double sun?
I leaned against a big tree behind me, as if I had an indissoluble bond with it... It seemed that if I couldn't find a boyfriend in this life, I would have to live the rest of my life leaning on the big tree... When I woke up
Come on, no one is around... Where did that boy Meng Tianze sneak off to play? Looking for water and still dragging his feet like this... It's really useless! Let's see how you find a girlfriend in the future~ Boy! Get ready to be a bachelor!
I feel worse and worse now. I feel dizzy and have a feeling of ecstasy. I looked at the timer and found that it was already over nine (it’s really rare that I can still recognize the numbers). This person is really awesome.
, according to his method, I would have finished playing it long ago.
I heard the sound of footsteps behind me, and when I looked back, I saw that the boy had found a broken bowl somewhere. He looked like a beggar. His clothes were dirty, and he didn't know how to take care of himself at such an old age.
, one word: stupid! Two words: too stupid!
"Hey, can you do something? You're so slow to do something like this. You want to kill me?" I didn't even raise my head. I probably waited until he got closer before shouting out this sentence.
Without saying a word, he wiped his sweat and gave me the water.
I just looked at him at this time, and my sweat kept flowing down, like broken beads. I couldn't bear to scold him anymore, so I thought, forget it. I've already scolded him anyway, and I brought some water. Forget it.
Alright.
He brought me the water and left. I asked him where he was going, but he didn't tell me and just walked straight away.
"Why are you so cruel to him?" It was Shui Yuetian, who appeared out of nowhere, holding some Robin fruits in his hand (the fruits of the Robin tree are very watery, milky white balls, as big as a fist,
It is a very delicious fruit, and it is also very precious. The growth conditions of the Robin tree are very high.) handed it to me, I put the bowl of water aside and started to nibble on it.
"He, it took so much effort to find water, but it was useless all night long."
"Your boyfriend?"
I almost spit out the Robingo in my mouth, but I finally swallowed it.
"Just him? He can be pulled down, he will pay for it with his life if he scares people to death!"
"Then why did you say that to him?"
"Did I make a mistake?"
"Of course I'm wrong. Do you know how many rivers there are missing since Crystal Blue was lost? More than sixty." He paused, "If you are familiar with the roads here, walk from here to the nearest one.
The river needs twenty-three fire hours, understand?"