According to legend, every transcender who breaks the boundaries of time and space will receive a gift from the world... Well, it is commonly known as a golden finger for time travellers.
The evil lich system...is my extremely cheating golden finger.
Once upon a time, it wasn't called this name. He had a good name like the Radiant Knight King Development System, but unfortunately, he changed to this name just after I gave up my identity as a Paladin and started learning black magic.
In the past, the daily tasks he gave were helping old ladies on the street, helping little girls find lost kittens, and other tasks that were helpful to others, but they were not as deceptive as they are now.
"Look at today's daily life... It's another cheating choice. Destroy any town with more than 30,000 people, and you will be rewarded with 10,000 evil points. Grab three children's lollipops, and you will be rewarded with 1 point. If both of them are
If it is not completed, then 2 points will be deducted.”
"Bah! You think I'm stupid. I've really destroyed a town. I'm sure to spawn an epic medieval paladin group with all its members to crusade against me. I'll make some money but not spend any money."
I casually took the lolita from the little tauren loli who was passing by. I watched the little girl crying and being pulled away by her mother. As soon as I put it in my mouth, I heard the crunching sound of the lolita hitting the bones, and then I thought of myself.
There is no sense of taste anymore.
"Hey, when can I enjoy the taste of delicious food again? Although the magic power is sufficient, it is really not delicious."
Even though the girl's mother dragged the naughty child away, the little girl seemed unwilling to give up. Her big watery eyes stared at me, as if she realized that I couldn't eat food and was expecting something.
Do you think the passing lich uncle is just playing a prank? He will return the lollipop to you immediately.
Well, in order to live up to the other party's expectations, I chewed up the candy and spit it out piece by piece on the ground.
"Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooww... yeah, mom, that weird uncle, robbed my candy."
"Don't look, let's go quickly."
So, not surprisingly, I heard a sweet cry. At that time, I felt much better, because I thought of a certain lawless child.
"Do the undead have no human rights? Ancient magic scrolls were used as drawing paper for graffiti, dragon blood ink was used as paint, the alchemy potions that were painstakingly made were used as soda, and even my ribs were secretly removed to play puzzles. I
After only two hours of sleep, the laboratory was turned into ruins. The destructive power of the naughty child was terrible..."
"Hey, when can we take revenge?" Thinking of those lawless naughty children, especially a certain older naughty child who was wild and untrained, I felt itching with hatred.
Suddenly, but unexpectedly, I heard a system prompt.
"Ding, congratulations to the host for accumulating the 100th little loli/shota who made her cry. She will be rewarded with 10 evil points. - A legal loli who looks like she is six years old but is actually in her twenties? It is not included in the statistics. The expired fake loli is
evil ways!"
I couldn't help but feel happy when I saw the sudden achievement. The lowest reward in the achievement system was ten points, which was worth ten days of my daily tasks.
"As usual, if you get an achievement by making 100 people cry, you will get it by making 1,000 people cry, and the reward will be doubled at least..."
So, I looked at the little girl on the street, Little Shota, with bright eyes...
"Humph, even if there is no daily routine, it is also the duty of good people like us to let the naughty children know some rules and prevent everyone from the same bad luck."
"What's the best way to play? By the way, activated creation, disgusting monsters that let naughty children's toys run around, magic paint, turning Xiong Haizi's lollipops into vicious shit yellow!"
As a victim of the scourge of naughty children, when I think about avenging my destroyed magic scrolls and precious books, bad ideas come to mind one after another.
"No, no, that's not good enough. Let's turn the pillowcase into a man-eating monster, so that naughty children will be scared when they see the pillow. By the way, there are also black tentacles of Ava, so you can also enjoy the tickling hell."
"By the way, aren't naughty kids afraid of ghosts? Haha, it's time to rebuild the undead army. Wake up, my undead natural disaster!!"
That day, I finally learned that there were less than 200 naughty kids in our neighborhood...
Parading thousands of skeletons, abominations, and zombies with me is really a waste...
That day, before the urban management team received the report and arrived at the scene, before I was pinned down and arrested by a dark elf team, I had already walked all over the block and cried a hundred and sixty times...
And when they learned that I summoned the undead army to take revenge on the naughty children, the expressions of laughter and contempt on the faces of the urban management officials also became my new dark history.
"Congratulations to the host who was despised by hundreds of women at once. He obtained the special achievement 'Is this kid's head filled with water or paste?' and was awarded the honorary title 'Retarded Child'. After equipping it, there is a certain chance of gaining the sympathy of women, but women are not interested in the equipment."
The person’s favorability with the opposite sex is reduced by 100.”
... Anyway, I'm used to being tricked by the system, and my reputation has reached its lowest limit. As evidenced by my negative 88 charm recognized by the system, it won't be a big deal even if my popularity with the opposite sex drops by another 100 points... Anyway, the result is the same.
, they all can’t find a girlfriend.
Why is it obviously a rational analysis, but when I say this, I feel like my eyes are full of blood and tears... Well, I am just a great magician who has been single for three hundred years, but at this moment, at least
, I completed my revenge on my old enemy, the naughty kid!
Recalling those crying naughty children, I smiled proudly. I had already thought about what to write in today's diary.
AD 1896, the Summer of Dragons, March 6th is destined to be forever engraved in the memories of the naughty children in Sulfur City. It is known in history as the "Lollipop Hunter Incident" and "The Pillow Monster Cannibal Incident".
"On that day, the children recalled the horror of being dominated by that guy...the humiliation of having their beloved things taken away wantonly, the despair of being swallowed by their own toys, and the fear of being surrounded by the undead..."
When I was thinking about Lenovo Pianpian, the system prompt sound came again.
"Ding! The achievement of making one hundred children cry in one day has been achieved! 10 evil points will be awarded. Congratulations to the host for obtaining the honorary title 'Child Buster'. After equipped, it will have a natural sense of threat to Lolita/shota under the age of twelve.
Warm reminder, if you make 500 naughty children cry at one time, you will be rewarded with the honorary title of 'Children Killer' if you make 1,000 naughty children cry at one time...
The system prompts paused for a moment, and I couldn't help but look forward to it. Although it was a spoof title, it would be an unexpected surprise if it could keep the naughty child away from me.
"...Crying a thousand times at once, and being rewarded with the honorary title 'How can you be more boring when you are so old and still care about like a child?' Oh. Host, thank me, actually this is
The title that suits you best right now."
"Fuck, this is really unbearable. Damn the system. Isn't this all your fault? I'll fight with you!!"
－－－－－－－－－－－－
"Master, this time I went to jail for grabbing a lollipop...Next time, will I go to jail for stealing a girl's underwear? By then, I really don't want to pick up the pervert."
The one who spoke was my most loyal bitch, the half-demon head maid of my mansion, the silver-haired Eliza.
Black gold glasses frames, silver twin ponytails, small tiger teeth, a small tail with a purple bow, and a baroque-style maid uniform fully demonstrate the playful character of the little devil, and also expose the lich's bad taste...
I have always been satisfied with Eliza's appearance. It would be better if she could change her cold-faced and venomous character.
"It's not like you don't know my cheating system. You just give points to a few little girls for making them cry. This is what a good person should do."
"Give!"
She handed me a thick photo album.
"This is... Oh, well done, Eliza! You are indeed my most loyal bitch!"
"I can probably guess what happened. This is the contact manual for the largest kindergarten in Sulfur Mountain City. It has a list I carefully selected, which should be able to facilitate the owner to complete the task."
"Well done! I thought you expected me to die early and give you your freedom, but I misunderstood. That's great, you are a good person too."
"Let me take a look!" He opened the contact list, but his face became increasingly ugly.
"The contact information of the three children of Archbishop Holy Light of Brimstone City, Dragon Hunter Amuro's little daughter who has just entered kindergarten, and the precious son of Brother Xin, the God of War... Are you sure you are helping me and not sending me back to Hades?
!”
My glare was ignored by the other party as always. The half-demon girl pushed up the frame of her glasses, and cold light flashed on the lenses.
"The reputation of the lollipop hunter has spread throughout Sulfur City, and I will be criticized even when I leave the mansion. For the sake of my reputation as a lady, I do want to change my job. Or, Master, you should also pay me the arrears.
Ten years of salary."
"Ha, ha. Asking for money hurts your feelings. Come on, I can't wait to get back to our warm home."
"Escape is not what a gentleman should do. Also, please don't change the subject... Why did you drag me away and what did you do?"
"As expected of little Eliza who has been with me for so long, today's daily task is a gorgeous explosion, you know..."
"I understand, please hold on tight, I will transfer the magic and run away!"
The silver random door was opened, and the master and servant quickly entered. After the magic of short-range teleportation dissipated, there was no one here, but in the background, there was a huge explosion and the subsequent fire alarm.
Voice.
"Delayed flame explosion bomb? Aren't the prisoners arrested by the urban management will be sealed as demons?"
"No, it just looks like it. The flour is mixed with chili powder and a little bit of dust, and it becomes a dust bomb. It is not very powerful and cannot kill anyone, but there is absolutely no evidence."
"You are truly a 'smart' lich. The prisoner is wearing a magic sealing ring and is unable to extricate himself. You actually made a handmade bomb using materials from the canteen."
"Thank you, I'll be embarrassed if you praise me so much."
"No one praises you...well, at least as a lich, this should be a compliment."
What is a lich?
"Not a good person, but the most terrifying monster." This is probably the first feeling of all living creatures in Verla when they hear this term.
"The sight of those bones makes me hairy, and those eyes like will-o'-the-wisps are so scary. I always feel like I'm doing something bad." This is the view of ordinary people.
"The ultimate existence of evil, conspirators and villains!" This is the view of the Church Paladin.
As the undead, the final destination of the dark mages, the lichs who are reduced to skeletons often have a bad reputation, but...
"Slanders are all prejudice! How can you judge individuals because of their race! I have always believed that discrimination and prejudice such as race, color, and origin are signs of human stupidity. There are only low-level discrimination and prejudice in the world, and there is no low-level race or skin color.
, origin. I am really a good person."
"If you are considered a good person like this, then those bloodthirsty undead in the east of the city are considered saints?"
"I can't say that I am a saint. We are all pacifists who are cold-faced and warm-hearted. You see, the undead save more food and do not take up space. A family can live in one cemetery. They do not eat or drink and work enthusiastically. They only give and do not ask for anything. Everyone
They are all good people."
The half-demon maid was amused. It is said that as long as the life enters in one piece, it will come out in pieces. It is actually a gathering place for good people in the eyes of its master.
"Haha, Master, you really know how to joke. Are the bloodthirsty undead good people? Then who are those church priests in the church district who are highly praised by the citizens? They will provide free treatment to the citizens. They will also give out free Holy Communion every Sunday.
Relieve the poor.”
"A bunch of hypocrites and pedophiles, Eliza, you see, people all have desires and needs. If they are overly suppressed, they will suppress them to death. They speak of one desire after another. Desire is the original sin. I am sure in private.
They are all perverts. Look at the old men who are so kind to the young lady. It’s no wonder that they have no problem. And those single-celled paladins who are all the same are a group of barbarians who will yell and kill me when they see me!
"
"Okay, I almost know that the master is sick again. The ancient red dragon in the Sulfur Mountains is known as Beron's Disaster and once destroyed an empire on his own. In the eyes of the master, he is probably just a docile little cutie."
"No, no, Xiaohong hasn't paid much attention to her diet recently, and she's a little too fat. If she loses another 20 to 30 tons, loses her belly, and slims down her curves, she will be even cuter."
"Our famous Sulfur City Dark Elf Urban Management Brigade, which maintains law and order and is good at helping others? You should be familiar with them. I have gone to pick you up five times in the past two months."
"...You can ask the unlucky vendors who were suppressed by them. My opinion is basically the same as theirs. Bah, a bunch of crazy bitches. We, the Gentlemen's Liberal Alliance, are natural enemies of them."
Shaking her head helplessly, deliberately ignoring the suspicious organization in her master's mouth, Eliza continued to ask.
"... Our famous heroic city lord who once saved the world? He held up the banner of equality of all races and just built a sulfur mountain city where all races were mixed in the chaotic underground city world, causing constant fighting.
There is a pure land in the underground world."
"A patient with severe chuunibyou who has been in chuuni for hundreds of years. How old are you? He still plays the old drama about a brave man defeating the devil and saving the world. He deserves to be single for the rest of his life."
"...You really dare to say that, you have interfered with both of his weddings, and now they say he is destined to be a lonely star. He was born to defeat his parents, he came out to mess with his brothers, and he got married to defeat his wife. It is obvious that his conditions are so good, and his appearance
He is so handsome that no girl in Sulfur City dares to accept his proposal."
"...I didn't mean it. As for holding grudges for so long..."
"It's not intentional? It's intentional. Let's not mention that you asked me to spread the rumor about Tiansha Lonely Star. Playing Scourge of the Undead and Hundred Ghosts at Night at other people's weddings. You know how many girls were frightened and cried at that time."
"Aren't I here to support his wedding? Seeing that the old bachelor finally got married, everyone was so happy that they performed a mechanical dance of hundreds of ghosts. Who knew that the young bride was so frightened that she peed on the spot?
"
Although I didn't say it on purpose, I was secretly very proud of myself. "Humph, we haven't even been resurrected yet and have a physical body, so how can we let you enjoy a sexual life comfortably?"
"Master, every time you are proud, you cross your hands and stamp your feet. Now your malice is spilling out. Okay, let's not mention your 'great achievements'. Your fellow lichs in the City of the Undead, Xiluo? Those guys are here
The wanted warrants in various countries are calculated on a daily basis. If one goes out, the world will be in chaos."
"...Actually, everyone has a bit of a misunderstanding about us. The cycle of life and death is one. We study the mysteries of life, isn't it just so that people in the world can live better? We are actually very good at treatment. In terms of efficacy and sequelae, we are better than the pastor.
The Holy Light is much better. Their Holy Light seems convenient, but it is actually an overdraft of life span. Our life transformation technology is non-toxic, harmless and pollution-free, and can fundamentally solve the problem at once."
"...Then why do you still expect the system to resurrect you? Why don't you just make a body and be done with it?"
"I don't want to become a deformed monster with three arms and six legs. Even if it is a intact human form, there will be problems sooner or later..."
Seeing that the Lich himself didn't trust his life-changing technology, what else could Eliza say.
"Okay, okay, I am nothing in your eyes."
"...The cold-faced and venomous ghost mother-in-law? The flat-chested girl A?" Of course I wouldn't say it stupidly.
"Oh, Eliza, of course you are my most trusted subordinate? We once set up the great ideal of conquering the stars and the sea together."
"Before you realize your dream of a star, do you first remember to pay off the poor little orphan girl's salary arrears for more than ten years?"
Knowing that his master was sick again, the silver-haired half-demon pushed his eyes, a cold light flashed in his eyes, and cold words were squeezed out from his teeth one by one.
"If you are still so immoral, your collection is not intended to..."
"Okay, Eliza, I apologize." Thinking of his babies, a certain lich immediately gave in.
"Humph." The fallen angel who successfully defeated the enemy hummed a tune and walked out the door.
As the housekeeper of this apartment, she has no time to waste with her middle-aged master.
But judging from the other party's tail that was always hanging down, it seemed that he was not in a good mood.
It wasn't until she walked out of the door that after a while, I remembered some past memories, so I whispered to myself.
"...Probably, barely, maybe we can be considered family. I still remember that little girl who was still unwilling to die in the ruins of the Styx in a desperate situation, and hunted for survival alone in the desperate snowy night. Picking you up is considered as this.
The greatest luck in the world, the only thing I have done right in this life."
Suddenly, a pretty face poked out from behind the door.
The cheeks that used to be cold turned red and hot, and the red glow extended to the long ears that were trembling slightly.
Then, with an instigating sound, she disappeared behind the door again.
"Haha, you understand me, but I don't understand you? Stupid evil mother-in-law, even if you are extremely cunning, you still owe me a debt of favor and work hard for me until you die."
I shouted harsh words loudly, laughed wildly with pride, but felt a little panicked.
