Met You in the Most Beautiful Years【101】Emotional Apocalypse of an Old Man
June 25, 2006
When I came back from a run in the morning, I found that the little girl had caught a cold. She was lying motionless in the cat's bed, her nose was wet, and she looked listless.
I drove to the veterinary hospital to buy medicine. The little girl fell asleep after eating.
The doctor said that he would recover within a week at the latest.
…
June 30, 2006
When I went home in the evening, I found that the little girl had become very lively. She must have recovered from her illness.
…
July 1, 2006
I left my cell phone behind in the army. When I went back to pick it up, I received a missed call from a number in City B. When I called back, I found out it was a fraudulent call.
July 3, 2006
Political Commissar Zhang's grandson planned to apply for B University and came to the house to ask for advice.
University B is in city B, the capital city of the neighboring province, which is pretty good.
…
July 10, 2006
The application for entry into Tibet that I made a few days ago was rejected this afternoon. Lao Xu vaguely revealed that the superiors did not agree.
The one above should be referring to my father.
July 11, 2006
My father came home today and talked to me after dinner, ranging from the issue of entering Tibet to my marital status.
Maybe he also noticed the difference between Han Jingqiu and me.
Han Jingqiu still refuses to sign.
Three years in Tibet was the best choice, both for me and for her. More than a thousand days were enough for her to figure it out and let go.
…
July 14, 2006
The application for entry into Tibet that I called for the second time has been submitted and was not intercepted at the division headquarters this time.
I just found that several of the buttons on the military lining lying on the sofa were bitten off by the cat.
Naughty little girl.
…
July 18, 2006
Today I moved to the army dormitory and took the little girl with me. When I was packing my things, I found that the little girl had more luggage than me.
…
July 23, 2006
I couldn't sleep, so I took out the book "Lolita" and read part of it. There were a lot of typos, but fortunately it didn't affect my reading.
July 24, 2006
When I came back from going out, I met a little girl at the gate who came to visit her boyfriend in the group.
The girl was about 20 years old and very young. I sent her to find someone along the way and found out that she was a sophomore and her boyfriend was her instructor during military training in college.
After dinner in the evening, I went back to the office to get cigarettes and saw the old Yunnan card in the drawer.
Thinking that I still had a few good friends' numbers that I hadn't saved, I put the card back into my phone. After turning it on, there was no message prompt.
I checked the phone bill and found that there was still more than 137 yuan.
July 25, 2006
A group of new recruits came today. One of them is named Ye Heqin. He has a girlish name. He is tall and thick-set and has small eyes.
July 26, 2006
Busy training.
July 27, 2006
Keep busy training.
…
August 10, 2006
I took my little girl to get a vaccine today. She saw the needle shaking violently and turned to look at me, asking for help but also confused.
But for the sake of health, don’t spoil it too much.
…
August 16, 2006
I just glanced at the page numbers of "Lolita" and saw that there were 147 pages left. I was actually surprised how I could finish reading such a boring book.
It’s understandable that this book was banned for so many years.
A forty-year-old man is madly infatuated with his 12-year-old stepdaughter Lolita. The whole story is almost a morbid psychological description of the male protagonist. The anxiety and pain of not being able to love is probably difficult for normal people to accept.
emotion.
…
August 22, 2006
I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older, but I’ve been having auditory hallucinations lately. Every time I look back, I find that the person calling me is not me, which is quite embarrassing.
The little girl has gained a lot of weight recently, but she just hasn't grown very tall.
…
August 25, 2006
Han Jingqiu called and hoped to let me go back to the apartment to stay for a few days, because the Han family had relatives coming over and wanted to keep their dignity in front of their family members.
The relatives of the Han family did not know about her divorce from me.
As for divorce, she said she was already considering it.
…
August 28, 2006
In the afternoon, I received a text message from Han Jingqiu. She said that relatives of the Han family were already in the hospital for treatment. Unexpectedly, the "relative of the Han family" that Han Jingqiu mentioned was the child of the Ye family.
I took the time to go to the hospital.
The little girl was sitting there with her head down playing with her mobile phone, her expression very focused, as if she didn't notice me walking over.
I went to get the examination form for the little girl. Although I didn't understand medicine, I could see from the form that there shouldn't be any big problem.
After leaving the hospital, I went directly back to the army.
I still can’t describe my feelings at that time. Maybe I was worried that Han Jingqiu could take care of people. After the evening training, I went to Han Jingqiu’s apartment in the city center. I didn’t see the child, but I learned from Han Jingqiu that after all the hard work,
I wanted to take the child to live at home, but I just wanted to use her to ease the conflicts between the couple.
He was angry like never before. It was the first time he took the initiative to quarrel with Han Jingqiu.
Looking back now, it's a bit baffling. Maybe it was because of her behavior. I didn't expect that one day, this marriage would need to be maintained by these means.
August 29, 2006
I went to the Political Department in the morning and when I came back, I met Han Jingqiu. She was arguing with a man by the flower bed.
It looks familiar, and I recognize it as the original one.
The first reaction at that time was not that they were not involved yet, but that the child, Han Jingqiu, was outside, so she should be at home alone.
I don’t understand how I could recite the child’s number so easily, just like I don’t understand why I took her away by force on the roadside, regardless of her wishes. I had a complicated mood at that moment, and even now I can’t analyze it one by one.
.
When I think back to questioning her in the car, I can't help but feel childish and unreasonable.
In fact, who am I to ask about her affairs, especially when I heard her say that she didn't want to choose what others didn't want, and she couldn't control her emotions like that.
Now she finally realizes how wrong and stupid her behavior of liking a married man was. It's a good thing to have such an epiphany, isn't it?
It is undeniable that when I heard the boy's voice on the phone, I was stunned and felt a little uncomfortable in my heart.
Maybe this is human nature.
When you learn one day that the person who has been chasing you suddenly lets go, it is inevitable that you will feel uncomfortable, even as an older adult.
August 30, 2006
I don't understand more and more what I am thinking in my heart.
After taking a shower, I looked at the man in the mirror and suddenly felt a little unfamiliar.
With a sense of luck, she called the apartment and learned that Han Jingqiu was not at home. She temporarily canceled the meal in the regiment and said she wanted to go home for lunch. Afraid that she would become suspicious, she called three or five comrades specifically, but told them to wait a little later.
Go over again.
Someone in the elevator said that I was her boyfriend, but suddenly he didn't want to give her a chance to explain, and even acquiesced to the misunderstanding of his comrades.
I like to see her embarrassed look, I think it's very cute, with her eyes wide open, she looks like a 'little girl' with her head tilted up to eat.
Seeing her and Yao Lie acting intimately, I couldn't help but want to interrupt them.
Seeing her secretly answering the phone, he was eager to know who was on the other side of the phone. Before she could answer, he had already started to guess whether it was her little sweetheart or the boy named "Xiao Yi" from yesterday?
He obviously heard the door opening, but he held her hand and refused to let go.
There was an unknown fire squeezing in her chest with nowhere to vent, and she saw panic and pleading in her eyes. The girl in front of her was no longer the girl who had seduced the man she called 'little uncle', but more like a girl.
The frightened little white mouse finally let her go before people came in.
All that was left between him and Han Jingqiu was a quarrel.
Seeing "Lolita" beside the table, I suddenly found the shadow of Humbert in myself, and worried that one day I would become a woman like him.
August 31, 2006
I have been in the army today, but I think about that child from time to time.
There is no way to stop such dirty thoughts.
She is mature and sophisticated, she is smooth and cunning, she is innocent and straightforward, and she is charming and charming, all lingering in my mind.
This kind of self cannot be controlled, and it becomes more and more unfamiliar, and I don't know where the problem lies.
All changes seem to be just between *.
September 1, 2006
I chose to go to the apartment today intentionally or unintentionally.
She was the one who used to haunt me, but now her role seems to have changed.
I sent her to the hospital, forgetting her treacherous nature, and just left for a while, but she had already disappeared without a trace.
Seeing her being touched and touched, I couldn't control the emotions surging in my body. I never thought that I would fight for a woman at this age, and finally I couldn't control myself and asked, do you not want to be with me?
He tried every means to get close to her, wanting to see the shyness that occasionally showed in her eyes, and couldn't help but show off his shooting in front of her, and firmly held her soft little hand when crossing the road.
Although he is no longer a young boy, he still does impulsive things.
Never thought there would be such a day.
September 2, 2006
I called her last night and her phone was turned off. The reason she gave was that she forgot to charge it.
If it's the truth, why are your eyes wandering?
She said that she and her little bamboo horse slept in the hotel last night.
If her aunt and uncle hadn't come to Fengcheng, wouldn't she have planned to go back to the apartment all day today?
I want to question her, but I don’t know how to speak. I remember what she said in the car that day. She is an adult, has graduated from high school, and has the freedom to fall in love. She is now an obedient and sensible junior. I can’t see
It's just me who can't figure it out.
Never before had I suddenly wanted to end the marriage in name only with Han Jingqiu as soon as possible.
Lao Xu said that the superiors had approved my application to enter Tibet and the transfer order would be issued soon.
It was not as relaxing as I imagined, but instead felt solemn.
Changes in feelings can never be matched by time.
After all, contrary to my father's expectations, I am not a qualified soldier. For my own selfish desires, I have begun to regret the decisions I have made.
There has never been a moment where I suddenly wanted to end the marriage in name only with Han Jingqiu as soon as possible.
September 3, 2006
This was not the first time I called the little girl, but the moment I heard her voice, I was still a little nervous.
unimaginable.
I made an appointment to meet her at the hotel that night. I don’t know why I said that. I just followed my truest thoughts at the time.
I want to see her, but it seems that I have been missing her for just one day, including being nervous when making phone calls. This is not the emotion a twenty-nine-year-old man should have.
This is the first time I went to Baidu specifically for a birthday gift that girls like, because I want to make up for some regrets in the past.
When I was with Han Jingqiu, I was too let nature take its course and lacked the process of falling in love.
I don’t know how to please a girl, especially a girl who is almost a year younger than me.
September 4, 2006
My father just escaped from danger.
He and his mother already knew the crux of the problems in my marriage with Han Jingqiu.
Han Jingqiu confessed everything to her family, which was not within my expectation. Until this moment, she is still unwilling to divorce.
I never thought that Jiang Hui would be involved again, and I was not willing to let the little girl get involved in the divorce, but Jiang Hui saw through her mind.
September 5, 2006
I can't get through the little girl's cell phone since the night before.
I called Han's house and found out around the corner that she had returned to city B.
Are you angry because I missed the appointment that night?
September 6, 2006
The little girl's cell phone is always turned off.
My father's condition has stabilized.
September 7, 2006
I arrived in City B in the afternoon and made an excuse to go to Zhang Ji's house. When I passed by Ye's house, I didn't see the little girl in the yard.
September 8, 2006
The troops had some temporary trouble and returned to Fengcheng.
Yesterday I learned from Zhang Ji that University B will officially start school on September 10th.
The little girl still hasn't turned on the phone.
…
September 10, 2006
I waited for her downstairs in the dormitory, but she was accompanied by a boy.
The picture is a bit harsh.
The words she said before leaving are still fresh in my ears.
She didn't understand why she was so entangled with a man who was almost thirty years old, just like I didn't know when I started letting her come into my heart. It seemed to be caught off guard, and it seemed to be accumulating over time.
Suddenly I understood Humbert's state of mind. When Lolita left him without hesitation, was she as sleepless as me?
The little girl's sobriety further brought out the dirty thoughts of my unknown thoughts.
She was right, this was an unethical relationship and should not have started.
——————The author has something to say——————
This is the emotional revelation of the old man. Because it spans a year, many things are difficult to write. You can imagine the suspense left behind. I can only help you get here. The old man originally did not plan to go to Xizang because of He Huan.
Yes, but I went again later. As for why I didn’t stay for three years, it’s not a secret~
【Offsite interview】
Microphone King: "Second brother, can you explain to me that when you wrote such an explicit diary later on, weren't you afraid that the little girl would read it and think you were a weirdo?"
Second brother: "!"
Speaker: "Also, why didn't you mention that you deliberately drove a long way around?"
Second brother: "!!"
Microphone King: "Last question, second brother, will you write down the process and psychology of eating a little girl for the first time in your diary?"
