The process was very long and complicated, and I couldn't even remember exactly when I fell in love.
Maybe she persisted and even risked her life to find an antidote for me, but she almost ruined something big.
Maybe it was one night when she was deliberately thinking of a clever way for me to deal with the enemy, but for me, that method undoubtedly dug its own grave.
Maybe it was the time when she cried sadly, but afterwards she told me mysteriously that Batuzi was a spy and asked me to be careful.
Maybe it was when we met again after a while and he slapped me in the face without any explanation.
Too many ‘maybes’.
Of course, I never told her any of this - for fear of making her proud.
Pang Xiu said that in this world, even the happiest couple will have the idea of giving up at least sixty times and killing each other fifty times in their lives.
I didn't think there was anything special about this sentence before. It wasn't until she left the palace with me on her back and ran to Peacock Valley alone that I realized the true meaning of this sentence.
When she disobeyed me, betrayed me, and made me angry again and again, the sixty times of giving up and the fifty times of strangling him had already been exhausted.
She said I was cold-blooded, cruel, violent, murderous... just like a tyrant, and even gave me a nickname, Shameless.
Compared to tyrant, I still prefer the words stinky and shameless.
Every time she spoke, I could see her compromise and helplessness.
In this love between the emperor and the princess, we are all victims and beneficiaries at the same time.
She tried her best to get close to me and follow me, but she was always hurt by the things around me. She didn't understand that in the struggle for power, she couldn't have too many emotions, and she couldn't just focus on loyalty instead of interests.
She doesn't understand.
This is also my fault, because I never thought about letting her understand this from the beginning to the end. My initial idea was to use my own wings to hold up a blue sky for her. In that place, there would be no intrigues, no bloody violence, and no conspiracy.
She can live a simple and happy life, while I... continue to fight against the cruelty and harm from the outside world with an indestructible iron armor.
But things went counterproductive, my arrangement was not what she wanted.
I know what she is thinking. She wants to stand side by side with me, support me and help me when I am in difficulty and pain, and protect me with those arms that are not even fake.
Are you really a fool, do you think it is easy to walk side by side with me? The road is full of thorns, and if you are not careful, you will be stabbed all over your body.
But these words were buried in my heart due to my pride and I never told her.
This is the sadness of love. Two people clearly love each other, but they are always separated by the cruel reality. You don’t know how much she needs you, and she doesn’t know that you feel sorry for her. Both of them are thinking hard in their own worlds.
It doesn't matter what went wrong or whether it is already in the other party's mind.
Such random thoughts drove me completely crazy. No one can understand the feeling of cultivating a seed with all my heart, only to see it wither, dry up, and wither, and I am powerless.
It's like she never understood how I felt when I sat alone in the study room, facing the loneliness of the room, that night when she decided to leave.
I am the king, and my joy, anger, sorrow, and joy no longer belong to me. There is always only one expression on my face, and that is majesty.
