I was a little confused by what Sun Xiaoxiao said, so I was stunned for a while before I looked up at her.
She said to me again: "My place is spacious, so instead of living outside, just stay at my place."
"What are you talking about? This is inappropriate."
"What's wrong? I have four bedrooms, aren't they enough for you?"
"That's not what I meant. It's not convenient for me to live with you."
"I don't think anything about it, so don't be nagging. I have it ready here, so you don't need to spend that wasted money."
"I don't have to choose, just find a cheap place to live."
Sun Xiaojie glanced at me and said with a smile: "Are you afraid that if you live with me, you won't be able to hold on to your undue thoughts about me?"
"You're overthinking it. I don't have any feelings for you at all."
"Shit! Men are always duplicitous."
"Really, I have no desire for that at all now."
I really didn't lie to her. After An Lan passed away, I began to hate the love between men and women. I almost didn't feel that I had any need in that regard.
No matter how beautiful a woman I meet, even if she is standing in front of me without any clothes on, I really won't give her a second glance.
Of course I know that these are one of the typical symptoms of depression, and I really want to change them, but it is really difficult.
Sun Xiaoxiao didn't talk to me about this topic anymore. She probably didn't believe it, and it didn't matter anymore.
After returning to her place, I prepared to pack my suitcase and leave.
But she stopped at the door and said to me: "Don't leave, I need you very much."
I looked at her expressionlessly and said, "What do you need from me?"
"You can cook for me, clean the house and so on."
"Do you think of me as your nanny?"
"Anyway, don't leave. Even if you find it inconvenient, I will never stop you from moving out when you find a new place to live."
"I've found it. I'm staying in a hotel. I've already booked a room."
"Cancelled, not staying in the hotel."
"Why?"
"I'm your boss now."
I sneered and said, "I haven't joined the job yet."
"Why are you like this! Do you want me to explain it clearly?"
I suddenly had a bad premonition, frowned and asked her: "You're not going to say that you're in love with me, are you? Don't! I'm not interested in women now."
Sun Xiaojie immediately rolled his eyes at me and said, "You're overthinking, I'm just..."
She only thought for a long time, and finally sighed and said: "Chen Feng, tell me, are you suffering from depression?"
I was stunned for a moment, and it took me a while to react and asked her, "How did you know?"
"Don't ask me how I know. Just tell me and that's it."
"yes."
Sun Xiaojie looked at me with a heavy face and said: "So you can't leave. I have seen many people commit suicide due to depression, and there have even been such people around me. So you can't leave!"
I smiled bitterly and said, "You're overthinking it. I haven't reached that point yet, and it's not as serious as you said."
"Then I don't care. If you dare to go out today, I will"
"Just what?"
"I will die for you and I will make you blame yourself for the rest of your life."
I smiled and said, "Do you think I will really blame myself for you? You are overthinking it again."
"Then give it a try!"
I stopped arguing with her, picked up the box and walked outside.
I thought she was just telling me to scare me, but I didn't expect that she actually ran to the balcony and climbed over the railing.
This was the 22nd floor, and it was blowing very hard outside. As soon as she climbed onto the railing, her hair was instantly messed up by the wind.
"Hey, don't mess around!"
"You go away. I'll jump down if you go. I'm not kidding you."
I said helplessly: "As for that? I'm really convinced by you."
"I don't care, anyway, you can't leave me even half a step until your depression is gone."
"Crazy, you are really crazy."
She stopped talking, but I could feel that she was also afraid of falling, and she was holding on to the railing with both hands.
I don't know if she was trying to scare me, but I really don't want to see people around me die in front of my eyes anymore. It feels so desperate.
I finally put down the box in my hand and said to her: "I promise you won't leave. Come down quickly!"
"My foot is cramped, please come and help me quickly"
I was really convinced. When I walked to the balcony, I grabbed her hand and prepared to pull her back.
And at that moment, my mind reappeared that day when I was facing the storm at sea and I grabbed An Lan's hand.
That scene suddenly appeared in my mind like a movie. I remember deeply that she asked me to let go, that she slipped from my hands and fell into the sea.
When I thought of this, I suddenly pulled Sun Xiaojie back from the railing.
Because of the excessive force, the moment I pulled her back, I was also thrown to the ground by the inertia.
Sun Xiaojie just pressed on me, and she instantly jumped up and said to me, "Why are you using so much force?"
I haven't come back to my senses yet, and my whole person is still in a sluggish state.
"Hey, what's wrong with you? Are you okay? Talk! Hello"
When Sun Xiaojie saw me lying motionless on the ground, he suddenly became anxious: "What's going on? Did you fall and hit your brain? Let me take a look."
I closed my eyes, exhaled a long breath, and then recovered from that state, and said to her: "It's okay."
"I was scared to death. I really thought I hit my head."
"Don't be so stupid in the future. Life is more important than anything else."
Sun Xiaojie rolled his eyes and said, "Do you think I will really seek death? I don't. Isn't it good to live?"
"Then what are you doing? Just to scare me? Sun Xiaojie, you really went too far!" I suddenly became angry, and turned to yell at Sun Xiaojie.
Sun Xiaoxiao was a little confused by my yelling, and said innocently: "I don't want you to stay, why are you so mean?"
"Don't use this method to force me to stay. It's really stupid, you know?"
After saying that, I returned to the living room angrily, sat on the sofa, lit up a cigarette as usual and started smoking.
Sun Xiaoxiao seemed to realize it, and came to me, lowered his head and murmured: "I was wrong, don't be angry."
I ignored her, and she continued: "Don't be like this. I'll dance or sing a song for you. Just smile."
"Can't laugh."
"Then I'll tell you a joke."
"Need not."
"Oh! Don't be like this. I was really wrong. I won't do this again. I didn't do this just because I wanted you to stay, because I asked you to come to Chengdu, and I have to be responsible for you!"
"You don't have to be like this. I choose to come here because I want to come, not because of who comes."
Sun Xiaojie curled his lips and said with some disappointment: "Yes, yes, it is whatever you say, so why don't I just leave you alone? I'm going to take a shower, you can figure it out yourself!"
After saying that, she went back to the bedroom.
I was sitting alone on the sofa smoking a cigarette. At that moment, I really thought of An Lan. I didn't mean to be angry with Sun Xiaojie.
It's just that I hate this feeling so much that it has even turned into fear. I don't want people around me to make fun of them with their lives anymore.
After a long time, Sun Xiaojie came out of the bathroom. She had already changed into pajamas.
Because the heating was on and the floor was heated in the room, she wore very little even in winter.?