I smiled and said: "Guess, I feel like you know depression very well, and I feel like you have also suffered from depression."
When the green light turned on, Sun Xiaoxiao continued on the road, saying to me: "Yes, that was a long time ago."
After a short pause, she added: "So I know how uncomfortable depression is, and you may even commit suicide. I just don't trust you!"
"Tell me, why did you suffer from depression, and how did you get better?"
"Want to know?"
"I don't really think about it, I'm just curious."
Sun Xiaojie snorted and said, "If you want to know, just tell me. You have to go through such a big detour."
After a short silence, Sun Xiaoxiao finally said: "I suffered from depression because of many things. At that time, I was preparing for the college entrance examination, but my parents had a conflict. They wanted to divorce and I was depressed all day long. Plus, the college entrance examination did not help me.
After passing the test, I collapsed."
"Is that why?"
"I told you that because of many things, I didn't see anyone during that time, and I only ate one meal a day, and sometimes I didn't want to eat at all."
At this point, Sun Xiaojie gave a wry smile, glanced at me and said, "Guess how much I weighed before I suffered from depression?"
"How much? He can't be a fat man, can he?"
Sun Xiaojie smiled and said: "She is really a little chubby girl. I still have photos from before. I will show you when I get here later. I weighed more than 150 pounds at that time. My face was as big as a basin and my legs were very thick.
At that time, I also fell in love with a senior student, and I mustered up the courage to confess to him, but was told that I was ashamed of myself."
I asked curiously: "What did you say? Did you say you were ugly?"
"It's okay to call me ugly, because I'm used to him actually calling me shameless and saying that I don't have a point in my heart. Even if all the women in the world die and I'm the only one left, he won't be able to like me. You tell me, what else can I do?
Is this more shocking?"
I couldn't hold back my laughter, and Sun Xiaojie rolled his eyes at me again, complaining: "Is it that funny?"
"I feel like you are making up a joke to me."
"If I make up a joke and it strikes me like lightning, what I say is the truth. That's it. My depression will become more serious. I will stay behind closed doors every day. But I didn't expect that after one summer vacation, I would successfully lose weight from over 150 pounds to 150 pounds."
I weighed more than 120 pounds, but I also suffered from stomach problems. The pain made me want to die.
I've really sought death, and I've even slit my wrists, you see."
As she said that, Sun Xiaojie stretched out her right wrist towards me.
When I took a look, there was indeed a very obvious scar on her right wrist, which was shocking.
"What happened next?" I became even more curious.
"Later, my mother discovered it and took me to the hospital in time to save me. But since then, I have become depressed. I feel that the whole world hates me. Even my mother scolded me. I thought about dying again, so I took advantage of the opportunity.
Everyone climbed up to the roof of my house when they weren’t paying attention.”
"Who stopped me again?" I asked.
"I figured it out myself this time."
"How did you figure it out?"
At the traffic light intersection again, Sun Xiaojie stopped the car and asked me for a cigarette.
After I ordered it for her, she said slowly: "I was sitting on the rooftop on the 19th floor. The wind was blowing very hard that day and my hair was messed up, but I was not afraid at all, because
I know this world is not worth it.”
"You get out of the car, I'll drive, and you just tell me a story." I interrupted her.
So I changed places with her in the rain, and just as the light turned green, I started again.
Sun Xiaojie also began to recall it seriously and continued: "Just when I was about to jump, a classmate of mine who was very good at playing called me. I answered her phone and she told me that there was a dance school.
She knew that I had loved dancing since I was a child, but because of my figure, I was not given a place in various activities organized by the school, so I felt very inferior."
I answered: "Then have you gone?"
"I went. I have to thank my classmate. If it weren't her, it wouldn't be me sitting here talking to you now."
"Does this stop you from jumping off the building?"
"No, actually I figured it out myself. I wanted to become better, and I didn't want to live up to my mother's hard work in raising me up, so I gave myself another chance.
After I got off the rooftop, I went to the not-so-famous dance school with my classmate, and successfully entered that school.
My mother also supported my decision, but the classmates in the school were even worse, because they were all girls, and they all loved vanity. I was relatively fat at that time, and they used all kinds of soft violence on me. I hid under the quilt every night.
Crying inside."
I couldn't listen anymore, so I interrupted her and said, "Just tell me how you changed. Don't talk about these sad past events."
"No, I want to say, I want you to understand me completely."
After a pause, Sun Xiaojie continued: "I still haven't given up on myself. I want to prove that I can do it, so I started all kinds of overloaded training and exercise. I completed what the teacher prescribed every day, and I would practice again in private.
At that time, every good part of my body hurt so much in the middle of the night that I couldn't sleep. My classmates also bullied me, saying that I practiced alone in private just to please the teacher. They continued to do all kinds of soft violence to me, even when I was not in the dormitory.
, threw the towel they used on my bed, it still had blood on it."
"F*ck! Can you bear this?" I couldn't help but curse my mother, because this was so abominable.
Sun Xiaojie took a deep breath of cigarette and said: "Be patient! I have to endure it if I can't bear it anymore. Otherwise, what else can I do? Kill them? Then my life will be over."
"That's true, but if it were me, I probably wouldn't be able to bear it."
Sun Xiaojie smiled bitterly and continued: "One day has passed, and my efforts have not been in vain. In the second year, I met the master who completely changed my entire destiny. She also brought me to Beijing Dance Academy."
"How did you meet your master?"
"There was a cultural evening at school! I also participated, and then my master saw my performance, and she talked to my school, and then came to talk to me again, hoping that I could go to Beijing Dance Academy, and she also said that she could help me get a work-study program.
Opportunity."
I smiled and said, "You have really met a noble person."
"Yes! My master treated me like a family member. Because she was never married and had no children, she raised me as her own daughter. Under her training, I began a long process of change.
At that time, I was very strict with myself every day. I started to lose weight in various ways, but I tried to lose weight in various ways. The effect was obvious. After half a year, I successfully lost weight to what I am now. Suddenly I found that I looked better, and people in school were chasing me.
There are more and more people here, and no one is trying to bully me anymore.
That period was the happiest time for me. I won prizes and was so lucky that I didn't even have to pay tuition. I used the prize money from various competitions to pay for tuition. Master still loved me and loved me as much as before.
But the good times didn't last long. My master passed away from cancer. At that time, I was in my senior year and was about to graduate."
When she said this, Sun Xiaoxiao suddenly fell silent, and her eyes were filled with crystal clear tears.?