I sighed heavily and continued, "You must have been particularly sad at that time, right?"
"It's quite sad. I feel like I have returned to the stage of depression. I have no interest in anything and slowly started to deteriorate. Many classmates have gone out to work one after another. Some have entered the National Art Center, and some have entered the National Arts Center.
Some became dancers, some became teachers
But I am still in school, and I cannot accept Master's departure, and I shed tears almost every day."
I smiled bitterly and said, "It seems that your life has really been full of ups and downs!"
Sun Xiaoxiao let out a long sigh and said: "Who says it's not the case? It took me a long time to come out slowly, but I have lost all kinds of job opportunities. During that time, I was confused for a long time, until I came into contact with self-media
I started posting videos of my old school dances on Douyin. Unexpectedly, they suddenly became popular and companies approached me. That’s how I started to embark on the path of self-media.”
After listening to what Sun Xiaojie said, I felt mixed emotions, indescribable tastes and feelings.
It turns out that everyone in this world has their own unspeakable secrets and unforgettable regrets.
As far as what Sun Xiaojie went through, he was no better than me.
As a girl, it is not easy for her to be able to endure it and still live so well now.
She asked me for cigarettes again, and I finally said to her: "Stop smoking! I don't like girls smoking."
"You know, I usually don't smoke, but I'm a little unhappy now."
"If you're not happy, just say something happy, and don't smoke anymore."
"Okay, okay, I'll listen to you and stop smoking."
After a slight pause, she said to me again: "So, you should know now why I have to let you live in my house, right? I'm afraid that you suddenly can't think about it, because I have been through it, and I understand the seriousness of depression all too well.
.”
I nodded and replied in a deep voice: "I know, but please don't worry, I won't be so obsessed with it. I still have things to do."
Sun Xiaojie was stunned and said, "Is that what you said before about making 10 million?"
I nodded, and Sun Xiaojie said again: "This is not difficult for me, but why do you insist on making 10 million? Why?"
"For An Lan."
Sun Xiaoxiao was stunned again and said in confusion: "What do you mean, I don't understand."
So I told Sun Xiaojie about An Lan's yard that had been sealed by the court, and the ten million was used to redeem the house.
Sun Xiaojie sighed after hearing this: "You are so infatuated! I wish you were my boyfriend. There are not many dedicated men like you nowadays. To be honest, there are not many women either. Nowadays, love seems to be for the brave.
It’s a game, no one dares to talk about love easily.”
I didn't want to talk about these things, so I changed the subject and asked her: "By the way, does the boy you liked in high school know about your changes now?"
"You must know it! I am so famous now, but we have no contact at all."
"Then he should regret it very much!"
"What does it have to do with me? I have to thank him. If he hadn't rejected me and said so many unpleasant things about me, I probably wouldn't be where I am today."
"That's true." I nodded in agreement.
We chatted all the way, and although we stopped and stopped due to traffic jams, we still felt like we had arrived at my residence in a short time.
When I was about to get off the car, Sun Xiaojie stopped me and said, "Would you like to stop thinking about it and follow me to my place?"
"No, I know you mean well, and I also want to be alone."
"Okay, I won't advise you anymore, bye."
I stood there and watched her leave before slowly returning home.
I was a little lonely on a rainy night. Looking at the lights of thousands of houses outside the window, I felt lost for a while.
I cooked myself a bowl of noodles and just stayed in front of the TV, watching boring TV series and eating noodles.
Whenever I am alone, I always have random thoughts, and the person I think of is naturally An Lan. I can't forget her because she gave me the happiest time.
Did he really disappear from my world like that? I don’t believe it, and I still don’t believe it until now.
I heard that going to hell will be very painful.
But I'm not afraid of going to hell, I'm afraid of going to hell only to find that you are not there at all!
An Lan, do you know?
Ever since I drank the wine you brewed with love, if I didn't refill it, I would be thirsty for the rest of my life.
Looking at the prosperous city outside the window, I suddenly resented the prosperity and hustle and bustle of this city. It used the coldness made of reinforced concrete to drown my Anlan.
I don't believe that your appearance is a punishment from God.
I miss you!
An Lan
I really don't believe that you disappeared like this. I don't believe that after you shed a ray of sunshine into my empty and silent life, you made my world sink into darkness again.
Standing on the balcony, I looked at the city in the rain and fog. Those neon lights glowed with a halo, drowning all the joys and sorrows in the city.
This is just a city suitable for selling youth. After all, love is just a luxury product of youth, something that is elusive and unattainable.
Looking into the depths of the night sky, there is an invisible vastness, and I am wandering like a ghost in the vast time.
Loss, confusion, hesitation, and some unspeakable helplessness and sadness
I know clearly that she will never appear again, and I know that she has completely left this world, but I just can't accept it.
Maybe this is love, even if there are hurts, even if there are tears, we are still looking forward to that small possibility.
If you just meet and can't stay, it's really better not to meet.
I don't want to admit it or accept it, she is a passer-by in my life.
Missing comes like a tide.
She gave me sunshine, she taught me to smile, so who can teach me to forget?
An Lan, I really miss you.
The night was completely quiet, the neon lights outside the window dimly lit through the glass, and the room was eerily silent.
I was in a daze, lying on the corner of the sofa and falling asleep like a dead dog.
I had a dream. The dream was very confusing and psychedelic.
I seemed to have entered an unknown world. This world was extremely unreal, just like in a painting.
Every scene in the dream has a jagged outline, and the surfaces of all fillers are covered with very bright ink.
This world can be touched, even the air can be touched, and the stars in the sky can also be touched.
As long as it is stirred, everything around you will cease to exist, but new items will soon appear.
I also saw An Lan in my dream. She was standing in front of me in a plain white dress. She smiled very sweetly.
But I can't touch her. I can touch everything around me, but I can't touch her.
I was very anxious, but she was obviously very close to me, but she made me feel far away.
As far away as the snow on an iceberg, crystal clear and holy.
I pounced towards her, but missed, and then she giggled, her smile was very real.
I was still unwilling to give in. Even though I fell countless times, I kept trying to catch her.
But she gradually began to disappear and gradually became transparent