Liang Jing once told me the county where her hometown is located, including the detailed address on her ID card, which is in a small county in Hunan.
I drove there from Chengdu, a total of one thousand kilometers.
After driving for eleven and a half hours, it was already night when we arrived.
I originally made an appointment to visit the cemetery today, but I had to postpone it for a day. I found a hotel in the county and stayed there.
I barely closed my eyes that night and kept staring at Liang Jing's urn.
I can't understand that a person of such flesh and blood could spend eternity in such a small box.
I still couldn't accept this fact. My face was pale, and in my mind were all kinds of little expressions Liang Jing had when talking to me, as well as her mischievous energy.
Is there any regret medicine in this world?
Or it would be nice to go back in time. I hope to go back to two days ago, when I would have tried my best to stop Liang Jing.
However, no one can look back.
I reached out and held the urn in my hand. It was very light, as light as if Liang Jing had never existed in this world.
But it was very heavy, because I finally held her in this way, and her soul and everything about her fell into my hands at this moment.
I imagined that Liang Jing was by my side at this moment, with her leaning against me and me holding her in my arms.
I admit that I miss her, and in the boundless darkness, I think about her very hollowly.
Just like Liang Jing said, we obviously knew each other, but why did we become friends?
No one can explain this problem clearly, so I can only think blankly
Thinking about what it would be like for us to go shopping together; thinking about what it would be like if we were truly in love?
Thinking about the way she laughed heartily when I told jokes; thinking about traveling together; thinking about how I like to watch Hollywood blockbusters, and she likes to watch innocent idol dramas and fight for the remote control.
Thinking, thinking, a very strange feeling emerged in my heart, as if Liang Jing was a fiction and she could only live in my fiction.
Although I have never felt like falling in love with her, she cannot be erased from my memory
I will remember her for the rest of my life, and I will tell her stories to my future children, I definitely will.
But when I think about it, I will never hear her voice again, and I will never see her mean expression, or those two cute pear holes when she smiles.
My heart felt an indescribable pain, and I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry loudly.
Could it be that my depression is about to sprout again?
Last time, I suffered from depression because of An Lan's death, which I finally recovered from. Now, Liang Jing's incident happened again.
Damn it, fuck me, right?
Okay, then I will fight you to the end!
I don't know how I fell asleep. It seemed that I didn't sleep for long before it was daybreak.
After getting up and washing up, I took the initiative to contact the cemetery salesperson, and we made an appointment to meet at a restaurant for morning tea.
We didn't talk much. After having breakfast together, he took me to the cemetery.
This cemetery is very good, and the scenery is very good, especially from the highest point. Standing there and looking down, you have the illusion of seeing all the mountains at a glance.
Liang Jing likes places with beautiful scenery. I think she should accept sleeping here!
The salesperson at the cemetery introduced me to various price points. Naturally, the top two floors were the most expensive, selling for almost 7 to 8 million. There were several villas in the tombstones that sold for 1 to 2 million.
I have no money. If I had money, I would definitely choose the best one for Liang Jing.
An Lan transferred 200,000 yuan to me, and finally negotiated with the salesperson and chose a place halfway up the mountain for a total of 170,000 yuan.
There was no crying during the burial, and there was no grand ceremony. It seemed that I was the only one in the entire cemetery.
I'm not afraid because the person I'm holding is my best, best, best friend.
I put her into the small box with my own hands, covered it with a stone slab, and erected a tombstone for her with my own hands.
I went to buy lilies and placed them in front of her tombstone. They were her favorite flowers during her lifetime.
I chose the photo on the tombstone. It was a photo with a smile. Although it was black and white, her smile was like a red flower.
After sorting these things out, it was already afternoon, and I never left the cemetery.
It makes my heart sad to think that she is really gone.
I don't want to leave so soon because I don't know when I will come back next time.
I lit a cigarette and sat down next to the tombstone, and I felt that the distance between me and her was getting closer.
The closer the distance is, the more we can speak our minds.
I leaned my head on the tombstone, and what I saw with my eyes were big trees and blue sky and white clouds.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of cigarette.
The breeze blew, and listening to the chirping of birds in my ears, I finally said to Liang Jing: "You know, I really find that the scenery in your small county is extremely beautiful, better than any place I have ever been to."
You’ve been telling me how beautiful your hometown is for so many years, but you’ve never had the chance to take me to see it, but now you’re here.”
"Liang Jing, how can I accept the fact that you have left this world? It's really hard for me to accept. I just want to ask you, why are you going to Min Wenbin? Didn't I tell you? I told you not to go there.
She, why don’t you listen to me?”
"I really don't think it's worth it to trade Min Wenbin's life for yours. He's already a wanted criminal. There's really no need for you to be stupid! You're such a fool."
As I spoke, I started laughing, and tears flowed out of my eyes involuntarily.
I closed my eyes and took another drag of the cigarette, and then some fragmentary pictures came to mind.
Among those scenes, there were scenes of Liang Jing and I talking and laughing. I found that she was never worried and was happy at all times. She would also transfer her emotions to me.
Even when I was the saddest, she would think of every way to make me happy.
What I remember most clearly is that every time I drank too much, she always liked to pinch my arm. When I looked at her coldly, she would look at me and giggle.
That silly smile is something I can't forget.
I blew out the smoke from my mouth and said to myself again: "What impressed me most was that when we graduated from college, we had a party and you sang a song called "Wild Child" in the ktv. Later you told me that this song was
It was given to me. You said it was also your favorite song. You said you were that wild child, knowing that you loved such a boy, but you could only do this."
As I talked, I could no longer suppress the sadness in my heart, and I took my phone out of my pocket.
And I found this song called Wild Child on NetEase Cloud. After pressing the play button, I started humming along:
"Even if you only talk about a relationship, except for temporary vanity, it does not mean that you can escape from the fairyland after playing in the honeymoon suite; I am willing to gain your respect, bear the charge of being too arrogant, and squeeze into your arms, such as
My feelings are getting colder, and I am not alone, but I am alone; knowing that I love this kind of boy, maybe I can only do this, but I will become the woman you care about most; day and night, I will let you guess how to tame me, if you hold me with your own hands,
Or it doesn’t have to be like this; many others say that I don’t understand that boys, not being commanded is the worst name, and they laugh at me, a wild child who has no way to control me, and I don’t even mind not being happy.”
How familiar the melody is, how sad I am, because the melody is the most indelible memory in the world.