Wang Yi rushed over, she hugged me and cried with me.
This is destined to be a tragic day, but people always have this day, sooner or later.
My mother, I just left, quietly.
I don't know how long I cried. I only know that I have no tears anymore, and even breathing is an impossible task.
I don't know how much time passed, but Wang Yi gently patted my shoulder and said to me: "Don't be too sad. Auntie passed away so peacefully. She definitely didn't want you to be so sad."
"Yes, my mother never wanted me to be sad. She always told me to be strong before she was alive. I want to be strong!" As I said that, I raised my head and wiped away my tears.
As I said that, I stretched out my trembling hand and tightly grasped my mother's hand that was still warm.
Seeing her sleeping soundly at the end, countless moments related to her kept popping up in my mind.
When I was very young, she always wore a fine linen top and had beautiful long hair, washing clothes in the creek not far from home.
Every time I go to the market, she always brings me delicious food; every time I go to work in the fields, she also brings me some wild fruits from the mountains.
Thinking of these, my heart twitched again.
Suddenly I remembered a song "Mother" sung by Zhao Lei, just like that lyric.
"I don't want to be silent in the winter without leaves, and there is no car in this world that can take me away from sadness."
"Chen Feng" Wang Yi suddenly called me.
"I'm fine, Wang Yi, don't worry."
It's true that everything is fine, but it's false that I don't feel bad.
I had no emotions, so I just sat next to my mother and let myself go.
"If parents are here, there is still a place to come in life; if parents are gone, there is only a way back in life."
Now, my parents are gone.
Maybe growth comes from this thought.
This night was difficult, and it was destined to be sad. I don’t know how I spent this night.
Everyone has to go through many life and death partings before they can truly grow up, and I am also going through the most difficult parting in my life.
Mom's funeral was held on the third day, and it wasn't very grand.
Because my mother is not a lively person, she is a very pure southern girl. She likes to be quiet, read books, and sit in front of the sewing machine to mend torn clothes.
I hope she won't have to bear so much pressure in the next life, and I hope she can live a life she likes.
The weather is very good today, the sun shines brightly on everything.
I kept wearing sunglasses and stood in front of my mother's urn without saying a word.
If I say how heavy my heart is, I think it is not as heavy as I thought, because it seems that I have become numb.
Although sad and sad, everyone will die eventually, and my mother doesn’t want me to be sad, but the tears are so disappointing.
It's gone, everything is gone.
The only thing left is the impression of my mother in my heart. She is the kindest and gentlest woman in the world. I love her.
Finally, the funeral home staff handed me the urn.
Fallen leaves have to return to their roots. I have to send my mother's ashes back to my hometown for burial. That is her real home.
The word I heard the most that day was "sorrow". The moment I walked out of the funeral home with the urn in my arms, I raised my head and vomited out the pent-up sadness in my heart.
I shouldn't be sad, just like the beautiful weather today, just like my mother has always lived an upright life.
So this boundless sunshine is the best gift, symbolizing the uprightness of her life.
The next morning, I drove back to my hometown with my mother’s urn in my car.
Wang Yi was with me. She said she didn't trust me at this time and wanted to stay with me, and I didn't refuse.
After returning to my hometown, the neighbors and villagers also knew about my mother's death, and they came to express their condolences one after another.
I have become numb to the word "sorrow", and there is no more waves in my heart.
I found a Feng Shui master in my hometown and found a place with good Feng Shui in front of my father's grave, and placed my mother's ashes there.
I covered it with the last touch of soil with my own hands, feeling extremely sad.
Thinking back to the past, every time I came home, my mother would prepare a lot of delicious food for me. I always felt that I still had a home. No matter how homeless I was outside, I still had a home.
But from now on, I am alone. When I get home, no one will greet me, and there will never be a bowl of hot food.
From then on, there was a separation between yin and yang.
Two days ago we were chatting and laughing together, but now I can no longer hear my mother's voice, and I can no longer feel my mother's warmth.
From now on, I am alone, and I have to bear all the sufferings alone.
Tears burst out of my eyes uncontrollably again. At this moment, my body was empty, and all that came to mind were childhood scenes, all of which were my mother's care and warmth.
I took a deep breath, and there was still some smell of burning paper money in the air.
I took out Rose Island, my mother's favorite book, and I wanted to read the last paragraph to my mother.
"Our souls are always an island, isolated from each other, each in its own place, with no exit and no way to cross, we love each other, but we cannot talk to each other, each is lonely, and each is green and prosperous."
This is the last paragraph of this book, which is a book about love, life and death.
Mother loves to watch, just as she misses her father in heaven.
I don’t know if they can meet each other. If they do, I really hope they will still be husband and wife in the next life.
I closed the book and threw it into the fire pit to burn.
I am leaving and I will leave this book with my mother.
Because this is their story, and my story continues
One day I will take my own story with me and die under this land.
Before I left, I kowtowed three times in front of my mother's tombstone. At this time, a gloomy drizzle began to fall in the sky.
A gust of cold wind blew from nowhere, penetrating all over with a raging attitude, and the cold rain like knives fell on the face and the ground, and the air was filled with a suffocating smell.
Wang Yi stayed beside me quietly and held up a black umbrella for me.
I stood up from the ground, turned around and said to Wang Yi: "Thank you Wang Yi, let's go back."
"Yeah." She said nothing more, nodded and followed me to my residence.
I look back from time to time, I just want to take one last look at my mother.
When I returned to my hometown, facing the now empty house, I could no longer feel the warmth of that home. All I could feel was the mournful scream of people leaving the building.
It feels like everything is so sudden, everything seems like a dream. I wish this was just a dream.
I wish that when I woke up, my mother would chase me all over the mountains and fields with a stick because of the destruction I caused.
After sitting in the living room for a while, I mustered up the courage to walk into my mother's room.
Now everything in my mother's room can bring back memories for me, and I can see things and think about people in these memories.
I took out all the clothes from my mother's closet and put them into a big bag. I found boxes and sealed everything my mother had ever used.
There is always a row of books neatly placed on the desk, with various books that have been read and unread.
"I didn't expect that Auntie likes reading so much." Wang Yi's voice suddenly appeared behind her.