It was a wish that had been born since childhood, long before I came to this world.
The increasingly turbulent mood is like a wave during a rising tide.
The pale wild flames finally couldn't be restrained.
It burned from the bottom of his eyes, completely burning out Russell's entire field of vision.
The whole world was burned and curled by white flames, like a photo placed on a candlelight...
The roar of the machine in my ears gradually dissipated.
The dim world in front of me became relatively brighter.
In the original downtown area, Miss Morgan disappeared.
The hands clasped each other tightly, and the feeling of touch was real and unmistakable.
Rather than a hallucination, it felt more like I was really being transported and appeared somewhere.
But this is definitely not the current world.
Because when he looked down, Russell couldn't see his own shadow.
The place where he is now is the "mourning hall" that he can see every time he activates his true spiritual power.
There are many empty photo frames and white candles high and low...
The photos of Alice, the Blue Songbird and the Paradise Bird's father were still before her eyes.
Only this time, his consciousness was particularly clear. He even had his own real body, instead of just an imitation mind that didn't even have hands.
The original Russell was like the protagonist of a horror game.
I walked over and pressed the survey button, but no hand was reached out. The things were picked up from the air, and I could even flip through them to investigate...
At this moment, Russell realized... what happened to him.
This is... the migration ceremony.
Blue Shift = Red Shift, the ritual of awakening the name of psychic energy.
This means that Russell's redshift value has just been increased by another level.
It also means that before Russell's "rationality" breaks through the limits of ordinary people, there is already the possibility of losing control and turning into a devil at any time...
At this time, Russell was finally able to do what he had always wanted to do but had never been able to do in the illusion before.
He immediately looked back, wanting to see what was behind him.
After all, his previous perspective was fixed... he could only see the photos in front of him and on both sides.
But as soon as he turned around, he froze on the spot.
I saw no white candles behind me.
On a large table, there were only two photo frames placed next to each other.
Although the room was slightly dark, Russell could recognize at a glance... who the person in the photo frame was.
In the photo frame on the right, there is a young man with golden cat ears, green eyes, and a bright and confident smile.
He seemed to be stretching out his right hand and putting his arm around another person's shoulders, because there was also such a hand on his left shoulder.
The cat-eared boy's right arm went out of the photo frame where he was and appeared on the shoulder of the person in the next photo frame.
It was a shy young man with short black hair that reached his ears. His appearance was more delicate than the cat-eared boy, his figure was also slimmer, and his face looked as feminine as a girl's.
That was...myself in my previous life.
This is me when I was a student when I first entered college.
Russell and "Russell" are like partners, holding each other's shoulders. Although they are in two different photo frames, they are like a group photo.
...that is.
Photos of “me”?
Then who am I?
"...Why are you so useless?
"I can't study well, and I can't make friends."
It seemed like the reprimands from my parents when I was a child came to my ears.
Maybe it was just a casual complaint, but the child silently remembered it.
On the surface, he didn't show any abnormality, he just went on playing with himself as usual, like a stupid child who didn't even understand what the words of blame meant.
When I was depressed, I heard the angelic voice of my friend: "If you are unhappy, don't keep it in your heart."
But when the tears really burst out, the comforting voice became boring: "I don't understand... why is there anything to cry about such a trivial matter?
"Maybe you are too sensitive."
Indeed.
The young Russell also knew that he was the one with the problem.
His emotions are too sensitive, like a spider web... The struggle of a mosquito can cause the entire web to vibrate, awakening the spider named "Fear" to come to prey.
Even when sleeping, he would have nightmares because of this.
I dreamed that I was driven to a distant place because I was too useless, and then abandoned... like an abandoned dog.
I dreamed that I was not allowed to go home because I was too useless. I was crying and banging on the door, but there was no response.
I dreamed that my throat was speechless, and I tried to explain to someone, but the other person's expression was first concerned and then bored.
...Ah, that was that time.
He muttered silently to himself.
Indeed.
From that moment on, the young Russell understood... No one can truly understand other people's positions, and no one can empathize with other people's psychology.
This is natural, because no one can "become" anyone else. Everyone's life is independent.
Therefore, it is very reasonable for people to have disputes and quarrels, misunderstandings and conflicts.
If you were an ordinary person, you might become more mature and sensible because of this...
Or you may become less sensitive and less easily hurt. You may also simply become inferior, introverted, and stop communicating with others.
Either way it's possible.
But here's what sets Russell apart.
...His reaction was too intense.
If you can't understand other people's positions, if you can't experience other people's thoughts, then find a way to "become" someone else.
Once you have the same hobbies, similar thinking patterns, and similar levels, you can become friends with anyone.
If your own failure is too painful, go ahead and fulfill other people's wishes.
Only fulfill the wishes of others... You can also share the joy if you win, and you won't let yourself down if you fail.
If you are too incompetent.
Then stop being yourself and become someone else.
From the very beginning, I was not a passive "pleasant personality".
But something even weirder and more abnormal than that.
Learn the strengths of others, understand the preferences of others, feel the joys and sorrows of others, and realize the wishes of others.
Then, become someone else’s “other self” in the world.
It's natural to be loved by people.
It is natural to be feared and disgusted by a few sensitive people.
...not so much making friends.
Rather, to replace it.
During student days, "leaders" who have many friends usually have a fixed circle of friends.
Russell can naturally break into it through observation, imitation, and learning.
But those imitated by Russell did not improve as quickly as Russell.
So soon...
Originally only on the edge of the circle, Russell soon became the center of the circle.
Later, the original center was alienated and became the edge.
Because that person's positioning is completely the same as Russell's, but his performance is far inferior to Russell's.
The circle that gathers because of his hobbies and personality will naturally be robbed by Russell. Even people whose identities have been robbed will not hate Russell...
Because how can one hate another self?
He only admires Russell because he is his "ideal self".
Like a magic mirror driven by desire, everyone can see the "ideal" friend who is most suitable for them.
It's not about performing, it's about "becoming".
What games do you like to discuss with your friends, I will understand and learn;
If you like your friend to be good at cooking, I will learn to cook;
If you like friends with good personalities, my personality is soft and gentle;
If you like your friends to be cheerful enough, I will become active and enthusiastic...
As long as you do your best in everything, it's impossible to become "useless".
Because on every road, he cannot be the last.
The person imitated by Russell will eventually be surpassed by him.
"Russell" may not be the best, but he will never be the most useless.
And if we trace the source of Shuo...
Whose wish was this "Russell" born from?
"...It's me."
Russell was stunned.
Becoming such Russell was born out of his own desire.
