"Why do you ask this?" Lu Mingfei said to Renata, "Do I have contact with many girls...is this one of the clues?"
"No, it suddenly occurred to me that you once mentioned a girl's menarche to me." Renata looked into Lu Mingfei's eyes, "If you have been locked up here and have no memory, how would you know?
What are menarche and menstruation in girls? You are not a girl, will anyone tell you this? Those nurses will not even teach us girls this knowledge."
Lu Mingfei was stunned again. Indeed, when Renata told him that she wet the bed, Lu Mingfei naturally corrected Renata and said that this was not bed-wetting, but her daughter's menarche, symbolizing that a girl was about to grow out of bed.
The process of a child transforming into a real woman... But how did Lu Mingfei know this?
Lu Mingfei thought about it carefully and found that he had no memory of all this. No one told him what a girl's menarche was or what a girl's menstruation was. The only people he came into contact with here were nurses, but the nurses
It was impossible for them to tell Lu Mingfei about girls' menarche and menstruation. Lu Mingfei had no memory of this period. This knowledge was just like the history of the Soviet Union's defeat of Germany. It was as if someone had stuffed it into his mind out of thin air.
This caused Lu Mingfei to fall into deep self-doubt.
"And... the night of the full moon." Lu Mingfei looked directly at Renata, "You once told me that another guy in my body told you that if I find you on the night of the full moon,
If you don't get back the two things you lost, some important things cannot be undone, right? So we still have four days?"
"Yes, originally there was still a week, but you said you slept for three days, and I was also detained for three days." Renata nodded.
"But why do I know that the 15th is the night of the full moon?" Lu Mingfei murmured in a low voice, his voice echoing in the empty room, "In my memory, I have never left this room, nor have I ever left this room.
I have never seen the moon with my own eyes, so how can I accurately determine which night the full moon is?"
Renata was stunned for a moment.
"When you talked about the night of the full moon, the date of the 15th came to my mind subconsciously, without thinking about it." Lu Mingfei said, "But when I think about it now, I can't remember who it is at all.
He told me that the 15th is the day of the full moon, and I have no impression of seeing a full moon."
"It's not just these few things, there are many, many things. Looking back now, I can't find the source of memory for almost everything in my cognition..." Lu Mingfei said slowly, "It's really just amnesia.
Is it that simple...is it possible that I am false?"
When he said the last sentence, Lu Mingfei's voice was very low. He seemed to be asking Renata, and he seemed to be asking a question to himself... This question was like a lingering devil.
, lingering in Lu Mingfei’s mind and unable to go away.
"Aren't you right here?" Renata touched Lu Mingfei's forehead with her finger, "I can see you and touch you, so why do you say you are false?"
Renata couldn't keep up with Lu Mingfei's brain circuit. No matter how smart she was, she was only a little girl in her early ten years, and she had never received a decent education, so Renata couldn't keep up with Lu Mingfei at this time.
She didn't know that Lu Mingfei couldn't distinguish between himself and whether he was a free consciousness.
Now Lu Mingfei can no longer think about what he has lost. He has fallen into deep self-doubt. He does not know the value of his existence... Maybe he was created by someone, and this life is just for food.
It’s just a sample observed by others. If that’s the case, does it matter what you’ve lost? Because you have nothing to begin with, what other irreversible things could happen to you?
Lu Mingfei tried his best to raise his head. His neck was tightly strangled by the straitjacket, but Lu Mingfei was not trying to break free. He didn't want Renata to see his current expression.
Lu Mingfei stared at the ceiling blankly and sadly. The light in his eyes dimmed inch by inch. His eyes were hollow and numb. There seemed to be a bottomless whirlpool inside. The whirlpool of despair swept away all the emotions, as if
Even the self is gradually being swallowed up.
"This is how you live here and now, and this is how you spend every moment of your life."
"If you are awake, you should be awake; if you are asleep, you should be sound asleep. If you are doing one thing, you should not think about other things. If your hands are here, your thoughts should also be
Here. If you start taking action, don’t hesitate.”
"When you live in life and die in death, in harmony with yourself and the universe, there is nothing to fear."
"If you doubt, you no longer believe in yourself. And when doubt begins, belief ends."
A poetic language sounded in Lu Mingfei's ears, reciting and chanting... It was Renata singing some strange sentences in a low voice, just like a bard reciting the words he had just composed to encourage the world.
Lu Mingfei, who was still staring at the ceiling in a daze, was brought back from his thoughts by Renata's words. He turned his head and looked at Renata in surprise, as if he didn't expect this girl to speak such philosophical sentences.
"I didn't say it. I heard it all. These words were all said by you." Renata looked at Lu Mingfei's surprised eyes and said with some embarrassment, "Oh, oh, it's someone else."
A boy... these are what Zero said."
"Did Number Zero tell you?" Lu Mingfei asked.
"No, he was talking to himself." Renata shook her head, "When I couldn't sleep at night, I always heard someone reciting poetry in this building. I asked No. 0, and he said he
I couldn't sleep at night, so I could only read poems to pass the time, but he also heard these words."
"Number Zero also said that truly smart people will not fall into self-doubt. If a person doesn't even trust himself, he will eventually lose everything." Renata added to Lu Mingfei, "But this sentence
The words were spoken by Number Zero himself, not by what he heard... Number Zero said that he would rather doubt the world than doubt himself."
"I always feel that these sentences are familiar, but I can't remember where I heard them." Lu Mingfei recalled it and started to have a headache again. He was a little helpless.
Every time he finally had some thoughts and wanted to think about it, his head started to hurt inexplicably. It was as if someone had set up a huge cage in his brain, and all important memories were locked in that cage.
In the cage, pain was used as a door lock. Whenever Lu Mingfei wanted to explore what was in the cage, he was blocked by an unbearable headache.
Because an excellent person in power will never have a bad attitude towards the people at the bottom. He only needs to restrain his subordinates, pass his thoughts and will through the layers, and radiate to the entire utopia... So
It is said that those nurses and soldiers actually represent the will of the "Doctor" himself, or that the entire utopia is a collection of the "Doctor's" thoughts. Renata feels that living here is very depressing, precisely because
She lives in the shadow of the "Doctor's" will.
Lu Mingfei understood Renata's words, but he did not tell Renata these thoughts, because whether Renata understood or not was secondary. If Renata understood this meaning, she would definitely understand it in the future.
The doctor was afraid of him. No matter how smart Renata was, she was only a little girl in her early ten years. She could not hide her thoughts perfectly. Lu Mingfei was afraid that Renata would be in danger because of her analysis.
Although Lu Mingfei has not yet thought about what he has lost, he seems to have found the key to recovering those things... If everyone in this port is a stem of a leaf, then unraveling all the intricacies
After the context, the "root" pointed to is only one person.
"When was the last time you saw 'Doctor'?" Lu Mingfei asked indirectly.
"I can't remember clearly. It seems like a week ago, at the end of lunch, the 'Doctor' announced in the garden that the best children would have the opportunity to be sent to Moscow to study. Everyone was very happy." Renata
Said, "'Doctor' seems to be very busy recently, and he has left all our affairs to the head nurse... Oh, by the way, there was a man in military uniform standing next to 'Doctor' at that time. I have never seen him before."
"
A man in military uniform? Lu Mingfei was not impressed. He continued to ask Renata: "Do you know the name of 'Doctor'?"
"I don't know, 'Doctor' would only tell us how talented he was when he was studying, and how many girls in school loved him, but 'Doctor' never introduced himself." Renata shook her head, "Whether it was the nurses or the
Soldiers don't even say the name 'Doctor'."
It sounds like the name "Doctor" is like a forbidden word here. Lu Mingfei asked persistently: "What about the appearance of 'Doctor'? You must have seen him in person, right?"
"Have you not seen the appearance of 'Doctor'?" Renata looked at Lu Mingfei in surprise, "Do you suspect that 'Doctor' is related to the things you threw away?"
No matter how slow Renata is, she should realize that Lu Mingfei cares too much about "Doctor". Ever since she mentioned that Doctor said the same thing as No. 0, all the questions Lu Mingfei asked were about "Doctor"
of.
What surprised Renata even more was that Lu Mingfei seemed to have no understanding of "Doctor" at all... How could there be people in this building who had never seen "Doctor"?
Lu Mingfei, who was imprisoned in Ward Zero, should be the one who had the most contact with "Doctor".