"Hey, when are you coming back?" I asked the old immortal while holding the phone and brushing my teeth.
"I can't go back...!" the old immortal said.
"What the hell, are you going to die there?"
"I still have to stay here for a day or two to attend the funeral." The old immortal said helplessly.
"Who died?" I asked casually.
"Pillar."
"Which pillar."
"Just Tan Zhongzhu, what other pillar can there be?" the old immortal replied weakly.
"...You are so fucking stupid. You curse someone to death just after they get married." I spat and said with a frown.
"I'm not lying to you, we are really gone." The old immortal said seriously.
"Get out of here."
"I'm fucking lying, I'm your son," Lao Xian said a little anxiously.
"How did you die?" I asked in shock.
"Drown."
"The car fell into the water," I asked doubtfully.
"No, he fell into a manure pit and drowned." the old immortal emphasized.
"Get the fuck out of here now, or I'll pull you down if you don't come back." As soon as I heard this, I immediately thought he was kidding me, so I reached out and hung up the phone.
Who would have thought that five seconds later, the phone call came again. The old man pulled his neck and shouted: "I'll die if I lie to you. He's really gone. He drank too much last night. I asked him to help me get toilet paper, and then he pooped." He's in a pit...I'll be cremated this morning, fuck."
"……."
I was dumbfounded, blinked my eyes and asked, "Fell... into the shit pit."
"...My son lied. I have never seen him lie like this. It's... so miserable." The old immortal sighed.
"You are really the nemesis of mankind. How come anything can happen to you? Damn...you tell me, who will believe this?" I was still a little confused.
"Come here. There will probably be a funeral tomorrow morning. You can help me get some clothes and be more solemn. Anyway, this matter seems to have something to do with me. I have to send him off." Lao Xian said slowly.
"...It's all for nothing." I didn't know what to say, so I could only sigh.
…
"Life is great, death is so frustrating." Bai Tao said with emotion as he stood beside the old immortal.
"...With just a bang, people are gone. Life is so fragile." The old immortal also agreed.
"I'm telling you, you can't marry this shabby guy. He's so damn cruel." Bai Tao said speechlessly.
"Stop it, there were so many people present yesterday, and everyone was confused when they saw that shit pit, but that Xiaohan didn't even think about it, and just jumped in. For that reason, this bitch is pretty good, I I admire you very much." The old immortal said sincerely.
"...Same." Bai Tao nodded.
…
Tan Zhongzhu and I met once, and it was a bit of a fate. Even if a person dies, he always has to go and have a look. In the afternoon, I asked Hassan to drive, and we rushed to the Shuangcheng together.
After arriving at the place, I met Lao Xian and Bai Tao in the hotel, and we started chatting. We all agreed that Lao Xian was a fucking broom star, and he was involved in all bizarre things.
"You don't know, when the person was dragged up, the nose and mouth were filled with shit. The person was suffocated to death. Damn it, I have to go to the temple to burn incense when I go back tomorrow. This thing is really fucking evil." Old Xian said a little scared, he felt that this thing was quite evil.
"...What did the farmyard say?"
I asked.
"What can I say? He fell into the toilet by himself. What does it have to do with others? But Tan Zhongzhu's brother is very tough in this area. I guess he will have to pay some money, but it is of no use. Everyone is gone. "What can we do if we pay or not? Besides, his family is not short of money." Bai Tao said casually.
"...What does Zhuzi's brother do?"
I asked casually.
"What you do is what he does." Bai Tao looked at me and replied.
"ah."
I nodded understandingly and didn't ask any more questions.
"Oh, no, my stomach is still not healed. I'm going to the toilet, Hassan, get me some paper." The old immortal held his stomach, jumped up, and ran outside.
"Brother, I'm going to kneel down for you. You can scrape it with a stick. I really can't give it away. Your shit is more powerful than an atomic bomb... It's so scary." Hassan was stunned for a moment, pulled his neck and shouted.
"Haha, damn it." Bai Tao suddenly became happy.
"I have to stay away from him in the future. Things happen when he poops. That's weird. I have a buddy. You've seen him. It's the wild goose. After seeing him poop, he has sequelae. Now he poops. Wear a blindfold when you go to the toilet." I whispered to Bai Tao.
"Haha, fuck, you are really good at this." Bai Tao laughed instantly.
"Bang."
The door was pushed open, Xiaogang glanced at the room coldly, and said: "What's so funny about JB? My brother is gone, you just take it as a joke, it's time to eat."
I was stunned for a moment, Bai Tao's laughter stopped abruptly, and Xiaogang turned around and left. He wanted to take revenge on Lao Xian last night, but something happened unexpectedly to Tan Zhongzhu, and he didn't have that thought anymore. This matter is over for now. .
"What's wrong with him?" I asked in confusion.
"Crazy, ignore him." Bai Tao frowned and replied.
Immediately, a few of us went downstairs to have dinner together. The person entertaining us was Tan Zhongzhu's brother, named Tan Zhongshu. He was forty-one or twelve years old, 1.8 meters tall, with a shaved head, no expression on his face, and a black cloth wrapped around his arm. , greeting relatives and friends in the hall.
"Big tree." Bai Tao shouted.
"...Tao." Tan Zhongshu turned around, saw Bai Tao, walked over and nodded.
"My buddy, Xiang Nan, have you met me before?" Bai Tao introduced.
"I've heard about you. You look so young. Hello, hello." Tan Zhongshu smiled and stretched out his hand.
"Why are you young? I'm almost thirty. Hello, Brother Shu."
I replied casually and shook hands with him.
"Uh-huh."
Tan Zhongshu tore open the cigarette case, handed each of us a cigarette, and said angrily: "Yesterday we held a happy event, and today we held a funeral, which made you laugh."
"...What are you talking about? Zhuzhu and I have a good relationship. Who can laugh about this?" Lao Xian lowered his head and replied.
Just as a few of us were talking, another group of people came in at the door. It was Lin Hengfa who came in with two people.
"Big tree."
Lin Hengfa shouted.
I turned around and frowned. Tan Zhongshu patted me on the shoulder and said, "Come on, Tao, Nannan, I'll introduce you to a friend who is also from H City."
"I won't go, you guys can chat." I whispered back and stood still.
"We'll sit by ourselves for a while, and you'll be busy, Dashu."
Bai Tao also replied.
When Tan Zhongshu saw our attitude, he was stunned and said with a smile: "Okay, you guys sit down first and I'll come over later."
"Great." I responded, and then walked to the corner table with Bai Tao, Lao Xian, and Hassan.
"He's here too." Lin Hengfa looked at the rest of us and said casually.
"Do you know me?" Dashu asked.
"I don't know." Lin Hengfa shook his head without hesitation.