I lied to him about uncertainty: "What brave qualities do I have?" I said, now trying to find a safer place in his arms, "I was so wrong in the past, I was just a big fool...
"
He said: "You have done your duty."
He held my chin with one hand, gently raised my face to the moonlight, and looked at me with affectionate eyes. In other words, he looked at me with a very fair and impartial eye, making him look at me calmly.
I also raised my head and looked at him. There may be some tension in my eyes. My lips trembled and I wanted to speak. But I wanted to express but couldn't. Because I tried to get out of him.
I saw some kind of reaction on his expression that could support me, or some kind of flickering light of hope that I understood, a light that could embrace everything about me. I thought he could definitely understand all of me.
I am so eager to be understood by others at this moment.
This time I felt that my mind suddenly became dull. Based on my own long-term experience, I know that this kind of schedule will soon cause severe pain. This will be like the sleeping pills we take. People can't.
It temporarily relieves our sleep, but when we wake up from sleep, after this brief numbness, there will be severe pain.
"I'm so stupid!" I said very sadly. "Now I have to suffer on my own. I have been hoping that something will happen. Just like I have been hoping that Guifengqi will suddenly disappear, or she will take the initiative.
Leave us. You know what happened later, she really disappeared, but I dare say he didn't take the initiative, because he dropped her shoes, which she loved the most, and didn't take anything away, which shows
She left very passively. She was really not sure what terrible things would happen at that time. She actually felt relaxed at that time, but you have to believe that I was just a momentary comfort."
I simply revealed the deepest secret in my heart in one sentence. After I finished speaking, I couldn't help but take a breath of cold air.
In this brief silent atmosphere, a thought came to my mind. In fact, everyone thinks the same about me. I hope everyone will be filled with pity when they see me, or that everyone will feel sorry for my behavior.
There was a kind of indifferent recognition, or indifferent neglect. I began to have some doubts. Logically speaking, I should feel sad, should feel desolate and sad, and should scream loudly at my fate. Because I have been relying on myself for a long time.
, the determination to grit your teeth and look back can get you through many hard and dark years. However, the facts show that no matter how much you want to deny your past, no matter how much you never want to look back on the past, it still remains.
It is a dream-like existence, it will still appear in the dreams deep in your heart from time to time, and it will still question your soul when you are the loneliest and most recent.
Because it has become indifferent, because this matter has become long ago?
"Mao Jiujiu, don't say that. Don't be so humble in front of me. You are just a very brave little girl in my mind. Although sometimes you act very self-righteously, in the eyes of outsiders, you
It does not meet the moral standards of this society. There are too many differences in you. Just because it makes you feel that your character is more unique and distinctive, I cannot say whether you are right or wrong in doing so. I can only say that doing so can
Let you live."
"Yes, yes, that's the kind of person I am. I have done a lot of deception and deception."
""My dear little darling, in fact, all your words are clearly written on your face. Don't Xiao Ma Liu and others know what you think? I think they may not have thought of it. The reason why they surrendered to
You, you call me a cat egg and get close to you every day, because they see the strength in you and the support they can survive. Just let me give them more money, and they will have more work to do.
, once you turn around and leave, your brothers will follow you without hesitation."
I said angrily: "Impossible, my brothers can't be so generous. As long as you put a small gold nugget in front of them, they will definitely be beaten to pieces and bleed until they are beaten. They are just like me.
It’s love like life.”
"You're tired," he said, still looking at me. "You need to let go and relax. I'm here for everything. You don't have to shoulder anything on your own. As a husband, I should bear this responsibility for you."
everything."
"Do you really think that I am a very selfish woman?"
He sincerely helped me analyze: "It can be understood that many moral values in this world may not allow you as a woman to handle things in this way. But if you want to survive in this kind of thing, you are actually taking your brothers with you.
If we continue to work hard together, isn’t that how we understand it?”
After I heard these words, I couldn't help but think about it and wanted to take a few steps back, but his eyes were still staring at mine. Under his stern gaze, I seemed a little confident, but relaxed and a little confused.
What he said was so true that I sometimes wanted to beg him to stop talking. Every word he said spoke to my heart. I have to admit that every word he said came from the heart and was exactly what I wanted to say.
, but I saw his drooped shoulders just showed that he sometimes felt heartache for me.
At this moment, relaxation and self-blame are more entangled in my heart.
After he finished what he said, I really fell silent, and the anger in my heart slowly subsided. I suddenly raised my head and looked at him again, and said to him: "Sometimes I see the old man's reaction to my words.
A bit of contempt and a bit of pity.”
When I said this sentence, my conscience felt extremely uneasy. This sentence had completely hit my defense ability. It turns out that I also care about other people's thoughts. It is not as much as people think.
Live a happy life without fear.
At this moment, I really feel guilty about Gui Fengqi. I don’t know whether it’s for life or money. Anyway, I’m as worried as a child. I must find her!
I can endure it. I can endure anything. I have encountered so many things and I don’t want to do it. Is it okay?
"My dear little darling," he stretched out his arms and said softly. "I know you must be feeling very uncomfortable now, but you have to remember that everything that happened in the past was not your fault, it was just your brave courage to stand up.
Come on, you brothers have long been in disarray, so I have never even doubted your bravery. Even a seven-foot man may not be able to achieve this with your positive energy. So your brothers treat you like
Maintaining a very dead-set loyalty to the appointment.”
He quickly walked to me, hugged me suddenly, put his gentle cheek against mine, and gently stroked the hair on my back with one hand.
"Don't cry, my dear little darling, I hope you are brave and always maintain such a brave spirit. Even if you are tired, just lie down at home and have a good rest. Don't think about anything. The sky will not fall.
.When the sky falls, it will also fall on those who are weak and cowardly. Anyone who meets you will worry that they will be unlucky."
He hugged me tightly, making my breathing difficult. I only heard his very sincere and gentle voice:
"We will face it together." He was silent for a moment, then laughed softly.
"You will help me find her together, right?" When I think about Gui Fengqi going through these five long years, I don't know what will happen. Anything can happen in five years, anything indescribable.
Things. I never dared to believe that he would find peace in the five years he disappeared. Thinking of this, I couldn't help but tremble all over, although I was eager to control my emotions, because I knew
That Jintang I rely on most, why do I have so many things to deal with now?
My current mood is like that of being drunk and exhausted in the orphanage. Yes, Jintang’s shoulders are strong. I don’t need to rely on him. I feel the tranquility of the years in him.
Take it easy.
So, I straightened my shoulders. In front of him, I really didn't have any strong and armed face, no mania and anger, no inexplicable desire to raise and lower the knife with my hands, but only calm gentleness.
"We will find a way." Na Jintang said, his eyes firm at this time.
"Thank you. No matter what happens, you will stand by my side. No matter what I do, I will always get an understanding from you." I suddenly felt very tired, more tired than ever.
, the relief that his words made me feel is still liberating my soul, and the tight strings that I have been struggling to support have been relaxed.
Now I no longer feel sadness or regret, nor any fear or panic. I feel like I am sitting on a small boat, rocking slowly, naturally and relaxedly.
This wonderful picture made me feel vaguely happy for a while, and it allowed me to gain this kind of confidence, and some of the trauma and dark regrets in my soul were relieved a lot at once.
We just cuddled each other under the moonlight, and I simply stayed in his arms, remembering those hard and difficult years in the orphanage, and at the same time, I also missed the lovely sadness of my brothers: on that road
In the towering mountains, there are deep woods, and then you have my favorite river. On both sides of the river are fragrant wildflowers. Outside our wall is a mysterious grove. Inside the tree is our swing.
Our various so-called secrets are not known to the dean and the others. These are the secrets between our children. My name is engraved on that small tree, and Brother Gui’s name is also engraved on it. The green mountain remains the same.
Now, several times the sunset is red.
Seeing that I felt eager to return to the orphanage, I wanted to recall what it was like at that time, so that it could be engraved deep in my memory. At this time, I had a ridiculous idea: I wanted to go back to the orphanage to have a look.
Even if it is an abandoned place, I always feel that something mysterious is pulling me, making me unable to control myself and want to look at the old days that have passed.
I really thought of doing this, and even he was shocked. I felt my own strength, and I really wanted to go back to where I was before, to see and walk around.
Really, I want to express my thoughts to Na Jintang.
This is a door in my window. It was suddenly opened, and I heard Dr. John shouting loudly: