"Did Fox use Kung Fu just now? I want to learn, teach me. I admire Chinese Kung Fu the most, and I have never had the chance to find a real master. I think Fox's skills are extraordinary. He must be a master, master, master."
In Wu Li's pickup truck, Yali Shanda looked at Wu Li expectantly, hoping to get a firm answer.
"It's very easy to practice this kind of Kung Fu. Since you said you like Kung Fu, do you know about Ma Bu Zhan Zhuang?"
"I've practiced this before."
"Does Dantian know?"
"It's the little belly." Yali said, patting her belly.
"Please don't talk about your belly. Fox, can you go faster? I can't hold it in anymore." The fat man tightened his anus so tightly that the big one was almost coming out. He was really crazy.
.
"Who told you to have a barbecue and bring a taxi? You won't just find a barbecue stall nearby and just make do with you." Wu Li didn't have a good look at this fat guy, what the hell?
Why is a barbecue going so far away? I said I was going to Fatty's house for convenience, but I didn't expect that the pickup truck had already been driving for ten minutes, and it was almost there.
"There is no draft beer nearby, but the barbecue is not as tasty. Turn left at the intersection ahead and you will be there soon."
"I've convinced you, no wonder I've grown so fat."
"I am really fat. This is called muscle fat. Most of the fat is muscle."
"Brother Yali, do you know that Shenma is called muscle fat?" Wu Li was just enjoying himself. It would be better to have fun alone than with Brother Yali.
"Never mind the horse's fatness, the fox should teach me kung fu first." Brother Yalishan is really a guy who doesn't understand the charm.
"Uh, okay. It's really easy to practice Kung Fu. As long as Brother Yali insists on standing in the stance every day, his energy sinks to his Dantian, and then he splits the bench with his hands ten thousand times with the force of splitting a mountain. It won't take long, and you will be able to do it.
You can practice the legendary hard qigong iron palm, which is a hard bridge and a hard horse. It is simply too easy for me to split a magic horse on the bench with the palm of my hand today."
The fat man couldn't help but feel happy when he saw Brother Yalishan, who was sitting in the passenger seat, really kept gesticulating and talking about horse steps. He was so angry that his Dantian was filled with anger. The water taps were all loose and he almost urinated.
Already.
I quickly clamped my anus tight again. If my pants showed a map of the island country, it wouldn't matter if my pants were soiled in the car, but these two guys would definitely catch the opportunity and make them laugh.
"Fox, just try your best to deceive Brother Yali. You have a hard qigong iron palm. I think this is just a bull's palm. Anyone with a sinking qi in the Dantian can practice hard qigong. You really dare to talk nonsense."
It’s coming.”
"Martial arts is such a broad and profound thing that there is no reason to explain it. Maybe Brother Yalishan is talented and is suitable for such simple and easy-to-learn kung fu. You see, with his two ears right now
Despite his obsession with not listening to what is going on outside the window, I am optimistic that he will achieve great success one day."
"I have mastered the art of returning magic. I think it is more likely that I have become obsessed with it and lost my breath. Turn right ahead into Lianhua Community and we will finally reach home." The fat man felt like he was about to explode. He had known that he would have solved it on the roadside.
That's good. We're almost home now. If we urinate anywhere and get hit by a mature Meimei, we won't be able to live anymore.
"Hey, it doesn't matter what a foreigner you are, as long as you don't practice like that, fat guy, you can do it. Turn left or right when entering the community?"
"I practiced as you said. I am just a second-hand person. I always turn right when I see an intersection. When I get there, I will say stop. Tell me, how did you develop this hard kung fu? You can teach me seriously, buddy. I want to
With my physical strength and natural talents, it is not easy to master the art of Qigong, as long as I master it." In addition to being sullen and coquettish, Fatty is also a narcissistic maniac.
"What kind of bullshit hard qigong is this? I'm really gifted and born with brute strength. I can't train it at all. Look at this dark palm, it's so tender that water is dripping from it. It looks like it's been beaten by kung fu."
It’s hard for your hands to endure”
"Tsk, you people in the martial arts world always like to hide your weaknesses and save your talents. It's obviously because you have practiced superb internal martial arts that you have this phenomenon of returning to your true nature. Your strength has become your true energy and inner strength.
It’s in the Dantian and muscle cells, right?”
"How come no one believes me when I tell you the truth when I give you a ball of wool? Do you really believe that I am a hermit?"
"When we get there, I'll get off the car first. My house is on the fourth floor. If the door is open, just come in on the right side. Brother, go up and pee first."
As soon as the pickup truck found a good spot and parked, the fat man immediately opened the door and jumped into the escalator of a building like a rabbit chased by a vicious dog.
"Brother Yali, I went to the fat man's house to let the water go." Wu Li pushed Brother Yalishan who was mumbling something. With this guy's energy, he might be able to figure out a trick.
I heard that there used to be a magic whip who was trained by shaking his long braids every day. Wasn't Guo Jing also trained by Jiang Zi? Although they are all characters in weapons, everything is possible.
"We're here so soon? When you told me to release the water, I really couldn't help but panic. Hurry, hurry up, where is Fatty's house? Don't wait for us to lead the way."
The foreign devil was so obsessed with emotions just now that he couldn't hear what was going on outside the window.
Wu Li took Brother Yali up to the fourth floor. There were two pairs of large slippers at the open door of the right unit.
I didn’t expect that Fatty had a very delicate heart.
The house is old, and the decoration is a bit out of date. It's just painted a layer of white.
However, the owner is quite particular about making reasonable use of space and being simple but not simple.
This is Wu Li's evaluation of the layout of this house.
Of course, the fat man must not have such taste because of his boredom. It must be the male and female parents in the family photo, plus the contribution of the naughty little girl. The atmosphere and delicate warmth are the style of the two parents, that is for sure, and there are some small furnishings.
The little naughtiness added by the placement made Wu Li even to death not believe that a fat man could do such a job that only a little girl could do.
"No, my leg has finally collapsed. Whoever is in a hurry will go first. Fat brother will make you a pot of tea." The fat man deliberately blew a small whistle and went to the kitchen to boil water.
The eldest brother Yalishan was so anxious that he pushed Wu Li to the side regardless of whether Wu Li had the time or not, and rushed half of his body into the bathroom before he collapsed.
"No, you're a bear. Do you still think of me as a master in your eyes, Yali Mountain? Why don't you let me go for a while and I won't suffocate you girl to death."
"Between peeing my pants and respecting my teacher, it is more practical for me not to pee on my pants. Besides, what you teach is nonsense. I thought about it for a long time, and the more I thought about it, the more wrong it became. Press you
If you teach me, you will not become a fool, but you will also become a brainless person." Brother Yali seemed to have become normal after shushing him, and he immediately criticized the so-called Iron Hand Kung Fu Wu Li taught him in the bathroom.
Come.
"Hey, brother Yali, just understand. There is no such thing as kung fu in this world anymore. The kung fu in the movies you see can no longer be called kung fu. Apart from computer stunts, there are only wedge fists to show off your legs.
It's a routine. It's more practical, and it's more appropriate to call it a physical fitness technique."
"There is some truth in what Fox said. I watched a martial arts competition on Tianchao Taiwan last week and it made me sick to my stomach. It was all about Shenma and Shenma doing a few tricks to show off their elephants, but they were not elephants on the stage.
A program like shoving someone like a shrew, or even hugging each other like a villager to compete with brute force can be blatantly broadcast live in front of more than a billion people. A certain small group of people in your country really dare to do this to you.
The quintessence of China is in the dark. Really, a competition of this level, compared with boxing and free fighting competitions, is basically just for eating people's shit. It can't even be compared with show-off programs like American free wrestling.
Well, I think it’s better to let the idiots above go to sleep. Even the beauty of the competition routine is more valuable than this kind of brutal fighting between villagers."
"I'm sorry, you can't stop releasing foreign urine, right? Hurry up and shake it out. Brother, I can't hold it in anymore." Wu Li didn't want to waste his saliva on those idiots from Tianchaoneng.
, those idiots are selling advertisements to make money, and they don’t dare to fix the smoking beak.
Some people laugh at themselves and say: Don’t interrupt TV series during commercial breaks.
Let's hold a bullshit martial arts conference. This beak can put a lot of advertisements in it. Anyway, the martial arts conference is just a plug-in. It doesn't matter whether it looks good or not. The important thing is to ensure that the advertisement is exciting and eye-catching.
alright.
There is absolutely no need to discuss such a profound philosophy with a fake Chinese devil.
What Wu Li hates most is doing such thankless and wasteful things.
Wu Li and Yali had just finished urinating and washed their hands, and the fat man had already boiled water to make tea.
"The old man's collection is something that most people wouldn't be willing to take out and brew. You two, stop wandering around and come over first to have a cup of tea made by my brother." It seemed that the fat man regarded Wu Li and Yali as extraordinary people.
"Fat man, it looks like you are at home alone."
"The whole family left me alone at home and went to Lushan Mountain to escape the summer heat. These three guys won't go home before school starts." The fat man said it with a very resentful look, but it doesn't matter whether it's true or not.
With an expression on his face, he didn’t really care whether his family was at home or traveling.
Yes, he is already a grown man, and he cannot starve to death without anyone to take care of him.
"Is your lord a glorious people's teacher?"
"Besides me, three of the four members of the family are honorable people's teachers. Damn, if I knew how to teach students, I would be a people's teacher and I would have six months' leave in total throughout the year.
.”
"You can become a nerd despite the example of your parents, which shows that you are not made for teaching at all."
"Who says it's not right? By the way, my parents and my sister are away from home these days. No one can cook for my brother and me. I'm almost turning into an instant noodle prince. I don't even live together anymore. Is there any fox family?
Is there a network cable?" The fat man suddenly changed the topic and seemed to have something to say.
"The network cable was just torn. Fatty, don't you want to change your home to my house?"
"I really got what you said. You won't be unwelcome, right? I've brought Lao Gui Lao Gui's tea to entertain you, brother. You won't be so disrespectful to me, right?"
ps: The old farmer insisted on begging, but he still didn’t believe that he couldn’t be exploded.