When Wen Shichu came again, I went to mow the grass and didn't meet him. When I came back, the setting sun was all over the courtyard, and I saw Huanbi and Jinxi looking at each other, standing at the table with embarrassed faces.
Huanbi came up to me and helped me brush off the weeds on my body. I wondered: "Why are you standing there like this?"
Jinxi glanced at Huanbi and moved her lips. After all, she still didn't say anything. Huanbi did, "Master Wen is here, and this time he brought something."
As for what to give, she didn't say anything, she just pouted and asked me to look at the table.
I straightened my clothes slightly, and after just one glance, I was stunned. On the old table, there was a finely crafted white jade pot, exquisite and clear, as thin as paper, and just about the size of the palm of my hand. It was very delicate and cute.
At that time, the slanting rays of light shone like gold from the window panes, shining on the jade pot, making the light infinitely bright and translucent.
I was confused for a moment and said, "Why did he give such a valuable thing?"
Huanbi sighed and said helplessly: "Miss, you will know after you open it and take a look."
I followed the instructions and opened it, and couldn't help but gasp. There was nothing else in the pot, only a few slices of sliced pears, cut into heart shapes, and the color was pure and pure.
I was shocked, and there was a loud bang in my head, he actually meant this.
Huanbi twisted her belt, biting her lip and looking at me. Jinxi looked complicated, standing beside me and said softly: "A heart of ice is in a jade pot. How should I respond to Mr. Wen's thoughts?"
My chest felt hot, my breath almost surged into my throat, and I slapped my palm on the table. The table was old and worn, and even though I was not very strong, I was shaken so hard that I jumped.
Huanbi was startled and hurriedly looked at my hand and advised: "Miss, please be careful if your hand hurts."
Jinxi looked at me and said warmly to Huanbi, "My wife is not feeling well, so it is inevitable that she will be angry."
Although Jinxi was speaking to Huanbi, I didn't understand the deep meaning behind her words, so I softened her tone, smiled and said, "I was too impatient. Now that I'm here, I'm not as calm as before."
Jin Xi then brought up a cup of tea and said gently: "If Madam is willing, I can accept it. But the slave girl looks at Madam and it is true that she is not willing. Mr. Wen is too reckless to come here."
Huanbi said from the side: "No wonder the young lady is angry. The young lady is practicing, how can she tolerate such things? And he should have always understood what the young lady has done to him over the years."
I hugged my knees and sat down in despair, and said: "Why is he always so confused and so inappropriate? I rejected his affection for me before entering the palace. I didn't want it before, and I won't want it now. I just don't want it anymore."
He is regarded as a brother and an old friend, why doesn’t he always understand?”
Huanbi was also worried and said: "It's hard to reject him directly now. Emperor Yue and Shen Jieyu in the palace cannot do without his care. We are already alone and we will lose our wings again."
Huh? Miss, you have to think about it carefully." She thought for a moment and then said: "Master Wen actually takes care of us a lot."
I just tilted my head and said calmly: "He does take good care of me, but I really don't like him."
Jin Xi just stood with her hands down, showing no expression, "Master Wen's affection is quite touching. Such a man is indeed rare."
I didn't want Jinxi to say this, so I couldn't help but look back at her. Huanbi was also slightly startled.
The three of them just didn't speak and had their own thoughts.
Huanbi walked up to me, leaned against me on the bedside, with a sad and gentle look on her face, and whispered softly: "Actually, if you think about it, Mr. Wen and Miss Wen have known each other since childhood, so their relationship with Miss Wen is naturally different. Miss Wen that day
Before entering the palace for the draft, Mr. Wen personally came to express his love for the young lady for many years and expressed his willingness to marry her. The young lady was very high-spirited, so naturally her eyes would not linger on Mr. Wen. But now things have changed, and the young lady has experienced many years of turmoil in the palace. The emperor
Love has been understood to be unreliable, so now that there is someone who is willing to treat you sincerely, and we know each other well, why don’t you make another plan? It’s okay to think about it for a few more years, and there is no need to reject him outright.
Ah." Seeing that I just hugged my knees silently, she lowered her voice and persuaded: "Although Mr. Wen is impatient and doesn't pick the right time, his love for the lady has been the same for many years. Moreover, he knows a lot about medicine and has some wealth.
, If you want to help the young lady overtly or covertly, or help the young lady leave the place of right and wrong, it is not a very difficult thing."
I may not be able to listen to her advice. And life here is indeed hard and difficult.
I just asked: "What else did he say when he came?"
Jinxi's words were cold and clear: "Master Wen said he would come back to visit us in three days."
The desolate grass in the distance, the hidden mountains in the distance, the faint red clouds, the wind as soft as nothing, with a touch of cold touch on the face. There is really no way to hide the troubles in this world.
The sky gradually darkened, as if countless crows' wings were covering the sky densely, and it became dark one after another. I just felt tired and bored, so I closed my eyes and said lightly: "You go out, I will think about it myself."
Just think about it.”
During these three days, I just acted as usual and didn't mention anything about the jade pot.
I carefully placed the jade pot in the pillowcase and wiped it carefully with a fine cloth every day. Seeing me like this, Huanbi always locked eyes with Jinxi and smiled, and Jinxi only responded with a light and polite smile.
A smile.
In the afternoon three days later, I deliberately didn't go out to do anything, I just sent Huanbi out.
Wen Shichu came as he was told. The room had already been cleaned and the windows were clean. A bouquet of newly bloomed pear blossoms were blooming in a vase, like jade trees piled with snow. The refreshing and sweet smell made people feel particularly warm.
I had already asked Jinxi to make tea, and I just sat there quietly waiting for him to come.
Wen Shichu smiled before he entered the door, "Sister Huan looks very good today, and her face is much rosier."
Perhaps my good looks infected him, and his original uneasiness calmed down a little. He sat down and drank tea with me and talked slowly. After chatting about some household gossip, I carefully took out the jade pot and put it away.
between me and him.
The jade pot was indeed very beautiful and exquisite. I said warmly: "If I remember correctly, brother Shichu is already twenty-five years old."
His joy was revealed by my memory. His brows were light and gentle, and he smiled and said, "Sister Huan has the best memory. I am indeed twenty-five years old."
I half sighed, half sighed, "At the age of twenty-five, in an ordinary family, you would probably have a group of wives and concubines, and a couple of children. Uncle Wen must have been worried about your marriage a few years ago."
He stopped talking and just smiled and said: "If it weren't for marrying the one you love, I would rather not marry you at first."
I nodded and said, "Brother Shichu is right. Marry a wife with virtue, and a concubine with sex. But no matter the wife or concubine, you must like it. Otherwise, it will not only be difficult to be a couple in this life, but also very boring. So Shichu
Brother, just be later."
Wen Shichu was a little embarrassed, but he took it for granted and said: "I am just a member of an ordinary official family. It doesn't matter if I come later. I am no more noble than a king. Marriage affects the world and is closely related to the country. I will get married at the age of thirteen or fourteen. Let's talk about the palace.
Among them, the Qinghe King is already twenty-three years old. He doesn’t want to marry his concubine, and even the Queen Mother can’t do anything about him..."
Before he finished speaking, I already felt my heart piercing. When he saw that I looked slightly sad, knowing that the emperor had said something I didn’t like to hear, he couldn’t help but look ashamed and said hurriedly: “I didn’t mean to do it.”
I just didn't realize it and said with a smile: "King Qinghe has a very high vision. I don't know what kind of woman is worthy of him. It's interesting to think about it."
Seeing that I was fine, he was a little relieved and remained silent for a while. I opened my lips and said, "Brother Shichu, do you still remember the first time you saw me?"
His expression calmed down gently, "Why don't you remember? I will always remember that you were only ten years old at that time. Brother Zhen secretly took you boating on the lake with Master on his back after school. It happened to be that day when I was running a horse race.
When I came out, I saw you standing on the bow of the boat with your hair combed and your arms full of lotus pods, singing a song. Later, when you saw me, you were not afraid of life and even peeled lotus seeds for me to eat."
I smiled slightly. Looking back now, the interesting things in my childhood are particularly precious and beautiful. How could I have known or expected those carefree years that the road ahead would be so difficult and difficult?
When you reach the point where you have nowhere to go, you have to continue to struggle and move forward.
Because the sweetness in the past makes the journey of life later as bitter as a lotus heart, and one has to be swallowed alive...
I sang in a low voice: "Ask the lotus root, how many threads are there? Who is suffering from the lotus heart? The two flowers asked each other,..." But I forgot the lyrics and couldn't sing anymore, so I had to laugh and said: "I really can't remember.
Already."
Wen Shichu said: "The next sentence is also the last sentence - just children from the old days."
I caressed my cheek sheepishly and said with a faint smile: "No wonder I forgot..." I lowered my voice, with a little helplessness in my words, and said sadly: "We are no longer the children of the old days, and the songs of the old days are all gone."
Forget it." I changed my look, pushed the jade pot in front of him, and said solemnly: "A piece of ice is in the jade pot. Zhen Huan feels ashamed that she cannot bear such heavy affection, please take it back."
Wen Shichu's expression changed, and he hurriedly concealed it, took a sip of tea to calm down, and said slowly: "This jade pot is a family heirloom. My father once told me that I must give it to the one I love. I didn't have the chance to give it to you before. Now.
I sincerely beg you to accept this jade pot."
I shook my head and said warmly: "This jade pot is so precious, you should give it to your beloved. Unfortunately, brother Shichu, you are not my beloved, so I can't bear this jade pot, even if you force me to accept it."
"Look, for this jade pot, it has been let down."
Wen Shichu was speechless, and his expression was frozen, like the green leaves wrapped in the first autumn frost, frustrated and dejected, "Sister Huan, you always refuse to accept me. It was before and it is still now."
I thought about it and said, "Brother Shichu, with all due respect, you always remember things from your childhood. Perhaps what you like in your heart is just the innocent and gentle me before entering the palace, not the me now. Now.
I am so different from before, so why do you have to obsess over this?"
He suddenly raised his head, with a burning light burning in his eyes. He leaned forward hastily and said in a hoarse voice: "Sister Huan, I must tell you that my feelings for you have always been the same." His voice said.
He lowered his voice slightly, but remained sincere, "Not only in the palace but also outside."
I listened quietly to what he said, and suddenly smiled silently. My smile was so peaceful, and there was an almost indifferent and invisible sense of confidence and desolation in the tranquility, as if the first layer of frost in winter fell silently, pale and blank.
"Do you still remember Cao Qinmo?" I asked suddenly.
"Yes." Wen Shichu's expression suddenly darkened, and he lowered his hands, "Of course I remember." He murmured, "How could you not remember?"
I slowly closed my eyes and said quietly: "Yes! The former Concubine Xiang, the biological mother of Emperor Wen Yi, was named Concubine Xiang." I suddenly opened my eyes and said sharply: "How did Concubine Xiang die that day?
, you and I both know it clearly in our hearts!”
Wen Shichu looked gloomy, and the cold sweat on his forehead was squeezed out layer by layer, like cold rain on the river, making it cold. For a moment, he sighed as if to comfort himself: "I have always been worried about this matter, and when I think about it,
It is my fault that I am always restless day and night. Fortunately, Emperor Wen Yi is now being taken care of by Concubine Duan, and Concubine Xiang is quite prosperous after her death. I feel a little more at ease. All I can do now is
Trying my best to take care of Emperor Wen Yi's body can be considered as a small atonement..."
I interrupted him coldly, "That's not what I want to say. You and I grew up together and experienced many things together in the palace. You are very clear about my good and bad qualities. Even Cao Xiang
You were unwilling to commit the death of my concubine, and I’m afraid you are also blaming me in your heart... right?"
He was speechless and speechless for a moment. He could only say in a daze: "This...I..."
I frowned slightly and said quietly: "Once Murong Shilan died, Cao Qinmo was the only one I had to deal with. But she was such a cautious person, and it was almost impossible to create a chance for her to slip and drown or be accidentally killed.
Fabricating a charge against her will only make her retort and plot to kill me. Since the assassination cannot be successful, the only way is to drug her. You have always been known as a kind person in Taiyuan Hospital, have excellent medical skills, and are willing to show mercy to the weak and the poor, so she is willing to do so.
Don't worry. Besides, the medicine we gave her only suppressed her mind, made her nightmares worse, weakened her heart and mind, and then silently killed her." I looked at him and said, "I can't help you either.
Already."
Wen Shichu looked at me deeply and said, "I am always willing to do it for you."
I was quite moved, nodded slightly and said: "You have always been kind-hearted, and you were never willing to kill someone. You hesitated for a long time at the beginning. If it wasn't to help me, how could you have done it... Thinking about it now, I also feel that it was too much at that time.
I'm very considerate. It's just that people are in their position. If you don't kill people, they will kill you. Concubine Xiang is such a smart and shrewd person. She knows a lot of things about me. I will never tolerate her."
Wen Shichu pursed his lips slightly, with a bit of determination. He was actually a good-looking man, steady and loyal. He comforted softly: "Sister Huan, you are always kind, but that time you were a little too cruel.
.”
"Really? Then killing Mrs. Yu and Concubine Hua, wouldn't I be considered ruthless?" I softened my tone and said softly: "Whether I am kind or ruthless, you can see it. We are like this
Being familiar and knowing each other can be considered close. But when it comes to the relationship between a man and a woman, who doesn't want to show him only the best and hide all the bad. But you know too many secrets about me.
Well, if I am with you, I will only feel uncomfortable. You may not forget my shortcomings. What good is it if we face each other like this day and night? Why make things difficult for each other like this."
Wen Shichu was greatly shocked. He lowered his head and his eyebrows were curled up like silkworms. He grasped his left hand tightly with his right hand, and there were blood-red marks appearing. He restrained himself and said: "I am a small imperial doctor, but in your eyes, I always
It’s not good, he’s always a useless person.”
I said softly: "Of course I know how good you are. If you are an imperial physician, you are young and promising, have excellent medical skills, and are highly valued by the emperor; if you are a husband, you will definitely be a good husband who cherishes his wife and takes care of her in every possible way.
.Unfortunately, Brother Shichu, for example, when drinking tea, I like to drink the flavor of "Snow Top with Green Green", but no matter how good or delicious Pu'er is, I just don't like it. Can we say that Pu'er is not good? It's just that everyone has different preferences.
"
He murmured to himself, "You mean, I am that cup of Pu'er in your heart."
I said in a low voice: "Brother Shichu, you are very good, but it is a pity that I am not blessed and cannot like you." I held the jade pot and said: "A heart of ice is in the jade pot. This friendship, I
I can't bear it anymore. But when relatives and friends in Luoyang ask each other, a heart of ice is in a jade pot, but I understand it with all my heart. I will always regard you as a relative and a friend in my heart, and I will always do so."
His lips had an unfull arc that was caused by enduring pain, and contained sadness and a bit of tenderness: "See me as a relative and a friend? Unfortunately, this is not what I want."
I also responded sadly, "Brother Shichu, how can we really get what we want in this world? I have been struggling in the palace for many years, just trying to get some sincerity and two peaces, but even this can't be achieved
Yes, but ended up where we are today."
Seeing that I was sad, he advised me: "Although we have reached this stage, the greatest luck among misfortunes is that you are now free after leaving the palace."
I was so sad that I felt like I was being held tightly by a hand, but I didn't want to cry in front of Wen Shichu. I tried my best to endure it and said: "Although I have left the harem, the place of disputes, I can't forget the suffering that my father and brother suffered. My sisters and
The daughters are all in the palace, and the current Ninth Five Supreme Being is their husband, father and master. Even if I am a free person outside the palace, how can I forget the things of those years? I will never forget them in my life.
Then even if my body is free, my heart will not be free and I will suffer every day."
He wanted to comfort me, so he reached out, but I quickly retracted my hand. His expression was slightly embarrassed, so I hurriedly covered it up and said, "Sister Huan, don't be sad."
I turned my head away and tried my best to hold back the tears that were about to fall in my eyes, "Your Majesty has treated me over the past few years...Brother Shichu, I am not afraid to tell you that I have given up on the relationship between men and women. So what do you say to me?
It's all useless. Now, no matter how hard it is, I just want to live well in Ganlu Temple and recite scriptures to calm my mind." I composed myself and said, "I know you have a way to get me out of here.
, but where can I go if I leave here? My father and brother are far away in the north of Sichuan and the south of Lingnan. The world is so big that I have nowhere to go. So brother Shichu, for my own good and for your own good, don’t do it too often.
Come visit me."
Wen Shichu was speechless for a long time and said, "Can't I even come to see you often?"
I nodded slightly, "You come here a lot, I'm afraid the palace will know about it. I don't know how many troubles will arise. Why bother?"
He closed his eyes hard, took a moment, took a breath slowly, and said, "Are you afraid of injuring Shen Jieyu and Longyue Emperor Ji?"
I nodded vigorously: "To be honest, they are the only people I can care about and care about." I looked at him closely, "You once promised me that you would take good care of them and do your best. Then
You can't do anything for anyone that may hurt them. This is what you promised me personally. Brother Shichu, since you are good to me, do you keep what you said to me?"
He was speechless, and after a while his expression turned solemn, and he said: "I promise you, I will count on it." My heart slowly relaxed, and I breathed out secretly.
The melancholy and disappointment in his eyes were as thick as the heavy fog in early winter, and he was confused and clouded around his eyebrows. He whispered sadly and expected: "Actually, you can tell me to wait for you for a few years, and wait slowly like this.
It doesn't matter for a lifetime, why do you have to reject me like this, be so cruel and decisive, and not let me have a little hope?"
The sadness in his words infected my mood. I was stunned for a moment, feeling sad in my heart, but I refused to show it on my face. I only said quietly: "If I give you vain hope, I will only make you wait in vain."
.Brother Shichu, you know that I never say anything against my will. If I lie to you and delay you, I won't be able to feel at ease myself."
He was in a daze for a long time. The clear skylight outside the window fell on him, as if it was shining on an eternally dark corner. It could not illuminate it no matter what. Although he was disappointed, he tried his best to calm down and said: "Do you still remember?
When we first met, you peeled a lot of lotus seeds for me to eat. You were still young at that time and didn't know that you had to pick out the lotus heart when eating lotus seeds. It was really bitter for me to eat them one by one, and it was so bitter that I couldn't swallow them.
.But because you stripped it to me, I will eat it no matter how bitter it is. I will eat it happily and only feel sweet. So as long as it is your decision today, no matter how sad or difficult to accept, I will accept it and respect your wishes.
.”
I felt relieved, and I softened my tone and said, "You always feel sorry for me working hard here. But if I stay with someone I don't like in order to avoid having a hard life, that's not the kind of person I am."
One thing, brother Shichu must have understood a long time ago. Therefore, if you treat me as well as you treat my beloved, it will only be a waste of emotion and make me embarrassed. So in this life, I will respect you as a brother and a friend to repay you.
You treat me so well." I said it as softly as spring breeze, but he knew the weight of the words. I was so polite to him, but it didn't give him any hope.
He was speechless for a long time, only nodded, stood up and left, saying with a bitter smile: "Sister Huan, you always tell me that there is nothing I can do to you. But since you have made it so clear today, I... will never call you again
It’s embarrassing.”
I put the jade pot in front of him, carefully rewrapped it for him, and said gently: "Put it away carefully. I will definitely give it to a woman who loves you the same in the future. Don't show it to others easily again."
He stared blankly at the jade pot and could not reach out his hand. He sighed and said melancholy: "If you are not willing to accept it, who else will I give it to?"
I couldn't bear it in my heart, but it only took a moment, and my heart hardened again. If I had softened my heart for a moment, I would only have endless troubles for him and me in the future. So I still smiled on my face and said:
"These words sound like you are angry with me."
I pushed again. After all, he had no choice but to turn his face and said, "How can I bear to be angry with you?" His hands were trembling slightly. For a moment, he closed his eyes tightly and held the jade pot in his arms.
, strode away.
He walked outside the door and looked back three times. The nostalgia and pain in his eyes were so heart-wrenching. I almost didn't dare to raise my head to look into his eyes. I just smiled as usual. The nostalgia and reluctance in his eyes were like the last touch on the horizon.
The setting sun finally sunk in despair little by little, leaving only infinite pain, like the endless night, so dark that it makes people sink.
I lowered my head for a moment, and all I could say was a long sigh.