Jinxi came in with the clothes she had just put away, and saw that I was just sitting there, silent, half sitting in front of the bed, folding the clothes carefully, with skillful and neat gestures. www.
After finishing cleaning up in a moment, she sighed and said, "The way Mr. Wen went out just now made others sad to see him."
I sat down and said quietly, "Have many people seen it?"
She nodded lightly, "Mr. Wen is too sad, as if he has lost his soul. How can he hide his face? It is the time for evening classes at this time, and people are coming and going."
I gave a soft "hmm" and fell silent again. The room was dark, and the candle flames danced and danced, making my eyes sore. I changed an oil lamp and lit it, and the light was faint and dim, like misty eyes.
As usual, I spread out the scriptures and read them word by word in silence. Jinxi listened for a while and then said gently: "Listening to my lady reading the scriptures today, I am not as preoccupied as the previous two days."
I smiled faintly and said: "If I can convince him, it's a worry for me. Otherwise, the meeting will be awkward, and I don't want to."
Jin Xi was silent, and then said: "If Madam Wen talks about Mr. Wen's temper in a hurry, I'm afraid it will hurt his heart too much, and also hurt the friendship we have known for many years. After all, Mr. Wen is very affectionate towards Madam, and we all see it.
In the future, Emperor Longyue and Shen Jieyu will also need him to take care of them in the palace; but if you say it too softly, I'm afraid he won't listen to the advice, so you have to keep this intention there, anyway.
It’s not good for anyone. In short, it takes a lot of effort to persuade him.”
I closed the book and smiled: "What you are saying is that I am grateful for his kindness over the years. In order to make it easier for him to accept it, I racked my brains to think of old things from many years ago."
Jin Xi also smiled, "I saw the lady sitting blankly the past two days. Huanbi thought that the lady would agree to Master Wen."
I laughed it off and said, "How could that be? If I had agreed, I would never have entered the palace before. Although things have changed over time, human nature will not change."
Jin Xi said: "Master Wen is indeed not the best candidate for my wife. Because..." Jin Xi smiled and said, "His affection is always inappropriate."
"Untimely?" I thought about it carefully and laughed. "One time before entering the palace, after I confirmed that I was a candidate for the draft, he came to me and told me not to go to the draft because he wanted to propose marriage; and the other two times
It is even more impossible in the palace; and now..." I felt sad in my heart, "How can I think about these things in my current state of mind?"
Jin Xi understood, "So Lord Wen, it's better not to say anything. Both of us have room to meet and talk. He doesn't understand that if the lady really liked him, she wouldn't have been sent to the draft that day, and she would have been engaged to him long ago."
I raised my sleeves and said to her: "Then you still said that you had a gentle and touching first love for me, which is very rare."
Jinxi meekly lowered her eyes and smiled slightly, "I'm just telling the truth. But both the lady and the servant understand very well that being moved is natural and has nothing to do with feelings. If the lady doesn't like it, she just doesn't like it, and she won't do it just to be moved.
Force yourself."
I asked: "Where is Huanbi?"
"Knowing that Mr. Wen was coming in the afternoon, he found an excuse to go out just like the slaves."
I raised my eyebrows and said, "That girl seems to have thought wrong this time. She may have thought that I would agree to Wen Shichu's request."
Jin Xi's smile was warm and down-to-earth, "I know that I will never agree to Master Wen's wishes. Falling flowers are intentional, and flowing water is ruthless. What's more important is that if you twist your mind to avoid temporary hardship, you will not be the Zhen Xi has always known."
Madam." Her eyes were clear and clear, "My lady's persistence and cherishment of affection are the most valuable thing about me."
I looked at each other and smiled, "If you say you understand me, it's you Jin Xi."
Before he finished speaking, Huanbi had already walked in. Seeing that only Jin Xi and I were there, he asked curiously: "Has Mr. Wen left? What did the young lady say to him?"
Jin Xi and I looked at each other and both smiled knowingly.
A few days later I went to wash clothes again, and the gossip I heard had been greatly reduced. On this day, taking advantage of the warm weather at noon, I carried a large basket of clothes and went to the stream to wash clothes. I spoke frankly and clearly to Wen Shichu,
I also breathed a huge sigh of relief. It was as if a huge boulder had been lifted from my heart.
When we arrived at the stream, we could hear the gurgling water and the sound of splashing water, but Mo Yan was the only one there.
When she saw me coming alone, she glanced at me and said calmly: "You seem to be in a good mood today."
I caressed my cheek unconsciously and said with a smile, "Really? I don't really feel that way."
She said "Yeah", took off her shoes and socks with both hands, and jumped into the stream. I exclaimed: "Is it cold? Come up quickly, you can't stand in the cold water."
Mo Yan laughed loudly and said, "What are you afraid of? This is not against the temple rules." He stretched out his hand to pull me, "Come on, come on, you can come down too, you can cool off!"
I kept laughing, but in the end I was weak and was pulled down by her. The cool water of the stream touched my skin, as if a small fish was pecked gently by its mouth, itching and making me feel relaxed and happy. After all, it was still spring, the coolness was
After a while, they couldn't bear it any longer, so they laughed and held hands and jumped ashore again.
She patted her clothes and said with a half-smile, "The imperial doctor in the palace hasn't been here for several days, but you have nothing to worry about."
I smiled and said calmly: "My worries are not for him."
She didn't even raise her head, and just said one sentence neatly, "I see how you deal with him because of your worries. If he doesn't come, you don't have to deal with him, and you will naturally have nothing to worry about."
Hearing her cheerful words, I couldn't help but smile, admitting it. So I casually spread out my clothes, sprinkled a handful of soap powder on it, and concentrated on scrubbing.
Mo Yan has always been a loner among the nuns in the temple. She does not fit in with the group and has a fierce look. Therefore, the nuns in the temple never dare to embarrass her, let alone ask her to do any heavy work. So Mo Yan only needs to look after her.
Just be good to yourself.
So, she quickly finished washing the clothes she had on hand, but she didn't leave. She took the clothes in my basket, placed them on the big stone, and hit them with her stick. Her gestures were very skillful, and she hit the clothes.
The force is neither light nor heavy, nor does it cause splashing, like a housewife who is used to doing her job.
I ignored it and saw the clear water of the stream as transparent as a green belt, softly swaying across the river, jumping lightly and flowing over the green grass beside the stream, and I felt a lot more relaxed.
After facing each other in silence, she suddenly lowered her head and muttered: "You are fine."
I couldn't understand it for a moment and blurted out: "What?"
She stopped what she was doing, looked at me, and said, "You don't like the doctor, that's fine."
I couldn't help but laugh, "How can I say such a thing?"
She was lost in thought for a moment, her eyes turned cold and violent for a moment, and she forced out a few words from between her lips and teeth, as if spitting out a mouthful of disgusting phlegm, spitting it out in disgust, and threw it away with a loud voice, "
Smelly men are not good things!"
I said "Huh?" but I didn't dare to laugh, and I didn't know how to respond.
Mo Yan said straightforwardly: "Just like that imperial doctor, he doesn't have the same feelings for you as a master who has fallen out of favor. You know it yourself. Men, when they don't get you, they always try their best to rely on you to please you. Once
Got it, throwing you away is like throwing away a worn-out shoe. I still remember how much care I put into you and how much effort I put into you, but I have forgotten all about it." She finished speaking in one breath, speaking too hastily, huffing and puffing.
Breathing heavily.
I was silent, running my fingers across the cool stream, and the coolness penetrated my skin and penetrated into my heart. I looked at her steadily, and said in a questioning tone, "You..."
She clapped her hands and looked up at the bright and golden sunshine. The strong light forced her to squint her eyes slightly. Her voice was a faint thread, like a sharp needle, shining with a narrow and cold sheen.
Slowly approaching: "I'm not afraid to tell you that I became a monk halfway."
I nodded, "I know that if I had become a monk at a young age, I would not be so out of place, nor would I be so impatient."
She raised her eyebrows and said loudly: "Yes. I have been married and given birth to children before I came to this Ganlu Temple to become a monk and practice." Mo Yan looked at the stream in trance, occasionally picking at the moss in the cracks of the rocks, which was so green and dark.
The color is like her state of mind at the moment, "I have an impatient and rude temper, but who is not a good daughter when she is young and unmarried, my temper is gentle, quiet and shy. It's just that after getting married, I am exhausted mentally and physically. It would be bad if I meet my husband."
, the husband’s family is very harsh, and I’m afraid that even the most beautiful daughter’s family will be turned into fish eyes.”
In fact, if you look closely at Mo Yan's face, it's not ugly. Even though the years and the anger in the corners of her eyes can no longer be concealed, the soft curve of her jaw still has a different kind of charm. It's conceivable that if the time goes back twenty years, her appearance will be different.
Her appearance is also very delicate and pleasant, and I think she has been admired by many men.
"Then why did you become a monk?"
Mo Yan said without hesitation: "I married the wrong person! He and I are the right match. We both come from ordinary farming families and live in neighboring villages. We have known each other since childhood. Before marrying him, he treated me well, and I know how to spin yarn."
My craftsmanship could help with the housework, so he happily married me back. Later, when I got older, I gave birth to two daughters in succession. The stinky man disliked me for not being able to give him a son to carry on the family line, and he couldn't afford to raise two more.
As soon as my daughter was born, she was drowned alive. I was so angry and sad that I argued with him for a few words, and he wanted to kick me out. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law not only refused to persuade me, but also fanned the flames and sow discord, saying
I wanted to find him a new wife who was young and capable of having children. I took my eldest daughter out in anger, without even asking for a divorce letter. A woman who cannot give birth to a son has already been laughed at and despised, and she has no ability.
, I can only drag my daughter to the temple to ask for a bite of food."
After she finished speaking, there was a little tear in the corner of her eyes. However, her tone was calm and distant, and even her own anger and unwillingness were faint and traceless. Such calmness must have been heartbreaking. I heard that my heart was beating with fear.
How cruel it is for a man to drown his newborn daughter with his own hands! I was also sad in my heart, so I tried to persuade him: "Don't be sad..."
Mo Yan raised his head vigorously, quickly wiped away the tears from the corners of his eyes, cut off my words, and spat scornfully: "Bah! Does a stinky man deserve to make me sad? Let's live out his spring and autumn dreams."
I feel sad, but also a little happy. Mo Yan gave birth to two daughters who were rejected by her husband's family and kicked out. But I am glad that my Haoyue is lucky to be a daughter, so she can survive peacefully in the palace and avoid the open fire of many people.
Hidden arrow. But if I were still in the palace, I would still be my concubine and enjoy my wealth. I am afraid that I would also secretly regret that my Haoyue is a daughter.
I secretly suppressed my emotions, remembered something, and asked: "You said your daughter followed you out?"
Mo Yan said "hmm" and sneered: "What kind of good place do you think Ganlu Temple is? Those nuns looked down on me because I came from a poor family. It was a great grace for them to take me in, so I tried my best to find my daughter at the foot of the mountain."
We were working the same job, so we could take care of each other. When I first came here, I had a better temper, and I tolerated their sarcasm, sarcasm, difficulty, and bullying. One day, I finally couldn't help it and smashed a hundred kilograms in the temple.
Big water tank. From now on, no one dares to bully me anymore. After all, it’s the kind of people who are bullied and the weak.” She sighed, clapped her hands, and said to me: “You are too good-tempered, so let it go.”
They bully."
I smiled and said: "You still have an adult daughter to rely on. Anyway, you are naked and single in the temple, so there is nothing to be afraid of. As for me, I came out of the palace, and Ganlu Temple is my last refuge.
If I leave here, I really have nowhere to go. What’s more, there are Huanbi and Jinxi who will be dragged down by me again."
Mo Yan thoughtfully nodded and said, "That's right. That's really wronging you!"
I smiled bitterly, "It's just a matter of muddling through. If we say it's a grievance, how can it not be a grievance?"
Mo Yan said: "That's right. Just look at the girls in Ganlu Temple and you will know that they fight openly and secretly over trivial matters as big as sesame seeds and mung beans, and they do all kinds of tricks. You used to be a noble person in the palace, and there are many more women there than in Ganlu Temple.
, whenever a man is involved, wealth and power are involved, any woman who is not so vicious as to kill her with all her might will turn her eyes red, and you will suffer no less grievances in the past."
She was a rough person, but I was really touched when she said such considerate and heartwarming words. Looking at Ganlu Temple, except Huanbi and Jinxi, who would say such words to me.
My eyes were slightly red. After all, I wanted to be strong and didn't want her to see it. I just lowered my head and rubbed my clothes and said softly: "You can see clearly."
Mo Yan snorted softly and said, "What's unclear? Looking at this world, men always enjoy happiness and happiness. Women, whether they belong to poor families or rich families, do not suffer in the same way."
She sighed: "Just like you and me, if people are not forced to the extreme point of desperation, who would abandon their family and become a monk halfway."
These words hit me hard on the heart, shaking me violently. However, no matter how shaken my heart was, I just smiled and said nothing.
Mo Yan saw that I was just stunned and knew that I felt bad, so he smiled and said, "I'll tell you a joke."
I managed to cheer myself up and said with a smile, "What?"
She smiled mysteriously and said calmly: "The stinky man I used to come to see me again last month."
I said "Huh?" and said, "Do you want to go back with him?"
She glanced sideways and said, "He wanted me to go back, but if I had gone back with him, I wouldn't be here now." She smiled and said, "The stinky man's new wife also gave birth to a daughter, and the stinky man also gave birth to a daughter.
He told me that his newly married wife is young, but her appearance is not comparable to that of when I was young. And her hands and claws are clumsy. In the past, I could weave two pieces of cloth a day, and the weaving was dense and good. Then
Women can't knit a piece of yarn in two days, and they often break threads and use wrong needles, which makes the stinky man so angry that even beating him is useless."
"Then what did you tell him?"
Mo Yan's eyes had a soft yet cold luster, "I only told him one thing, to bring back the life of my dead little daughter. As long as she survives, I will go back with him. That stinky man had nothing to say, so he had to walk away.
." Her tone became gentle and sad, "You don't know how cute my little daughter is, and I love her so much. It's a pity that she only lived in this world for less than three days." There was silence all around,
There was a sound of wind passing through, and the sobbing was like complaining. Combined with Mo Yan's sadness, it made people feel particularly sad.
Mo Yan wiped away his tears fiercely and said: "A stinky man can be so beautiful. He asked me to go back and let him enjoy the blessings of everyone in vain. I will not be his mother. I am a clean person with my daughter.
I am much more comfortable than at his house. My little daughter cannot die in vain."
I vaguely remember reading the Book of Songs and seeing this article:
I went up the mountain to pick weeds and met my old husband when I came down the mountain. I knelt down and asked my old husband: "What will happen to the newlyweds?"
"Although the newlyweds say good things, they are not like old friends. They are similar in color, but their hands and claws are different."
"New people enter through the door, and old friends leave through the union."
"New people weave silk by hand, so they weave silk by hand. One piece of silk is weaved every day, and the silk is more than five feet long. If the silk is compared to the plain silk, the newcomer will not be as good as before."
It can be seen that men are unlucky and women are unlucky. This has been the case since ancient times and has not changed at all. But Mo Yan is much more tenacious and courageous than the Miwu girl.
I squeezed her hand tightly and comforted her: "It's okay, it's over after all."
Mo Yan smiled sadly, "Do you know why I am willing to say these things to you?"
I shook my head and smiled, "Probably because you think I have a strict tone of voice."
She smiled silently and held my hand, "Because I can see that the pain in your heart is no less than mine."
I smiled quietly, and the wind blew through my wet hands, as if I had the tight feeling after dry tears. However, what can I say. In the end, I can only be speechless.