I slept so soundly this night. In fact, I am also very lonely and need warmth very much.
Zhuang Qing, we once had so many beautiful things, and I believe we have each other in our hearts, but the world has made us unable to come together again. I used to think it was because of Chen Yuan, but now I
Only then did I really understand the reason: the most fundamental reason why she didn't want to be with me was Lin Yi.
She has always known about my relationship with Lin Yi, but she has always regarded Lin Yi as the murderer who ordered the murder of Song Mei. In fact, all this is just a superficial appearance, but the deeper reason is her feelings for Song Mei.
This is actually a deformed emotion. I believe she herself knows that her feelings are not normal, and the key to the problem is that she cannot control them at all.
Of course, I believe that if Lin Yi was not the murderer who ordered the murder of Song Mei in her heart, she would still probably be with me, because we also have real feelings for each other.
Of course, I won’t care about her troubled life like I care about other women, because I think everything can be forgiven, not to mention that I am also that kind of person. If that day comes, I, she, and we will
They will think more about the future.
But all this is just "if", she and I are destined to continue in this way in our lives.
In fact, speaking for myself, my emotions are not abnormal. After I got married to Zhao Menglei, I made such mistakes again and again, and then it was still the same after I got together with Chen Yuan. Later, I and Chen Yuan
So many women are together, but have I ever truly shown my true love? Especially recently, Udonmei...I actually agreed to Lin Yu and asked Udonmei to follow Governor Huang. Hey! Now!
Even I don’t know what kind of person I am anymore.
I can only comfort myself in my heart: it is because of this deformed society that a deformed person like me has been born, including Zhuang Qing.
It was already after five o'clock in the afternoon when I woke up, and the sky outside was already dark. Zhuang Qing was still in my arms, and she slept so soundly.
I gently moved her body to the side, and she turned over and murmured: "Don't move, sleep a little longer..."
I went to look at her and found that her eyes seemed to be no longer puffy, and she still had a slight smile on her face.
I patted her back gently and said, "Zhuang Qing, I'm going to get up and cook. You can just sleep a little longer."
She still had her eyes closed, but she was acting coquettishly, "No, you stay with me."
I had no choice but to lie there and not move. She came into my arms, but she had already woken up.
"Feng Xiao..." Suddenly I heard her calling me.
"Yeah." I responded.
"That's great," she said.
"Hmm. I think so too." I said.
"It would be great if we could stay like this." Her voice became softer.
At this moment, I suddenly had an impulse, "Then, let's be together. Let's get married."
Her body trembled, and I felt it clearly. Immediately, she raised her upper body, and then looked at me. She asked me: "Feng Xiao, are you still willing to marry me now?"
I nodded, nodding firmly, "Yes, of course I do!"
She was looking at me, her eyes motionless, as if she wanted to see through my heart. I was also looking at her, "Zhuang Qing, you don't believe me?"
She smiled brightly at me and then returned to my arms. She said: "I believe it. But Feng Xiao, aren't you worried that I will still sleep with other men after we get married? My current career decision
changed my way of life.”
I shook my head and said: "You won't. If we really get married, you won't be like that again. Neither will I. Because we have a responsibility to each other, and there is also a relationship between us.
What you have is real emotion.”
She asked me: "Do you really believe that I can do it?"
I smiled and said, "Qu Jin once told me something. She said that with your personality, ordinary people would not dare to bully you. In other words, no one will force you unless you are willing."
She then said quietly: "Feng Xiao, it would be great if we could really be together. But that is impossible. It can only be a dream of ours. Feng Xiao, do you know? You
Wrong. I can't do it. Even after I marry you, I can't be with you alone. In fact, I also know you, and you can't be the only woman with me. Neither of us can do it. Instead of this
, it’s better for us to continue like this. Feng Xiao, you learn from me and don’t get married. In this case, no one will care about your private life. Marriage can certainly reduce a lot of loneliness for a person, but it will limit oneself.
Freedom. Don’t get married. If a person has never experienced married life, he can give it a try, but for people like you and me, it is no longer necessary. Don’t you think so? "
I nodded, "Yes, I think what you said makes sense."
She immediately became happy and immediately put her body on top of mine, "Feng Xiao, this is great. Even if I am with you all the time in the future, I will never feel guilty again.
.You won’t have it either. You think so, right?”
I smiled and said, "Yes."
In fact, I was thinking in my heart: Can I really do it without getting married? What Zhuang Qing said is certainly reasonable, but my parents would not agree, and I also know that a person cannot wander alone like this all his life.
Yes, we all have to find our own destination. It’s just that neither she nor I have found the person who truly suits us.
She kissed me gently, and I responded gently...our tongues were entangled...
I don’t know when it started, the two of us were like twin babies, intertwined and entangled...
"Feng Xiao, I want you. Hurry, give it to me... Hurry..."
At this moment, I suddenly woke up and said, "No, Zhuang Qing, you can't! You're like that down there and you need to rest." I gently took her into my arms and said, "Zhuang Qing, you can't..."
She let out a long sigh, "Feng Xiao, why are you so nice..."
I got up after kissing her for a while, and then went to the kitchen to see what was in her refrigerator. There were indeed a lot of vegetables in it, such as radishes, vegetables, etc. There was beef, pork, etc. in the freezer. The kitchen stove
There are also various seasonings on the table, including chili peppers and Sichuan peppercorns.
It took me more than an hour to prepare the meal, and then I went to the bedroom to call her. After entering, I found that she had just finished taking a shower and was getting dressed inside.
To be honest, now I suddenly found that she is more beautiful in clothes than she is now, because her body is actually very petite and thin.
"Are you done?" She was looking at me and smiling, not shying away from the fact that I was looking at her.
I smiled and nodded, unable to help but swallow a mouthful of saliva.
She looked at me and smiled sweetly, "You want me?"
I hurriedly said: "Hurry up and put it on. The food will be cold in a while."
But she was still looking at me and smiling, "Okay. I'll be right away. Feng Xiao, I'll be fine tonight. Then you can have me."
I immediately said to her seriously: "Zhuang Qing, that's not possible. You have to rest for at least three days before you can do such a thing."
She immediately glared at me, and then laughed, "It's so boring to be with you doctors!"
I stewed radish soup with beef, and added a small amount of Sichuan peppercorns and chili peppers to remove the fishy smell of the beef. I also fried a plate of shredded pork and a vegetable dish.
Zhuang Qing cheered when she saw the things on the table, and immediately tasted them one by one, "Ah, it tastes great."
I was very happy and said, "You can eat it if you like."
She said: "Let's have a drink."
I hurriedly said: "No. You must stop drinking now."
She pouted, "You are so boring."
However, she did not persist.
The two of us had a very warm dinner together. That night, I seemed to have the feeling of going back in time. Unfortunately, the past will never come back again, and there was one person missing at the table. Chen Yuan