At this moment, I suddenly felt a little regretful, because I found that I had done something that I really shouldn't have done. But now that things have reached such an extent, it may be too late to undo it, because now Udonmei
It seems that I no longer have the right to love in a short period of time.
This is a cruel reality, and I have to remind and warn her.
She ate something more, then put down her chopsticks again, "Teacher Feng, I know I did something wrong, so I really can't eat anymore."
I asked the waiter to come over and pay, and then we went to the coffee shop not far away with her.
Two cups of strong coffee were placed in front of us. We sat by the window, and our nostrils were filled with the aromatic smell of coffee.
She remained silent, and I knew she was waiting for me to pronounce her sentence.
In fact, my heart is also very complicated. On the one hand, I think she should have the minimum right to pursue her own feelings as a human being, but on the other hand, I think she should not break the contract at this time. Yes, what she did is a kind of
It violates the contract and is likely to cause some danger to me.
We faced each other in silence, and after a while I started to speak. I asked her slowly: "Dongmei, do you hate me?"
She probably didn't expect that I would ask her like this, so she was a little caught off guard, "Teacher Feng..."
I shook my head with a wry smile, "Don't call me teacher, I feel so ashamed. Dongmei, our acquaintance is actually a kind of fate. If we hadn't decided to sing on the spur of the moment that day, if you hadn't happened to come to our private room,
Inside, if I hadn’t happened to choose you, and if you hadn’t been a medical student... In short, from the time we met and then we lived together briefly, this was the result of these ifs. You said,
What is this if not fate?"
She seemed to have been moved by my words. She lowered her eyebrows and said softly: "Yes. And Teacher Feng, you are kind-hearted and even went to get my mother's things back in person. I am actually very grateful to you."
"
I was still shaking my head, "No, you don't need to thank me for anything. In fact, in the final analysis, the relationship between us is a transaction. You accompany me because I am lonely. I pay you because you need it. Although I also believe that between us,
After living together for a period of time, we have some emotional feelings for each other, but in the final analysis, it is still a transaction between us. Maybe what I pay you is a little too much, but that is what I am willing to do, because I find that you give me
It brought unprecedented happiness, whether it was mental or physical. Dongmei, I am telling the truth. Later, I asked you to be a nanny for the leader. In fact, I was very reluctant in my heart.
One is because I can't let you go, and the other is that you are so sensible. But I have to do it because the leadership needs it, and because I also hope that you will not find a shortcut because of this. Some people need to struggle for many years to get it.
It may only take you a few years to achieve your goal, which can be considered as me thinking about your future. This is a realistic society, and I believe you also hope that you can be like this. So, from another level, you are now
That job is actually a continuation of the contract between us. Dongmei, maybe what I said seems a bit cruel, and maybe I shouldn’t say it in front of you, but that’s the fact. In my opinion, in this world
Not many people are noble, because most of us live in reality. Including myself, I never think that I am very noble. In fact, you and I both understand this in our hearts. So, I just
I won’t say those hypocritical words in front of you. Dongmei, I hope you don’t ignore my advice to you because you are disgusted with my words.”
She whispered: "Just tell me, Teacher Feng."
In fact, I know that she must have very low self-esteem in her heart. After all, she lives in such a family. After all, she once, and even still has to do such things for money. Maybe she was indeed in the beginning.
Because of need, the need for survival, but now it has slowly become out of control, because her desire for money has long been different from before. This is actually caused by low self-esteem: she is already like this.
, why not continue working for a few more years and earn more?
I thought I had a good grasp of her mentality, so I felt I had to explain some things to her clearly and thoroughly, otherwise what might happen in the future might happen.
So I continued: "Dongmei, as I said before, your current job is actually a continuation of our contract. So you should abide by this contract, but the person you are serving now has changed. You want to talk
I don’t object to falling in love, but it’s useless if I don’t object. The leader must not object. If he doesn’t object, then I have nothing to say. But think about it, will he not object?”
She doesn't speak.
But I kept looking at her, looking at her beautiful and sad look. My heart had already softened, and it was still aching. But I knew that now was not the time for me to feel soft. I continued: "I am a man.
, I fully understand what it means to be a man, because men are exclusive to the women they like, unless it is absolutely necessary. At that time, I had no choice, because this is a world of the jungle, and I used money to snatch you away from your boyfriend.
Come to me, and later I had to ask you to accompany the leader, all for this reason. You are a weak person, but I am not the same. So, I hope you can think about this issue carefully. Maybe you should
In a few years, two or three years, you can get what you need, get rid of all the shadows you have now, and then live a normal life. Dongmei, let me tell you the truth, you
The past has become a fact that no one can erase. Just like my own past, I also have many things that I cannot talk about. Those things are also the shadows in my heart. How can I erase them?
?I think there is only one way, and that is one's own future success. Only after achieving success can a person become confident. Only by using his future self-confidence to overcome the shadows in his heart can we gain relief.
The only way. Because people from ancient times to the present have agreed on a concept: success is king, failure is bandit. According to the current saying, history is written by the winner. As long as your future career is successful, as long as you think that in the future
Only after your own life value is truly reflected can you forget all the shame you once had. Dongmei, do you think what I said is right?"
There were tears dripping from the corners of her eyes, but she nodded at the same time.
I sighed in my heart, and at the same time I felt my heart hurt even more. But I knew that I had to continue to harden my heart, because I was also in a helpless state. I continued: "Dongmei, and
I have to tell you a crueler sentence, because I have to say that I hope you will make your own decision as soon as possible after listening to it. This sentence is: If you want to continue to work as a leader, then you must be clear.
: Right now, you don’t have the right to fall in love. Unless you decide not to do it right away. Okay, I’m done. You can decide for yourself. If you really don’t want to do it, that’s fine. I’ll do the rest for you.
Deal with it. Dongmei, do you know? I have been thinking just now that it may be a kind of providence that I can run into you and your boyfriend together by chance today."
I know that she will definitely choose to continue, because her inner needs are still far from being met, and for her with such a past, she must have long doubted the so-called love in her heart.
Love is a luxury product that not everyone can enjoy and taste. Even for me, who seems to have unlimited glory in the eyes of outsiders, I no longer have too many extravagant hopes for that kind of love.
.
I stopped looking at her because I couldn't bear it anymore. At this moment, she looked pitiful in front of me, and tears kept falling from her eyes. Her state of mind had already infected me, and I
My heart had long since become sad. I looked out the window at the bustling city, but quietly, tears began to fall slowly from my eyes.
What came to my ears was her soft sobs, and every sob she made hurt my heart.
But I'm waiting, I have to wait for her to tell me her choice.
This kind of waiting is an unspeakable torture for me, and my tears continue to fall... The time passes by second by second, but she never speaks. I know that she is also experiencing the same thing in her heart at this moment.
The suffering should be even greater suffering.
I couldn't let myself wait any longer, because I couldn't bear this kind of suffering anymore. I turned to look at her, choked with sobs, and sighed: "Dongmei, forget it. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that to you.
It's okay. I'll tell the leader about this. You can leave that leader from now on. From now on, you can continue your normal life that you need. I'm sorry..."
She suddenly raised her head and looked at me. Her face in front of me was dimly filled with sadness. She was looking at me, "Teacher Feng..."
I shook my head and waved to her, "Stop talking, I understand. That's it. You go back first, I want to sit here alone for a while. You go back, I'm fine."
However, she suddenly reached out her hand to my face, and wiped away my tears, "Teacher Feng, why are you crying? I, I have thought about it...Teacher Feng, you are right, I
I really don’t have the right to fall in love now. I am too ignorant. I’m sorry, Teacher Feng.”
Her decision was just as I expected, but at this moment I was not happy at all. On the contrary, I suddenly regretted it: What's wrong with you? Why did you use this method to force her? Feng Xiao
, you are really going too far!
I couldn't help but shake my head, "Dongmei, maybe I'm wrong. Think about it again, think about it again. Your choice is free, and I have no intention of forcing you."
She immediately took her hand back, picked up a tissue on the table and wiped her tears. Then she remembered to give me one too. She looked at me and smiled, "I have decided. Teacher Feng, what did you just say?"
I understood all those words, but I was too stupid. I decided that I would think about other things of my own in a few years."
I looked at her and found that there was a kind of determination in her eyes, "Have you really decided?"
She nodded, "Yeah. You are right. For my future, I must succeed as soon as possible, at least have money. Maybe only in this way can I escape the shadow of my past." (To be continued)