On the fourth day, she and I returned to Jiangnan. I sat in my office.
Picking up the landline phone on the desk, "Director Ruan, please come over."
The first person I wanted to find after coming back was her. On the way back, I kept thinking about this issue.
Nowadays, except for nursery rhymes, no one else seems to know about the relationship between me and Ruan Jie. Therefore, I feel that after what happened to Secretary Luo, the most important thing for me to do now is to
Find out from Ruan Jie whether this incident has any impact on her. If not, I'm lucky. If so, my top priority right now is to stabilize her and take measures as soon as possible.
And all this must be done quietly. Because of this, I can't ask anyone else. You know, in today's situation, many people will become sensitive, and if I am not careful, I will be considered
There is no silver here.
She is coming.
I have been observing her secretly since she first came in. I noticed that there was a faint melancholy between her eyebrows.
Until now, I still don't know what kind of impact that incident had on her, but at this moment, when I saw the slightly melancholy look on her face, I couldn't help but feel worried.
I asked her to sit down in the reception area, and then I went to sit across from her. I felt that this way would make it easier for us to talk about such topics.
Then I went to make her a cup of tea.
She came to me first and asked, "Have you found the child?"
I shook my head.
She sighed, "Hey!"
I didn’t want to talk about such a topic with her at this time, so I immediately asked her: "Are you okay? I know everything about Secretary Luo. Are you okay?"
She is a woman anyway, so I must pay attention to my questioning skills. Now that I have decided not to continue that kind of relationship with her, the first thing I should pay attention to is respect for her. Now, I begin to feel some respect from the bottom of my heart.
I understand that there is a saying: a man and a woman can still become friends after they no longer have that kind of relationship. And the prerequisite for two people to become friends is that they should respect each other.
In addition, questioning skills are very important, both to make the other party accept it and to induce the other party to answer. The officialdom is also a workplace, and many detailed questions may become factors that determine your future in the future. The question
The key is to develop a habit of paying attention to details. For example -
A group of leaders from a certain place went to a certain place for a meeting. The local custom was to have steamed buns, porridge, and an egg for each person for breakfast. This morning, a leader peeled the eggs and found that they were bad, so he told the waitress: "Give it to me."
Replace it with another one, this egg is broken."
After a while, the lady came back, but she forgot who wanted to change the egg. Then she shouted loudly: "Whose egg is broken?"
The leaders were silent. The lady shouted again: "Whose egg is broken?"
Still no one agreed.
At this time, the restaurant manager came over and said to the waiter: "You little girl is so rude. You should ask: Which leader's egg is broken?"
Suddenly, the restaurant manager felt that there was something wrong with what he said, so he quickly changed his tune and shouted loudly, "Which leader is the bad guy?"
Both the waitress and the restaurant manager in this story made a joke because they didn't know how to ask questions.
In the process of interaction between people, only by asking appropriate questions can we achieve the purpose of smooth communication and make the conversation situation and results beneficial to ourselves. Even people who meet for the first time are no exception. Some people open their mouths as soon as they ask questions.
out of the other party's chatterbox,
The two parties met each other late and became good friends. When some people asked questions, the other party was speechless and the situation became awkward. Both parties had to say "goodbye" in the end.
It can be seen that asking questions is also an art of speaking, which plays an important role in shortening the distance between the two parties.
For another example, a restaurant is recruiting waiters, and two young people apply. The first applicant greets customers like this: "Hello, would you like eggs?"
The customer waved his hand and did not answer, and the conversation ended.
The second applicant greeted the customers like this: "Hello, would you like one egg or two eggs?"
The customer smiled and replied: "An egg."
It can be seen that the second applicant's speaking strategy is quite successful. He uses restrictive questions. This type of question has two characteristics: First, it limits the possible answers of the other party during the question, which is conscious and purposeful.
The second is that this kind of questioning can make the other party feel the sincerity of the questioner, feel harmonious and cordial in the heart, and feel that the kindness is difficult to accept and feel embarrassed to refuse, even if
Even if you originally wanted to refuse, you would involuntarily change your mind and respond in accordance with the questioner's wishes.
This type of question is generally only applicable when the intended purpose is very clear. When the situation is not well understood and there is no clear purpose, the scope of the question should be large rather than small, and it is better to live without death. You must leave the other party with a free choice in the answer.
If you are working in the office and someone forgets to turn off the computer after using it, you can ask casually: "Are you still using the computer now?" This is better than directly saying "Why didn't you turn off the computer after using it?"
"Much better.
Therefore, I did not directly ask her like this - "Secretary Luo's matter has nothing to do with you, right?"
In the past, when I had that kind of relationship with her, I asked her more than once about her relationships with other men. Although that was something I felt I needed to know about, it was mostly to hurt her self-esteem in front of me.
The purpose of this kind of blow is to prevent her from going too far in front of me.
It's different now. No matter what, she was once my woman, and now our relationship is no longer, but I should respect her because she has given to me.
She was shaking her head, "Now I go to work every day and then go home. I don't dare to show up at all."
I asked in surprise: "Why?"
She said with a sad expression: "Someone told me that someone at the Provincial Education Commission is discussing my relationship with Secretary Luo."
Sure enough, such a situation happened. I suddenly became more worried. But I still asked: "How did others know about your relationship with Secretary Luo?"
She shook her head, "How do I know? I used to go out with him for meetings, so of course others would guess that. I am a woman, not only young, but also not ugly. No one dared to tell me when he was here, but now he is gone
Of course, the only way to make a case is to bring me out. I am at a senior level at such a young age, so I don’t know how many people are jealous.”
I asked again: "Are you sure? No one knows about you and him except Director Leng. Is that right?"
She nodded, then shook her head slightly, "Who knows? I don't think so."
I immediately felt something: In fact, her bigger problem may come from psychological pressure. After Secretary Luo’s incident, the first thing she thought of was the relationship she had with him, plus there were people talking about her behind her back, so
This kind of psychological pressure is even greater. The root of her psychological pressure is that she values her own future too much, so she has a fear of losing it. (To be continued)