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Chapter 186

"Feng Xiao..." she stopped me, "Why don't you ask me what I'm going to do with the money?"

I had already opened the door without turning around, "It's up to you."

After returning home, she lay down on the bed. At that time, Chen Yuan was still watching TV. She hurried in and asked, "Did you drink again today?"

I shook my head, then took out the letter from my pocket and handed it to her, "Take a look."

She took it suspiciously and opened it, "Brother, what is this?"

"This is my fault." I said, "Look, don't listen to me on everything from now on. You should take care of me if I don't do well. I am a weak-willed person and I need others to take good care of me."

Just take care of it. Yuanyuan, I don’t want you to become the second Zhao Menglei. Do you understand what I mean? Now it seems that her result is also because she indulged me. "

"Brother, what happened to her, Sister Zhao? What happened?" she asked me, her voice weak.

What bothered me the most was her being so cautious and without any opinion. I immediately said angrily: "Didn't I let you see it? You'd know it after you saw it?"

She looked at me in shock, "Brother..."

I immediately sighed, "Give it to me, don't look at it. She is already dead. Don't disturb me, let me have a good sleep."

She let out an exclamation. I didn’t want to talk to her anymore, so I fell into bed and slept with my clothes on. My body and nerves were already exhausted, or it could be said that my subconscious wanted to avoid everything that had happened.

.immediately fell into sleep.

Suddenly I saw her, Zhao Menglei, she was smiling at me. "Menglei..." I forgot the reality that she was dead and ran towards her excitedly, but she turned around and looked at something. "Menglei..."

"I ran in front of her, she turned around, and I suddenly let out a scream! I saw, I saw her eyes protruding, and her tongue fell out of her lips horribly! Suddenly she woke up and I

She was still immersed in fear, and she was much scarier in her sleep than in reality. Today, when I saw her in the detention center, I didn't feel any fear, but I was really frightened in my sleep.

Meng Lei, please don’t do this, please don’t scare me like this, okay? I murmured to the dark night.

With a "pop" sound, the lights were turned on, and it was Chen Yuan. "Brother, are you having a nightmare?"

I do not speak.

"Brother, I read her letter. Don't blame yourself too much, okay? It's my fault. I shouldn't have married you. I never imagined..." she continued.

I was very upset, "Didn't I tell you? I told you not to disturb me. Why are you still here?"

"Brother, I'll go to the guest room to sleep right away." She said in a low voice with a crying sound.

My heart suddenly softened, "Forget it. Leave me alone and don't turn off the light."

From this day on, I can no longer sleep with the lights off at night.

She came to my side and leaned closely against me, "Brother, can I take off your clothes for you? It's easy to catch a cold."

I already regretted it in my heart and felt that I shouldn’t have lost my temper with her like I did just now. I found that I had become a little abnormal recently. Regarding Zhao Menglei’s issue, I was full of guilt and regret, and at the same time, I felt deep in my heart.

Everyone is also blaming Chen Yuan.

I recalled the first time I met Chen Yuan. At that time, I thought she was so beautiful and holy. Later, she was injured and hospitalized in our department. I was so heartbroken at that time. Later, she became

My woman, until recently when we got married. I found that I seemed to be becoming more and more indifferent to her, and I didn’t take her seriously anymore. It seemed that I was repeating everything that happened between me and Zhao Menglei. Feng Xiao, could it be that

Once you get her, you no longer feel cherished. Do you have to feel guilty and regretful after the same thing happens again? Instead of that, why don't you cherish her and take good care of her from now on?

Thinking of this, the tenderness in my heart suddenly rose, and I immediately sat up from the bed, "I'll do it myself. Yuanyuan, I'm sorry, I'm in a bad mood, I shouldn't lose my temper with you."

"Brother, stop talking. It's all my fault." She said hurriedly, her eyes beginning to shed tears, "Brother, I feel very uncomfortable now. I feel like Sister Zhao was killed by me.

.”

I took off my clothes and pants, then threw them on the bedside table, turned around and held her in my arms, "Yuanyuan, this matter has nothing to do with you, don't blame yourself. All the problems are with me. If

If I had cared more about her and experienced her care and tenderness towards me, maybe all this would not have happened. She said that all of this was destined, but I don’t think so. In fact, all of this turned out to be my indifference.

It is caused by selfishness. Yuanyuan, tell me, what kind of person am I? I can be caring and tender to my patients from the bottom of my heart, but I am so indifferent and insensitive to my family. Now

Even I don’t know what kind of person I am anymore. Alas..."

"Brother, it's not like that." She said in my arms, "You are very good to patients, your family and friends. I think you are very good to everyone, but you have too little love.

, so it can’t be allocated.”

I smiled bitterly in my heart, feeling that her statement was too childish. She continued: "Brother, actually I believe in fate now. Let me just talk about myself. I have had no parents since I was a child and grew up in an orphanage.

, and then he was sent to study until he graduated from college. This should be considered a blessing, right? Later, when he came here, he was so hurt. But he got to know you because of it, and then he had your child. You said

Is this a greater kind of luck? Isn't this the arrangement of fate? Brother, don't be angry if I say something. I read the letter that Sister Zhao left for you when you fell asleep just now.

, I was thinking that Sister Zhao might have believed in fate too much, so she completely surrendered herself to fate. If she was a person who was good at expressing herself, maybe all this would not have happened. But in that case, both of us

It is impossible for us to be together. Therefore, I feel very guilty, because it is as if my good luck has brought misfortune to Sister Zhao. Brother, in fact, I am also a person who believes in fate, but I

Maybe I won’t believe as deeply as she does. Because compared to you, I believe in you more about fate. Now I feel that having you is everything to me. Brother, I still have one thing that is different from Sister Zhao.

Likewise, I don’t care too much about your life outside, because I already have our children. Maybe you think my idea is contradictory, but that’s how I think, because I know I can’t ask for too much. God

In fact, it is very fair. If a person gets too much, it will arouse the jealousy of others and bring punishment from God. Brother, now I feel a little scared, because I find that I, no, it is us, I

Found out we got too much of everything.”

She nestled in my arms and spoke softly, and I listened quietly. At this moment, I felt that my heart was so peaceful. However, her words shocked me a little, because I didn't expect her

She actually had the same uneasiness as me in her heart. Moreover, she didn’t even mention that she had found her mother just now. Could it be that she was still unwilling to forgive Shi Yanni?

Suddenly I thought of the money Zhao Menglei left, because what Chen Yuan just said reminded me of this matter. Obviously, Zhao Menglei left the money to me. But, how could I

Will you use them? Just now Chen Yuan said that we got too many things. Her words suddenly made me feel panic, "Yuanyuan, you are right. Tonight I found a

She left her bankbook and bank card with a lot of money in them. She also donated money to you, so I want to donate all the money she left behind in her name. Maybe this will make it easier for her to

Her soul found some comfort in the fact that she was a very kind person by nature."

"Yeah." she said.

"Now our family already has so much money, and your income and mine are both low. Money is a good thing, but I think you have to get it through your own efforts, otherwise you will feel uneasy about using it.

"I said, thinking at the same time, "But where can I donate the money to where she will be happy?"

"What did she like most when she was alive?" she asked me.

I was startled, then shook my head and said, "I don't know." I felt uncomfortable again. Yes, what she likes most is something I don't know.

"Just think about it slowly, and then talk about it after you think about it. Don't be anxious about this matter. You have to find the place where she might want you to donate it most. Brother, when I was in college, I went to the temple once and heard that

The monk said something, and I think what he said was very reasonable," she said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, thinking: It seems that she really believes in fate.

"The monk said that they went to perform rituals for the dead, but in fact it was the living people who really saved us. Later, I thought that people may not know anything after they die, and it is actually their relatives who are uneasy when they are alive. So,

I think the most important thing is to make yourself feel at ease. Brother, do you think so?" she said.

My heart suddenly shook. (To be continued)


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